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Redoptics

Punjabi or Sikhi breaking ties with in-laws

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1 hour ago, Redoptics said:

Do not have a clue at the moment.

Your in-laws could be really upset about loosing their daughter. Did they really mean what they said to you? Maybe your going there is hard for them to deal with. We're they welcoming to you when you went there as a couple? 

Do you have parents? Or your own family to socialise with while you are grieving. 

 

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25 minutes ago, sikhni777 said:

Your in-laws could be really upset about loosing their daughter. Did they really mean what they said to you? Maybe your going there is hard for them to deal with. We're they welcoming to you when you went there as a couple? 

Do you have parents? Or your own family to socialise with while you are grieving. 

 

Could be ? They are really upset, what do you mean in regards to what they said?

I have great relationship with my in laws, so yes they were very welcoming to us. I have parents, so are you suggesting not going to see them or stay in contact?

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1 hour ago, Redoptics said:

Could be ? They are really upset, what do you mean in regards to what they said?

I have great relationship with my in laws, so yes they were very welcoming to us. I have parents, so are you suggesting not going to see them or stay in contact?

Just wondering - could your presence there be the reason they want to break ties. Do you remind them of their daughter. 

Sometimes people say things they don't mean. They might be too sad to realise what they said or they could have meant don't feel obliged. 

My husband has a different relationship with my parents - always complaining. So sorry if I am not completely able to relate to your situation. 

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58 minutes ago, sikhni777 said:

Just wondering - could your presence there be the reason they want to break ties. Do you remind them of their daughter. 

Sometimes people say things they don't mean. They might be too sad to realise what they said or they could have meant don't feel obliged. 

My husband has a different relationship with my parents - always complaining. So sorry if I am not completely able to relate to your situation. 

I think you have read my original post wrong, its people in my family not theirs, who suggested to break ties.

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1 hour ago, Redoptics said:

I think you have read my original post wrong, its people in my family not theirs, who suggested to break ties.

Thanks for the clarification, you said certain people so wasn't sure. 

Do whatever is comfortable for you. You are the one who is suffering the loss. You know best what heals you. 

It's easy for others to just talk. Maybe ask them why they think you should drop ties. If they give you a valid answer then make your own decision. Hope that helps. 

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On 1/21/2019 at 11:06 PM, jkvlondon said:

That is some messed up Hindu <banned word filter activated> superstition., your relatives pulled they should be ashamed of themselves .

They’re no longer my relatives. I won’t go into detail but my phurphurh had a life changing event which led to his death. His family blamed my bhua for everything. They were not nice people. 

7 hours ago, Redoptics said:

Do not have a clue at the moment.

That’s okay. In some ways. By staying connected to them, you may feel connected to your wife. On the other hand, it may hold you back from “moving on”. Everyone responds to death differently. I hope you’ve had support and counselling to aid you through a difficult time. 

6 hours ago, kcmidlands said:

I want to say i find this hard to believe but I've seen this kind first hand and it's absolutely disgusting. cutting off ties with your grand kids because your son has passed on shows what people's mentality is

I completely agree. They were not pleasant to deal with. When it came to the funeral, they wouldn’t tell my bhua where his body was nor where his ashes were cremated. 

 

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