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How to keep a future nooh under control who thinks she's some kinda princess but is infact poor af ?


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5 hours ago, AjeetSinghPunjabi said:

Did you even read the full post before posting as a soft feminist ?

We're being treated as if we're not "munde waale" . Anyways we are all for equality and its ok if we're not treated as "munde waale" . However who gave them the right to treat themselves as "munde waale" . . However how do you justify the cold treatment her parents have directed at me and my parents. Also her parents never called me "beta" while my mom never had paap in her mind and she always speaks with love to my fiance and call her beta 

And I am gunda ?? please ! 

Just because the title of this thread is a little too bold, don't accuse me of being a gunda dominant husband. Infact , I desired to be like a son to her parents because her brothers always ill treat her parents . But seeing their stupid behaviors, I feel disinterested in pursuing a warm relation with her parents. 

 

I am also taking a little loan for my marriage. So please ! request you to don't assume. Apparently you don't find anything wrong with her behaviors ! 

my mum and dad only called my husband beta after we had engagement in front of Guru ji , so it's no biggie and frankly think if you have been acting in a way that makes them feel less than calm, friendly and relaxed ? Just because they are poor it doesn't mean you are some kind of special person thus the disrespect they are due to be your parents too, the English have a phrase 'There but for the Grace of God, go I' which is very apt here , it just takes a small thing to reduce kings into beggars just go talk to Aurangzeb's waaris .and vice versa .

Frankly if you cannot keep sikh attitude of treating all parents in this relationship equally respected then I can understand why the in-laws have fears for the future. You want to be the big boss and yet gripe like a child about everything , it's simple marry the girl simply in front of Guru ji if you are truly sincere . If not , don't mess her and her folks about . Marriage is not a business transaction , sikhs don't sell or buy their children . Yes she sounds like an unwilling bride, but sorry to say so do you ; are so sure you are not projecting you own attitude onto to her ?

So what if you are munde waale , I have three sons and I would never behave as if that makes me something special . The girl and Boy have their own karams and their own joint life , which they need to be grown up enough to take responsibility for . The only worry I have is that they have sikhi as their cornerstone in their lives every thing else  comes with work from their own elbow.

You have a weird fantasy life where your wife is supposed to exist in a bubble of your making , isolated from her parents, siblings and friends , not complain, just be infintely compliant to your every whim . The way you describe it , is like the gunde hubby from a serial who browbeats his long suffering wife at every turn. You don't want a wife you want a maid/beard and you feel your behaviour is justified - it really is not . If you want love and respect , try sending it out to them first.

 

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5 hours ago, AjeetSinghPunjabi said:

So this girl I am getting married by end of this year , I have already said in previous threads that she sometimes betray some kinda condescending attitude .

My mom is very joyous of my marriage , and my parents are debt ridden on buying her gold when infact her lazy parents aren't doing anything at all. We were surprised to know that my fiance asked her parents to not even give her earrings in marriage . What kind of retarded person does such "bad-shagne"(bad omen) things ? I don't get it . There's a saying in punjabi "meri dhee kano bujhi ni jaaegi" (my daughter will not go without earrings in her ears ) . I don't know what kind of woman she is that wanna come her saure with no gold in her ears and what kind of parents that have agreed to do this to her.

Anyways , they're poor af and are illiterate villagers . So we always excused their nonsense primitive behavior . We always focused on the girl because she's gonna come in our house. 

My mom has never done typical mother-in-law rude behavior to her , but my future-wife always has reservations , as if we're waiting to pounce on her with discrimination and second class behavior. Despite showing her golden bangles , and golden haar we're gonna get for her, her parents never agreed to give me even a golden kada and we're ok with it , but on top of that this ***** thinks she's <banned word filter activated> .

The only reason I am marrying her is because I wasn't getting rishta elsewhere for god-knows-what reason. 

Also apparently she always keep singing "bebe baapu" and glorifying her parents, now thats ok but you don't have to do it 24 7 on watsapp status. I feel its directed at me , to prepare me a submissive son-in-law for future. My foot ! 

Her father has never called me "beta" once and neither has her mother. My mom always call her "beta".  Rather when her dad asks "how is everything?" and I reply "good" , her father says "it should be good only" . as if we're trying to pounce one her with discrimination and zulm once she's here. My parents never had the "we're from the boys side" attitude that punjabi ceremonies usually have, rather ironicaly its her parents and her who display such behavior. 

How do I keep her under control and in my fear once I am married ? I am totally loosing cool with her  and her idiotic parents and my parents share this sentiment too. 

You don't even like the girl so why on earth are you marrying her? You need a serious reality check. 

Also, as a female, if any man ever wanted to 'keep me under control' in marriage, there is no way on God's green earth I would marry him. 

Your post completely confounds me.. As a brit punjabi who has distanced herself from the rubbish aspects of brown culture, I need to inform you that your it is utterly ridiculous.

Stop being such a Brown Sexist materialist. 

 

 

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1 hour ago, RajKaregaKhalsa1 said:

Veer ji,

There is no need to call her parents idiotic or to get angry that'll just make things worse - sorry that sentence probs made you angry lol sorry.

Also ask Guru Sahib via an Ardas an Hukamnama. I am not saying anything ride but ask Guru ji if this Rishta is meant to be. Don't go away from this post and just quit the relationship. Maybe have a conversation with her maybe that's all she needs.

Guruis Antarjami the inner Knower, searcher of our hearts and he knows what is best for us. On this forum we can give help but Guru can give you the best advice

You are adorable :)

Not sure how old you are but keep being a good soul

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6 hours ago, AjeetSinghPunjabi said:

"beta".  Rather when her dad asks "how is everything?" and I reply "good" , her father says "it should be good only" . as if we're trying to pounce one her with discrimination and zulm once she's here.

Show her this song (or put as your whatsapp status or bhatever the naujawani does these days), and say ਤੈਨੂੰ ਤਾਂ ਰੰਗ ਭਾਗ ਲੱਗੇ ਆਹ ਕੁੜੀਏ! She should get the message.

 

 

 

Absolutely epic classic Punjabi song btw.

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1 hour ago, MisterrSingh said:

Ajeet's going full Cersei Lannister in his Game of Kursiyan, lol. Fair play to him. Just don't take it too far!

I won't take it far , because I know having elderly parents its gonna boomerang back at me . Kal klesh at home only ruins family , nothing productive.

I am seriously wondering about the nature of this girl ! My family is going through a tough financial times. And even I myself will be taking a bit of loan to support my own marriage , a loan for which I will paying back for atleast 2 yrs ! 

Meanwhile, the girls family and her lazyasss parents are doing ZILCH ! the girl told her parents not to even give her a bit of gold for her ears. So much of "tyaag" nature for her parents lol . And when my dad told her day before yesterday that we're not thinking of doing earrings for her , it seemed she took it as an insult or affront and she did what she usually does : cheap play ! Find some random quote on sharechat that remote resembles her "plight" with us and put it as her watsapp status . 

I as usual out of concern asked "who taunted u as such" and then she out of her cheap games "someone my own" . I wondered who that someone was . I felt it must be ofcourse my parents only , but I didn't express it to her and my way of asking sounded more of concern to which she replied "I will tell you ji when the right time comes. What is there to hide from you". Anyways when i confronted her over the phone , she said "its nothing". What do you make out of it ? running away in the corner when u don't have the guts to speak ur mind out and act out your chaudhar. 

I wanted to test waters further and uploaded a pic of me and my mom as watsapp status . For some really strange reason , she too put a pic of her with her parents . I have noticed she always feel like doing whatver I am doing just for the heck of it. So I uploaded a status saying "some ppl put status just to imitate" and she asked "what is this" . (Notice me and her tone of asking). Then she put 2 -3 more statuses b*tching how "ppl throw her emotions after utilizing her" , "I hate fake ppl , fake relationships" and such kinda third grader crapp ! I too replied back "what is this" , "what is this" to all of those. she remained silent. Finally my mom confronted her . She didn't call again whole day. So much of arrogance I guess. 

And ppl will still say I am wicked and she's a saint coz gender ! 

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1 hour ago, AjeetSinghPunjabi said:

I won't take it far , because I know having elderly parents its gonna boomerang back at me . Kal klesh at home only ruins family , nothing productive.

I am seriously wondering about the nature of this girl ! My family is going through a tough financial times. And even I myself will be taking a bit of loan to support my own marriage , a loan for which I will paying back for atleast 2 yrs ! 

Meanwhile, the girls family and her lazyasss parents are doing ZILCH ! the girl told her parents not to even give her a bit of gold for her ears. So much of "tyaag" nature for her parents lol . And when my dad told her day before yesterday that we're not thinking of doing earrings for her , it seemed she took it as an insult or affront and she did what she usually does : cheap play ! Find some random quote on sharechat that remote resembles her "plight" with us and put it as her watsapp status . 

I as usual out of concern asked "who taunted u as such" and then she out of her cheap games "someone my own" . I wondered who that someone was . I felt it must be ofcourse my parents only , but I didn't express it to her and my way of asking sounded more of concern to which she replied "I will tell you ji when the right time comes. What is there to hide from you". Anyways when i confronted her over the phone , she said "its nothing". What do you make out of it ? running away in the corner when u don't have the guts to speak ur mind out and act out your chaudhar. 

I wanted to test waters further and uploaded a pic of me and my mom as watsapp status . For some really strange reason , she too put a pic of her with her parents . I have noticed she always feel like doing whatver I am doing just for the heck of it. So I uploaded a status saying "some ppl put status just to imitate" and she asked "what is this" . (Notice me and her tone of asking). Then she put 2 -3 more statuses b*tching how "ppl throw her emotions after utilizing her" , "I hate fake ppl , fake relationships" and such kinda third grader crapp ! I too replied back "what is this" , "what is this" to all of those. she remained silent. Finally my mom confronted her . She didn't call again whole day. So much of arrogance I guess. 

And ppl will still say I am wicked and she's a saint coz gender ! 

No you aint no saint because you outed your own laundry to all and sundry here , then act like a modern re-writing of sau din saas ke (yes you act like the buddi)  and yes I have said she is probably not happy to marry you  so in that you share a similar platform . You live in India so you know what ground reality is , No one is straightforward anymore (you being a prime example) I cannot comment on her much because we only get your coloured account . If she came on here and spoke up maybe  ...You BOTH go online to b1tch about your lives to essentially strangers  , how about actually being real and doing it IRL to her, your future in -laws and your folks ? What's the worst that could happen -you don't get married .

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Guest puzzledtoo

No point getting in debt for a marriage that most probably won't last long.Looks like there is no love or intention to get married to lead a Gursikh lifestyle by either parties.Use that loan money to upgrade your family's financial situation.Maybe start up a business?You will be in a much better and stronger position if you are financially stable.If you haven't taken the loan,forget it.

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