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Taking relationship further

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Guest Gupt

I’m in a relationship with a non-Sikh girl. We have been together for a while. She wants to take our relationship further by having sex. I want this too. We want to get married one day but just not yet. If we’re committed to being together, can we still have sex before marriage? 

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2 hours ago, Guest Gupt said:

I’m in a relationship with a non-Sikh girl. We have been together for a while. She wants to take our relationship further by having sex. I want this too. We want to get married one day but just not yet. If we’re committed to being together, can we still have sex before marriage? 

Are you asking if our religion permits pre-martial relationship?
I think you know the answer. It does not allow regardless of whether you will married to the same person or not. 

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Premarital sex, irrespective of whether you intend to get married or not, is still premarital sex. This is not condoned in Sikhi. 

There have been countless threads on here about people who have been in relationships, had sex, and then not ending up getting married for whatever reason. Maybe the parents didn’t agree. Maybe it just didn’t work out. 

How would you feel about it all if it turned out you two didn’t get married?

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Guest Gupt

@WickedWarrior I understand where you’re coming from and only God knows whether we’ll be destined to get married. If we don’t get married then it just wasn’t meant to be. 

But I can’t seem to get my head around what is wrong with premarital sex. Lots of people do it and I’m not saying those who sleep around with numerous partners but ones who are committed to one partner enjoy this amazing connection. I just don’t understand what is wrong with it?? 

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On 3/23/2019 at 8:56 PM, Guest Gupt said:

 

But I can’t seem to get my head around what is wrong with premarital sex. Lots of people do it and I’m not saying those who sleep around with numerous partners but ones who are committed to one partner enjoy this amazing connection. I just don’t understand what is wrong with it?? 

Then why are you asking? If it's  just like choosing a brand of toothpaste, why even ask?

Or, when you say you don't understand, does that mean that no one has told you why sex out of marriage is wrong, or people have and you reject that?

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On 3/23/2019 at 10:50 PM, Guest Gupt said:

I’m in a relationship with a non-Sikh girl. We have been together for a while. She wants to take our relationship further by having sex. I want this too. We want to get married one day but just not yet. If we’re committed to being together, can we still have sex before marriage? 

Why don't you marry each other if you feel so strongly about each other? Just asking.

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On 3/23/2019 at 10:50 PM, Guest Gupt said:

We want to get married one day but just not yet. If we’re committed to being together, can we still have sex before marriage? 

if you think you are ready for sex, why do you not want to get married "just yet"?  or, if you are committed to being together, why don't you get married?  or why don't you wait until you are married.

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On 3/24/2019 at 3:56 AM, Guest Gupt said:

@WickedWarrior I understand where you’re coming from and only God knows whether we’ll be destined to get married. If we don’t get married then it just wasn’t meant to be. 

But I can’t seem to get my head around what is wrong with premarital sex. Lots of people do it and I’m not saying those who sleep around with numerous partners but ones who are committed to one partner enjoy this amazing connection. I just don’t understand what is wrong with it?? 

so marriage is may not be "meant to be" but your sexual relationship definitely is?

saying "lots of people do it" is not intelligent (or even valid) reasoning .  

you are a human being not a dog.  you should live in a civil and controlled manner and have moral standards, because actions have consequences (though your hot head may not want to process that right now).  these moral precepts are there to protect you both, not "oppress you".  basically you are just using another person for pleasure, and leaving the door open to walk away from it with you're bored or find someone else.  one person of the other is going to get hurt.

if you get married to someone else, are you ready to admit to that person what you did with this woman?   if you are sitting with your marriage partner, and this woman comes and sit close by, you wont feel embarrassed by the intimacy you had with her?  it wont affect the sense of intimacy you feel with your wife, that you had that intimacy with someone else?

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