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Guest Angry and upset

Hi i come from a family of alcoholics and wife beaters.

My question is why do the men get to drink, smoke, go clubbing, talk to other women at clubs other than wives ect whilst wives are expected to be vegetarian, subordinate, uncomplaining, non drinkers, non smokers, domestic servents and restricted to activities inside the house with no free leisure time. 

I see this soo much in my family, my aunty for example, her husband beat her, woke up the whole family including 1 year old daughter so she had to put her back to sleep and I had to face sleep deprivation with school the next day whilst he just slept in bed all day hungover and woke up at night to go out clubbing, drink at home and wake up the whole family with his drunk Punjabi music on full volume.

So, why is this culture to unfair to women. Im tempted to marry into a non Asian family so I don't have to face abuse and double standard corrupt Asian families.

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I'm a Punjabi man and I don't drink, smoke, go clubbing, talk to women at clubs. Just because your family is messy doesn't mean every Punjabi family is like that.  Perhaps you should take your family for counselling or something 

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Guest Puzzled suits you.

Well it is a question- "why is Indian culture so unfair to women?" And how many conservative Indian families do you know openly seek counselling? I'll answer for you none. It's not an angry rant it is a question and it's directed at the domestic subordination of women in the Indian household where women are give a lower status than men due to gender roles subdued in Indian culture from centuries ago where women were sacrificed as sati and men were give rite to bigomny with multiple wives ect. Just because your a non drinker doesn't give an answer to the question your simply just describing yourself as non applicable to answer the question is all. You clearly don't understand the question at all. 

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Guest Trulypuzzelled

To the OP 

I agree there are many punjabi families like this. And even where alcohol and some if the other issues are not relevant this attitude is prevalent in much of punjabi culture and then arguably indian and asian cultures. Abuse in many forms goes unchallenged by our communities. Mental health issues go unnoticed. Male dominance over women is rampant. Big egos and just ignorance prevents positive change at the level that is necessary.

Those who deny it are entitled to turn a blind eye but ignorance is no excuse. To simply reduce the problem to a rant and suggest counselling is not going to solve this.

There are so many issues here.

The world has changed so quickly over the last 50 or so years that it has caused many cultural or traditional norms to no longer fit the societal models, so what may have once worked in certain circumstances is no longer suitable but change is inevitable. I've seen a big change between my grandparents generation to my parents and now to mine. 

 

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On 8/23/2018 at 5:16 PM, Guest Puzzled suits you. said:

Well it is a question- "why is Indian culture so unfair to women?" And how many conservative Indian families do you know openly seek counselling? I'll answer for you none.

If the men in your family openly go out get drunk and sleep around then thats hardly a "conservative indian family" 

On 8/23/2018 at 5:16 PM, Guest Puzzled suits you. said:

It's not an angry rant it is a question and it's directed at the domestic subordination of women in the Indian household where women are give a lower status than men due to gender roles subdued in Indian culture from centuries ago where women were sacrificed as sati and men were give rite to bigomny with multiple wives ect.

Well don't you think you have figured out your own answer?

 

Fact is men are more dominant than women regardless of culture, religion or background. Men are more bigger, louder, aggressive etc and always have been like this. Men have always ran society and always will because men are just more dominant than women and thats a fact.  How many male prime ministers and MPs are there in the world compared to women? tons!   nature and genetics has made men more dominant and that is reflected in society, culture and history. Just look at western media and entertainment, its dominated by men. Women in entertainment are nothing but show pieces like the kardashians and other reality tv stars (and i don't support that)  The porn industry is a western invention/product, it objectifies  and degrades women to entertain men. its not just a indian thing but global thing. western entertainment and media has sexualized women more than anything else and your here complaining about indian men not being fair.     society favors and caters to men and always has because men are just more dominant ...  

In regards to asian men being abusers go onto British news sites like dailymail and its full of white and black men raping, abusing and torturing their women and children.    

If your family are that sexist and annoying then why still live with them? its the 21st century, if you are that fed up of your family and if you are old enough then you can leave home! its simple just move out!. Once you move out you can club, drink etc as much as you like and live life however you want. Its not like you live in afghanistan where you would get stoned alive if you move out. 

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women complain about men being more "dominant" and society sexualizing/objectifying them yet the kardashians(glorified wh0res) have millions of followers on insta and most of them a girls  LOL!    women want to be taken seriously in society yet they have trash like the kardashians as their role models. 

young women don't strip on social media for men but to compete with other women. women wear layers of slap to compete with other women, its got nothing to do with men, and then they want to be taken seriously by men lmao       women are hypocrites.  these days girls bring other girls down more than anything else.  Girls are getting breast/butt surgery not for men but to compete with other women    How can women expect men and society to take them seriously when you look and act like trash and look up to trash.

 

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U have a point. But not completely.

Just becauae men do dumb things like drink and smoke and go clubbing. Doenst mean women should do it. Why should women follow men or do what men do? Who said men are better that women should copy them.

Women should definietly not go smoking, clubbing or drinking. They r very bad for health. Esp mental health. 

If our punjabi culture is going good, its cuz at least the women r avoiding drugs n alchol n clubbing. 

If women start doing this stuff. Very bad effect on family. First of, babies are born with genetic issues and mutations if mom drinks. And women dont find out they're pregnant until 2 to 4 weeks later. So to avoid damaging the baby or potential babies, women should avoid toxins. Second of all, women become addicted faster as theyre body cant metabolize as fast and theyre brain is.more susceptible to addiction. Then women become druggies and forget abt children. 

Third of all,.if ur uncle is being stupid, ppl should stand up to him. Not copy him. Maybe lock him out of the house. And when he starts knocking and making a scene. Call thepolice on him. 

 

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