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Guest Kaur 2

VJKK VJKF

8 hours ago, IronLion said:

I think you just summed it up perfectly.

The best thing you can do is be an example and as the child grows up he will be influenced by you as an example. I have two perspectives on this though: 1) from an adult convert to Sikhi and 2) as a parent of a baby whose mother is not Sikhi. 

First, I am Sikhi now, but I am 34 and have only been Sikhi for several months. I have always been "spiritual" starting as a child and have a long, maze-like,  journey from being raised Christian to bouncing from atheism to Judaism to Buddhism (for the longest stretch) and now Sikhi. I wouldn't have been ready for Sikhi before now. I don't even think I knew about Sikhi until I was in my late 20's when I met a Sikh for the first time in my life and still didn't really know what Sikhi was. I still found Sikhi for myself though! This is Waheguru's plan for me - everything has a reason. The important thing now is that I am on the Sikhi path and for me to stay on this path. 

Second, I have a baby and that means thinking about the future for my baby. My fiance (his mother) isn't very spiritual, but her family is Catholic and she wants to expose him to Catholicism. I'm OK with that as long as I am able to expose him to Sikhi, as well. It is completely non-traditional and I know many here will probably shake their heads about that, but I am OK with it. I wasn't raised Sikhi, but I am now and I think the path I took set me up to be Sikhi and as I said, I don't think I would have been ready at an earlier age. My main plan is to lead by example. If he chooses Sikhi at an early age - great, if he finds it later in life - good, if he never finds it this life, well that is Waheguru's plan and I will accept it. 

As you said earlier, it's all Waheguru's hukam. I find myself saying that a couple times every day! I hope that my take from my couple perspective is helpful. I thank Waheguru daily for letting me find Sikhi - I hope that your new brother finds it, as I hope my son also finds it.

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

-I. 

:) Thanks veerji..

VJKK VJKF

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Guest Kaur 2

VJKK VJKF

On 31 March 2018 at 11:51 PM, Guest guest said:

Kaur 2,

I'm a big fan of your posts and your intelligence.

what can you do to help this baby?  just keep being yourself!  you will naturally create a good influence around the child.  and you can share your influence when you spend time with the child.  you can play him/her Gurbani, teach them the things that you think are beneficial.  and of course always do Ardaas for them to go on the right path.

of course you don't know what kind of personality the child will have.  just like you have your own strong incline to Sikhi.  but as an older sibling i think you will be a powerful influence.  

Aww thanks so much, this intelligance is not mine its gurbani. I am not clever in the slightest but I just follow what Guru Ji says because Guru Ji's intelligence is beyond limits. You dont understand you have melted my heart with your kind words, no-one has ever said something so nice to me. Thanks for the advice on how i  could help this child i will defienetly follow it. Thanks sooo much. :) 

VJKK VJKF

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest Kaur 2

VJKK VJKF

UPDATE: My mum went to her 20 week scan and it turns out its a girl. The scan is not always correct but it mostly is. It may be a boy but from what I can gather the doctor said its a girl. I feel really excited and happy and blessed that its a girl. :)) 

VJKK VJKF

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  • 3 months later...
Guest Sakhee Kaur

Vadhiyaan to you and your family on the newest upcoming addition to the family! I echo what a lot of the members have said here already about what to do to ensure the child remains in Sikhi. It's wonderful that you have such a strong desire for your baby-sister-to-be (or brother, if the scans turned out to be wrong!). There's actually a recent post on Sikh Family Life addresses about the importance of examining our own actions, etc.: https://www.sikhfamilylife.com/2018/07/why-kaljug-is-great/

 

However, you're absolutely correct in thinking that mothers have MASSIVE influence over how their children turn out. These 9 months in the womb are foundational to children. Of course, they aren't everything, but there's actually a way that mothers can ENSURE their children stay in Sikhi for the rest of their lives. This post covers that: https://www.sikhfamilylife.com/2018/04/a-secret-power-of-sikh-mothers/

 

Finally, there's a whole (ongoing) series that's on Maa De Farz (A Mother's Duties/Responsibilities): https://www.sikhfamilylife.com/maa-de-farz-series-a-mothers-responsibilities/

Posts in this series are published every other week. 

 

Perhaps some of these posts will be of interest to you, even if you aren't yet ready to be a Mum. Or perhaps you'd like to share these with your Mum and she may have a change of heart! :)

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On 3/24/2018 at 12:47 PM, Guest Kaur 2 said:

VJKK VJKF

I think I mentioned in a previous topic that my mum is having a baby. The reason why I chose to make this topic is because I want to give this child the support I never had. I want to inspire this child to be a proper Gursikh. The support that I never had from my parents like the frequent comments of: "You're going too deep into Sikhi", "Guru Ji never told girls to wear a dastar" I want this child to become a proper Sikh and not have to struggle to find Vaheguru amidst Kalyug. The rest of my brothers and sisters are slowly coming into Sikhi but I want this child to know that he/she has my full support and that they can come to me if they need any help. I asked my mum the other day: "Can the baby hear what we are hearing" (because she was listening to songs in the car) and she said yes. I said to her: "Listen to gurbani so that the baby is not hearing all this ganth (rubbish)". She said: "I want the baby to be a mix, religious and listens to songs". I was confused because you can't be a "mix". I didn't ask her any more questions but I started thinking of what I could do to help this child.

That's why I made this topic. What can I do to get this child into Sikhi at an early age? In the car my mum listens to stuff like Shiv Strotam and stuff I've never heard before because they aren't Sikhi but they are actually a Hindu prayer. I am not quite sure what to do or even if this is even right or wrong. I am asking for the Sangat's opinion on this and some guidance.

VJKK VJKF

She sounds ...

 

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Guest SourTruth

Its great to hear your intentions. But seems like you have quite a challenge on your hands.

 

Key thing is, dont let it frustrate you larer on over the years when you find barriers come up as the sibling grows up. It might be that your influence really works but unfortunatley if the childs mother isnt making the right influence then that has an impact. The mother is who the child will primarily learn from. This shouldnt put you off but remember the long term.

So what im trying to say is dont stress , never get into an arguement over whats sikhi or right/wrong for the childs sikhi.

You may find when they want to listen to music you will have to accept you can't change that.

 Sometimes a challenging childhood makes a better person. Some who have it perfect end up going of the rails.  

 Be gentle and subtle in your approach. Over many years just be there for the child, do ardas. And one day when the child is reflecting some 10,15 20 years later they are able to take comfort in gurbani. 

The child brings its own destiny. 

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Guest jigsaw_puzzled_singh
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Perhaps even show them the Khalsa nursery rhymes basics of sikhi posted

What ??  :ghost:    Is there anything more lame than those 'incey wincey khalsa' converted nursery rhymes ? Even my youngest cringes every time they have it on the Sikh Channel.

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maybe start with when you're playing holding baby doing naam simran , when puttinf little one down for nap do some mool mantra jaap whilst he/she falling asleep , at night sit in  the room and do kirtan sohila for her/him  if questioned say you heard babies have calmer sleep ..(mum will probably be tired enough to try anything LOL)

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Guest Internal beauty
On 3/24/2018 at 10:47 PM, Guest Kaur 2 said:

VJKK VJKF

I think I mentioned in a previous topic that my mum is having a baby. The reason why I chose to make this topic is because I want to give this child the support I never had. I want to inspire this child to be a proper Gursikh. The support that I never had from my parents like the frequent comments of: "You're going too deep into Sikhi", "Guru Ji never told girls to wear a dastar" I want this child to become a proper Sikh and not have to struggle to find Vaheguru amidst Kalyug. The rest of my brothers and sisters are slowly coming into Sikhi but I want this child to know that he/she has my full support and that they can come to me if they need any help. I asked my mum the other day: "Can the baby hear what we are hearing" (because she was listening to songs in the car) and she said yes. I said to her: "Listen to gurbani so that the baby is not hearing all this ganth (rubbish)". She said: "I want the baby to be a mix, religious and listens to songs". I was confused because you can't be a "mix". I didn't ask her any more questions but I started thinking of what I could do to help this child.

That's why I made this topic. What can I do to get this child into Sikhi at an early age? In the car my mum listens to stuff like Shiv Strotam and stuff I've never heard before because they aren't Sikhi but they are actually a Hindu prayer. I am not quite sure what to do or even if this is even right or wrong. I am asking for the Sangat's opinion on this and some guidance.

VJKK VJKF

Teach the child to make their inner appearance presentable and pure. That's the best lesson you can teach them.

The rest doesn't matter, the aim of all of it was always just to speed up and assist the process of purifying inside. 

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