Jump to content

I was married already 2 times, is it wrong what i am doing?


Guest SinghGuest34
 Share

Recommended Posts

Guest SinghGuest34

I am a sikh girl and i was married already 2 times. I couldnt stay with my first husband because he abused me and hit me. He was very violent. As you folks know, when someone was already married once, its hard to find a good husband the second time. So i got another time a husband who abused me and also drank much alcohol. I couldnt stay in that family, it was very hard, i got hit every day. Also both didnt loved me. So i am divorced and that too also 2 times already. What do you think? Should i have stayed with him even if they were abusive? Because in sikhi you can marry only once right? Or was it the right thing i did? 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Guest SinghGuest34 said:

I am a sikh girl and i was married already 2 times. I couldnt stay with my first husband because he abused me and hit me. He was very violent. As you folks know, when someone was already married once, its hard to find a good husband the second time. So i got another time a husband who abused me and also drank much alcohol. I couldnt stay in that family, it was very hard, i got hit every day. Also both didnt loved me. So i am divorced and that too also 2 times already. What do you think? Should i have stayed with him even if they were abusive? Because in sikhi you can marry only once right? Or was it the right thing i did? 

Dear sister, my only suggestion would be to focus on "What is the root cause?". Maybe you should try to focus on the religion aspect of the lifestyle where social evils such as alcohol are strictly forbidden. If you learn more deeply about sikh dharam then you would find a partner of same thinking/ideology. That would be my suggestion.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, Guest SinghGuest34 said:

I am a sikh girl and i was married already 2 times. I couldnt stay with my first husband because he abused me and hit me. He was very violent. As you folks know, when someone was already married once, its hard to find a good husband the second time. So i got another time a husband who abused me and also drank much alcohol. I couldnt stay in that family, it was very hard, i got hit every day. Also both didnt loved me. So i am divorced and that too also 2 times already. What do you think? Should i have stayed with him even if they were abusive? Because in sikhi you can marry only once right? Or was it the right thing i did? 

vjkkvjkf! I am very sorry for what has happened to you, always keeping you in my ardas sister.
Firstly, I agree with S1ngh that it is not right to look for a partner who is not into sikhi - go for a gurmukh. Firstly, find happiness within your own self and focus on your Sikhi, start doing nitnem, ardas and amritvela every day. Then you can start looking for someone who is like you and also does nitnem, and has pakka amritvela. Most likely, that person will be a gurmukh and will follow guru sahib. If you are going for outer appearance then you will never be happy because one day your partner will be old and frail and you will no longer be attracted to him because of his looks. But if you go for his heart and fall in love with him, then no matter how he will look on the outside, his heart will always stay the same.

There are many gurmukhs who don't care about how many divorces you have had, or what your past is, they only care about the future and how you will better their gursikhi jeevan. In Guru Sahib's times, most singhs used to get married to the girls they would rescue (after the girls had taken amrit and become singhnia of course). These girls would be abused and worse by mughals and hindus but the khalsa doesn't care for the past.

Always do ardas before committing to anyone. Talk to a respected elder gursikh wherever you live and im sure they will help you find a gurmukh singh who treats you right and will help you in sikhi as well as gristi.

here read this article which highlights what qualities a gurmukh husband should have:

http://www.gurmatbibek.com/contents.php?id=67

VJKKVJKF! Good luck penji

Link to comment
Share on other sites

you didn't marry sikhs but punjabis, sikhs dont take intoxicants like alcohol. you should marry a man for his sikhi, marry into a house where there is sikhi, a man who can inspire his kids to become good sikhs. 

in todays age people look at money,property, reputation, appearance when getting married or finding a husband for their daughters, they don't look to see if sikhi exists in him and his house. 

for now i think you should focus on your own sikhi 

im sorry to hear about your situation, i think you did the right thing, iv never been married so have no experience, sorry if i offended anyone ...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 hours ago, Guest SinghGuest34 said:

I am a sikh girl and i was married already 2 times. I couldnt stay with my first husband because he abused me and hit me. He was very violent. As you folks know, when someone was already married once, its hard to find a good husband the second time. So i got another time a husband who abused me and also drank much alcohol. I couldnt stay in that family, it was very hard, i got hit every day. Also both didnt loved me. So i am divorced and that too also 2 times already. What do you think? Should i have stayed with him even if they were abusive? Because in sikhi you can marry only once right? Or was it the right thing i did? 

Did you have any kids with them? It can make a big difference. 

More puzzling than that is why you are choosing abusive partners repeatedly? 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

See? I didn't read anyone's comments and I can imagine the replies "Go for a Sikh guy." "Find a Nitnemi dude..." Yes do go for someone who don't consume alc. During meetings BEFORE marriage put forward your demands that sumone who don't touch alc and wha they can do for you in a relationship. OH! N you'll find plenty of kind hearted, gentlemen moneh/ atheist... Equally you'll find plenty of krodhi, abusive n tight arsed Amritdharis.

If you truly are a Sikh then make sure the guy don't even touch alc and has Sikhi ideologies. Whomever it may be.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

59 minutes ago, Singh1989 said:

See? I didn't read anyone's comments and I can imagine the replies "Go for a Sikh guy." "Find a Nitnemi dude..." Yes do go for someone who don't consume alc. During meetings BEFORE marriage put forward your demands that sumone who don't touch alc and wha they can do for you in a relationship. OH! N you'll find plenty of kind hearted, gentlemen moneh/ atheist... Equally you'll find plenty of krodhi, abusive n tight arsed Amritdharis.

If you truly are a Sikh then make sure the guy don't even touch alc and has Sikhi ideologies. Whomever it may be.

What's wrong with people saying find a nitnemi sikh ?

Before anything else she should concentrate on herself and her sikhi. Deep down she would know what's best for her 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sister, I don’t think you are doing anything wrong.  It’s just our Karams of this life and our past lives.  As much as people think we choose our partners, we actually don’t.  We end up marrying whoever we are meant to marry.  Forget about the past and focus on the present.  Ask maharaj for help and focus on yourself and your spiritual journey.  Don’t be in a rush to get into another relationship.  The advice to marry a Gursikh is great, but the reality is that many people look like Gursikh but they actually aren’t.  Leave it in gods hand to resolve your issue.  We reap what we sow.  So focus on sowing good deeds. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 12/2/2018 at 7:22 AM, Guest SinghGuest34 said:

I am a sikh girl and i was married already 2 times. I couldnt stay with my first husband because he abused me and hit me. He was very violent. As you folks know, when someone was already married once, its hard to find a good husband the second time. So i got another time a husband who abused me and also drank much alcohol. I couldnt stay in that family, it was very hard, i got hit every day. Also both didnt loved me. So i am divorced and that too also 2 times already. What do you think? Should i have stayed with him even if they were abusive? Because in sikhi you can marry only once right? Or was it the right thing i did? 

DELETED.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share

  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt


  • Topics

  • Posts

    • yeh it's true, we shouldn't be lazy and need to learn jhatka shikaar. It doesn't help some of grew up in surrounding areas like Slough and Southall where everyone thought it was super bad for amrit dharis to eat meat, and they were following Sant babas and jathas, and instead the Singhs should have been normalising jhatka just like the recent world war soldiers did. We are trying to rectifiy this and khalsa should learn jhatka.  But I am just writing about bhog for those that are still learning rehit. As I explained, there are all these negative influences in the panth that talk against rehit, but this shouldn't deter us from taking khanda pahul, no matter what level of rehit we are!
    • How is it going to help? The link is of a Sikh hunter. Fine, but what good does that do the lazy Sikh who ate khulla maas in a restaurant? By the way, for the OP, yes, it's against rehit to eat khulla maas.
    • Yeah, Sikhs should do bhog of food they eat. But the point of bhog is to only do bhog of food which is fit to be presented to Maharaj. It's not maryada to do bhog of khulla maas and pretend it's OK to eat. It's not. Come on, bro, you should know better than to bring this Sakhi into it. Is this Sikh in the restaurant accompanied by Guru Gobind Singh ji? Is he fighting a dharam yudh? Or is he merely filling his belly with the nearest restaurant?  Please don't make a mockery of our puratan Singhs' sacrifices by comparing them to lazy Sikhs who eat khulla maas.
    • Seriously?? The Dhadi is trying to be cute. For those who didn't get it, he said: "Some say Maharaj killed bakras (goats). Some say he cut the heads of the Panj Piyaras. The truth is that they weren't goats. It was she-goats (ਬਕਰੀਆਂ). He jhatka'd she-goats. Not he-goats." Wow. This is possibly the stupidest thing I've ever heard in relation to Sikhi.
    • Instead of a 9 inch or larger kirpan, take a smaller kirpan and put it (without gatra) inside your smaller turban and tie the turban tightly. This keeps a kirpan on your person without interfering with the massage or alarming the masseuse. I'm not talking about a trinket but rather an actual small kirpan that fits in a sheath (you'll have to search to find one). As for ahem, "problems", you could get a male masseuse. I don't know where you are, but in most places there are professional masseuses who actually know what they are doing and can really relieve your muscle pains.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use