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How to reframe life for kids ...

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10 hours ago, MisterrSingh said:

You're a smart guy, so can you explain to me as objectively as you can as to why the Indian intellect labours under such cognitive dissonance, that it resents and derides the Westerner yet simultaneously holds his culture in esteem (whether knowingly or otherwise) and ultimately holds the western mindset in a form of reverence, and perhaps also one day hopes to reside in these lands? If the distaste for their ways was genuine and total, then surely even the merest of associations would be considered unpalatable?

1000 years of slavery at foreign hands surely has put a dent in their self-esteem which the hindu nationalists now try to replace with the "advanced ancient indian culture" in which advanced surgeries and test tube babies happened. But I think this is not the actual reason.

The actual reason could be that west has always colonized the minds and markets of foreign nations. Most sought-after-brands in India are foreign , mostly western brands especially when it comes to their dressing sense and accessories. The west does this by social engineering via media , cartoons, etc . 

When we grew up in the 90s in india , cartoon network was hugely popular amongst kids . Initially they never showed anything about diwali , and christmas season used to feature lots of christmas themed cartoons which we loved to watch. The fever was so crazy with christmas I used to make christmas trees on my own . And decorate it with baubels. Having grown out of it now , I see same fever present in corporate offices where they decorate their offices with christmas trees, lightings , and cottons (snow lol) when infact there might not be a single christian in that office . oh the irony LOL 

The america of the 80s and 90s was uber-rich , with revenue surplus among the government and china was not as much of a threat as it is now .  Seeing pics of a beautiful white family next to the chimney fire and a beautiful christmas tree in their wooden white-picket fenced home still rings of that euphoria of the good-old-rich america . 

I think what killed america was the wars initiated by Bush in the middle east . Thats what killed murica , both karmically and fiscally , and we see the effects now China which was growing silently at the time is now almost shoulder to shoulder with america. And thus the trade wars and so on . My gut feeling tells me this will somehow someday erupt in a third WW. 

 

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4 hours ago, AjeetSinghPunjabi said:

1000 years of slavery at foreign hands surely has put a dent in their self-esteem which the hindu nationalists now try to replace with the "advanced ancient indian culture" in which advanced surgeries and test tube babies happened. But I think this is not the actual reason.

The actual reason could be that west has always colonized the minds and markets of foreign nations. Most sought-after-brands in India are foreign , mostly western brands especially when it comes to their dressing sense and accessories. The west does this by social engineering via media , cartoons, etc . 

When we grew up in the 90s in india , cartoon network was hugely popular amongst kids . Initially they never showed anything about diwali , and christmas season used to feature lots of christmas themed cartoons which we loved to watch. The fever was so crazy with christmas I used to make christmas trees on my own . And decorate it with baubels. Having grown out of it now , I see same fever present in corporate offices where they decorate their offices with christmas trees, lightings , and cottons (snow lol) when infact there might not be a single christian in that office . oh the irony LOL 

The america of the 80s and 90s was uber-rich , with revenue surplus among the government and china was not as much of a threat as it is now .  Seeing pics of a beautiful white family next to the chimney fire and a beautiful christmas tree in their wooden white-picket fenced home still rings of that euphoria of the good-old-rich america . 

I think what killed america was the wars initiated by Bush in the middle east . Thats what killed murica , both karmically and fiscally , and we see the effects now China which was growing silently at the time is now almost shoulder to shoulder with america. And thus the trade wars and so on . My gut feeling tells me this will somehow someday erupt in a third WW. 

 

You've lived a fairly middle-class life by Punjabi Indian standards. It's understandable the urban Indian lifestyle is bound to be affected by external factors such as cultural rub-off from Western culture. I'd argue your experiences are a little more organic and "ahista, ahista" than what transpires in villages in Punjab, where some people barely had running water 15 or 20 years ago, and are now driving Humvees and are using iPhones, lol. As I noted on this forum a few years ago, you can't go from 0-100mph in a societal development / evolutionary sense, and not expect there to be problems. Change and progress -- and most importantly, the psychological capabilities of the human brain in as much as how it functions relates to the world and other people -- takes time to adjust and recalibrate in an individual sense and in the wider communal sense, too. It's the equivalent of giving a child spoonfuls of sugar and then expecting him not to get hyper. 

Edited by MisterrSingh

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11 minutes ago, MisterrSingh said:

I'd argue your experiences are a little more organic and "ahista, ahista" than what transpires in villages in Punjab, where some people barely had running water 15 or 20 years ago, and are now driving Humvees and are using iPhones, lol

those are not the same people , right ? 

The rich ones u mentioned are mostly landlords aka jatts . They were rich back then, they're rich now. The last time punjab got cash rich was during green revolution in the 60s but unfortunately it even saw beginning of patit-puna amongst punjabi men

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1 hour ago, AjeetSinghPunjabi said:

those are not the same people , right ? 

The rich ones u mentioned are mostly landlords aka jatts . They were rich back then, they're rich now. The last time punjab got cash rich was during green revolution in the 60s but unfortunately it even saw beginning of patit-puna amongst punjabi men

There is this myth that Jatts were rich and powerful then.

My mum used to tell me that a baniya in his 9 square foot shop could earn as much money as a Jatt who had acres of land.

Difference today is that land prices are so high today in Punjab, the Jatts who hold that land are able to capitalise on those land prices. 

That is big part of the reason why these types have been able to purchase things to show the appearance of wealth.

The problem I see that these guys are noveau riche and noveau riche types can be quite obnoxious because they have not seen money before with all this shiny new stuff at their disposal they are making up for what they feel they have missed out on.

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2 hours ago, AjeetSinghPunjabi said:

those are not the same people , right ? 

 

Same people, more or less. Their success is entirely their own, and nobody begrudges them reaping the rewards of hard work. I suppose they'd be the Punjabi equivalent of what "old money" in the West would refer to as the nouveau riche; old money passes its riches and wealth and titles down from generation to generation, whereas the aforementioned nouveau riche were almost "overnight" successes if we count overnight as one man's lifetime. That's something that causes resentment for some people, and from an old money vs nouveau riche perspective it's very much an issue of breeding and class than purely financial issues, whereby the saying goes, "You can buy a lot with money, but decorum / class is not one of those things."

Edited by MisterrSingh

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39 minutes ago, MisterrSingh said:

Same people, more or less. Their success is entirely their own, and nobody begrudges them reaping the rewards of hard work. I suppose they'd be the Punjabi equivalent of what "old money" in the West would refer to as the nouveau riche; old money passes its riches and wealth and titles down from generation to generation, whereas the aforementioned nouveau riche were almost "overnight" successes if we count overnight as one man's lifetime. That's something that causes resentment for some people, and from an old money vs nouveau riche perspective it's very much an issue of breeding and class than purely financial issues, whereby the saying goes, "You can buy a lot with money, but decorum / class is not one of those things."

It fascinates me all of it whether directly or (mostly) indirectly is a result of one's karmic earning.

Those who have old money are the ones who by simply of the virtue of their birth have landed in a gold mine. Their birth is itself the result of past good karmas. Whereas the ones who're born poor or middle class and earned it , well god blessed them with the "talent and courage to hardwork" to earn that fortune.

I am not discounting human fortitude and hardwork in their success, neither am I saying god would drop down something in ur lap if ur being a lazy assss.  But even fortitude and hardworking attitude is waheguru ji's kirpa.

But God's ways are indeed strange. I am reminded of the themes of verses in Quran Sharif here . "pray to allah , so he may guide you on the true path ". Gurbani also says "nothing is in humans hands. we can best pray"

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On 1/17/2019 at 11:29 AM, mahandulai said:

can be resolved easily , simple rewiring, other reasons I am thinking are present, not the p word

cmon doc

thank yu,

next

 

since you level of expertise in this is zip , I'll carry on advising them to slowly wean off the dopamine hits  by replacing them with other pursuits which are healthy and release endodorphins. You really are a ray of sunshine remind me to warn such people to NEVER talk to you

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On 9/14/2018 at 9:40 AM, jkvlondon said:

Some important points made by a counsellor  about parenting in the modern age and how to deal better with the insidious destruction of childhood by porn . Put lajja to one side and educate your kids before the kids get taught by school and porn.

 

What I want to know is how the hell does a father or uncle broach the subject of sex and attraction with a teenage girl? Because Panjabi moms seem useless at it from what I see. 

This is critical because that's when the groomers start making moves. Sometimes it seems like females don't understand other young female brains? 

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Guru gobind singh ji tells us how his father spoke to him about relations when he came of age, guru ji decided to share this with us in his bani

So we should take it as a hint and talk about this stuff with our kids. If our gurus did this over 300 years ago then why aren't we talking about it ...

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If we don't talk to our kids about this stuff when they reach that age then they gonna turn to celebs and media to understand this stuff and media and celebs aren't exactly the best thing to turn to for advise 

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Just now, puzzled said:

Guru gobind singh ji tells us how his father spoke to him about relations when he came of age, guru ji decided to share this with us in his bani

So we should take it as a hint and talk about this stuff with our kids. If our gurus did this over 300 years ago then why aren't we talking about it ...

Top post. 

It's easy for a man to talk about these things with boys. I've done it with a bunch of young cousins and nephews.  It's girls (because of their potential vulnerability) that we need to crack. Older females (who girls look up to)  could open their mouths up a bit more maybe? 

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17 minutes ago, dallysingh101 said:

Top post. 

It's easy for a man to talk about these things with boys. I've done it with a bunch of young cousins and nephews.  It's girls (because of their potential vulnerability) that we need to crack. Older females (who girls look up to)  could open their mouths up a bit more maybe? 

I agree, men can't exactly talk about this stuff with daughters and sisters, it's the mothers that need to do that. And if girls are to scared to tell their mothers that they are getting raped/groomed then clearly mothers are not talking about this stuff with them. 

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1 hour ago, puzzled said:

Guru gobind singh ji tells us how his father spoke to him about relations when he came of age, guru ji decided to share this with us in his bani

So we should take it as a hint and talk about this stuff with our kids. If our gurus did this over 300 years ago then why aren't we talking about it ...

well considering this must of happened before Kashmiri Pandits came to visit so Gobind Rai would have been nine or ten Years old , so we really shouldn't be squeamish , I started broaching the subject with Isher Kaur when she was six as she had been groped by another child at school, why leave it to school teachers and schoolmates to tell our kids how to behave?

As for other women being too concerned with avoiding the subject as it supposedly sexualising and encouraging girls to go wrong , I can say they 100% wrong , if you approach it gently and put in context of what they want to know about/ age appropriate   also ensure that they know if anything is worrying them , is happening they can always back and tell you. Single Dads need to try to instil a sense of being loved and wanted in the daughters so they don't look outside the home for happiness , and give gurmat sikhia , examples of great sikh women to show how great a woman can be if they keep sikh values . If you get such ideas in kids' heads at a young age they keep them in mind later. It help easing the conversations

 

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On ‎1‎/‎19‎/‎2019 at 9:31 PM, jkvlondon said:

since you level of expertise in this is zip , I'll carry on advising them to slowly wean off the dopamine hits  by replacing them with other pursuits which are healthy and release endodorphins. You really are a ray of sunshine remind me to warn such people to NEVER talk to you

your method is chronic

mine is acute,

you telling them a chronic solution, is even more toxic.

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On 1/21/2019 at 10:36 AM, mahandulai said:

your method is chronic

mine is acute,

you telling them a chronic solution, is even more toxic.

for someone who doesn't know anything you sure do talk a LOT

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