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    • Perhaps this is the key to the root cause of it all ? What does he think won't change ?  What if you or your wife feign a disease ? Will he come if his mom pretends she's on bed suffering with something ?  Basically something that will bring him back to home and let him stick there atleast for a few weeks , giving you and your wife time to mend the relationships and break the ice 
    • Guest Guest Brown Eyes
      Thank you for your kind words. I’m sharing this because there maybe someone who has experienced similar anguish or as a warning to look out for. Perhaps a snapshot of a British born kid with Punjabi heritage and some Sikhi values tried to be instilled.  Upon reflection I was a more hands on Dad than my father was and yet I still feared and respected him. I believe that I may have been more informal and given greater freedom than I had to my son. To that degree I think I may have contributed to his stupidity. When I was his age I had been tempted to act out as he is doing now but I knew it was wrong. 3 of my peers didn’t stop and now 20 years later because of their dysfunctionality, sadly all 3 are divorced with kids run wild, health problems etc.  ‘My parents are getting fed up with his antics and I think it’s a matter of weeks before they snap and I get a call to say he’s left. He was involved in a car crash where as a passenger he was shunted from behind and had whiplash. The next evening he goes out from 10-2am and an exasperated grandmother lets him in.  ‘I went for an evening out with my family in the centre of a midlands city. As I was walking back to the car (approx 10.30pm) there was an ambulance ready with a stretcher. Just waiting. What a damning indictment that they expect carnage having seen it regularly, week after week.  That tragic tale of the 14 year old girl makes you want to weep. I realise that there may be a chance he comes to his senses but the world in which we live in has changed so dramatically I’m struggling to keep up with daily disbelief. I’ve been to 50 odd parties in the last 20 years and probably 3 out that there was a fight and today I hear it’s a regular occurrence. I see Punjabis in the midlands with turbans but a shaven beard. What idiots.  When I was about 17 there was a pretty Punjabi girl from a wealthy family at my college. There was a large presence of Muslims and Sikhs with the usual cliques and it was revealed she had a black boyfriend. He even collected her from college. Overnight she was castigated by everyone and within a few days she left and never returned. I don’t know what circumstances surrounded her life but today I don’t think nobody would raise an eyebrow.   
    • I KNOW I KNOW! Extremely old post but a link... Searchgurbani.com will answer this.  Home page, select 3 dot thing on top, click Dasam Granth, click prefered index search Punjabi or English and voila!  So far am reading Charitropakehyon, a few verses per day. 
    • When you are happy or laughing do you go asking for help? After all you are in those 'emotional states' temporarily before you are in another temporary state. They are caused by specific inputs (i.e a joke) that your 'wiring' interprets and responds to with an action like laughing, endorphin release etc. The same goes with 'anxiety' it's a product of your 'wiring' (or ego if you want to give a specific name, that voice inside your head, the me), and how it responds to stimuli / inputs. Does your eternal 'awareness' that observes the voice in your head suffer with anxiety, stress, laughter, joy etc? Nah. That was the way this fool dealt with emotions it didn't like. I (in a loose sense) just started to observe the emotions as a temporary thing that come and go, and if they deep down didn't make me better were just not welcome anymore in taking up my awareness. That voice in your head is not you. Read some Elkhart Tolle to understand a bit about that disfucntional voice in your head 
    • seems so ...maybe we can lift the good khalsa habits they have preserved and reintroduced them in our lives  such as that nitnemi attitude.

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