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How to reframe life for kids ...


jkvlondon
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39 minutes ago, MisterrSingh said:

Same people, more or less. Their success is entirely their own, and nobody begrudges them reaping the rewards of hard work. I suppose they'd be the Punjabi equivalent of what "old money" in the West would refer to as the nouveau riche; old money passes its riches and wealth and titles down from generation to generation, whereas the aforementioned nouveau riche were almost "overnight" successes if we count overnight as one man's lifetime. That's something that causes resentment for some people, and from an old money vs nouveau riche perspective it's very much an issue of breeding and class than purely financial issues, whereby the saying goes, "You can buy a lot with money, but decorum / class is not one of those things."

It fascinates me all of it whether directly or (mostly) indirectly is a result of one's karmic earning.

Those who have old money are the ones who by simply of the virtue of their birth have landed in a gold mine. Their birth is itself the result of past good karmas. Whereas the ones who're born poor or middle class and earned it , well god blessed them with the "talent and courage to hardwork" to earn that fortune.

I am not discounting human fortitude and hardwork in their success, neither am I saying god would drop down something in ur lap if ur being a lazy assss.  But even fortitude and hardworking attitude is waheguru ji's kirpa.

But God's ways are indeed strange. I am reminded of the themes of verses in Quran Sharif here . "pray to allah , so he may guide you on the true path ". Gurbani also says "nothing is in humans hands. we can best pray"

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On 1/17/2019 at 11:29 AM, mahandulai said:

can be resolved easily , simple rewiring, other reasons I am thinking are present, not the p word

cmon doc

thank yu,

next

 

since you level of expertise in this is zip , I'll carry on advising them to slowly wean off the dopamine hits  by replacing them with other pursuits which are healthy and release endodorphins. You really are a ray of sunshine remind me to warn such people to NEVER talk to you

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On 9/14/2018 at 9:40 AM, jkvlondon said:

Some important points made by a counsellor  about parenting in the modern age and how to deal better with the insidious destruction of childhood by porn . Put lajja to one side and educate your kids before the kids get taught by school and porn.

 

What I want to know is how the hell does a father or uncle broach the subject of sex and attraction with a teenage girl? Because Panjabi moms seem useless at it from what I see. 

This is critical because that's when the groomers start making moves. Sometimes it seems like females don't understand other young female brains? 

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Guru gobind singh ji tells us how his father spoke to him about relations when he came of age, guru ji decided to share this with us in his bani

So we should take it as a hint and talk about this stuff with our kids. If our gurus did this over 300 years ago then why aren't we talking about it ...

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Just now, puzzled said:

Guru gobind singh ji tells us how his father spoke to him about relations when he came of age, guru ji decided to share this with us in his bani

So we should take it as a hint and talk about this stuff with our kids. If our gurus did this over 300 years ago then why aren't we talking about it ...

Top post. 

It's easy for a man to talk about these things with boys. I've done it with a bunch of young cousins and nephews.  It's girls (because of their potential vulnerability) that we need to crack. Older females (who girls look up to)  could open their mouths up a bit more maybe? 

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17 minutes ago, dallysingh101 said:

Top post. 

It's easy for a man to talk about these things with boys. I've done it with a bunch of young cousins and nephews.  It's girls (because of their potential vulnerability) that we need to crack. Older females (who girls look up to)  could open their mouths up a bit more maybe? 

I agree, men can't exactly talk about this stuff with daughters and sisters, it's the mothers that need to do that. And if girls are to scared to tell their mothers that they are getting raped/groomed then clearly mothers are not talking about this stuff with them. 

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1 hour ago, puzzled said:

Guru gobind singh ji tells us how his father spoke to him about relations when he came of age, guru ji decided to share this with us in his bani

So we should take it as a hint and talk about this stuff with our kids. If our gurus did this over 300 years ago then why aren't we talking about it ...

well considering this must of happened before Kashmiri Pandits came to visit so Gobind Rai would have been nine or ten Years old , so we really shouldn't be squeamish , I started broaching the subject with Isher Kaur when she was six as she had been groped by another child at school, why leave it to school teachers and schoolmates to tell our kids how to behave?

As for other women being too concerned with avoiding the subject as it supposedly sexualising and encouraging girls to go wrong , I can say they 100% wrong , if you approach it gently and put in context of what they want to know about/ age appropriate   also ensure that they know if anything is worrying them , is happening they can always back and tell you. Single Dads need to try to instil a sense of being loved and wanted in the daughters so they don't look outside the home for happiness , and give gurmat sikhia , examples of great sikh women to show how great a woman can be if they keep sikh values . If you get such ideas in kids' heads at a young age they keep them in mind later. It help easing the conversations

 

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On ‎1‎/‎19‎/‎2019 at 9:31 PM, jkvlondon said:

since you level of expertise in this is zip , I'll carry on advising them to slowly wean off the dopamine hits  by replacing them with other pursuits which are healthy and release endodorphins. You really are a ray of sunshine remind me to warn such people to NEVER talk to you

your method is chronic

mine is acute,

you telling them a chronic solution, is even more toxic.

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