My cousin is going to get married to a non amritdhari girl!!!

[1Anonymous1]

Sorry long post but please read!!!!!!!

Bit of a background of my cousin:

He’s 23 and just qualified as a solicitor, he took Amrit when he was younger (19) he went to hazur sahib and came back as a Singh, never told us what really changed him he kept it gupt. 

I must admit we were all shocked as before that he was always going out late partying and getting into trouble. He is a very smart Singh - Him and his father have gone to our grandmother (her mother was a gori lol) and they are very fair skinned with hazel eyes, basically look Greek as they have that facial structure/ jawline as well. I was very shocked when he told me about his to be fiancé  as he was very religious and ties a gol dastar.

Now to the point

Through the duration of uni and on insta I saw him with girls and when I confronted him he said they were just friends and I believed him. Now it turns out the latest girl I saw him with (he’s only been with 2 I know of through uni) he’s about to get engaged to her!!! she’s not amrit nor sehajdhari she doesn’t cover her hair and wears make up. 

Imagine this, when he showed the family her pic they were all very happy and said she was very pretty all ignoring the fact that she’s not amritdhari. Our family isn’t reallly religious only 4 women including me are amritdhari (his mum and dad aren’t amritdhari), she may be very pretty but I’m sure this goes against rehat.

I talked to my mum about this and she said that it don’t matter as there are couples where only one partner is amritdhari and the other isn’t and they still last. She said that she’s very pretty and he’s very good looking as well and they look good together, I told her that there are pretty amritdhari girls out there as well and I said LOOKS ARENT EVERYTHING she then got angry and told me to drop it as I’m going to cause trouble in the family - classic desi answer to shut someone up. 

My dad basically said the same thing - linking it to Jagmeet Singh saying they got married so what’s wrong with it. 

Is this going against rehat - I’m so confused I always thought it was. She’s coming down next week to meet his mum and dad so it looks serious, I don’t want to look like a trouble causer please help! I want to confront him with facts so please give me points I can say. 

The looks point everyone in my family is making is so stupid, basically saying that good looking people can sin and get away with it it’s so annoying!!!!!! 

[Redoptics]

I do not have enough knowledge on the subject myself but found a previous thread.

 

[Akalifauj]

He is wrong for marrying a girl that is not amritdhari.  If he doesn't listen to gurmat then there is nothing that can be done. Don't destroy yourself by getting angry and doing or saying things that will effect your jeevan.  If this was Punjab, where Sikhs had a raj.  Then something could have been done.  He would be presented before punj pyare and told to make a decision.   Either he chooses the girl who will take amrit and follow to be a Sikh or give up the Kakkar and go be with a girl who will drag him down further.  

Ask him this, go in front of punj pyare and ask them if they will allow you to marry a girl who is not amritdhari and cuts hair.  It's that simple.  You took amrit from punj pyare and gave your head to the Guru so they also can make the decision on what type of girl you can marry.

Jagmeet Singh is not an example of a gursikh.  He is an example of what an Amritdhari Singh should not do. 

[MisterrSingh]

Lesson: Don't be ugly.

[dallysingh101]

1 hour ago, MisterrSingh said:

Lesson: Don't be ugly.

Any tips on how to achieve this? Other than plastic surgery. 

 

 

lol

[dallysingh101]

On the serious though. 

I think life experiences often puts us in totally different mindsets. 

I understand that Amritdharis marrying another Amritdhari would be preferable because lifestyle commitments (i.e. rehat) would theoretically be much easier to maintain when both people are trying to achieve them. 

But that being said. Given what some of us have seen in terms of 'relationships' amongst apnay, I can't help but think that the situation could be a lot worse than a Sikh marrying another Sikh as in this case.  

[Guest GuestSingh]

ur cousin just sounds like another fake who used sikhi as a status symbol to boost ego and look better than others while hiding behind the roop to keep fooling around..

but u can ask him if he really gave his head to guru pita ji, why does he want to marry someone who aint gonna help him on his path and in his grishti jeevan? how can potential kids look up to them i.e. mom when they see she aint the same, living life how she wants?

ask him what he knows about rehit maryada and hukamname? research basic questions on sikhi living..u'll catch him out..

[Not2Cool2Argue]

Look on the positive side. Hopefully, the fiance will become an amritdhari after marriage. Most ppl will tell the amritdhari guy, that ur wife needs to take amrit after a bit. Then they both can take amrit together. Sometimes it takes a while to convince the wife. 

In the meantime, they are both sikhs and will continue coming to the gurudwara

[puzzled]

Iv heard of a few cases  recently of singhs marrying non amritdhari women. My mum's friend her son is a singh and he married a non amritdhari girl but she keeps her hair and wasn't wearing makeup and stuff.

Just today my mum's friend was telling my mum how her nephew a singh is marrying a normal Punjabi girl who cuts her hair and wears makeup etc 

Last few weeks iv heard of other similar cases.

At least there are punjabi women out there who don't mind marrying singhs, there still is hope lol

But I honestly think this whole idea of Punjabi girls not wanting to marry singhs is a bit exaggerated. Yes many don't want to but there are many out there who don't actually mind.

 

[PuzzledToo]

In this day and age just thank Waheguru that he's marrying a girl,a punjabi and a Sikh at least.

As not2cool2argue said,he might be able to use his jedi mind tricks to get her to be an amritdhari as well.I don't know how he'll be able to convince a modern girl to forsake her thongs and put on a kachera,but may the force be with him.

Don't be discouraged or disappointed.You stick to your beliefs and principles and marry an amritdhari some day.Don't worry about things you can't control.