toxic How to stop toxicity in your life

[Guest Inder]

I've just recently gotten into Sikhi, and need help dealing with a problem at home. I don't know what to do. My brother recently had his "gf" move into our home. She is not an apne, she is Muslim. She always makes rude remarks towards me, if I tell her to do one simple thing she will over exaggerate everything to my brother who will then yell at me, and sometimes even resort to violence. I barely talk now a days. She also steals my clothes and shoes, because she knows I can't do anything about it. I told my parents about it and they don't care. It just saddens me, and ever since she came I have been really angry and been getting attached to world things. I do my path every single day, and simran. What do I do? She is home 24/7 because no work or school.

[Guest Kaur 2]

VJKK VJKF

12 hours ago, Guest Inder said:

I've just recently gotten into Sikhi, and need help dealing with a problem at home. I don't know what to do. My brother recently had his "gf" move into our home. She is not an apne, she is Muslim. She always makes rude remarks towards me, if I tell her to do one simple thing she will over exaggerate everything to my brother who will then yell at me, and sometimes even resort to violence. I barely talk now a days. She also steals my clothes and shoes, because she knows I can't do anything about it. I told my parents about it and they don't care. It just saddens me, and ever since she came I have been really angry and been getting attached to world things. I do my path every single day, and simran. What do I do? She is home 24/7 because no work or school.

Thats so sad to hear... The truth is that you can only do so much about it; if anything. Now that he's married her he will always think that she is correct. I have had experience with this aswell and I know how it feels. Be respectful to her still and communicate at the minimum with her because you know what she is like and what she will say if you say anything to her. Stay humble. One day your brother will realise what he's done and he will regret it. Keep doing your paath and everything will be fine. Keep your faith in Vaheguru strong, have no doubts about Vaheguru in your heart. I know this sounds really typical but it works. I am dealing with something very similar to you so I am just sharing how I deal with the situation. I hope that this gets better soon and you don't have to deal with all this. 

VJKK VJKF

[Guest Kaur 2]

Sorry my mistake, I misread he hasn't married her yet has he?

[mahandulai]

On 9/15/2018 at 8:28 AM, Guest Inder said:

I've just recently gotten into Sikhi, and need help dealing with a problem at home. I don't know what to do. My brother recently had his "gf" move into our home. She is not an apne, she is Muslim. She always makes rude remarks towards me, if I tell her to do one simple thing she will over exaggerate everything to my brother who will then yell at me, and sometimes even resort to violence. I barely talk now a days. She also steals my clothes and shoes, because she knows I can't do anything about it. I told my parents about it and they don't care. It just saddens me, and ever since she came I have been really angry and been getting attached to world things. I do my path every single day, and simran. What do I do? She is home 24/7 because no work or school.

find out why? she probably has underlying issues, throw her off, be nice and nicer, be her friend, banter her back

remember not everyones after you bro.

If someone is in your life THAT MUCH, THEN FIND OUT WHAT HER GOOD QUALITIES ARE AND HELP EACH OTHER!!

[Guest Logical Sikh]

Dude..... Only Path and Simran not gonna do you any help..... 

Get up and do something abt it..... I think you should try what MAHANDULAI said abt "Banter her Back". 

Believe me ..... Its really fun to give them back the same thing ..... Humorously....

[jkvlondon]

Ok you are a female I guess since a girl would only steal a female's clothes . She is NOT a legit member of your family yet just a tagalong to your bro. You only need to be polite/civil for atmosphere however if she is bringing down the harmony in the family and making you miserable you have the right to clap back .

Get your mum to buy you replacements for the missing clothes when she asks why (desi parents are tight with money) you let her know what's been going on  . Guaranteed she's gonna ask for your clothes back from chorni . If Chorni doesn't comply , make sure your bro gets to know (through your Mum) . Put a lock on your room door so when you are not around she cannot rummage through and don't leave stuff lying around if it matters .

Unfortunately you cannot pick your family but you can look after number one better, don't be a soft touch , this is Waheguru sending a lesson to be tougher mentally and fight for your rights . Lean on Guru ji if you feel lonely and down BUT you need to fight your battles else you will be pushed aside by that piece of work and your position usurped. She has ZERO rights to interfere with your family relationships , stay in Chardikala.

[Guest 1kiloladdoo]

What is  a muslim non married girl doing in your house in the first place?Do your parents approve of this arrangement or are they too scared of your brother?

If anyone is physically violent towards you, I suggest you make a police report.That usually will shake up the individual enough to keep their hands to themselves.

If you have no 'heart' to go to the authorities since he's a family member you could try something else. You say the girl is Muslim.Unmarried.Cohabiting with your non-muslim brother I assume? Just like how you came to this Sikh forum for help, you could go to some Muslim online forum based in your country and spill the beans about this girl there.Give all necessary info to them.The more fanatic the members of that forum are,the better it would be for favorable results.They would be incensed that a muslim girl is committing 'khalwat' and 'zina' which are severely punishable according to Islam and that too with a non-muslim.I am not insinuating or encouraging anything.The best outcome should always be a non-violent one but that is not usually the case in reality.You decide what is best for you.I just want you to stay safe with peace of mind.Take care.