Would you marry someone whose not virgin?

[savalakhsingh]

On 1/2/2019 at 9:28 PM, puzzled said:

Would you marry someone who has already had s3x with other people ?

I wouldn't because I have never had sex before and will wait for marriage.

It's also gurus hukkam to only have physical relations within marriage 

MODS don't delete this thread.

I know this thread is about something a lot serious but can i change the question slightly:

I have been raised with gursikh values ever since birth, guru kirpa both my parents are gursikhs who follow maryada. So I never even had a relationship. Now I recently received a rishta from a well respected gursikh family (who weren't always into sikhi) and upon talking to the girl for some time (about 3 months), we talked about previous relationships. At this point, we're both quite attached to each other because we've been getting to know each other texting and calling quite a lot.. i know it's a bad thing but this is where my question comes in. So, it turns out this girl has not always been into Sikhi and has had multiple relationships previously (nothing s3xual, the furthest she went was kissing).. but this upset me quite a bit. Is that wrong of me? 

I'm trying to look past it because I know she wasn't into Sikhi back then but still I feel like it's a big step to even kiss someone.. or is that just because I have been brought up in a gursikh household that i think that? Because I asked some gore friends and none of them care, they think kissing is nothing, they don't even care if she's not a virgin because they're not themselves. So, I'm not sure if i'm overreacting or if I should actually wait for someone who's waited to take this step.

I don't hate her for it, but now whenever I think of her or text her I'm reminded of this all the time and it's so frustrating.

Sorry this post was a bit too personal, I may delete later but I don't know who to go to for this kind of advice.

[RajKaregaKhalsa1]

17 minutes ago, savalakhsingh said:

I know this thread is about something a lot serious but can i change the question slightly:

I have been raised with gursikh values ever since birth, guru kirpa both my parents are gursikhs who follow maryada. So I never even had a relationship. Now I recently received a rishta from a well respected gursikh family (who weren't always into sikhi) and upon talking to the girl for some time (about 3 months), we talked about previous relationships. At this point, we're both quite attached to each other because we've been getting to know each other texting and calling quite a lot.. i know it's a bad thing but this is where my question comes in. So, it turns out this girl has not always been into Sikhi and has had multiple relationships previously (nothing s3xual, the furthest she went was kissing).. but this upset me quite a bit. Is that wrong of me? 

I'm trying to look past it because I know she wasn't into Sikhi back then but still I feel like it's a big step to even kiss someone.. or is that just because I have been brought up in a gursikh household that i think that? Because I asked some gore friends and none of them care, they think kissing is nothing, they don't even care if she's not a virgin because they're not themselves. So, I'm not sure if i'm overreacting or if I should actually wait for someone who's waited to take this step.

I don't hate her for it, but now whenever I think of her or text her I'm reminded of this all the time and it's so frustrating.

Sorry this post was a bit too personal, I may delete later but I don't know who to go to for this kind of advice.

I think it's probably natural that your feeling this way since you've waited a long time. But what would Maharaj says. We've all been Manmukhs and have done many Paaps but like a father Maharaj forgives us. She had relationships before getting into Sikhi but now that she is in Sikhi she is also probably asking (like the rest of us) for Maharaj to forgive our past foolish ways and to put us back on the path. So if Maharaj forgives us for our Paap in an instant, I think we ought to be able to also forgive others for their mistakes. It's your choice if you want a different partner. Take a Hukamnama and see what Maharaj says. Maharaj knows best

[MisterrSingh]

20 minutes ago, savalakhsingh said:

So, it turns out this girl has not always been into Sikhi and has had multiple relationships previously (nothing s3xual, the furthest she went was kissing).. but this upset me quite a bit. Is that wrong of me? 

 

The world and its dog will convince you you're wrong to have these doubts; that you should assume the role of spiritual counsellor and guide your previously wayward potential partner onto the path of dignity and righteousness; that it's YOUR fault if things go awry.

Don't do it. Listen to me clearly: don't do it. 

Those few months where you feel you've struck up some form of bond are, ultimately, meaningless. Don't be swayed by the thought, "But what if I never connect with somebody in this way?" You will. Trust me, you will.

And I can guarantee you nothing ever "stops at kissing." That's a load of gooh, lmao.

[savalakhsingh]

19 minutes ago, RajKaregaKhalsa1 said:

Take a Hukamnama and see what Maharaj says.

 

14 minutes ago, MisterrSingh said:

The world and its dog will convince you you're wrong to have these doubts;

Thank you guys singho. This has cleared my head a lot which has been disturbed for some time.

[puzzled]

37 minutes ago, savalakhsingh said:

I know this thread is about something a lot serious but can i change the question slightly:

I have been raised with gursikh values ever since birth, guru kirpa both my parents are gursikhs who follow maryada. So I never even had a relationship. Now I recently received a rishta from a well respected gursikh family (who weren't always into sikhi) and upon talking to the girl for some time (about 3 months), we talked about previous relationships. At this point, we're both quite attached to each other because we've been getting to know each other texting and calling quite a lot.. i know it's a bad thing but this is where my question comes in. So, it turns out this girl has not always been into Sikhi and has had multiple relationships previously (nothing s3xual, the furthest she went was kissing).. but this upset me quite a bit. Is that wrong of me? 

I'm trying to look past it because I know she wasn't into Sikhi back then but still I feel like it's a big step to even kiss someone.. or is that just because I have been brought up in a gursikh household that i think that? Because I asked some gore friends and none of them care, they think kissing is nothing, they don't even care if she's not a virgin because they're not themselves. So, I'm not sure if i'm overreacting or if I should actually wait for someone who's waited to take this step.

I don't hate her for it, but now whenever I think of her or text her I'm reminded of this all the time and it's so frustrating.

Sorry this post was a bit too personal, I may delete later but I don't know who to go to for this kind of advice.

That's a tough one man. If it's making you frustrated now then it probably will frustrate you after you get married.

Will you be able to forget it after marriage? If not, then what will you do ? 

If you have started seeing her differently now then how will you see her after marriage ?

Not gonna tell you what I think you should do but you need to ask yourself do you really want to go forward with this relationship? 

 

[Guest jigsaw_puzzled_singh]

On 1/14/2019 at 10:41 PM, puzzled said:

Haha   I actually like that story 

There's another story related to kaam. It's about Lord Indra who had an affair with a rishis wife called aaliyah. The rishi went out and Indra took advantage and went into the Rishis house but he changes  his form into the Rishis form so that aaliyah would think it's her husband the rishi. However aaliyah realized it not her rishi husband but Indra in the form of her husband but aaliyah too was feeling it and fancied a bit if Indra and then both of them made love. When Indra finished he walked out of the Rishis house and as he walked out the rishi walked around the corner!!!!!!

The rishi then cursed his wife aaliyah for sleeping with another man other than himself and turned her into a pillar of salt/stone and he cursed Indra and Indra lost his male private parts and in turn had grew 1000 female private parts !!!  He actually lost his willy and grew female private parts, not one but 1000s of them !!!

Indra felt humiliated, embarrassed, heart broken and womanly. He was so embarrassed with his new female appearance and genitals that he didn't return back to indra-puri. Long story short He eventually got his male genitals back through meditation and begging.

As for poor aaliyah, she remained a pillar of salt/rock for 1000s and 1000s of years untill Lord rama, lakshan, and sita came along and rama broke the curse and she once again became a beautiful woman. Rama then gave her mukti.

Despite being married and having an affair with Indra, Aaliyah is considered an eternal virgin, along with sita and draupati, because she was blessed and given mukti my rama.

This is one of my favourite stories jigsaw singh.  Lol 

Well now....you certainly know some good Hinduism epic stories buddy...I'll give you that

Every religion has parables of course and nearly all of the time they have an obscure moral message that you're supposed to use positively in your life. I say "almost" because Hinduism seems to be the exception. I never know what the hell I'm supposed to take away from them and how I'm supposed to use them in my life. For example, your first story on the previous page about the one eyed man that shoots an arrow at a farmer that was burned. How the hell am I supposed to use that as a moral guide in life ?  The only life hack / guide I can draw from that story is that if I ever decide to go to a farm in order to set a farmer on fire I should definately keep an eye out for any cyclops holding a crossbow. This is truly great advice......for anyone planning on setting a farmer on fire on a farm.

[puzzled]

12 hours ago, Guest jigsaw_puzzled_singh said:

Well now....you certainly know some good Hinduism epic stories buddy...I'll give you that

Every religion has parables of course and nearly all of the time they have an obscure moral message that you're supposed to use positively in your life. I say "almost" because Hinduism seems to be the exception. I never know what the hell I'm supposed to take away from them and how I'm supposed to use them in my life. For example, your first story on the previous page about the one eyed man that shoots an arrow at a farmer that was burned. How the hell am I supposed to use that as a moral guide in life ?  The only life hack / guide I can draw from that story is that if I ever decide to go to a farm in order to set a farmer on fire I should definately keep an eye out for any cyclops holding a crossbow. This is truly great advice......for anyone planning on setting a farmer on fire on a farm.

Lol yes Hinduism does have some epic stories haha.  Well in the first one kaamdev the indian Cupid tried to disturb shivas meditation by firing a love arrow at him but Shiva opened his 3rd and blew Kaamdev up with fire from his third eye.

Maybe the message is that bakti and meditation can turn kaam to ash and destroy it ?  

As for Indra having an affair with the Rishis wife aaliyah I think this story is narrated in charitarpakhiyan. It also mentioned in dasam granth where guru gobind singh ji tells us how guru tegh bahadur ji told guru ji to love your wife as much as you can but not even in your dream go into the bed of another woman.  After this it follows with some examples and one of the examples is Indra being punished and humiliated by losing his manhood and growing female genitals, all for sleeping with another man's wife.  After all I can't possibly imagine anything worse than waking up in the morning and discovering that my manhood has disappeared lol, don't think anything can top that.

So the message behind that is don't sleep with another man's wife because you will be punished and humiliated in the worst way! 

All goes back to kaam

Yeah some hindu stories sound odd but nothing beats some of the biblical stories.  Like how before God was about to destroy the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah, God sent angels to save Lut and his family because apparently he was the only righteous man in the city. The gay horny men of the city saw the the angels enter Luts house and wanted to "know" them, which basically means have s3x with them. So all the gays starting banging on Luts door demanding him to send out the angels so they can do their thing. Lut the most "righteous" man in the city decides to offer his virgin daughters to get raped by the horde of men instead!  The gays refuse the virgin daughters and ask for the angels. The angels then come out kill the gays and then leg it out of the city with Lut and Luts family, as they leg it out God showers down fire onto the city and turns it to ash. While running out Luts wife is turned into a pillar of salt because she looked back at the burning city lol. Angels done their job and leave Lut then spends the night in the mountains with his daughters. The disturbing part is that the bible narrates that Luts daughters decide to seduce their father, but to do that they gave him wine to drink so he would lose his senses, after he got drunk, Luts own daughters did it with their father! The bible don't explain why they did this but they ended up pregnant by their father and from their offspring a tribe was created. 

I really don't see what you can possibly learn from this disturbing saga in the bible. Apart from whoever wrote it what were they thinking!!! 

And if God sent the angels to save Lut from the city before God was going to destroy it, because Lut was the only "righteous" man in the city, Lut ended up offering his virgin daughter to the horde of men who wanted to rape the angels! If the biblical God sees that as a righteous man then the biblical gods moral compass is all over the place. 

[Redoptics]

3 minutes ago, puzzled said:

Lol yes Hinduism does have some epic stories haha.  Well in the first one kaamdev the indian Cupid tried to disturb shivas meditation by firing a love arrow at him but Shiva opened his 3rd and blew Kaamdev up with fire from his third eye.

Maybe the message is that bakti and meditation can turn kaam to ash and destroy it ?  

As for Indra having an affair with the Rishis wife aaliyah I think this story is narrated in charitarpakhiyan. It also mentioned in dasam granth where guru gobind singh ji tells us how guru tegh bahadur ji told guru ji to love your wife as much as you can but not even in your dream go into the bed of another woman.  After this it follows with some examples and one of the examples is Indra being punished and humiliated by losing his manhood and growing female genitals, all for sleeping with another man's wife.  After all I can't possibly imagine anything worse than waking up in the morning and discovering that my manhood has disappeared lol, don't think anything can top that.

So the message behind that is don't sleep with another man's wife because you will be punished and humiliated in the worst way! 

All goes back to kaam

Yeah some hindu stories sound odd but nothing beats some of the biblical stories.  Like how before God was about to destroy the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah, God sent angels to save Lut and his family because apparently he was the only righteous man in the city. The gay horny men of the city saw the the angels enter Luts house and wanted to "know" them, which basically means have s3x with them. So all the gays starting banging on Luts door demanding him to send out the angels so they can do their thing. Lut the most "righteous" man in the city decides to offer his virgin daughters to get raped by the horde of men instead!  The gays refuse the virgin daughters and ask for the angels. The angels then come out kill the gays and then leg it out of the city with Lut and Luts family, as they leg it out God showers down fire onto the city and turns it to ash. While running out Luts wife is turned into a pillar of salt because she looked back at the burning city lol. Angels done their job and leave Lut then spends the night in the mountains with his daughters. The disturbing part is that the bible narrates that Luts daughters decide to seduce their father, but to do that they gave him wine to drink so he would lose his senses, after he got drunk, Luts own daughters did it with their father! The bible don't explain why they did this but they ended up pregnant by their father and from their offspring a tribe was created. 

I really don't see what you can possibly learn from this disturbing saga in the bible. Apart from whoever wrote it what were they thinking!!! 

And if God sent the angels to save Lut from the city before God was going to destroy it, because Lut was the only "righteous" man in the city, Lut ended up offering his virgin daughter to the horde of men who wanted to rape the angels! If the biblical God sees that as a righteous man then the biblical gods moral compass is all over the place. 

Did you not know the hindu gods were aliens , have you never warched ancient aliens

[puzzled]

Talking of kaami stuff today it has been 2 weeks and 3 days of NoFap for me. Couple months back I made it to 2 weeks and 3 days as well so this the longest i been without doing it haha!

I really wanna stop doing it, it's a wrong habit, gonna see if I can completely stop lol 

[puzzled]

6 minutes ago, Redoptics said:

Did you not know the hindu gods were aliens , have you never warched ancient aliens

the history channel called them aliens and they called the chariots UFOs  Lol