I am back and engaged ..

[Prokharkoo84]

hold up, how can you 

6 hours ago, GurjantGnostic said:

I'm not sure I agree, in some small part yeah a bit, but dude is going to consumate, and tend to her needs even if he has to take a pill. 

If he's loving, treats her well, gives her children, is a good Sikh and doesn't drink and beat her, he's got a good argument that he can be a good husband. 

Within Sikhi, sex is only for those joined in Anand Karaj, and that is only for a man and woman. So homosexuals have to remain celibate or do something like he's suggesting. Only better alternative for him would be if Anand Karaj was suddenly made available to gay people, which isn't happening any time soon, if ever. 

There is a lot more to love than bangin it out. He sounds prepared to be good to her in all ways, including that. 

Let's flip it...what if you entered into Anand Karaj with a lesbian,  who was Gursikh, treated you well in all ways, and still made love to you and bore children even though she's gay...problem would be?...

I'd take that any day over some drunk, abusive, lazy, self entitled straight girl. 

bro allow the scenarios, the reality is that ajeetoo is not into women, so why is he marrying one? Our Guru Sahibs and shaheed singhs gave kurbaniyah protecting women, are we that stupid now to think just because someone might be nice to a girl he deserves to shatter her dreams and hopes?

[puzzled]

20 hours ago, jkvlondon said:

well that's put all our bazurg and purkiyan in their place ...silly billy lust is transitory as is beauty  many people on the planet stick around and honour their partners due to deeper things as empathy, loyalty, love(unconditional) , honour and common goals .

I understand what your saying but when our grandparents were young that was a very different time, back in Punjab it was a completely different culture. Most men did not know what a woman looked like other than what his wife looked like. Women were covered top to bottom with many layers and drapes many women even covered their faces! There was no Media, Movies, Posters of slutty women etc Women were hardly allowed out of the house and most men had sharam and honour. Today its very different, were exposed to sex, skin, nudity everything, it really has changed the way we think in comparison to how our elders thought. Attraction has become a big part of relationships and marriages but yeah i agree loyalty, honour should be far more important in marriages  

[GurjantGnostic]

6 hours ago, Prokharkoo84 said:

he deserves to shatter her dreams and hopes?

You may be right or may not be. That's an assumption of what you think she wants, or what you think would make her happy. Neither of which is necessarily the point of Anand Karaj. Not to say those things don't fit very nicely within Anand Karaj. 

I just personally have met a variety of women that would love if their husband was basically a gay dude that would f em. 

Almost anything can work when it comes from an open honest loving place. 

Maybe she wouldn't be happy, but we don't know that for sure by any means, and we aren't party to all the communication between the families and individuals. 

[Prokharkoo84]

reading some of the comments off so called 'singhs'. you are a bunch of jokers who would cry if your own sister/daughter married a bender under false pretences. from the days where our singhs bought back hindu girls from the afghans to the nau jawan kharkoos who raised a voice for those poor girls who were bullied by their soreh, we have now got a bunch of MC besharam dogs like yourselves who think it is ok for a bingah to ruin some innocent girls life. since when did being bent, married a girl, taking a pill but being a 'good sikh' make you sikh? you all a bunch of idiots.

[MisterrSingh]

13 hours ago, GurjantGnostic said:

Maybe she wouldn't be happy, but we don't know that for sure by any means, and we aren't party to all the communication between the families and individuals. 

Have you been in the company of resident Punjabis for even a few moments? Because I'm not recognising any of those traits you're attributing to them, lol. The glass-half-full approach is admirable, but doesn't apply to junglee people, and I say that as someone with some junglee blood coursing through my veins.

[GurjantGnostic]

11 hours ago, MisterrSingh said:

Have you been in the company of resident Punjabis for even a few moments? Because I'm not recognising any of those traits you're attributing to them, lol. The glass-half-full approach is admirable, but doesn't apply to junglee people, and I say that as someone with some junglee blood coursing through my veins.

Astute observation, heh. I did get to watch my Jatt friend marry a girl from the pindh and bring her over. That ended horribly.   He taught me a lot about Sikhi, even though he's barely Sehajdhari. 

He was super controlled by kaam and alcohol and she went nuts with all her new found freedom here and also went nuts with kaam and alcohol. 

To the greatest degree though no, I'm pretty ignorant about the workings of the culture. 

I'm looking at the situation from this point of view. In Sikhi, there is nothing against homosexuals, except to say Anand Karaj is between a man and woman, and sex is only for those joined in Anand Karaj. So homosexuals either have to be celibate or do what the OP is doing, in order to have a household or sex of any kind. I just see it as his only option, and possibly a unique solution, and I don't think it's fair to assume he's ruining her life or they won't be happy due to his homosexuality. 

What worries me more is she's from the Pindh, exhibits some symptoms of having a tough life, and there is a huge difference in resources, a type of inequality. That, and if he doesn't, or hasn't, told her of his orientation.  

I do lack junglee blood, I was born with that melanin deficient, grown in darkness and rain kinda blood. 

[MisterrSingh]

11 minutes ago, GurjantGnostic said:

Astute observatio, heh. I did get to watch my Jatt friend marry a girl from the pindh and bring her over. That ended horribly.   He taught me a lot about Sikhi, even though he's barely Sahejdhari. 

He was super controlled by kaam and alcohol and she went nuts with all her new found freedom here and also went nuts with kaam and alcohol. 

To the greatest degree though no, I'm pretty ignorant about the workings of the culture. 

I'm looking at the situation from this point of view. In Sikhi, there is nothing against homosexuals, except to say Anand Karaj is between a man and woman, and sex is only for those joined in Anand Karaj. So homosexuals either have to be celibate or do what the OP is doing, in order to have a household or sex of any kind. I just see it as his only option, and possibly a unique solution, and I don't think it's fair to assume he's ruining her life or they won't be happy due to his homosexuality. 

What worries me more is she's from the Pindh, exhibits some symptoms of having a tough life, and there is a huge difference in resources, a type of inequality. That, and if he doesn't, or hasn't, told her of his orientation.  

I do lack junglee blood, I was born with that melanin deficient, grown in darkness and rain kinda blood. 

I worry for Ajeet IF he goes through with this and, as I suspect, his prospective wife eventually discovers he is gay, which isn't something that can be kept perpetually secret in Indian society. The natural response from her end will be to lash out, alert all and sundry to this shocking revelation, and maybe take things further in order to punish the architects of the deception. 

What you're proposing is a HUGE ask for two constitutents of a relationship who come from a tolerant and civilised background and culture; expecting the same from our people in that part of the world -- even in so-called metropolitan Mumbai -- is demanding the impossible in my opinion.

[GurjantGnostic]

19 minutes ago, MisterrSingh said:

I worry for Ajeet IF he goes through with this and, as I suspect, his prospective wife eventually discovers he is gay, which isn't something that can be kept perpetually secret in Indian society. The natural response from her end will be to lash out, alert all and sundry to this shocking revelation, and maybe take things further in order to punish the architects of the deception. 

What you're proposing is a HUGE ask for two constitutents of a relationship who come from a tolerant and civilised background and culture; expecting the same from our people in that part of the world -- even in so-called metropolitan Mumbai -- is demanding the impossible in my opinion.

Interesting. I truly appreciate the communication.

He best tell her now then if he hasn't. That should be totally on the table before Anand Karaj. 

[Prokharkoo84]

like i said your all a bunch of idiots for supporting this binghah kuthah.... firstly he is ruining some innocent girls life, then he doin ultimate beadbi of the beautiful anand karaj and Guru Granth Sahib ji, then to top it all off, what will his 'wife' and her family and friends think of singhs? seriously wake up and see how wrong this is!!!!

[GurjantGnostic]

@Prokharkoo84

Just curious..do you think the op might be ruining this poor girls life?