Jump to content

Parent's are setting me back in my Sikhi


Guest khalsasingh101
 Share

Recommended Posts

Guest khalsasingh101

From a young age I was always active within my Gurdwara commuity, and with Maharaj's kirpa and my Mahapurakh's help, I have been able to retain that and also become Amritdhari. After I became amritdhari, I developed immense love for Maharaj, which my parents were unfamiliar with, and it seems as if whenever I want do to something Sikhi-related, they become reluctant and say 'focus on your exams'. Due to me having GCSE's coming up, I wanted to do a formal ardaas to Maharaj with a granthi and I asked my mom,(after doing around 2 hours of revision), if I could go, She went "whats an ardaas going to do for you, stop with all this nonsense and do revision". Sangat Ji, I need some advice on what I should do to resolve this ongoing conflict.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest guest

lol.  you sound like a very serious youth (i mean that as a compliment- it's good).

you come across as quite intelligent- for example you explained clearly and straightforwardly.  so you are a good communicator.  (compare your post to other posts on here!) 

so just discuss it with them in a reassuring and calm manner.  reassuring means explaining that it does not interfere with or hinder your studies, and that you measure it out (e.g. plan around you revision, so it is in no way neglected).  

look at from their perspective.  suddenly you are acting very different to what they expect.  your beliefs may be a bit more serious.  they are probably worried about the direction your life is going in.  ask they to openly express their worries with you, so you can correct any wrong assumptions/fears they have.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That’s utter pants. I can’t believe your parents are holding you back. Parents should be guiding their children in Sikhi, and if they are failing in this, they are doing a disservice to Guru Ji. 

Do your own Ardaas. Do it daily, morning and night. If you have prem for Maharaj Ji, He will hear your prayer no matter where you are. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Parents do stop you sometimes though. When I first started keeping my hair my dad wasn't that pleased and said I don't have to and said that it's the inside that matters. A then tried started keeping my dhari soon after and he turned around and said that I look like a musla and that i should trim it.   He don't bother me now because he knows I'm really into it,  he's also seen how messed up other peoples kids are turning out so he just let's me be.  

Parents can really become a obstacle sometimes,  "sikhs" themselves are destroying sikhi. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Similar problem here where my parents want me to focus more on studies than on sikhi.I can't even do any simran or path when they are around,and when I do it's never aloud and I try my best not be seen doing it in front of them.The problem is they mock me when it's convenient or inflate my ego making harder for me by telling relatives and every other person they can show off to. Another huge issue is that they "don't have time" to take me to the gurdwara,and frankly I don't want to keep constantly depending on them for that for the same reason I can't enjoy simran with them present.Always in katha,I hear that sewa is the grindstone to building the love to further your sikhi and progress,sewa builds sharda,and wipes away so many of your bad karams.Having darshan,doing sewa and having sangat of maharaj on a hopefully daily basis would make life much easier in the war over the mind. That's another very key thing which our youth lack nowadays;that relationship with our guru which lack of makes sikhi harder until your old enough to drive by yourself (once you get your own car and parental approval) to your local gurdwara. I feel like I could've done much much more progress in sikhi within the past 5 years if I could've even spent an hour or 2 at my gurdwara 2-3 times a week. It makes a drastic difference as I am now coming to realize.

As for advice,don't disrespect your parents but present your stance firmly and present your arguments.Don't do whatever typically makes them mad or triggers their attitude like maybe speaking too loud and aggressively or in a certain tone,because you'll probably end up in a worse situation than what you started with.It should be in a way which is calm,orderly but they should know your being serious and they should be listening attentively. I find it concerning that she said: "whats an ardaas going to do for you, stop with all this nonsense and do revision".Only you would know your parents well enough on how you could best respond to that according to how easily they get insulted/offended. You could always do ardaas on your own as already recommended above or convince your parents. The important thing which is key to ardaas is sharda,but I think you already know that. 

It's saddening because everyone wants the panth to be better or they want someone else to come along and make it more chardikala but that enthusiasm usually disappears when it means that their own children have to make sacrifices for that to happen.Just keep going,don't be afraid to let go and fall into maharaj's lap,hopefully maharaj keeps you on this path,and hopefully it takes you to great heights.    

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 4/21/2019 at 6:51 AM, Guest khalsasingh101 said:

From a young age I was always active within my Gurdwara commuity, and with Maharaj's kirpa and my Mahapurakh's help, I have been able to retain that and also become Amritdhari. After I became amritdhari, I developed immense love for Maharaj, which my parents were unfamiliar with, and it seems as if whenever I want do to something Sikhi-related, they become reluctant and say 'focus on your exams'. Due to me having GCSE's coming up, I wanted to do a formal ardaas to Maharaj with a granthi and I asked my mom,(after doing around 2 hours of revision), if I could go, She went "whats an ardaas going to do for you, stop with all this nonsense and do revision". Sangat Ji, I need some advice on what I should do to resolve this ongoing conflict.

You should have had a discussion with them when u became amritdhari. But u can have it now. Tell them as you know i am an amridhari and that means i have obligations to fulfill. I have to do certain things now that I have enrolled into the True Gurus school. 

If u dont like it or agree with it, I am sorry, but I cant go back now. Its too late i have already given my word and my head. 

But i do understand that you would have concerns. I promise not to do anything without informing u first. I always give importance to studying. But for now, sikhi is my passion, could i please indulge in it? Other kids play video games, go partying, i would like to be able to

  1. . If your parents say we dont have time to take u to gurudwara or we can say whatever we want. Then accept it and bargain with them. Like please just once a week and I will

Ofc as ur parents, they have the final say. Accept it with humility and grace and maybe try later or do ardaas abt this and leave it in wahegurus hands. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest khalsasingh101

It's not as if they dont like me being a gursikh... I still manage to go gurdwara 4-5 times a week and perform kirtan. I think they are scared that I will dedicate my whole life to sikhi, and forget about education,family,etc. For example, my thaye da munda,(first cousin), is who inspired me to become a gursikh, he does seva, kirtan, rauls, you name it everyday at the gurdwara and my parents frequently say "tu odhe vangu bann jna,(you will become like him). He truely has Maharaj's kirpa and has alot of sharda for our mahapurakh, hence why he has become an IT specialist, but still my parents don't seem to understand that along with sikhi, worldy desires will chase you...:(

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 4/21/2019 at 4:51 PM, Guest khalsasingh101 said:

From a young age I was always active within my Gurdwara commuity, and with Maharaj's kirpa and my Mahapurakh's help, I have been able to retain that and also become Amritdhari. After I became amritdhari, I developed immense love for Maharaj, which my parents were unfamiliar with, and it seems as if whenever I want do to something Sikhi-related, they become reluctant and say 'focus on your exams'. Due to me having GCSE's coming up, I wanted to do a formal ardaas to Maharaj with a granthi and I asked my mom,(after doing around 2 hours of revision), if I could go, She went "whats an ardaas going to do for you, stop with all this nonsense and do revision". Sangat Ji, I need some advice on what I should do to resolve this ongoing conflict.

Do what you want. Go to the Gurdwarta alone and do ardas or get an ardas done, it's the same. It being done for u and you doing it yourself. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 4/21/2019 at 2:51 PM, Guest khalsasingh101 said:

 I wanted to do a formal ardaas to Maharaj with a granthi and I asked my mom,(after doing around 2 hours of revision), if I could go, She went "whats an ardaas going to do for you, stop with all this nonsense and do revision". Sangat Ji, I need some advice on what I should do to resolve this ongoing conflict.

If you cannot reach a gurdwara, you can instead do ardaas to shastar as well. Remember as a Singh, shastar is also our pir and we do matha tek to shashatr.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share

  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt


  • Topics

  • Posts

    • yeh it's true, we shouldn't be lazy and need to learn jhatka shikaar. It doesn't help some of grew up in surrounding areas like Slough and Southall where everyone thought it was super bad for amrit dharis to eat meat, and they were following Sant babas and jathas, and instead the Singhs should have been normalising jhatka just like the recent world war soldiers did. We are trying to rectifiy this and khalsa should learn jhatka.  But I am just writing about bhog for those that are still learning rehit. As I explained, there are all these negative influences in the panth that talk against rehit, but this shouldn't deter us from taking khanda pahul, no matter what level of rehit we are!
    • How is it going to help? The link is of a Sikh hunter. Fine, but what good does that do the lazy Sikh who ate khulla maas in a restaurant? By the way, for the OP, yes, it's against rehit to eat khulla maas.
    • Yeah, Sikhs should do bhog of food they eat. But the point of bhog is to only do bhog of food which is fit to be presented to Maharaj. It's not maryada to do bhog of khulla maas and pretend it's OK to eat. It's not. Come on, bro, you should know better than to bring this Sakhi into it. Is this Sikh in the restaurant accompanied by Guru Gobind Singh ji? Is he fighting a dharam yudh? Or is he merely filling his belly with the nearest restaurant?  Please don't make a mockery of our puratan Singhs' sacrifices by comparing them to lazy Sikhs who eat khulla maas.
    • Seriously?? The Dhadi is trying to be cute. For those who didn't get it, he said: "Some say Maharaj killed bakras (goats). Some say he cut the heads of the Panj Piyaras. The truth is that they weren't goats. It was she-goats (ਬਕਰੀਆਂ). He jhatka'd she-goats. Not he-goats." Wow. This is possibly the stupidest thing I've ever heard in relation to Sikhi.
    • Instead of a 9 inch or larger kirpan, take a smaller kirpan and put it (without gatra) inside your smaller turban and tie the turban tightly. This keeps a kirpan on your person without interfering with the massage or alarming the masseuse. I'm not talking about a trinket but rather an actual small kirpan that fits in a sheath (you'll have to search to find one). As for ahem, "problems", you could get a male masseuse. I don't know where you are, but in most places there are professional masseuses who actually know what they are doing and can really relieve your muscle pains.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use