Is this a sangat or just a forum?

[Redoptics]

Anyway sorry for my behaviour last night.

[GuestKaur2]

3 hours ago, Redoptics said:

Anyway sorry for my behaviour last night.

@Redoptics Veerji I've taken a hukamnama for you so you know what Maharaj is saying to you. Dealing with the death of a loved one is a difficult situation but its just a part of life we have to accept. Its our previous Karam's that determine what happens to us in our lives. Your wife is being looked after by Vaheguru Ji, where we will all go to when we die. The main thing is to ask Maharaj for support. The hukam will make more sense to you than it will to me. The main thing is that she wouldn't like to see you in your current state. She would want to see you happy and taking care of yourself. Isolating yourself from others is not the way. I agree that it is unimaginably hard for you to go through but there are people willing to help. You need to start taking better care of yourself and stay away from alcohol, it may make you feel better in the moment but afterwards it will make you feel worse.

I'm sorry if I came across as rude, please forgive me

In Gurmukhi

ਸਲੋਕੁ ਮਃ ੩ ॥
ਏ ਮਨ ਹਰਿ ਜੀ ਧਿਆਇ ਤੂ ਇਕ ਮਨਿ ਇਕ ਚਿਤਿ ਭਾਇ ॥
ਹਰਿ ਕੀਆ ਸਦਾ ਸਦਾ ਵਡਿਆਈਆ ਦੇਇ ਨ ਪਛੋਤਾਇ ॥
ਹਉ ਹਰਿ ਕੈ ਸਦ ਬਲਿਹਾਰਣੈ ਜਿਤੁ ਸੇਵਿਐ ਸੁਖੁ ਪਾਇ ॥
ਨਾਨਕ ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਮਿਲਿ ਰਹੈ ਹਉਮੈ ਸਬਦਿ ਜਲਾਇ ॥੧॥
ਮਃ ੩ ॥
ਆਪੇ ਸੇਵਾ ਲਾਇਅਨੁ ਆਪੇ ਬਖਸ ਕਰੇਇ ॥
ਸਭਨਾ ਕਾ ਮਾ ਪਿਉ ਆਪਿ ਹੈ ਆਪੇ ਸਾਰ ਕਰੇਇ ॥
ਨਾਨਕ ਨਾਮੁ ਧਿਆਇਨਿ ਤਿਨ ਨਿਜ ਘਰਿ ਵਾਸੁ ਹੈ ਜੁਗੁ ਜੁਗੁ ਸੋਭਾ ਹੋਇ ॥੨॥
ਪਉੜੀ ॥
ਤੂ ਕਰਣ ਕਾਰਣ ਸਮਰਥੁ ਹਹਿ ਕਰਤੇ ਮੈ ਤੁਝ ਬਿਨੁ ਅਵਰੁ ਨ ਕੋਈ ॥
ਤੁਧੁ ਆਪੇ ਸਿਸਟਿ ਸਿਰਜੀਆ ਆਪੇ ਫੁਨਿ ਗੋਈ ॥
ਸਭੁ ਇਕੋ ਸਬਦੁ ਵਰਤਦਾ ਜੋ ਕਰੇ ਸੁ ਹੋਈ ॥
ਵਡਿਆਈ ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਦੇਇ ਪ੍ਰਭੁ ਹਰਿ ਪਾਵੈ ਸੋਈ ॥
ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਨਾਨਕ ਆਰਾਧਿਆ ਸਭਿ ਆਖਹੁ ਧੰਨੁ ਧੰਨੁ ਧੰਨੁ ਗੁਰੁ ਸੋਈ ॥੨੯॥੧॥ ਸੁਧੁ

Phonetic English

Salok Ma 3 ||
Eae Man Har Jee Dhhiaae Thoo Eik Man Eik Chith Bhaae ||
Har Keeaa Sadhaa Sadhaa Vaddiaaeeaa Dhaee N Pashhothaae ||
Ho Har Kai Sadh Balihaaranai Jith Saeviai Sukh Paae ||
Naanak Guramukh Mil Rehai Houmai Sabadh Jalaae ||1||
Ma 3 ||
Aapae Saevaa Laaeian Aapae Bakhas Karaee ||
Sabhanaa Kaa Maa Pio Aap Hai Aapae Saar Karaee ||
Naanak Naam Dhhiaaein Thin Nij Ghar Vaas Hai Jug Jug Sobhaa Hoe ||2||
Pourree ||
Thoo Karan Kaaran Samarathh Hehi Karathae Mai Thujh Bin Avar N Koee ||
Thudhh Aapae Sisatt Sirajeeaa Aapae Fun Goee ||
Sabh Eiko Sabadh Varathadhaa Jo Karae S Hoee ||
Vaddiaaee Guramukh Dhaee Prabh Har Paavai Soee ||
Guramukh Naanak Aaraadhhiaa Sabh Aakhahu Dhhann Dhhann Dhhann Gur Soee ||29||1|| Sudhhu

English Translation

Shalok, Third Mehl:
O mind, meditate on the Dear Lord, with single-minded conscious concentration.
The glorious greatness of the Lord shall last forever and ever; He never regrets what He gives.
I am forever a sacrifice to the Lord; serving Him, peace is obtained.
O Nanak, the Gurmukh remains merged with the Lord; he burns away his ego through the Word of the Shabad. ||1||
Third Mehl:
He Himself enjoins us to serve Him, and He Himself blesses us with forgiveness.
He Himself is the father and mother of all; He Himself cares for us.
O Nanak, those who meditate on the Naam, the Name of the Lord, abide in the home of their inner being; they are honored throughout the ages. ||2||
Pauree:
You are the Creator, all-powerful, able to do anything. Without You, there is no other at all.
You Yourself created the world, and You Yourself shall destroy it in the end.
The Word of Your Shabad alone is pervading everywhere; whatever You do, comes to pass.
God blesses the Gurmukh with glorious greatness, and then, he finds the Lord.
As Gurmukh, Nanak worships and adores the Lord; let everyone proclaim, ""Blessed, blessed, blessed is He, the Guru!""||29||1||Sudh||

Punjabi Viakhya

ਹੇ ਮਨ! ਪਿਆਰ ਨਾਲ ਇਕਾਗ੍ਰ ਚਿੱਤ ਹੋ ਕੇ ਹਰੀ ਦਾ ਸਿਮਰਨ ਕਰ; ਹਰੀ ਵਿਚ ਇਹ ਸਦਾ ਲਈ ਗੁਣ ਹਨ ਕਿ ਦਾਤ ਬਖ਼ਸ਼ ਕੇ ਪਛੁਤਾਉਂਦਾ ਨਹੀਂ।ਮੈਂ ਹਰੀ ਤੋਂ ਸਦਾ ਕੁਰਬਾਨ ਹਾਂ, ਜਿਸ ਦੀ ਸੇਵਾ ਕੀਤਿਆਂ ਸੁਖ ਮਿਲਦਾ ਹੈ; ਹੇ ਨਾਨਕ! ਗੁਰਮੁਖ ਜਨ ਅਹੰਕਾਰ ਨੂੰ ਸਤਿਗੁਰੂ ਦੇ ਸ਼ਬਦ ਦੀ ਰਾਹੀਂ ਸਾੜ ਕੇ ਹਰੀ ਵਿਚ ਮਿਲੇ ਰਹਿੰਦੇ ਹਨ ॥੧॥ਹਰੀ ਨੇ ਆਪ ਹੀ ਮਨੁੱਖਾਂ ਨੂੰ ਸੇਵਾ ਵਿਚ ਲਾਇਆ ਹੈ, ਆਪ ਹੀ ਬਖ਼ਸ਼ਸ਼ ਕਰਦਾ ਹੈ, ਆਪ ਹੀ ਸਭਨਾਂ ਦਾ ਮਾਂ ਪਿਉ ਹੈ ਤੇ ਆਪ ਹੀ ਸਭ ਦੀ ਸੰਭਾਲ ਕਰਦਾ ਹੈ।ਹੇ ਨਾਨਕ! ਜੋ ਮਨੁੱਖ ਨਾਮ ਜਪਦੇ ਹਨ, ਉਹ ਆਪਣੇ ਟਿਕਾਣੇ ਤੇ ਟਿਕੇ ਹੁੰਦੇ ਹਨ, ਹਰੇਕ ਜੁਗ ਵਿਚ ਉਹਨਾਂ ਦੀ ਸੋਭਾ ਹੁੰਦੀ ਹੈ ॥੨॥ਹੇ ਕਰਤਾਰ! ਤੂੰ ਸਾਰੀ ਕੁਦਰਤ ਨੂੰ ਰਚਣ-ਜੋਗਾ ਹੈਂ; ਤੇਰੇ ਬਿਨਾ ਤੇਰੇ ਜੇਡਾ ਕੋਈ ਹੋਰ ਨਹੀਂ ਮੈਨੂੰ ਦਿੱਸਦਾ; ਤੂੰ ਆਪ ਹੀ ਸ੍ਰਿਸ਼ਟੀ ਨੂੰ ਪੈਦਾ ਕਰਦਾ ਹੈਂ ਤੇ ਆਪ ਹੀ ਫਿਰ ਨਾਸ ਕਰਦਾ ਹੈਂ।ਸਭ ਥਾਈਂ (ਹਰੀ ਦਾ) ਹੀ ਹੁਕਮ ਵਰਤ ਰਿਹਾ ਹੈ; ਜੋ ਉਹ ਕਰਦਾ ਹੈ ਸੋਈ ਹੁੰਦਾ ਹੈ। ਜੋ ਮਨੁੱਖ ਗੁਰੂ ਦੇ ਸਨਮੁਖ ਹੁੰਦਾ ਹੈ, ਉਸ ਨੂੰ ਪ੍ਰਭੂ ਵਡਿਆਈ ਬਖ਼ਸ਼ਦਾ ਹੈ, ਉਹ ਉਸ ਹਰੀ ਨੂੰ ਮਿਲ ਪੈਂਦਾ ਹੈ।ਹੇ ਨਾਨਕ! ਗੁਰੂ ਦੇ ਸਨਮੁਖ ਮਨੁੱਖ ਹਰੀ ਨੂੰ ਸਿਮਰਦੇ ਹਨ, (ਹੇ ਭਾਈ!) ਸਾਰੇ ਆਖੋ, ਕਿ ਉਹ ਸਤਿਗੁਰੂ, ਧੰਨ ਹੈ, ਧੰਨ ਹੈ, ਧੰਨ ਹੈ ॥੨੯॥੧॥ਸੁਧੁ{

[Redoptics]

10 minutes ago, GuestKaur2 said:

@Redoptics Veerji I've taken a hukamnama for you so you know what Maharaj is saying to you. Dealing with the death of a loved one is a difficult situation but its just a part of life we have to accept. Its our previous Karam's that determine what happens to us in our lives. Your wife is being looked after by Vaheguru Ji, where we will all go to when we die. The main thing is to ask Maharaj for support. The hukam will make more sense to you than it will to me. The main thing is that she wouldn't like to see you in your current state. She would want to see you happy and taking care of yourself. Isolating yourself from others is not the way. I agree that it is unimaginably hard for you to go through but there are people willing to help. You need to start taking better care of yourself and stay away from alcohol, it may make you feel better in the moment but afterwards it will make you feel worse.

I'm sorry if I came across as rude, please forgive me

In Gurmukhi

ਸਲੋਕੁ ਮਃ ੩ ॥
ਏ ਮਨ ਹਰਿ ਜੀ ਧਿਆਇ ਤੂ ਇਕ ਮਨਿ ਇਕ ਚਿਤਿ ਭਾਇ ॥
ਹਰਿ ਕੀਆ ਸਦਾ ਸਦਾ ਵਡਿਆਈਆ ਦੇਇ ਨ ਪਛੋਤਾਇ ॥
ਹਉ ਹਰਿ ਕੈ ਸਦ ਬਲਿਹਾਰਣੈ ਜਿਤੁ ਸੇਵਿਐ ਸੁਖੁ ਪਾਇ ॥
ਨਾਨਕ ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਮਿਲਿ ਰਹੈ ਹਉਮੈ ਸਬਦਿ ਜਲਾਇ ॥੧॥
ਮਃ ੩ ॥
ਆਪੇ ਸੇਵਾ ਲਾਇਅਨੁ ਆਪੇ ਬਖਸ ਕਰੇਇ ॥
ਸਭਨਾ ਕਾ ਮਾ ਪਿਉ ਆਪਿ ਹੈ ਆਪੇ ਸਾਰ ਕਰੇਇ ॥
ਨਾਨਕ ਨਾਮੁ ਧਿਆਇਨਿ ਤਿਨ ਨਿਜ ਘਰਿ ਵਾਸੁ ਹੈ ਜੁਗੁ ਜੁਗੁ ਸੋਭਾ ਹੋਇ ॥੨॥
ਪਉੜੀ ॥
ਤੂ ਕਰਣ ਕਾਰਣ ਸਮਰਥੁ ਹਹਿ ਕਰਤੇ ਮੈ ਤੁਝ ਬਿਨੁ ਅਵਰੁ ਨ ਕੋਈ ॥
ਤੁਧੁ ਆਪੇ ਸਿਸਟਿ ਸਿਰਜੀਆ ਆਪੇ ਫੁਨਿ ਗੋਈ ॥
ਸਭੁ ਇਕੋ ਸਬਦੁ ਵਰਤਦਾ ਜੋ ਕਰੇ ਸੁ ਹੋਈ ॥
ਵਡਿਆਈ ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਦੇਇ ਪ੍ਰਭੁ ਹਰਿ ਪਾਵੈ ਸੋਈ ॥
ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਨਾਨਕ ਆਰਾਧਿਆ ਸਭਿ ਆਖਹੁ ਧੰਨੁ ਧੰਨੁ ਧੰਨੁ ਗੁਰੁ ਸੋਈ ॥੨੯॥੧॥ ਸੁਧੁ

Phonetic English

Salok Ma 3 ||
Eae Man Har Jee Dhhiaae Thoo Eik Man Eik Chith Bhaae ||
Har Keeaa Sadhaa Sadhaa Vaddiaaeeaa Dhaee N Pashhothaae ||
Ho Har Kai Sadh Balihaaranai Jith Saeviai Sukh Paae ||
Naanak Guramukh Mil Rehai Houmai Sabadh Jalaae ||1||
Ma 3 ||
Aapae Saevaa Laaeian Aapae Bakhas Karaee ||
Sabhanaa Kaa Maa Pio Aap Hai Aapae Saar Karaee ||
Naanak Naam Dhhiaaein Thin Nij Ghar Vaas Hai Jug Jug Sobhaa Hoe ||2||
Pourree ||
Thoo Karan Kaaran Samarathh Hehi Karathae Mai Thujh Bin Avar N Koee ||
Thudhh Aapae Sisatt Sirajeeaa Aapae Fun Goee ||
Sabh Eiko Sabadh Varathadhaa Jo Karae S Hoee ||
Vaddiaaee Guramukh Dhaee Prabh Har Paavai Soee ||
Guramukh Naanak Aaraadhhiaa Sabh Aakhahu Dhhann Dhhann Dhhann Gur Soee ||29||1|| Sudhhu

English Translation

Shalok, Third Mehl:
O mind, meditate on the Dear Lord, with single-minded conscious concentration.
The glorious greatness of the Lord shall last forever and ever; He never regrets what He gives.
I am forever a sacrifice to the Lord; serving Him, peace is obtained.
O Nanak, the Gurmukh remains merged with the Lord; he burns away his ego through the Word of the Shabad. ||1||
Third Mehl:
He Himself enjoins us to serve Him, and He Himself blesses us with forgiveness.
He Himself is the father and mother of all; He Himself cares for us.
O Nanak, those who meditate on the Naam, the Name of the Lord, abide in the home of their inner being; they are honored throughout the ages. ||2||
Pauree:
You are the Creator, all-powerful, able to do anything. Without You, there is no other at all.
You Yourself created the world, and You Yourself shall destroy it in the end.
The Word of Your Shabad alone is pervading everywhere; whatever You do, comes to pass.
God blesses the Gurmukh with glorious greatness, and then, he finds the Lord.
As Gurmukh, Nanak worships and adores the Lord; let everyone proclaim, ""Blessed, blessed, blessed is He, the Guru!""||29||1||Sudh||

Punjabi Viakhya

ਹੇ ਮਨ! ਪਿਆਰ ਨਾਲ ਇਕਾਗ੍ਰ ਚਿੱਤ ਹੋ ਕੇ ਹਰੀ ਦਾ ਸਿਮਰਨ ਕਰ; ਹਰੀ ਵਿਚ ਇਹ ਸਦਾ ਲਈ ਗੁਣ ਹਨ ਕਿ ਦਾਤ ਬਖ਼ਸ਼ ਕੇ ਪਛੁਤਾਉਂਦਾ ਨਹੀਂ।ਮੈਂ ਹਰੀ ਤੋਂ ਸਦਾ ਕੁਰਬਾਨ ਹਾਂ, ਜਿਸ ਦੀ ਸੇਵਾ ਕੀਤਿਆਂ ਸੁਖ ਮਿਲਦਾ ਹੈ; ਹੇ ਨਾਨਕ! ਗੁਰਮੁਖ ਜਨ ਅਹੰਕਾਰ ਨੂੰ ਸਤਿਗੁਰੂ ਦੇ ਸ਼ਬਦ ਦੀ ਰਾਹੀਂ ਸਾੜ ਕੇ ਹਰੀ ਵਿਚ ਮਿਲੇ ਰਹਿੰਦੇ ਹਨ ॥੧॥ਹਰੀ ਨੇ ਆਪ ਹੀ ਮਨੁੱਖਾਂ ਨੂੰ ਸੇਵਾ ਵਿਚ ਲਾਇਆ ਹੈ, ਆਪ ਹੀ ਬਖ਼ਸ਼ਸ਼ ਕਰਦਾ ਹੈ, ਆਪ ਹੀ ਸਭਨਾਂ ਦਾ ਮਾਂ ਪਿਉ ਹੈ ਤੇ ਆਪ ਹੀ ਸਭ ਦੀ ਸੰਭਾਲ ਕਰਦਾ ਹੈ।ਹੇ ਨਾਨਕ! ਜੋ ਮਨੁੱਖ ਨਾਮ ਜਪਦੇ ਹਨ, ਉਹ ਆਪਣੇ ਟਿਕਾਣੇ ਤੇ ਟਿਕੇ ਹੁੰਦੇ ਹਨ, ਹਰੇਕ ਜੁਗ ਵਿਚ ਉਹਨਾਂ ਦੀ ਸੋਭਾ ਹੁੰਦੀ ਹੈ ॥੨॥ਹੇ ਕਰਤਾਰ! ਤੂੰ ਸਾਰੀ ਕੁਦਰਤ ਨੂੰ ਰਚਣ-ਜੋਗਾ ਹੈਂ; ਤੇਰੇ ਬਿਨਾ ਤੇਰੇ ਜੇਡਾ ਕੋਈ ਹੋਰ ਨਹੀਂ ਮੈਨੂੰ ਦਿੱਸਦਾ; ਤੂੰ ਆਪ ਹੀ ਸ੍ਰਿਸ਼ਟੀ ਨੂੰ ਪੈਦਾ ਕਰਦਾ ਹੈਂ ਤੇ ਆਪ ਹੀ ਫਿਰ ਨਾਸ ਕਰਦਾ ਹੈਂ।ਸਭ ਥਾਈਂ (ਹਰੀ ਦਾ) ਹੀ ਹੁਕਮ ਵਰਤ ਰਿਹਾ ਹੈ; ਜੋ ਉਹ ਕਰਦਾ ਹੈ ਸੋਈ ਹੁੰਦਾ ਹੈ। ਜੋ ਮਨੁੱਖ ਗੁਰੂ ਦੇ ਸਨਮੁਖ ਹੁੰਦਾ ਹੈ, ਉਸ ਨੂੰ ਪ੍ਰਭੂ ਵਡਿਆਈ ਬਖ਼ਸ਼ਦਾ ਹੈ, ਉਹ ਉਸ ਹਰੀ ਨੂੰ ਮਿਲ ਪੈਂਦਾ ਹੈ।ਹੇ ਨਾਨਕ! ਗੁਰੂ ਦੇ ਸਨਮੁਖ ਮਨੁੱਖ ਹਰੀ ਨੂੰ ਸਿਮਰਦੇ ਹਨ, (ਹੇ ਭਾਈ!) ਸਾਰੇ ਆਖੋ, ਕਿ ਉਹ ਸਤਿਗੁਰੂ, ਧੰਨ ਹੈ, ਧੰਨ ਹੈ, ਧੰਨ ਹੈ ॥੨੯॥੧॥ਸੁਧੁ{

Thank you for your kind words and taking a hukamnama for me and you have not said nothing wrong.

[GuestKaur2]

1 minute ago, Redoptics said:

Thank you for your kind words and taking a hukamnama for me and you have not said nothing wrong.

Its alright Veerji any time  

[Not2Cool2Argue]

13 hours ago, Redoptics said:

Anyway sorry for my behaviour last night.

Im sure it was the drink speaking

You've mentioned that you're more worried about your wife then you are about yourself and ur pain. Maybe this perspective can help:

There was a saadhu, he used to wake up at 2am everyday and meditate. Like always, one day he got up at 2 am, went to someone's khoo(well) to get water for bathing. After bathing he sat next to the khoo, to meditate, when out of nowhere he heard screams. A women yelling he's dead!He's dead. The saadhu rushes towards the screams as do other people. The women, who is dressed in bridal clothes, is sobbing next to the dead body of her new husband. There is a sword embedded in his throat. When people question the wife about how the sword got there. The hysterical women looks around and points at the saadhu and says he did it! The saadhu is gobsmacked. He is manhandled and grabbed by the brides janj members and taken to the local ruler. The ruler announces a punishment of cutting the limbs off the saadhu. Despite his protests of innocence, the saadhu arms are cut above the elbows. 

The saadhu cant believe it. He is so mad at God. He goes to any holy man he can find and asks, I meditate on God, I did no crime, why were my arms cut off? The others have no answers just say, it is ur karm/ past actions. He has some powers and asks them that i've looked at all past of my 100 lives, and I see no reason for this!

Finally, he meets a competent holy person, who says u need to look at ur 108th past life. You were a saadhu meditatating in the forest. When the bride who was a deer came running past. The bridegroom was a hunter. He was chasing the deer, he came to you and asked which way did the deer go and u pointed with both hands towards the path the deer took. 

So what happened was, The bridal party was resting near the saraa/resting house for travelers where ur khoo was. The bride was not sleepy, so she started to examine her grooms sword which was hung above him. It slipped out of her hand and killed him. When ppl asked her what happened, she panicked and blamed you. So the deer got revenge on the hunter, and you got punished for helping in the murder of the deer. 

So, its all just past life karma. Dont be upset. You and the wife only had that much time to spend together, to cancel out some karma. Heres a more relevant story:

A sikh asked Guru Arjan Dev ji, do real brahmgianis exist? Those that see gold same as dirt, and sadness same as happiness etc as mentioned in Sukhkman sahib. Guru ji said they do and sent him to live at the house of a sikh, I've forgotten his name, so lets call him, Bhai Bhikan, When the questioning Sikh went to Bhai Bhikans house, everybody was busy, but he welcomed him. People were getting ready for  the wedding of bhai bhikan's son. They were cooking and sewing and decorating. and there was much excitement and singing and laughter. But Bhai Bhikhan was sitting in the corner, quietly singing gurbani and sewing kaffin/white cloth for the dead. The sikh asked why he was sewing that on his sons wedding preparations. Bhai bhikhan said you will see. 

The wedding happened, And after the bride was brought home, one of the customs was, that she would lift up her veil, and show her face to her husband and his family and his pind. As soon as she did that, the groom dies. There was much crying and wailing. Bhai Bhikhan ji quietly got out his kaffins and prepared the body for the funeral. 

After the funeral, the sikh asked Bhai Bhikhan ji, if you knew ur son was gonna die, why did u let him get married? Now the life of the poor girl is ruined. She is a widow already. Bhai Bhikan ji replied, it was hukam, and it is not right to interfere with hukam, plus the girls life is not ruined. She will live with us, a simple and peaceful life and have occasion to learn about the Guru and learn gurbani and do much seva and simran. Her life will be successful, she will be mukt. 

The sikh asked, what kind of hukam is this, to kill the groom on his wedding day, it serves no purpose. And what kind of person are you not to cry at his death or laugh at his wedding?

Bhai Bhikan ji said, it was a very merciful hukam, that lead to his dying on his wedding day. You see, my son used to be a very famous saint in his past life. He had almost achieved mukti. But one day, he saw a beautiful prostitute and his mind was weakened, he wished to see her more closely. Soon he died. And because that one wish of his was unfullfilled, he was given another life form, to fulfill his wish. That wish had actually become poison for him, as he could not be liberated until it was fulfilled. So as soon as he saw her face, he died, his reason for this life was complete. Now he is mukt and liberted.

So see, ur wife had some lehna/dehna, give/take or past unfullfilled relation with you. So that was why the arguments and stuff. And as soon as they resolved, so had completed her misson. so left. 

So dont think she was a bad person. She was just fulfilling her karma. And as to the rest, that she didnt do paath or anything. Dont worry, God is merciful, and gives many chances. She will get a human life again, and whenever she does, she has another chance. 

I hope this was helpful. And I sincerely hope,  it motivates you not to waste ur human life. Its ok to be sad and mourn ur wife. But do set some limits. Like after a year, I will no longer allow myself to wallow in bed. I will get out and do stuff. I may still feel sad, but I won't use her death as an excuse to be lazy. 

 

[InderjitS]

On 1/12/2019 at 8:57 PM, Redoptics said:

No they treated me like crap when i was young,  when i had breads etc , rather stay in bed atm 

Go to the Gurdwara on Princes Street, they have trained and qualified councillors.  We cannot judge all Gurdwarey or people by one or two negative experiences. Pinning the blame on Vaheguru is not going to make an iota of difference to him but it might to you in the long run. No one can understand your pain but Guru Sahib is ghat ghat ke 'antar' kee jaanat, they are all pervading so know how you are feeling.  From a Sikhi angle Karams are dynamic, so regardless of what we say, like someone else said they all catch up with us but some of their affects can be reduced based on what we do in this life ie losing ego through meditation and experiencing inner peace and calm. 

Think about the hundreds of thousands of Shaheeds, the bibis who had their children cut to pieces and placed around their necks or thrown on top of spears, shaheedi of Baba Banda Singh's 4 year old son when the mughals cut out his heart and force fed it to Baba Jee, shaheedian of Sikhs with Guru Tegh Bahadur Sahib. Imagine if they blamed Vaheguru Jee, none of us would be here today.

[MichaelJackson]

I’m deeply sorry.