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Will Rabh Ji forgive me for my sins?

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Guest Guest540

I got married to a sikh man. But I was not happy woth this marriage. I was in love with someone else, and I still am. I also cheated on my “husband” with someone else. Also before the marriage and after marriage. I dont want to make my family unhappy. I would sacrifice my own happiness for my family. Thats what I am doing now. Is it a sin to stay with my husband even if i am unhappy? And will Rabh ji forgive me if I always pray and do bhaani? And also if I become a true sikh and do amrit ? Also I will stay with my husband but I will be really unhappy. Will Rabh forgive me? And how do I know? 

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Guest s333

Stop sleeping with the other guy you may see him or text him if you love him but at least restrict the physical contact of any form. Text or see him under very strict condition that you will not be found out about, eg maybe give him a code name of a girl's name. Occasional bi-yearly contact with him, as a brother, should keep your love in check.

If your husband is a good guy keep him happy. Do twice of what you do with the other guy with him physically and I think then you will be forgiven. Bhul Chuk Maaf.  Fall in love with your husband too it is possible. Infact you should love everyone and ultimately Love God.

If you decide to become Amrit dhari automatically your sins will be forgiven if have not taken amrit before I think but otherwise you have to tell them if you took amrit before.  If this advice does not do good feel right on reading or after doing for a short while free to go to panj pyare and ask them of what to do as they will give the best absolute truth advice.

I dont think reading bani is the correct step to aid this step it may act as a help but it cant make progress rather only help or multiply any steps of progress you make, steps to progress would be to only look at others of opposite sex as either son, brother, father, or husband nothing else. 

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On 10/21/2018 at 5:30 PM, Guest Guest540 said:

I got married to a sikh man. But I was not happy woth this marriage. I was in love with someone else, and I still am. I also cheated on my “husband” with someone else. Also before the marriage and after marriage. I dont want to make my family unhappy. I would sacrifice my own happiness for my family. Thats what I am doing now. Is it a sin to stay with my husband even if i am unhappy? And will Rabh ji forgive me if I always pray and do bhaani? And also if I become a true sikh and do amrit ? Also I will stay with my husband but I will be really unhappy. Will Rabh forgive me? And how do I know? 

why do you keep posting the same story and expect people to say yeah it's OK carry on. YOU sinned against Guru ji and your Husband with your cousin . Accept that fact and work on your marriage , tell your folks the situation and tell the guy that your family knows and he is no longer wanted or needed.

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Guest Guest540
3 hours ago, jkvlondon said:

why do you keep posting the same story and expect people to say yeah it's OK carry on. YOU sinned against Guru ji and your Husband with your cousin . Accept that fact and work on your marriage , tell your folks the situation and tell the guy that your family knows and he is no longer wanted or needed.

I just want to know that: is it okay to stay with my husband even if i will not be happy? and eventually get more depressed. because i already am very sick because of this. i cry all day, i have depression, i dont eat, i cant sleep. So what do you think will happen if i stay with him? I will get even more sick. Should i still stay with him? Also as a punishment? Should i punish myself ? 

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On 10/23/2018 at 10:21 PM, Guest Guest540 said:

I just want to know that: is it okay to stay with my husband even if i will not be happy? and eventually get more depressed. because i already am very sick because of this. i cry all day, i have depression, i dont eat, i cant sleep. So what do you think will happen if i stay with him? I will get even more sick. Should i still stay with him? Also as a punishment? Should i punish myself ? 

you are married to this innocent man in front of Waheguru and the world , grow up, stop complaining and have some sharam hiaya and actually be a wife to him . FRankly I feel more sympathy for him than you because you are the one who is stirring poison into your married life . Your cousin knows he can never be with you and yet he is scummy enough to bed you and use you . HE IS NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU .

People like that don't deserve the time of day and yet you are stupid enough to keep going on and on about him . Stay with your husband and be true to him if that is possible in mind and deed , he deserves a good partner , challenge yourself to become that . You are NOT going to die , just pull up your big girl pants and get on with making your married life happy . You are in charge of your responses to anything , your husband is not going to be responsible for that. You are sick because your jameer is punishing you for the wrong you know you have done deep down .

Whether you stay or go your parents have to de told what you did ... as their honour will be tainted by your bad choices too

Edited by jkvlondon

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Guest Guest333
3 hours ago, jkvlondon said:

you are married to this innocent man in front of Waheguru and the world , grow up, stop complaining and have some sharam hiaya and actually be a wife to him . FRankly I feel more sympathy for him than you because you are the one who is stirring poison into your married life . Your cousin knows he can never be with you and yet he is scummy enough to bed you and use you . HE IS NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU .

People like that don't deserve the time of day and yet you are stupid enough to keep going on and on about him . Stay with your husband and be true to him if that is possible in mind and deed , he deserves a good partner , challenge yourself to become that . You are NOT going to die , just pull up your big girl pants and get on with making your married life happy . You are in charge of your responses to anything , your husband is not going to be responsible for that. You are sick because your jameer is punishing you for the wrong you know you have done deep down .

Whether you stay or go your parents have to de told what you did ... as their honour will be tainted by your bad choices too

I do have sharm for the sins i did. I did this marriage because i was afraid of my dad. He cheated on my mom and has a child now. Also he always hits my mom and yells at her. He said get her married.

But no one can understand that.

Yeah okay i will stay with him, but will that make it any better? Nor will i be happy and he wont also. But okay fine if thats what the world wants.

And how do you know that its very easy for me? I am suffering a lot every day, i cant sleep anymore, i dont eat, i cry everyday. Staying with him wont make it any better, but okay .

Thanks anyways, i know you are right. But circumstances also matter. I only married because my father had me under pressure.

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Guest Guest333
3 hours ago, jkvlondon said:

you are married to this innocent man in front of Waheguru and the world , grow up, stop complaining and have some sharam hiaya and actually be a wife to him . FRankly I feel more sympathy for him than you because you are the one who is stirring poison into your married life . Your cousin knows he can never be with you and yet he is scummy enough to bed you and use you . HE IS NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU .

People like that don't deserve the time of day and yet you are stupid enough to keep going on and on about him . Stay with your husband and be true to him if that is possible in mind and deed , he deserves a good partner , challenge yourself to become that . You are NOT going to die , just pull up your big girl pants and get on with making your married life happy . You are in charge of your responses to anything , your husband is not going to be responsible for that. You are sick because your jameer is punishing you for the wrong you know you have done deep down .

Whether you stay or go your parents have to de told what you did ... as their honour will be tainted by your bad choices too

I do have sharm for the sins i did. I did this marriage because i was afraid of my dad. He cheated on my mom and has a child now. Also he always hits my mom and yells at her. He said get her married.

But no one can understand that.

Yeah okay i will stay with him, but will that make it any better? Nor will i be happy and he wont also. But okay fine if thats what the world wants.

And how do you know that its very easy for me? I am suffering a lot every day, i cant sleep anymore, i dont eat, i cry everyday. Staying with him wont make it any better, but okay .

Thanks anyways, i know you are right. But circumstances also matter. I only married because my father had me under pressure.

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17 hours ago, Guest Guest333 said:

I do have sharm for the sins i did. I did this marriage because i was afraid of my dad. He cheated on my mom and has a child now. Also he always hits my mom and yells at her. He said get her married.

But no one can understand that.

Yeah okay i will stay with him, but will that make it any better? Nor will i be happy and he wont also. But okay fine if thats what the world wants.

And how do you know that its very easy for me? I am suffering a lot every day, i cant sleep anymore, i dont eat, i cry everyday. Staying with him wont make it any better, but okay .

Thanks anyways, i know you are right. But circumstances also matter. I only married because my father had me under pressure.

if you knew your own family's pain through your Dad's misdeeds why would you copy him?  Why would you have an affair with a family member if you are scared of your Dad?

You can choose to see things in a positive or negative way , of course if you choose to be negative guess what, everything will be headed that way  and the other way around if you look at life in a positive way then things will become better , it's called a self-fufilling prophecy .

I am guessing that your husband is not like your Dad and treats you decently since you have never mentioned mistreatment by him. You have seen how bad things can get , being beaten by your spouse is not normal or acceptable , being terrified of your life partner is soul-destroying . Just because you don't have such evil drama in your marriage  doesn't mean that there is something missing or wrong, you may be used to the adrenalin pumping day and night but that doesn't have to be your future so stop playing with fire with your cousin (BTW he has basically groomed you to be his plaything knowing what is not allowed in sikh families).

Having heard a bit more about your background I can see how you fell for your cousin and I still feel that he was a scumbag to do it.

Waheguru ji doesn't make mistakes , we do . Time to face facts and make your life better, because you want it to be better. It doesn't matter how you got to be married just how you will carry on in your life from now . Try to draw closer to your husband and build a good relationship , you deserve it .

 

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Guest Guest333
4 minutes ago, jkvlondon said:

if you knew your own family's pain through your Dad's misdeeds why would you copy him?  Why would you have an affair with a family member if you are scared of your Dad?

You can choose to see things in a positive or negative way , of course if you choose to be negative guess what, everything will be headed that way  and the other way around if you look at life in a positive way then things will become better , it's called a self-fufilling prophecy .

I am guessing that your husband is not like your Dad and treats you decently since you have never mentioned mistreatment by him. You have seen how bad things can get , being beaten by your spouse is not normal or acceptable , being terrified of your life partner is soul-destroying . Just because you don't have such evil drama in your marriage  doesn't mean that there is something missing or wrong, you may be used to the adrenalin pumping day and night but that doesn't have to be your future so stop playing with fire with your cousin (BTW he has basically groomed you to be his plaything knowing what is not allowed in sikh families).

Having heard a bit more about your background I can see how you fell for your cousin and I still feel that he was a scumbag to do it.

Waheguru ji doesn't make mistakes , we do . Time to face facts and make your life better, because you want it to be better. It doesn't matter how you got to be married just how you will carry on in your life from now . Try to draw closer to your husband and build a good relationship , you deserve it .

 

Okay thanks i will try. But just one question, what if i dont make it to love him? And i stay forever a empty soulless person? Is that okay then? If i am unhappy? Which means i will force myself to do anything with him. Is that correct then? 

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On 10/21/2018 at 5:30 PM, Guest Guest540 said:

I got married to a sikh man. But I was not happy woth this marriage. I was in love with someone else, and I still am. I also cheated on my “husband” with someone else. Also before the marriage and after marriage. I dont want to make my family unhappy. I would sacrifice my own happiness for my family. Thats what I am doing now. Is it a sin to stay with my husband even if i am unhappy? And will Rabh ji forgive me if I always pray and do bhaani? And also if I become a true sikh and do amrit ? Also I will stay with my husband but I will be really unhappy. Will Rabh forgive me? And how do I know? 

sounds like a personal issue,

@jkvlondon care to advise?

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On 10/26/2018 at 11:22 AM, Guest Guest333 said:

Okay thanks i will try. But just one question, what if i dont make it to love him? And i stay forever a empty soulless person? Is that okay then? If i am unhappy? Which means i will force myself to do anything with him. Is that correct then? 

human love comes in many forms , it is not just lustful feelings , you can learn to be his friend, support , someone who cheers him on in life, work together to become better people , better sikhs in other words ACCEPT him just as he accepts you . He has chosen you to share his life with , that kind of honour and trust  should be grasped and appreciated (it's taking a huge gamble on you). Give him the same chance , you never know he may surprise you and find his way into your soul ... remember to lean on Waheguru ji when you are feeling in a dark mood , all bad things will come to an end . No one is ever alone Waheguru ji is always Ang sang .

As English like to say 'it's always darkest before the dawn'... Stay in Chardikala

Edited by jkvlondon

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Guest guest

You are only talking about yourself.  You are not talking about your husband.  Don't you think he has feelings?

You have to tell him the truth.  Then you can see if even he wants to stay with you or not.  

What do you plan to do?  Just divorce him and leave him wondering what he did wrong?

If you cared so much about your family you would not have indulged in such immoral behaviour in the first place.

You sound like a horrible person.

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