Feelig lost..

[Guest]

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[Guest]

On 6/18/2018 at 8:52 PM, Guest Anonymous said:

Hi everyone. ive been feeling very lost and depressed recently and am looking for some guidance. let me give you some background. i come from a highly respected and religious family (i have sants in my family tree) so my whole family is very religious and amrtidhari. i’ve struggled a lot since starting college. i’ve drank, done hard drugs and have been in a long relationship with someone of a different ethnicity and religion. i’ve lies to and stolen from my parents. i am finally learning to restrain from drinking and drugs, and i no longer hurt my parents. but my biggest issue now is engaging in sexual/physical relations with my significant other. we talk about marriage and i cannot see myself spending my life with anyone else, but i know this relationship would hurt my parents and they would make me choose between them and my partner. how can i break up with someone i truly love becaus it’s not accepted in our community/society? is marrying someone outside of sikhi a sin? i have been trying to forgive myself for the drinking and drugs but find it so hard. how am i going to know if waheguru has forgiven me or accepted me? i just feel like such a piece of <banned word filter activated>. so i guess my main question is, how to abstain from my sexual relations with my long standing partner, and how to deal with our relationship in the years to come? how do i move past and forgive myself for the drinking and drugs? i do japji sahib and rehraas sahib everyday but i know that is not enough to be welcomed into Guruji’s charna. i just feel so lost and depressed i don’t know what to do. 

Why u always horny? Cant u keep it in your pants for a few more minutes or what?? Is it that hard?!? Just dont even look at any girl or even talk to that girl. Just blank her. Ignore that dirty woman and dont even touch her. Simple. Block her from everything like her phone number, all social medias.

Then go live with some saints/mahapurakhs for like a month and do their seva. Go to damdami taksal in india to learn. Do ANYTHING to get out of this hell fire

[MisterrSingh]

13 minutes ago, NonExistant said:

 Ignore that dirty woman and dont even touch her. 

Some might argue he's just as "dirty." It takes two to... dirty things up, lol.

I'd suggest OP to take a step back from it all, including from his lady love. If she truly is meant to be his, she won't mind while he sorts his head out. 

 

[SikhInTheMaking]

This is a good example of why apneh are drifiting from Sikhi ..... The guy has come on here for help and most people are taking shots at him and judging him. Ive noticed that certain gursikhs feel as if there above everyone else (especially when it comes to moneh).  The OP isnt even a mona and most people have already put this barrier up when talking to him. Hes done wrong no doubt but should that mean we turn our backs and instead take the P and judge him? We all need to work together to keep people on the right track and into Sikhi. Some people are further in their journey with Sikhi, some people are caught up in maya but my point is we shouldnt judge. Work together and help each other 

Message to OP - Noone can question what type of Sikh you are, only waheguru. 

[puzzled]

Im not trying to scare OP or judge him i just asked why he turned out like that because Sikhi says you're family etc are saved if you do naam simran. I can kind of relate to him actually, Iv done some wrong things in the past, alcohol etc and i also have some important Sikh families in my family tree, in fact when anyone asks me what my family name is i feel very guilty and embarrassed as i don't even keep my dhari yet!     What stops me from going back and doing wrong stuff is that i know Guru Ji is always watching me and after this life i will come face to face with the gurus, how will i look them in the eye after doing wrong things my whole life, how will i justify calling myself their sikh while doing wrong things, thats enough to keep me away from doing wrong stuff before marriage and alcohol etc. 

No one is perfect and most of us will make mistakes throughout our life but guru ji is forgiving too, remember bhai joga who tried to visit the prostitute was forgiven my guru Gobind Singh ji after he asked for forgiveness. The gurus are our parents and parents always forgive their children. Have faith and ask for forgiveness. 

coming off from alcohol is hard, iv been there, its good that you came off it, it starts taking you're life over 

[jkvlondon]

On 6/18/2018 at 7:52 PM, Guest Anonymous said:

Hi everyone. ive been feeling very lost and depressed recently and am looking for some guidance. let me give you some background. i come from a highly respected and religious family (i have sants in my family tree) so my whole family is very religious and amrtidhari. i’ve struggled a lot since starting college. i’ve drank, done hard drugs and have been in a long relationship with someone of a different ethnicity and religion. i’ve lies to and stolen from my parents. i am finally learning to restrain from drinking and drugs, and i no longer hurt my parents. but my biggest issue now is engaging in sexual/physical relations with my significant other. we talk about marriage and i cannot see myself spending my life with anyone else, but i know this relationship would hurt my parents and they would make me choose between them and my partner. how can i break up with someone i truly love becaus it’s not accepted in our community/society? is marrying someone outside of sikhi a sin? i have been trying to forgive myself for the drinking and drugs but find it so hard. how am i going to know if waheguru has forgiven me or accepted me? i just feel like such a piece of <banned word filter activated>. so i guess my main question is, how to abstain from my sexual relations with my long standing partner, and how to deal with our relationship in the years to come? how do i move past and forgive myself for the drinking and drugs? i do japji sahib and rehraas sahib everyday but i know that is not enough to be welcomed into Guruji’s charna. i just feel so lost and depressed i don’t know what to do. 

is she willing to go towards Guru ji because if she is then you could both learn and return together, this will help you be a united front to approach your family .

Oh I just realised you never mention your gender what is it ? Because for sure your folks will not accept a nonsikh marrying their daughter because they cannot guarantee your freedom to practise sikhi

[Guest Anonymous]

Hey guys, OP here. Wow, Im seriously shocked at most of these responses. I really came here looking for help advice and maybe some comfort bc I really have been feeling like a POS for my actions and I’m trying to rectify what’s I’ve done so I can move forward and live a better, more truthful life and connect with Waheguru. Yet instead I find tears coming to my eyes as I read these responses. Come on guys.. isn’t our community supposed to be there for our brothers and sisters when they fall off track? Instead of shutting me down for what I’ve done (whichever i know was wrong, i’m not trying to deny that at all) it would’ve been nice to have some solid concrete answers or some advice on what to do. And I’m a female, btw. Please guys. I came here for help, not to worsen my already guilty conscious. I know what i have done and I am seeking help.  

[jkvlondon]

15 hours ago, Guest Anonymous said:

Hey guys, OP here. Wow, Im seriously shocked at most of these responses. I really came here looking for help advice and maybe some comfort bc I really have been feeling like a POS for my actions and I’m trying to rectify what’s I’ve done so I can move forward and live a better, more truthful life and connect with Waheguru. Yet instead I find tears coming to my eyes as I read these responses. Come on guys.. isn’t our community supposed to be there for our brothers and sisters when they fall off track? Instead of shutting me down for what I’ve done (whichever i know was wrong, i’m not trying to deny that at all) it would’ve been nice to have some solid concrete answers or some advice on what to do. And I’m a female, btw. Please guys. I came here for help, not to worsen my already guilty conscious. I know what i have done and I am seeking help.  

Okay  but you still haven't said if you are a guy or a girl because it makes a difference in approach ...

Until then remember Guru ji jaani jaan hai
from Now Nand Lal go forward with understanding/thought
whatever has passed has passed
 

 

[Singh1989]

On ‎6‎/‎18‎/‎2018 at 8:52 PM, Guest Anonymous said:

Hi everyone. ive been feeling very lost and depressed recently and am looking for some guidance. let me give you some background. i come from a highly respected and religious family (i have sants in my family tree) so my whole family is very religious and amrtidhari. i’ve struggled a lot since starting college. i’ve drank, done hard drugs and have been in a long relationship with someone of a different ethnicity and religion. i’ve lies to and stolen from my parents. i am finally learning to restrain from drinking and drugs, and i no longer hurt my parents. but my biggest issue now is engaging in sexual/physical relations with my significant other. we talk about marriage and i cannot see myself spending my life with anyone else, but i know this relationship would hurt my parents and they would make me choose between them and my partner. how can i break up with someone i truly love becaus it’s not accepted in our community/society? is marrying someone outside of sikhi a sin? i have been trying to forgive myself for the drinking and drugs but find it so hard. how am i going to know if waheguru has forgiven me or accepted me? i just feel like such a piece of <banned word filter activated>. so i guess my main question is, how to abstain from my sexual relations with my long standing partner, and how to deal with our relationship in the years to come? how do i move past and forgive myself for the drinking and drugs? i do japji sahib and rehraas sahib everyday but i know that is not enough to be welcomed into Guruji’s charna. i just feel so lost and depressed i don’t know what to do. 

Guest Ji.

The question is what is YOU want in life? Is it possible to settle with your partner, get married? If you leave your partner will there be regrets?

Yes you must respect parents as well. However, if you are separated from them the love does not die away. But what about your partner? They can always get someone else in their life. Can you live with that?

White people, no matter what we say about them, their parents have one thing correct! They say "You're 18-21 now. Go living on your own. Do whatever. Come visit, talk over phone but go live your own life."

They put faith in their kids that they'll survive. What about us? Have we agreed to move away n leave it to Akaal Purkh He'll feed us? Look after us? If we followed the whites traditions I reckon life would be 80% easier. THINK ABOUT IT! How many non married singles in their 30's or 40's? At home you give tension n problems to your parents. But if you had a place of your own?

Parents have their space n kids have their space. And once parents are no longer with us? A will has been made to share property. But kids are busy looking at their own property, life and think "I don't really need their share..." LOOK AT WHAT HAPPENS IN INDIA AND COMPARE!

BACK TO POINT! Guest Ji, forget about the world and focus on YOUR happiness, where does it go the most?

If you leave partner and go with parents will you ever see partner again? Now, if you leave parents n go with partner, will situation be improved maybe 10-15 years later? Will they welcome you n your partner with open arms?

See, if you leave partner you may never see 'em again. But leaving parents, it's truly a gamble. A risk where you must wait n see.

For now you must choose. Just think where DOES YOUR happiness lie in?

Best of luck I hope outcome for you turns out great. Just have faith in Guru Ji and keep up the Gurbani! It'll help you through.

[Guest GuestSingh]

You can't make those who've posted in this thread feel guilty by saying you thought the community helped one another, when you already turned your back on them for what sounds like a chitta/kala/sulah/hindoo....

Everyone has a choice but a bad apple just can't help themselves and ends up ruining the whole lot  i.e. your family honour/respect.

Seems too many girls - not all of them - just want to have fun but when it goes wrong e.g. sexual grooming, they come running back home & play the blame game. Can't trust any of them.