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Guest Singh

In dilemma - faith and love

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Guest Singh

Waheguru ji ka khalsa, waheguru ji ki fateh sangat ji!

I have been coming to this forum to read about various things but this is the first time I'm posting anything, and it happens to be a request for the sangat's help on my dilemma.

I (24, male, non-amritdhaari) have been in a relationship with a non-Sikh girl for the past 1 year and 8 months. I have never been in any other relationship, neither have I ever thought I would ever be. I in fact used to think it is something not destined for me and I was content with having an arranged marriage as well. But I happened to meet this girl. I have always thought that this is the girl i want to marry and she too sees me as her future husband. I have been interested in Sikhi and wanting to grow my Sikhi since about the age of 18, trying to gain knowledge about it, but I never really was inclined to keep a rehat. It was until AFTER 1.25 years of ALREADY having been in this relationship, that with Guru's kirpa I realized that I need to actually maintain a rehat actively and I had this inner urge to follow Guru Sahib.

Now coming to my dilemma, I honestly love this girl and she loves me. But now that I'm trying to live my life the way our Guru has taught us, I have this doubt whether this relationship will be acceptable to Guru Sahib. Had I been already on the path of Sikhi seriously BEFORE meeting her, I would probably not look at any girl with those kind of prospects in mind. But I'm well past that stage now, and I do not want to hurt her by leaving her abruptly saying "my Guru does not want me to marry a Non-Sikh". She has supported me and does not have any qualms with me being serious within my SIkhi even though I was not "like this" when she started liking me. I want to earn the blessings of Guru maharaj but I do not know whether Guru Sahib would be happy with their Sikh breaking an innocent heart. My question is whether Guru maharaj deems it just to break the heart of the one you love if it is for the purpose of keeping rehit.

I want to reiterate the fact that I had been in love with her BEFORE I started trying to keep a rehat seriously. I want to hear what advice the sangat has for me. HUMBLY REQUEST YOU TO PLEASE PROVIDE GURBANI PANGTIS OR HISTORICAL EVIDENCES, WHICH YOU BASE YOUR ADVICE UPON. I would like to request you to be polite in your words if possible.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa, waheguru ji ki fateh!

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Your lucky you got a girl who didn't mind and supported you becoming a singh. Some females who call themselves "sikh" would dump you the second you tell them you gnna become a singh, but this girl stuck by you. 

Maybe other members with more experience can give you advise ...

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Brother,

there is a lot of negativity and ignorance spreaded  widely.

Just continue with with your relation and keep loving her sincerely, though talk to your parents openly and tell them of your plans in making this girl your life partner.

Petty minds are limited, so do not mind the world, for the world will always keep talking even if it has nothing to with them nor them having any ideas.

As far as Guru Jee is concerned,  He only wants us to not commit sins and love Him. 

To love Him, not because He is is selfish, but because in that lies our real welfare.

For by  only loving Him, can we reunite our soul with Him. So matter what we do, where we are, we should never ever forget Him.

He is that much concerned, for the rest, we have to become first human beings, and live a life with respect and kindness for all.

For our karmas are our sole responsibility.

If one is good, one attracts His blessings, but being wicked and a bully, one gets farther away from Him, for His Light is not only in sikhs but in all living consciouss beings.

As the Bani says: Sabna jeea ka Iko Daata

The  bodies are just coverings, but the reality in them as souls, is the same in all catses, creeds, colors or nationalities.

Humans divide, but His Love and blessings unite us as brotherhood/mankind.

There in the spiritual realms when one reaches by His grace alone, there are no sikhs, whites, browns, blacks or yellows, nor genders, nor anybody high or low... Only He, only Him. Waheguru Akal Purukh

Though it is also true, that by unpolluted sikhee being put into practice implicitly, one can reach Him.

You just accept whatever destiny has for you,  and leave everything  on Him, who knows, you may have to set / share your past karam  with her, so do it glady and live to your choice, without failing Him.

Who knows, maybe by His grace, she may at some point be interested into sikhee through you being an example of being a good sikh.

Cheer up bro, life is not to shut up oneself, but live it happily,  we are human beings, we need to love and get loved, it is just but natural.

Wish you the best of luck.

Stay blessed.

Sat Sree Akal.

 

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Would she join you as you grow in your Sikhi? Would she too embrace Sikhi and leave her previous faith? For me, that would be important. It’s something you will have to look at. 

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Guest Love
On ‎3‎/‎1‎/‎2019 at 1:28 PM, Guest Singh said:

Waheguru ji ka khalsa, waheguru ji ki fateh sangat ji!

I have been coming to this forum to read about various things but this is the first time I'm posting anything, and it happens to be a request for the sangat's help on my dilemma.

I (24, male, non-amritdhaari) have been in a relationship with a non-Sikh girl for the past 1 year and 8 months. I have never been in any other relationship, neither have I ever thought I would ever be. I in fact used to think it is something not destined for me and I was content with having an arranged marriage as well. But I happened to meet this girl. I have always thought that this is the girl i want to marry and she too sees me as her future husband. I have been interested in Sikhi and wanting to grow my Sikhi since about the age of 18, trying to gain knowledge about it, but I never really was inclined to keep a rehat. It was until AFTER 1.25 years of ALREADY having been in this relationship, that with Guru's kirpa I realized that I need to actually maintain a rehat actively and I had this inner urge to follow Guru Sahib.

Now coming to my dilemma, I honestly love this girl and she loves me. But now that I'm trying to live my life the way our Guru has taught us, I have this doubt whether this relationship will be acceptable to Guru Sahib. Had I been already on the path of Sikhi seriously BEFORE meeting her, I would probably not look at any girl with those kind of prospects in mind. But I'm well past that stage now, and I do not want to hurt her by leaving her abruptly saying "my Guru does not want me to marry a Non-Sikh". She has supported me and does not have any qualms with me being serious within my SIkhi even though I was not "like this" when she started liking me. I want to earn the blessings of Guru maharaj but I do not know whether Guru Sahib would be happy with their Sikh breaking an innocent heart. My question is whether Guru maharaj deems it just to break the heart of the one you love if it is for the purpose of keeping rehit.

I want to reiterate the fact that I had been in love with her BEFORE I started trying to keep a rehat seriously. I want to hear what advice the sangat has for me. HUMBLY REQUEST YOU TO PLEASE PROVIDE GURBANI PANGTIS OR HISTORICAL EVIDENCES, WHICH YOU BASE YOUR ADVICE UPON. I would like to request you to be polite in your words if possible.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa, waheguru ji ki fateh!

Why is this girl a sin in your eyes. You clearly liked her and saw her as a girl you'd like to marry. 

 

Why would the Guru deny you of love when Gurbani in its core and entire essence is all about Love. Love is beautiful, its not a sin. Is your girlfriend a bad person? Do you really think the Gurus would frown upon her when we are all One and they treated high and low alike as equals?

 

Sikhi has become so judgemental and obsessed with who is high and low, we've become like the brahmins who wouldn't go near untouchables. Yes we should avoid bad souls, but if your girlfriend is a good soul then there is really no issue here. 

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15 hours ago, Guest Love said:

Sikhi has become so judgemental and obsessed with who is high and low, we've become like the brahmins who wouldn't go near untouchables.

Yes we should avoid bad souls, but if your girlfriend is a good soul then there is really no issue here. 

just a fantastic post.

:clap::clap::clap:(y)

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Guest New

This sounds very similar to a situation I was in.  I am a Singh and met a south american girl. At that time I had an appreciation for Sikhi but by being with her, I became vegetarian, started waking up at amrit vela and over the course of a year, developed a huge thirst for amrit and becoming a Khalsa.

A few things to note from my experience:

1. Is she OK with raising your kids in sikhi with kes? 

2. Do you want to take amrit? If so, ask panj payare how they would feel about this.

3. To a lesser extent, what your family thinks.

It will get challenging like any other relationship. In tough times, take and follow Hukam for our dhan dhan satguru maharaj.

 

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Guest New2

This sounds very similar to a situation I was in.  I am a Singh and met a south american girl. At that time I had an appreciation for Sikhi but by being with her, I became vegetarian, started waking up at amrit vela and over the course of a year, developed a huge thirst for amrit and becoming a Khalsa.

A few things to note from my experience:

1. Is she OK with raising your kids in sikhi with kes? 

2. Do you want to take amrit? If so, ask panj payare how they would feel about this.

3. To a lesser extent, what your family thinks.

It will get challenging like any other relationship. In tough times, take and follow Hukam for our dhan dhan satguru maharaj.

 

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Guest Guest Singh

Thank you for your time and thought and insightful advice sangat ji...

Waheguru ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ki Fateh!

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