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Guest Singh

Punishment methods for kids

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Guest Singh

Any guidance in Sikhi about parenting and punishing kids for bad behaviour? How did your parents punish you as child for being bad? Or how do you punish your kids? With strict Punjabi parents, my brother and I always got proper punishments. Normally 5 mins of spanking with a karachi (wooden spoon). Looking back it did hurt but I’m glad my parents did it because it stopped me behaving bad. And I used to behave really bad!

My kids are 8 and 11. I know other options available like grounding or banning TV, but sometimes it’s not enough?

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Guest Kaur 2

Its a good point but our parents creative ways will never lose to the gora "timeout" method cos we all know that aint gonna work..

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On 5/19/2018 at 11:15 AM, MisterrSingh said:

flipflop-havaianas-logo-orchid-roseturqu

Your parents had havaianas?? ਬੈਰੀ ਨਰਮ ਜਿਹੀ ਸੱਟ ਲੱਗਦੀ ਹੁਣੀ ਆ

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Guest jigsaw_puzzle-singh
On ‎5‎/‎18‎/‎2018 at 3:48 AM, Guest Singh said:

Any guidance in Sikhi about parenting and punishing kids for bad behaviour? How did your parents punish you as child for being bad? Or how do you punish your kids? With strict Punjabi parents, my brother and I always got proper punishments. Normally 5 mins of spanking with a karachi (wooden spoon). Looking back it did hurt but I’m glad my parents did it because it stopped me behaving bad. And I used to behave really bad!

My kids are 8 and 11. I know other options available like grounding or banning TV, but sometimes it’s not enough?

You might be exaggerating a bit with the "5 minutes"...I mean 5 minutes is a long time :hairan: but generally I think you need to be careful when it comes to physical discipline because it can be counter-productive. There are many thousands of white middle aged middle class managerial types that are addicted to being spanked to this day....and pay good money for it.  I'm not a doctor but from my own expert medical opinion I reckon it's because they liked getting spanked as kids. So with a cure often comes other maladies. For example, I used to be addicted to alcohol. I went to the doctor and he told me to lay on the couch. I laid on the couch and he urinated in my mouth....and it worked. From that day onwards I no longer craved alcohol. Only trouble is, now I'm addicted to doctor's urine and it's a lot more difficult to get. Especially after hours on a Friday night.

The answer then, is to beat the kids at their own game...i.e. the Law.  Whenever my eldest would deserve a beating he used to quote the law and threaten to call social services. My answer was to remind him of the Law that says I can kick his sorry arse out into the streets when he turns 16. To get this point across I placed a countdown calendar thing on the fridge that showed how his days were numbered  and also regularly showed him homeless bums on the street as a warning of things to come unless he straightened himself up. Needless to say, he straightened himself up.

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28 minutes ago, S4NGH said:

Your parents had havaianas?? ਬੈਰੀ ਨਰਮ ਜਿਹੀ ਸੱਟ ਲੱਗਦੀ ਹੁਣੀ ਆ

I once got hit bare back by the following:

s-l1000.jpg

I never misbehaved thereafter. 😁

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17 minutes ago, MisterrSingh said:

I once got hit bare back by the following:

s-l1000.jpg

I never misbehaved thereafter. 😁

Very stylish. I'm just glad they didn't settle in the Netherlands.

il_570xN.1316217474_kjfu.jpg

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Me and brother got beat with one of those wooden karchis once.

It was painful and I was glad when the karchi broke in two peices while getting hit by it. So the beating came to an end after it snapped in two.

😃

Otherwise it was the usual hi tech trainer.  lol

 

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Guest Gagan

As a kid I only got beat on bottom when I did something real bad, like getting excluded for fighting at school 😂.

Otherwise my parents used to pull my ears hard when I misbehaved.

Only you can decide what’s best for your kids! Even if you beat them its out of love to stop them behaving bad next time. 

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Guest Guest12344

My parents use to use the count down method. They would also use to put me in bathroom with the lights off! LOL I use to get so scared and then I restrained from misbehaving.  

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I think giving them a slap or smack with a chapal is ok now and then but not always!  My dad used to have serious anger issues and he used to get it out on me! It was really bad! I would never treat my own kid like that ! I'm in my 20s now and still remember it like it was yesterday.  So it's important not to get to hard on them! Especially if you can't control your anger.  

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If you don't want bad behaviour from your kids, don't feed it with your own bad behaviour. If a kid is having a screaming mental fit, don't shout at them as that just feeds their anger. I'd suggest just walk away nonchalantly like you aren't going to react to such behaviour. The child will run out of steam before you. Do that a few times and they will realise that screaming etc won't get them what they want and that you won't conceed. Do it consistently and you'll be surprised by the results. Yes, It does work, as I do it with my kids. Angry shouty kids most of the time reflect angry shouty parents. I know its hip to see kids as 'equals' to the adults, but if you want a peaceful life you have to let them know who is boss, set boundaries, and that you can't be manipulated by their behaviours.  Oh and don't think this will make them not 'love' you because you aren't caving in, they will still do so (actually even more)

Look at it like energy, if you react to angry energy with 'anger' you feed the anger. The best way to deal with it is to deflect it (not absorb it).

We all have stories of the chappal whacks, but if it was so effective why did we get whacked so often? After a while it didn't hurt.

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Guest jigsaw_puzzled_singh
1 hour ago, imhosingh said:

If you don't want bad behaviour from your kids, don't feed it with your own bad behaviour. If a kid is having a screaming mental fit, don't shout at them as that just feeds their anger. I'd suggest just walk away nonchalantly like you aren't going to react to such behaviour. The child will run out of steam before you. Do that a few times and they will realise that screaming etc won't get them what they want and that you won't conceed. Do it consistently and you'll be surprised by the results. Yes, It does work, as I do it with my kids. Angry shouty kids most of the time reflect angry shouty parents. I know its hip to see kids as 'equals' to the adults, but if you want a peaceful life you have to let them know who is boss, set boundaries, and that you can't be manipulated by their behaviours.  Oh and don't think this will make them not 'love' you because you aren't caving in, they will still do so (actually even more)

Look at it like energy, if you react to angry energy with 'anger' you feed the anger. The best way to deal with it is to deflect it (not absorb it).

We all have stories of the chappal whacks, but if it was so effective why did we get whacked so often? After a while it didn't hurt.

Good points. You know, I am usually very reluctant to draw anyone's attention towards any research studies, especially Psychology - and in this case child psychology - studies because something like 95% of such published studies around the world use 'white Europeans' as their subject matter and so their 'white centric' findings are usually pretty much irrelevant to our culture. As such, I'm always seeking information away from this euro-centric bullc*ap and sometimes you really do find what you are looking for in the most unexpected of places. In terms of how to raise a child....a GOOD, OBEDIENT, WELL-BEHAVED child, I think we all need to learn from the Mayan people native to Central America, mostly Guatemala. Their children are extraordinarily good and studies have show that the reason for this is the way the parents get the kids involved at an early age. From an early age, when a child sees his or her mother cooking or father working, the child naturally wants to join in. Here in the west, mother will say no because it's dangerous or there'll be a mess made in the kitchen and father will also make excuses - usually on 'elf and safety' grounds and say no. In Mayan culture however, parents understand that more than anything else in the world - i.e. more than fun, toys and play - the child really desires to be helpful and do what mummy and daddy are doing. Instead of saying 'no' the Mayans actively look at the child and say "come child.....come help" and never ever shout of chastise when things get broken or go wrong. The result is the most well behaved, happy and helpful children in the world.

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