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If I have physical relations before getting married does it still count as a kurhet?


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Guest Singh

I was just wondering this...

the rehat maryada states that one of the chaar bujjar kurhets is adultry - you have to be married to commit this. Let’s say a singh wasn’t married, took Amrit at a young age and has a physical relation with someone, does he still have to go pesh?...

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On 8/1/2018 at 10:55 PM, Guest Singh said:

I was just wondering this...

the rehat maryada states that one of the chaar bujjar kurhets is adultry - you have to be married to commit this. Let’s say a singh wasn’t married, took Amrit at a young age and has a physical relation with someone, does he still have to go pesh?...

bro
what did the Panj tell you about relationships with females ? did they tell you to have girlfriends, date , etc or did they tell you to refrain from relationships with any female before marriage then afterwards only with your wife ?

The answer is there, Panj are respresentative of Guru ji in sanchar so what they tell  you take as instruction from Guru ji , if you went against their words then I would say you need to talk to them again and take the prescribed punishment . It is not just adultry but extra marital relations i.e. outside marriage.

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If I have physical relations before getting married does it still count as a kurhet?

It is  definetely bujjar kurhet, whether before, during, or after marriage, having physical relations with other than one´s spouse only.

It is quite evident that as per the present picture of the world in general, "kaam" is viewed as something attractive and harmless.

It is the most powerful vikar through which even devtays, rishis, have fallen due  to its influence on them.

It is not easy to stay away from its tentacles, as at all levels in our daily lives, we see it moving around us, in scenes, such as newspapers, jokes,  conversations, magazines, televison, films,  messages, etc.

But if we are  true sikhs, we should be so much absorbed in His bhakti/simran/Gurbani/keertan, katha, paath, at all times, that this maya, and her servants vikars, dare not come near us.

Ekas(Wahiguru) bin sabh dandh hae.

Stay blessed.

Sat Sree Akal.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Ignore the translation, the exact rehat is not to do "par istree da sang", meaning not to have sexual relations with a woman that is not yours/someone else's. The only way that a woman can be considered yours and not "par istree" is if you have had Anand karaj to her. So yes sex with anyone that is not your wife (whether you are married or not) is a bajjar kurehit. The moment this has taken place, a person ceases to be a Sikh and Guru Sahib's hand is no longer on that person's head. Such a person no longer has any rishta with Guru Sahib any more and they must confess this bajjar kurehit to the Panj pyare, accept and carry out the punishment given to them and re-receive Amrit.

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Guest Anonymous

I’m just a Sahajdhari Sikh not an Amritdhari, I dated few guys long back before I got married & indulged into several times physical relations with few,  at different phase of life during getting to know them. Till finally I dated the guy who meant to be my present husband & even then we had several pre-maritial intimacy too before we finally got married. I know those acts were absolutely wrong  no matter in which religions we are & I feel bad sometimes when I think back.  And today only I cross through this topic about Pesh. I have no idea what that means till I read bit today. I have shallow knowledge of Sikhi but I still try to practise Nitnem more. So what shall I do to compensate my past sins? Even for my husband too,  if he has done with me or any others in his past? 

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An amritdhari has to pesh when he/she commits a bujjer kurehit. You dont uave to worry about that

even when/if you take amrit you dont have to divulge your past actions

other than that, your personal feelings or guilt is between you and maharaj. Continue building your jeevan, nitnem and do ardas

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On 4/6/2020 at 9:55 PM, Guest Anonymous said:

I’m just a Sahajdhari Sikh not an Amritdhari, I dated few guys long back before I got married & indulged into several times physical relations with few,  at different phase of life during getting to know them. Till finally I dated the guy who meant to be my present husband & even then we had several pre-maritial intimacy too before we finally got married. I know those acts were absolutely wrong  no matter in which religions we are & I feel bad sometimes when I think back.  And today only I cross through this topic about Pesh. I have no idea what that means till I read bit today. I have shallow knowledge of Sikhi but I still try to practise Nitnem more. So what shall I do to compensate my past sins? Even for my husband too,  if he has done with me or any others in his past? 

Well theres obviously no going back now. What you can do is make your nitnem solid and do it everyday   and also do waheguru simran, you can do simran while working, cooking etc

Waheguru made you a sikh in this life so it's your duty to fulfill that. Waheguru is our father  and we must obey his hukham   that's the purpose of our life 

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On 8/1/2018 at 11:55 PM, Guest Singh said:

I was just wondering this...

the rehat maryada states that one of the chaar bujjar kurhets is adultry - you have to be married to commit this. Let’s say a singh wasn’t married, took Amrit at a young age and has a physical relation with someone, does he still have to go pesh?...

You have to go for pesh if you have a relationship outside marriage. That basically means that having a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship is a kuhrehit. It’s different to finding someone to marry.

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Guest Guest anonymous
On 4/7/2020 at 5:17 PM, H908 said:

An amritdhari has to pesh when he/she commits a bujjer kurehit. You dont uave to worry about that

even when/if you take amrit you dont have to divulge your past actions

other than that, your personal feelings or guilt is between you and maharaj. Continue building your jeevan, nitnem and do ardas

💟

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YES! Sex before marriage is a bujjar kureth. Also keep in mind what Panj Pyaare stated at your Amrit Sanchar. 

I like to add, All Panj state different things and what they stated stays with YOU only. There are good reasons we do not go sharing details of our at time at the Sanchar. 

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