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Marrying someone who worships a guru


Guest Confused 101

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Guest Confused 101

Hello,

Many thanks in advance for reading this and helping. 

I need some advice as I don't have many people in my life who are in touch with Sikhi. I am a 27 year old and have been in a long distance relationship for almost seven years. The guy is genuine, caring and he has never had a girlfriend before. He isnt like other guys or lustful either. His intentions have always been good and we have never had any issues the last seven years like normal couples do (e.g. trust, other girls, jealousy etc) he is very down to earth and has supported me in my new jobs, at university finding books for me, when i was unwell finding me medicines etc. He has treated me like a family member. He is not like other guys and always treated me good consistently and never changed. His parents also know about me and I speak to the mum regularly. The family and the guy have very strong morals and are a good family. I am not very religious but I try to do my rehras path daily and sukhmani sahib on weekends and go gurudwara attend programmes etc. I want to get more in to Sikhi and i want that for my children too. I try to be a good person and think twice about what would God say if I did this or that. 

The only problem is he is Hindu and he follows some group (sahaj yoga). I found this out some months later when we got in to a relationship. i thought i could persuade him out of it or thought I could be comfortable. But deep down I am not comfortable with this. If it was a different religion that is a bit different but this is something else. 

Now from the last two years my worry has increased on this topic, we have discussed raising children and he wants them to be exposed to both. I am not comfortable for my future children to be exposed to this. I am really scared about when i die what will i say to God if I marry this person or God may say why did u raise children in this. I know that we get one life and experience so many joons to get this life, I am really scared about this. I am writing this with a heavy heart. I have also asked God to show me the right path. Last thing I want is to be stuck in to some cult and follow my hearts desires rather than what guru ji preaches to us. 

Can someone please help me (please dont judge me)? Thank you so much in advance.

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Guest puzzledtoo

Not judging just stating the cold hard facts but if you plan to marry a hindu then get ready to follow his ways and bring up your kids as hindus. The only other alternative is that you manage to convince him to adopt Sikhi completely but that seems unlikely since he's also involved with some yoga cult. Whatever promises made before marriage and the reality after marriage would be totally different with interfaith marriages especially if the male is not a Sikh. He, his family and his yoga cult would put pressure on you to forget Sikhi and adopt hinduism totally. I've seen it happen many times,and in your case most probably it will happen too.

There are thousands of Sikh guys who are genuine,caring and have never had girlfriends before so that is no justification for your decisions. You knew he was a hindu from the get go but you are only uncomfortable with him being part of a yoga cult. Looks like you have already made up your mind on marrying outside the religion and you are just here to look for acceptance and to remove this guilt from your conscience knowing very well what Sikhi says about marrying a non Sikh.There is nothing anyone here can say to help you in this situation as your mind is already set.Once you get into this you will be sucked in completely.No other advice is possible in this situation other than not marrying this hindu and try finding a Sikh partner.

And dont just worry what God will say about your children.You are conveniently leaving out 1 part.The Gurus also said a Sikh should only marry another Sikh.You should get your daughters married into a household where idol worship is not practised. Before he asks about your children he will surely ask you,why did you marry a hindu in the first place? You cant ignore this fundamental question that is the source of all your worries.For 7 years you were not worried and suddenly now you are uncomfortable because he is a cultist.Kind of hypocritical don't you think?

Your bf is not going to change,hinduism is his belief and nature. So it is up to you whether you want to preserve your Sikhi or pollute it with idol/idle worship.My apologies if I typed anything harsh here,I just want you to face the reality of your situation and not live in bollywood love lalaland. All the best.

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Guest Confused 101

Thanks so much everyone I write this with tears in my eyes, I really do appreciate your time with responding especially jkvlondon you wrote your response with a lot of care, the example you gave in your response in the first paragraph really put things in perspective. This is exactly what I am scared of. To be honest - deep down I was not comfortable from day one but hoped things would change. I now know what I need to do. I don't want to risk falling in to a trap because as some of you have said we only get this life once. I don't think I could face God when I die when asked about all this. I dont want to say I did this because its what my heart wanted because that is against Sikhi being a manmukh. Thanks so much all again. 

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sikhi and guru ji or your hindu boyfriend, it's your choice. If you have read ithias then you will know in the past during the Islamic invasions sikh women even sacrificed their babies for sikhi. They had their babies limbs put around their necks but they still remained faithful to their guru.  Are you willing to give up your relationship with him for guru ji ? 

Your family have been sikhs for centuries do you really want to break that line and raise confused hindu/sikh/cultist kids 

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12 hours ago, jkvlondon said:

Guru ji gave faisla on this

Guru Har Gobind ji was travelling on horseback with his sikhs  when they happened upon a snake in the road , they stopped and as they drew closer the sikhs noticed that there was a teeming swarm of ants attacking the snake ripping it to shreds whilst alive . One SIngh says Maharaj this snake is suffering so much can you not put it out of it misery ? to which Guru ji replied , this snake was once a Man who portrayed himself a guru and misled thousands of souls who are the ants you see . This is the karam of the fake Guru he drowned himself in Maya and also allowed his followers to fail also . A person can only reached where his Guru ji shows the path.

Sakhis like that keep me checked and in place lol    makes me think twice before doing or saying something stupid

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1 hour ago, jkvlondon said:

nah you will 'adjust' to her ...of your own accord of course 😀

Lol I'm VERY stubborn haha   even my mum gives up trying to convince me or change my mind coz she knows once I say no it will be a definite no  haha 

Whenever I have fallen out with someone they have always been the first to come up to me after the fall out     this has particularly always annoyed my female friends haha 

Don't know how my wife would deal with this   maybe I will change   lol I don't know.

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1 hour ago, puzzled said:

Lol I'm VERY stubborn haha   even my mum gives up trying to convince me or change my mind coz she knows once I say no it will be a definite no  haha 

Whenever I have fallen out with someone they have always been the first to come up to me after the fall out     this has particularly always annoyed my female friends haha 

Don't know how my wife would deal with this   maybe I will change   lol I don't know.

every Mum knows the wife is able to mindbend + ...that's why there can be a power struggle between the two females

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On 9/25/2018 at 9:44 AM, Guest Confused 101 said:

Hello,

Many thanks in advance for reading this and helping. 

I need some advice as I don't have many people in my life who are in touch with Sikhi. I am a 27 year old and have been in a long distance relationship for almost seven years. The guy is genuine, caring and he has never had a girlfriend before. He isnt like other guys or lustful either. His intentions have always been good and we have never had any issues the last seven years like normal couples do (e.g. trust, other girls, jealousy etc) he is very down to earth and has supported me in my new jobs, at university finding books for me, when i was unwell finding me medicines etc. He has treated me like a family member. He is not like other guys and always treated me good consistently and never changed. His parents also know about me and I speak to the mum regularly. The family and the guy have very strong morals and are a good family. I am not very religious but I try to do my rehras path daily and sukhmani sahib on weekends and go gurudwara attend programmes etc. I want to get more in to Sikhi and i want that for my children too. I try to be a good person and think twice about what would God say if I did this or that. 

The only problem is he is Hindu and he follows some group (sahaj yoga). I found this out some months later when we got in to a relationship. i thought i could persuade him out of it or thought I could be comfortable. But deep down I am not comfortable with this. If it was a different religion that is a bit different but this is something else. 

Now from the last two years my worry has increased on this topic, we have discussed raising children and he wants them to be exposed to both. I am not comfortable for my future children to be exposed to this. I am really scared about when i die what will i say to God if I marry this person or God may say why did u raise children in this. I know that we get one life and experience so many joons to get this life, I am really scared about this. I am writing this with a heavy heart. I have also asked God to show me the right path. Last thing I want is to be stuck in to some cult and follow my hearts desires rather than what guru ji preaches to us. 

Can someone please help me (please dont judge me)? Thank you so much in advance.

well find out why this guy follows this guru so much, maybe go to one of the events, then you will know for sure, and make a decision, if it is just a really good helpful guy, this guru, or if it is a sham, and then you need to tell him this, either way.

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20 hours ago, jkvlondon said:

every Mum knows the wife is able to mindbend + ...that's why there can be a power struggle between the two females

Yeah that tug of war between the wife and mother with the husband being the poor rope   lol!

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Guest No hindu no muslim
On 9/27/2018 at 11:38 AM, jkvlondon said:

Guru ji gave faisla on this

Guru Har Gobind ji was travelling on horseback with his sikhs  when they happened upon a snake in the road , they stopped and as they drew closer the sikhs noticed that there was a teeming swarm of ants attacking the snake ripping it to shreds whilst alive . One SIngh says Maharaj this snake is suffering so much can you not put it out of it misery ? to which Guru ji replied , this snake was once a Man who portrayed himself a guru and misled thousands of souls who are the ants you see . This is the karam of the fake Guru he drowned himself in Maya and also allowed his followers to fail also . A person can only reached where his Guru ji shows the path.

Why my dear would you leave the Charan of Jagat Guru Granth Sahib ji who shows you the way to Sach khand and Akal Purakh for one who will trap you in lakh chaurasi joon ? If you think that is worth it, think of the thousands of years of suffering you had to travel to get to this beautiful chance of achieving your mission and the thousands more lifetimes  you will be trapped in being exploited , crushed underfoot, hunted , tortured etc before reaching it again. This guy no doubt is a good person, but there are many good people on the planet you wouldn't marry them all.
You say you're are uncomfortable with his belief system , take that as a BIG flag , if you don't want to compromise your children's future then you know what your path is , you have to break up now and not string the guy along . I'm sure your folks do not know what is going on , and would also tell you that it is not right for you if they did . You maybe are unaware how low status other faith's women are and are treated compared to sikhi  , that's why sikhs are supposed to get married where sikhi is practised so their children don't get trapped into slave mentality again . Guru ji loves us all and wants the best for us , that's why he warns us against such relationships ...

Don't forget that Sikhi isn't a religion as per Guru Nanak Dev Jis teaching, there's only One

 There's no religion to convert to, only practicing of the Truth 

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