Would you marry someone whose not virgin?

[TinnkerBell]

On 1/16/2019 at 1:03 AM, savalakhsingh said:

I know this thread is about something a lot serious but can i change the question slightly:

I have been raised with gursikh values ever since birth, guru kirpa both my parents are gursikhs who follow maryada. So I never even had a relationship. Now I recently received a rishta from a well respected gursikh family (who weren't always into sikhi) and upon talking to the girl for some time (about 3 months), we talked about previous relationships. At this point, we're both quite attached to each other because we've been getting to know each other texting and calling quite a lot.. i know it's a bad thing but this is where my question comes in. So, it turns out this girl has not always been into Sikhi and has had multiple relationships previously (nothing s3xual, the furthest she went was kissing).. but this upset me quite a bit. Is that wrong of me? 

I'm trying to look past it because I know she wasn't into Sikhi back then but still I feel like it's a big step to even kiss someone.. or is that just because I have been brought up in a gursikh household that i think that? Because I asked some gore friends and none of them care, they think kissing is nothing, they don't even care if she's not a virgin because they're not themselves. So, I'm not sure if i'm overreacting or if I should actually wait for someone who's waited to take this step.

I don't hate her for it, but now whenever I think of her or text her I'm reminded of this all the time and it's so frustrating.

Sorry this post was a bit too personal, I may delete later but I don't know who to go to for this kind of advice.

Bai ji everyone has his/her own views and perceptions. I am also trying to find a good girl for me and whatever you wrote above- almost same case was with me as well.  Upon knowing about her past relationships ( she been attached to a guy but not any sexual relationship). I decided not to go forward and I will find different partner. I told her my decision- it was little hard for me as well but thats how it worked for me. 

So bai ji what i will suggest is to follow ur heart and not listen to anyone. Girls have much more deeper roots than we see. They are very clever ( no offence to any girl here there are some good girls too)

 

[TinnkerBell]

On 1/16/2019 at 1:03 AM, savalakhsingh said:

I know this thread is about something a lot serious but can i change the question slightly:

I have been raised with gursikh values ever since birth, guru kirpa both my parents are gursikhs who follow maryada. So I never even had a relationship. Now I recently received a rishta from a well respected gursikh family (who weren't always into sikhi) and upon talking to the girl for some time (about 3 months), we talked about previous relationships. At this point, we're both quite attached to each other because we've been getting to know each other texting and calling quite a lot.. i know it's a bad thing but this is where my question comes in. So, it turns out this girl has not always been into Sikhi and has had multiple relationships previously (nothing s3xual, the furthest she went was kissing).. but this upset me quite a bit. Is that wrong of me? 

I'm trying to look past it because I know she wasn't into Sikhi back then but still I feel like it's a big step to even kiss someone.. or is that just because I have been brought up in a gursikh household that i think that? Because I asked some gore friends and none of them care, they think kissing is nothing, they don't even care if she's not a virgin because they're not themselves. So, I'm not sure if i'm overreacting or if I should actually wait for someone who's waited to take this step.

I don't hate her for it, but now whenever I think of her or text her I'm reminded of this all the time and it's so frustrating.

Sorry this post was a bit too personal, I may delete later but I don't know who to go to for this kind of advice.

Bai ji everyone has his/her own views and perceptions. I am also trying to find a good girl for me and whatever you wrote above- almost same case was with me as well.  Upon knowing about her past relationships ( she been attached to a guy but not any sexual relationship). I decided not to go forward and I will find different partner. I told her my decision- it was little hard for me as well but thats how it worked for me. 

So bai ji what i will suggest is to follow ur heart and not listen to anyone. Girls have much more deeper roots than we see. They are very clever ( no offence to any girl here there are some good girls too)

 

[Guest jigsaw_puzzled_singh]

13 hours ago, puzzled said:

Lol yes Hinduism does have some epic stories haha.  Well in the first one kaamdev the indian Cupid tried to disturb shivas meditation by firing a love arrow at him but Shiva opened his 3rd and blew Kaamdev up with fire from his third eye.

Maybe the message is that bakti and meditation can turn kaam to ash and destroy it ?  

 

Umm... yes. Possibly that is the message. D'ya think though it all stems from the fact that our fathers and forefathers....and people generally in the sub-continent...are not able to able to follow simply advice unless it's dressed up in a far-fetched story ?     I'm saying this because we have still have examples of it today with things like Bollywood, Indian TV news not able to tell a news story without dramatic music telling the viewer how to feel and the way NKJ use manipulating sights and sounds in order to make a simple point ?

Quote

 

Yeah some hindu stories sound odd but nothing beats some of the biblical stories.  Like how before God was about to destroy the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah, God sent angels to save Lut and his family because apparently he was the only righteous man in the city. The gay horny men of the city saw the the angels enter Luts house and wanted to "know" them, which basically means have s3x with them. So all the gays starting banging on Luts door demanding him to send out the angels so they can do their thing. Lut the most "righteous" man in the city decides to offer his virgin daughters to get raped by the horde of men instead!  The gays refuse the virgin daughters and ask for the angels. The angels then come out kill the gays and then leg it out of the city with Lut and Luts family, as they leg it out God showers down fire onto the city and turns it to ash. While running out Luts wife is turned into a pillar of salt because she looked back at the burning city lol. Angels done their job and leave Lut then spends the night in the mountains with his daughters. The disturbing part is that the bible narrates that Luts daughters decide to seduce their father, but to do that they gave him wine to drink so he would lose his senses, after he got drunk, Luts own daughters did it with their father! The bible don't explain why they did this but they ended up pregnant by their father and from their offspring a tribe was created. 

I really don't see what you can possibly learn from this disturbing saga in the bible. Apart from whoever wrote it what were they thinking!!! 

 

 Oh yes. You can't get sillier than the Bible. But then again.....any religion that has it's foundation built on the 'fact' that a pair of penguins and polar bears walked all the way from the North Pole to Turkey just to get on a boat built by a 400 year old man shouldn't really be taken too seriously 

[jkvlondon]

Interesting how females never get to show same prejudices back , most of the guys I grew up with were tramps before marrying virgins , talk about hypocrisy ... and they were amritdhari

If purataan times Singh did't marry the rejected hindu/muslim bibian  maybe some of our loud and macho Singhs would not exist ... If  Guru Amar Das ji said marrying widows is fine , then who are we to reject that faisla or the honourable behaviour of our bazurg marrying the kidnapped and rejected ?

 

 

[puzzled]

9 hours ago, Guest jigsaw_puzzled_singh said:

Umm... yes. Possibly that is the message. D'ya think though it all stems from the fact that our fathers and forefathers....and people generally in the sub-continent...are not able to able to follow simply advice unless it's dressed up in a far-fetched story ?     I'm saying this because we have still have examples of it today with things like Bollywood, Indian TV news not able to tell a news story without dramatic music telling the viewer how to feel and the way NKJ use manipulating sights and sounds in order to make a simple point ?

 Oh yes. You can't get sillier than the Bible. But then again.....any religion that has it's foundation built on the 'fact' that a pair of penguins and polar bears walked all the way from the North Pole to Turkey just to get on a boat built by a 400 year old man shouldn't really be taken too seriously 

LMAO yes  the bible especially the old testament has lots of odd stores that just don't  make sense.

Yeah I never understood the Noah ark story and how it possibly could of worked. How can all those different species of animals fit on one ship? Did the carnivals like lions and wolf's not eat the herbivores like the deer and zebra?

Did the elephants not trample over and murder the smaller animals? 

How did he feed them all?  

Nice story but I can't imagine it.

How can you fit two elephants, crocodiles, hippos, giraffes and other massive animals on one ship and give them the space to roam that they need and how did he prevent them from killing each other lol

[puzzled]

5 minutes ago, jkvlondon said:

Interesting how females never get to show same prejudices back , most of the guys I grew up with were tramps before marrying virgins , talk about hypocrisy ... and they were amritdhari

If purataan times Singh did't marry the rejected hindu/muslim bibian  maybe some of our loud and macho Singhs would not exist ... If  Guru Amar Das ji said marrying widows is fine , then who are we to reject that faisla or the honourable behaviour of our bazurg marrying the kidnapped and rejected ?

 

 

Women are free to answer as well, this is not just for guys to answer.  In fact I would like to hear from women too.

I wouldn't mind marrying a widow, or someone who was raped.

What I don't want to marry is someone who casually slept around out of her own choice. 

[Redoptics]

2 minutes ago, puzzled said:

LMAO yes  the bible especially the old testament has lots of odd stores that just don't  make sense.

Yeah I never understood the Noah ark story and how it possibly could of worked. How can all those different species of animals fit on one ship? Did the carnivals like lions and wolf's not eat the herbivores like the deer and zebra?

Did the elephants not trample over and murder the smaller animals? 

How did he feed them all?  

Nice story but I can't imagine it.

How can you fit two elephants, crocodiles, hippos, giraffes and other massive animals on one ship and give them the space to roam that they need and how did he prevent them from killing each other lol

Brother do you not know, the ark was a spaceship,  they got all the animals dna, once the flood was over.

They used their scientific expertise to bring back the animals.

Its bloody aliens, I tell ya

[puzzled]

23 hours ago, Redoptics said:

You sleep butt naked lol kuuuuuta lol

LMAO    well my room is in the attic and no one comes up here so I sleep and walk around how ever I like  haha 

I have a bathroom up here and I don't even shut the door when having a shower or toilet business, no one comes up to my room  lol 

[puzzled]

2 minutes ago, Redoptics said:

Brother do you not know, the ark was a spaceship,  they got all the animals dna, once the flood was over.

They used their scientific expertise to bring back the animals.

Its bloody aliens, I tell ya

LMAO yeah Noah must of traveled around the globe and collected DNA samples and once the flood was over he then got to work in his lab and used the DNA to create clones lol 

[MisterrSingh]

14 minutes ago, jkvlondon said:

If  Guru Amar Das ji said marrying widows is fine , then who are we to reject that faisla or the honourable behaviour of our bazurg marrying the kidnapped and rejected ?

A woman made a widow through an unfortunate quirk of fate is the same as a party animal trying to paper over the bad decisions of her past by ensnaring a gullible young Singh; usually without a hint of contrition? Nah, I'm not buying it. That's a false equivalence.