My marriage ... I am feeling gloomy lately , but I feel I am optionless . What should I do ? :(

[Not2Cool2Argue]

9 hours ago, AjeetSinghPunjabi said:

Thanks . thats a very mature and well written post.

BTW , I do feel homosexuality perhaps run in my family, on the paternal side . I had an inkling about this because I had an older cousin who never married and never displayed an interest in females. For some odd reason he never married . Now he's old man (The huge age difference in us cousins is because of age factors of our parents btw).

Now my other cousin's son -- he's 10 yr old i think displays feminine poses in his photos and sometimes explicit gender deviant behavior. 

It perhaps run in my family  

That's interesting that its on the paternal side. From what ive read, I thought it could be X-linked or maternally inherited... but who knows?

They are also saying its due to hormones during pregnancy, and as there's increased estrogen in our waters and food due to birth control and pesticides..

[Guest jelly]

On 6/9/2018 at 2:34 PM, AjeetSinghPunjabi said:

As you all are probably aware that I am engaged to this girl . However lately I am feeling gloomy since yesterday i think because for some reason I feel sad that I am marrying for lifetime to someone who I am not attracted to . I feel a big void in my life and as if in that void there can't be anything except pain and sorrow. 

Whenever me and my fiance talk to each other over phone, I never feel like intimacy , I feel like when will this call end , because it gets so odd and I don't know what to talk next. I feel like I fool myself into believing i like talking to her , however perhaps I don't . Or is it because we're not used to talking to each other yet. She lives in punjab and I am in mumbai.

On the contrary talking to my male friends is fun and its not scary or anything . 

On other hand sometimes i feel like I am cheating this girl and keeping her in dark and god is going to punish me big for this  I don't want to destroy any girl's life , I hope to satisfy her in every way a husband can -- however I doubt the bedroom part sometimes . I feel like how will I live with a girl I have no bonding with for  a lifetime . Sometimes I question my decisions, other time I feel they're right because my parents are happy with her and I had little other option anyways.

I certainly don't feel like an excited happy youngster about to be married. Its more like a rite of passage for me , a part of my monotonous life . And I have no idea what else to do . I don't even feel like I can go back now . I have moved beyond that point.

You are such a liar. Why are you even considering marrying a person from the opposite sex when you are a poofey?  Real sikhs don’t lie.

[Guest]

On 6/18/2018 at 9:28 PM, Guest jelly said:

You are such a liar. Why are you even considering marrying a person from the opposite sex when you are a poofey?  Real sikhs don’t lie.

you're part of the problem why gay guys marry girls . . also apparently you didn't have guts to come with your real profile but signing in as anonymous.

buggger off now

[Guest Jelly]

17 hours ago, AjeetSinghPunjabi said:

you're part of the problem why gay guys marry girls . . also apparently you didn't have guts to come with your real profile but signing in as anonymous.

buggger off now

You are the only poofey on this forum as far as know so you should be the one to bugger off  and not me lol. You are a liar because you are lying to your mother and father and the poor innocent girl you are about to marry. Sikhs are not meant to tell lies. What makes you think this is not my real id? What will you do if your future wife finds out? How can you lie to her? If you really feel any love for her in your heart you should tell her the truth and let her marry someone normal like herself. I have also heard that your condition is catching, what if she catches it from you, becomes gay and has many love affairs with other women after she is married to you? Answer me now? Homosexual behavior is catching get it?  Be honest and live an honest life of who you are, people will respect you more for being honest. Don’t freak out after reading this post.