My current state of mind

[Guest 500rma]

I’ve been struggling with depression for years, and it’s currently really getting harder and harder as each day passes by.

i reached out to a doctor who said I should be on meds but I’m only 21 and I don’t want that for me.

it all started out when I was in high school and had started experiencing self esteem issues back then cause of the way I looked. I’m a kesadhari and I wish to take Amrit. My fam isnt amritdhari and my dad drinks he’s kesadhari though. 

Life has been an absolute struggle so far. Whether it was socializing with others, or completing my studies, or getting a job. I am getting extremely weary of this now. I have been contemplating suicide. I need answers! 

I recently developed severe dry eyes cause most of my work is with my computer cause I basically studied computer science and I’m really passionate about it and this medical condition now poses another challenge. I wouldn’t share much. But I have been carrying a massive weight on my shoulders which not only affects me but my parents as well if I fail. 

Its only getting tougher and tougher I don’t know who to reach out to. It’s a very painful phase in my life and as each day passes by I’m losing hope if it’s ever gonna get better. 

Idk how long can this go on. 

Heres what I intend to do now, I wish to go on a meditation journey and I’ll try to meditate as much as my body will allow me. I wish to receive Darshan from guru saheb from whom I need answers and help. This is my last resort. If our path is the true path, I need to meet with guru saheb and ask him all these questions that I have. 

Is there anyone in the Sangat has had that experience. Has anyone had Darshan of guru saheb. Please help me out here.

IM NOT CRAZY!

waheguru ji ka Khalsa, waheguru ji ki fateh

[Guest Fight]

13 hours ago, Guest 500rma said:

I’ve been struggling with depression for years, and it’s currently really getting harder and harder as each day passes by.

i reached out to a doctor who said I should be on meds but I’m only 21 and I don’t want that for me.

it all started out when I was in high school and had started experiencing self esteem issues back then cause of the way I looked. I’m a kesadhari and I wish to take Amrit. My fam isnt amritdhari and my dad drinks he’s kesadhari though. 

Life has been an absolute struggle so far. Whether it was socializing with others, or completing my studies, or getting a job. I am getting extremely weary of this now. I have been contemplating suicide. I need answers! 

I recently developed severe dry eyes cause most of my work is with my computer cause I basically studied computer science and I’m really passionate about it and this medical condition now poses another challenge. I wouldn’t share much. But I have been carrying a massive weight on my shoulders which not only affects me but my parents as well if I fail. 

Its only getting tougher and tougher I don’t know who to reach out to. It’s a very painful phase in my life and as each day passes by I’m losing hope if it’s ever gonna get better. 

Idk how long can this go on. 

Heres what I intend to do now, I wish to go on a meditation journey and I’ll try to meditate as much as my body will allow me. I wish to receive Darshan from guru saheb from whom I need answers and help. This is my last resort. If our path is the true path, I need to meet with guru saheb and ask him all these questions that I have. 

Is there anyone in the Sangat has had that experience. Has anyone had Darshan of guru saheb. Please help me out here.

IM NOT CRAZY!

waheguru ji ka Khalsa, waheguru ji ki fateh

You need professional counseling. Suicide just leads people to an even darker hell than you feel you are in now, you would just be going into a 100% worse situation. 

Instead, get counselling, work on your life and make it amazing. 

I am telling you this because I have suffered similar mental issues as you describe and I have overcome them and am now building my life up and fighting until I win.

Do naam simran for at least 2.5hrs, 12:30pm onwards. 

I had Darshan of Guru Nanak a while ago. They give you reassurance and messages at times but you need to walk the path yourself, Noone will do it for you. All the strength, everything you need is within you. It Is you. We are Truth, strong and amazing beyond measure. Realise who you truly are. 

You're supposed to live your life the best you can, not wait for Darshans etc, get up, get couselling, be happy and live. 

[Guest guest]

if you don't want medication, why don't you try cbt?  

as per dry eyes, why not speak to an optometrist.  and if you are uni, speak to your teachers about it.  your health should become before career.  however your degree can be applied to another field (theoretical work?)  also, maybe the dry eyes are due to stress or lack of sleep?

if you are having trouble studying, get some advice from the high scorers in your class.  or if you feel too shy then research study advice online.

is there someone in your family you can tell you issues to?  might make you feel better to have someone hear you out.  if your parents understand the strain you are feeling, they will go lighter on you.  

 

[Guest GuestSingh]

brother, have been through similar experiences myself but dont give up - we can always help ourselves in life if we're prepared to just set ourselves a goal or more or have ambition, think wisely enough and make the right choices, good choices, in life - the fact u wish to see guruji through devotion is one of them.

gurbani says that by taking steps towards them, they take even more towards us so keep on this path, research sikhi further if u havent already e.g. history and be inspired by it, try to find good sangat near u and keep their company, learn from them etc.

ur still young and like lots of things in life, passions/interests can change so wouldnt worry too much about this but if IT is something u really want as a career, my advice is to start exercise and eat a healthy diet - see the health section for lots of knowledge to get u started..

[puzzled]

im 26 now but when i was 21 i had serious social anxiety, i also had no one to talk to because i knew the people around me wouldn't understand. You should try taking the meds! they will help. it took a lot but i had no choice but to go to my doctor and i started taking anti depressants and they did help! i took them for a year and felt so much better, now at 26 im more confident than i ever have been before. dont worry it will get better ...

carry on with sikhi as well it will give you comfort  

[RajKaregaKhalsa1]

On 12/30/2018 at 9:42 AM, Guest 500rma said:

Heres what I intend to do now, I wish to go on a meditation journey and I’ll try to meditate as much as my body will allow me. I wish to receive Darshan from guru saheb from whom I need answers and help. This is my last resort. If our path is the true path, I need to meet with guru saheb and ask him all these questions that I have. 

Is there anyone in the Sangat has had that experience. Has anyone had Darshan of guru saheb. Please help me out here.

IM NOT CRAZY!

I haven't had Darshan of Maharaj, but when you start Sikhi, doing Simran, Paath, listening to Kirtan and feeling the Anand Waheguru ji gives, the answers that you are seeking for will be answered automatically since you will be at a higher spiritual level. Don't worry, you got this

[Wicked Warrior]

If you wish to converse with Guru Ji, then go to your local Gurdwara and ask Guru ji there in the form of Ardaas. 

For your mood, do two things:

1. CBT - you can get websites and apps that help you through this. 

2. Do some form of paath daily, even if just japji sahib, along with your naam simran. The mind is easily upset, a bit like an unruly child. It must be brought under control. Paath and simran will help with this. 

[scali]

Not to oversimplify anything. But you are what you think you are And you create an experience with your belief. The ultimate truth is that you are GOD itself and a creator and are creating misery by belief in that you are somehow insufficient and you experience it. Believe in the highest form of yourself Sat Chit Anand and in a matter of time you will start to experience it. This is the real you not what other people tell you who you are and should be. 

[jkvlondon]

Bro ,

I watched this video yesterday and it hit home

because you do a lot of screen time the dry eyes could be because of lack of blinking , has been documented in those doing gaming because of mental frame of not missing anything on the screen , optometrists suggest eye hygiene of taking total breaks from the screen every 50 minutes , looking at different focal lengths ideally outside in sunlight .
If you need help temporarily from meds that's OK  don't rule it out totally