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Why is intercaste marriage such a big deal for Punjabi Sikhs?


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Guest Finland

Why is marriage between two different 'castes' within Punjabi Sikhs such a big deal? As Sikhs we aren't 'supposed' to put such a big weight on our ancestory/lineage/ (whatever you want to call it) during our normal day to day lives let alone marriage. But from the sangat of Punjabis around me, it isn't uncommon to hear conversations about how low castes are like this and that and high castes are like that and this. I've even heard people say they'd rather have their child marry out of race (culturally and religiously) than marry someone from a lower caste than them. (*Enter the 'Dafuq' meme here lol). 

So why is there such a big stigma against intercaste related marriages?

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I really don't understand it either, but i think younger people care less about it. I really don't care who i marry but my mum tells me to only marry someone from the same caste but other  "higher" castes are acceptable  haha!    Part of me is tempted to marry someone from a "lower" caste and then see how family/relatives react lol   hopefully waheguru ji has planned for me to marry someone of a "lower" caste, we really need to put an end to this caste stuff 

Caste is <banned word filter activated> anyway, my family name belongs to two castes, how the hell does that even make sense

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It's even more intense in Punjab. There's full-on fights, feuds, and disownment in the same family when someone decides to marry another Sikh who isn't from the same caste, even when the disputed caste is more observant of Sikh practices and traditions than the side who's getting all hot and bothered, lol. It's not necessarily about higher or lower caste; just different.

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On 6/23/2018 at 9:17 PM, Guest Finland said:

Why is marriage between two different 'castes' within Punjabi Sikhs such a big deal? As Sikhs we aren't 'supposed' to put such a big weight on our ancestory/lineage/ (whatever you want to call it) during our normal day to day lives let alone marriage. But from the sangat of Punjabis around me, it isn't uncommon to hear conversations about how low castes are like this and that and high castes are like that and this. I've even heard people say they'd rather have their child marry out of race (culturally and religiously) than marry someone from a lower caste than them. (*Enter the 'Dafuq' meme here lol). 

So why is there such a big stigma against intercaste related marriages?

Because ultimately marriage is a business deal and political union and status comes into play.

 

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On 6/23/2018 at 11:17 PM, Guest Finland said:

Why is marriage between two different 'castes' within Punjabi Sikhs such a big deal? As Sikhs we aren't 'supposed' to put such a big weight on our ancestory/lineage/ (whatever you want to call it) during our normal day to day lives let alone marriage. But from the sangat of Punjabis around me, it isn't uncommon to hear conversations about how low castes are like this and that and high castes are like that and this. I've even heard people say they'd rather have their child marry out of race (culturally and religiously) than marry someone from a lower caste than them. (*Enter the 'Dafuq' meme here lol). 

So why is there such a big stigma against intercaste related marriages?

Fool who are attached to Brown Culture. 

Detach from it and be an example, be the change that you want to see in the world. 

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Guest Kaur 2

VJKK VJKF

i just think caste is a whole load of bukwaas. Its seperating our community and down-grading others. I hate the idea of caste. Why are we willing to seperate others from ourselves just because they are "low caste"? The whole idea is full of ego. Smh.

VJKK VJKF

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On 6/23/2018 at 4:17 PM, Guest Finland said:

Why is marriage between two different 'castes' within Punjabi Sikhs such a big deal? As Sikhs we aren't 'supposed' to put such a big weight on our ancestory/lineage/ (whatever you want to call it) during our normal day to day lives let alone marriage. But from the sangat of Punjabis around me, it isn't uncommon to hear conversations about how low castes are like this and that and high castes are like that and this. I've even heard people say they'd rather have their child marry out of race (culturally and religiously) than marry someone from a lower caste than them. (*Enter the 'Dafuq' meme here lol). 

So why is there such a big stigma against intercaste related marriages?

Stereotypes and prejudice. The really low.castes had no.rights. so were.made.to.do unclean.things. like cleaning gutters, cleaning dead animals.to make shoes etc.

So.that feeling of disgust is still prevalent.

Also really low caste, ppl have colored eyes and reddish/blond hair. Which means they have 'invader' blood and arent pure. And my parents are always trying to judge ppls caste bassed on their looks. They usually fail. And have now started to say, its no logner possible to tell who is who. Oh the horror! Lol

Ofc.theres not much difference between the other job based castes like tarkhaan or jat or khatris. But there are cultural differences. 

Not saying. I agree with these thoughts. But my parents are always trying to proove to us why we should be castists even tho Guruji told us not to be. These r some.of the reasons they use. 

Not to.mention. they say that none of the gurus married outside of caste. 

Most panjabis marry inside caste as to not disappoint parents. But it will.change soon.

As to.the having ur surname in 2 caste. Its because,.to avoid discrimination,  the people perceived as lower castes are using high caste names. 

 

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48 minutes ago, Not2Cool2Argue said:

Stereotypes and prejudice. The really low.castes had no.rights. so were.made.to.do unclean.things. like cleaning gutters, cleaning dead animals.to make shoes etc.

So.that feeling of disgust is still prevalent.

Also really low caste, ppl have colored eyes and reddish/blond hair. Which means they have 'invader' blood and arent pure. And my parents are always trying to judge ppls caste bassed on their looks. They usually fail. And have now started to say, its no logner possible to tell who is who. Oh the horror! Lol

Ofc.theres not much difference between the other job based castes like tarkhaan or jat or khatris. But there are cultural differences. 

Not saying. I agree with these thoughts. But my parents are always trying to proove to us why we should be castists even tho Guruji told us not to be. These r some.of the reasons they use. 

Not to.mention. they say that none of the gurus married outside of caste. 

Most panjabis marry inside caste as to not disappoint parents. But it will.change soon.

As to.the having ur surname in 2 caste. Its because,.to avoid discrimination,  the people perceived as lower castes are using high caste names. 

 

Haha yeah I agree  jatts, tharkhans, sainis, chamars etc in general all look the same. Punjabi dalits in general look different to dalits from other parts of India. The only caste which does look different are some  khatris. Other than that you can't tell the difference.

Well I'm from a jatt family but the surname is common among Khatri people too in fact i think it's originally a Khatri surname but then again my family are jatts. I'm guessing some point my ancestors moved to the pind and started doing farming and that's how they became jatts lol   

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Guest Jatt and Juliet

Looking down upon lower castes and treating them as sub human much like Hindus do, is what Sikhi has challenged, not marrying within caste. A perfect example I've myself witnessed is my grandfather who would not eat from the hands of a Teli. People have been conditioned through generations to be proud of their heritage but have forgotten the equality and humbleness preached by Guru Jee.

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I think as long as amrit dharis don't follow rehit properly, such as including the warrior aspects as well as with nitnem, then they are still going to be held back by their families; cultures and tribes/castes etc

 

Some sikhs will be more joined to their sampradaiye, such as some sikh sants and sadhus, and Nihang Singhs etc. As they are less binded by cultures of outside castes and tribes, they are more likely to be in gurmatt. This is the opposite for sikhs following SGPC, and colonial jathebandis and I guess many sant babay as well...

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