Jump to content
Guest HomoSapien

Let's face it

Recommended Posts

Guest HomoSapien

Warm greetings to all the readers, only in case the moderator finds the concepts of Sikhism strong enough to answer my thoughts that I am about to share. I am a sabat-surat sikh and I love tying my turban. I know I look good in a turban and I love the community that I am fortunately a part of. I love how we have truly become one of the most vital communities in maintaining peace on the planet.

I had never been bothered by the history. I respected and was completely in condolence with what happened with our community in the last 3 decades in India after the events that took place in 1984 and I am no one to judge what went wrong and what went right. I never thought that the past of our community would decide the future of where we are taking Sikhism. But apparently, this is not the case. The more I explore the world, the more I come across the extremism that is going on in our people. I have always thought of myself as a normal human being, who belongs to the global community. Where my physical traits are not of much significance relative to my intellect. But this is clearly not the case. I am a sikh. And there are people who want to make us stand different than the global community. I am not sure if that's the right direction for any community to be. may it be Sikhs, the Muslims, the Jews, the Hindus or even the Christians. 

Clearing that out, I thought of myself as a normal human being until now. Someone with no limitations. Someone who can achieve anything by trying hard and putting effort on the cost of hard work and intellect. I have been in to the practice of meditation since 3 years. And this also has helped me understand Gurbani in a deeper way and feel more connected to the supreme consciousness. But there are some issues concerning me since more than 10 months now. I hope you guys can help me out.

I work in a corporate environment, and I have been a very passionate student. I used to work for late hours in my college time and that has helped me make a good position on my professional front relative to my classmates. But due to some boundaries that have been defined in the education system, I wasn't able to get into the career position that I had always worked for. And that needs a lot of time and dedication. And that brings me to the point of this post. 

But before that, do you wonder the comfort level of a bride who is been dressed for the wedding with the heavy Joda and the accessories, plus the make-up and the head cover pinned with the hair (mostly a hairstyle that makes the head look in better shape to be covered with the dupatta of the joda). You guys know that such a dressed bride cannot even lay on bed for a nap if she needs. Her hairstyle would get spoilt. She cannot even cry properly due to the makeup. She cannot even think of washing her face with cold water if she feels hot. She cannot ride a fast speed bike and much more. And if I talk about adventure sports, you'd say I am insane. Right? We all have sympathies with such a girl on her wedding day for the torture that she faces in the name of dressing beautifully. Of course, she looks pretty. And she likes to feel like a queen on her special day. But she'd rather prefer not marrying if she has to carry the same torture everyday.


Now, I hope you can relate the same with a sikh boy. Who has to take an extra 1 hour to get ready everyday. And then put himself in limitations for the whole day. I'll share what 99% of the sikh boys with sabat-surat personality in a fast working environment face. If someone has to put extra hours during the night for his personal growth(which can be extra learning for professional growth or some kind of a hobby that he follows), he still has to make it right at 6 o'lock in the morning if he wants to reach office by 9. This 3 hour gap only includes getting ready and having breakfast. I hardly see a working sabat-surat guy taking time for his basic needs in the morning like gyming and meditating and worshiping and having breakfast after tying a comfortable turban and beard comfortably all together and still reaching office in time. To make this happen, I have been skipping my breakfast everyday right from my childhood when I used to tie my patka and it used to take more than one trials sometimes to tie a comfortable and a neat patka. Then while riding off to the office on a 6 lane highway on my bike, the fear of getting my turban blown off exceeding a speed of 50 comes into play(I am not sure how many people have experienced it). Also, since wearing a helmet is not an option, the tan on the forehead has to be faced because the hankerchief cover only half of the face. 

Reaching the office, I finally deal with the discomfort of the last lard upon my ear which demands to be adjusted every 5 mins when I need to focus on a really sophisticated piece of code with full concentration. and adjusting the larh, I need to go to the washroom every 1 hour to see if I have not accidentally deformed my turban. And sometimes, I get a complimentary headache along. And if you are saying that the turban is not the cause of the ache, I agree with you. but it adds to the pain and if you deny that, I am not sure if you are human. And this brings off the first half of the day with struggle.
I have been an athlete when I was a kid, jumping off, participating in gymnastics and what not. I still am in a nice health due to the habits that I have been able to cultivate as a child. But maintaining all of those is now becoming very tough. Working in office for more than 11 hours everyday that too in an exhausting manner as mentioned in the previous paragraph, and knowing that only reaching home and resting with a free head atleast could comfort you, you cannot have the courage to spend an hour in the office gym wearing the turban, where almost every excercize that you do would come with a fear of not spoiling your turban, and worse, you can't think of doing cardio and let your turban absorb all the sweat so that you are not eligible for social gatherings with the same sweaty and uncomfortable turban which stinks. My fellow mates can afford to go to the gym in the morning when all they have to do is wake up and brush their teeth and leave for the office gym. The workout and take a bath in the gym itself. I can't even think of doing that knowing my chores that include tying my beard with a spray and a hairdryer and also the complete course of tying the turban and that too in proper light and electricity and proper space. We don't find that in the gym. I have missed a lot of days of my excercise only because of the discomfort that I feel with the turban or the days when some strands from my beard would strangely come out and instantly make me loose all my confidence for the rest of the day or some days when my turban would be in an uncomfortable shape... no matter how much urge I feel to work out. It happens. Ever wondered why most sikh guys are out of shape? We are not made for the regular healthcare efforts. We have an additional burden to handle all the time. I know some of you would say that I should try tying a parna or a dumala for workout, but in a corporate setting when I am not sure about the meetings that have to happen and I am not sure about the formal dress code, I cannot tie the same parna everyday. ie. It gives a tradeoff between having a good corporate look or a sporty comfort for gym, I have to choose one. Isn't that clearly a limited way of living? Some of you must be managing it. I too occassionaly tie a mini turban the day I want to have a good workout. Some of you guys would be using the local gym in your colony and would be going there after returning from office and trying a parna or a cap. But in a place where commuting between the office and home takes 1.5 hour, I don't think would fit my schedule.

I was always fascinated by skydiving. As I child I would imagine myself falling in the winds without any limits of what actually would be the scenario. But now, I am having a difficult time to decide the kind of turban I would wear when I would be on a trip with my better half without compromising my personality. And yes, I have a hindu girlfriend who like me the way I am and doesn't ever want me to cut my hair. There fore, I had thought be keeping my wish of skydiving as a wish only. I thought I would never choose to go for such adventure sports and hoped that I would never get an opportunity. But my company is sending me to US with my team for a conference where all of us would also be having a tour and skydiving is in the intenary. I am doomed.

Yes, I know guru maharaj and many other martyrs sacrificed a lot for the community. I should be ashamed of thinking the way I am thinking. 
But you see, when we talk about this with some one they say that they gave their lives for 'hair'  ignoring the fact that all that mattered to them were 'principles' in which keeping hair was just another factor. There's difference between the two statements. I hope you know that. And most of the hype comes from the females who don't face such issues because no matter if a girl has cut her hair or not, keeping it requires the same efforts as a hindu girl would do. And we all know, most of the sikh girls now a days, freely trim their hair and make hype if a sikh boy does the same. 

And If we think philosophically, the martyrs sacrificed their lives once and for all and became eternal, but we guys are doing such sacrifices everyday by limiting our lives and living in discomfort and limits. I don't find it fair enough. 
We all know that turban destroys the hairline. Aren't we modifying the nature's course by the turban's traction instead of scissors?

I won't cut my hair. I don't have the courage to face the taunts of my relatives and the sadness of my parents. Moreover, the damage that has happened to my hair can't be reversed, so theirs no use of cutting it. 

But one thing is for sure that I am unable to respect this concept in our religion. And I would forever find it unfair...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest jigsaw-puzzled-singh

That's the trouble with copy and pasting innit mate  ^ .....the font style and colour suddenly changes mid-way and there's nothing you can do about it

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Guest

That's the truth being said... and no replies for this fellow who has written down all his thoughts and struggle in the post.

Someone please help this guy, this is something serious. I am not sure about everything else that you said, but I agree with this:

On 5/9/2019 at 1:15 AM, Guest HomoSapien said:

And most of the hype comes from the females who don't face such issues because no matter if a girl has cut her hair or not, keeping it requires the same efforts as a hindu girl would do. And we all know, most of the sikh girls now a days, freely trim their hair and make hype if a sikh boy does the same. 



And this hit really hard:
 

On 5/9/2019 at 1:15 AM, Guest HomoSapien said:

And If we think philosophically, the martyrs sacrificed their lives once and for all and became eternal, but we guys are doing such sacrifices everyday by limiting our lives and living in discomfort and limits. I don't find it fair enough. 
We all know that turban destroys the hairline. Aren't we modifying the nature's course by the turban's traction instead of scissors?


 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Priorities
On 5/8/2019 at 8:45 PM, Guest HomoSapien said:

Warm greetings to all the readers, only in case the moderator finds the concepts of Sikhism strong enough to answer my thoughts that I am about to share. I am a sabat-surat sikh and I love tying my turban. I know I look good in a turban and I love the community that I am fortunately a part of. I love how we have truly become one of the most vital communities in maintaining peace on the planet.

I had never been bothered by the history. I respected and was completely in condolence with what happened with our community in the last 3 decades in India after the events that took place in 1984 and I am no one to judge what went wrong and what went right. I never thought that the past of our community would decide the future of where we are taking Sikhism. But apparently, this is not the case. The more I explore the world, the more I come across the extremism that is going on in our people. I have always thought of myself as a normal human being, who belongs to the global community. Where my physical traits are not of much significance relative to my intellect. But this is clearly not the case. I am a sikh. And there are people who want to make us stand different than the global community. I am not sure if that's the right direction for any community to be. may it be Sikhs, the Muslims, the Jews, the Hindus or even the Christians. 

Clearing that out, I thought of myself as a normal human being until now. Someone with no limitations. Someone who can achieve anything by trying hard and putting effort on the cost of hard work and intellect. I have been in to the practice of meditation since 3 years. And this also has helped me understand Gurbani in a deeper way and feel more connected to the supreme consciousness. But there are some issues concerning me since more than 10 months now. I hope you guys can help me out.

I work in a corporate environment, and I have been a very passionate student. I used to work for late hours in my college time and that has helped me make a good position on my professional front relative to my classmates. But due to some boundaries that have been defined in the education system, I wasn't able to get into the career position that I had always worked for. And that needs a lot of time and dedication. And that brings me to the point of this post. 

But before that, do you wonder the comfort level of a bride who is been dressed for the wedding with the heavy Joda and the accessories, plus the make-up and the head cover pinned with the hair (mostly a hairstyle that makes the head look in better shape to be covered with the dupatta of the joda). You guys know that such a dressed bride cannot even lay on bed for a nap if she needs. Her hairstyle would get spoilt. She cannot even cry properly due to the makeup. She cannot even think of washing her face with cold water if she feels hot. She cannot ride a fast speed bike and much more. And if I talk about adventure sports, you'd say I am insane. Right? We all have sympathies with such a girl on her wedding day for the torture that she faces in the name of dressing beautifully. Of course, she looks pretty. And she likes to feel like a queen on her special day. But she'd rather prefer not marrying if she has to carry the same torture everyday.


Now, I hope you can relate the same with a sikh boy. Who has to take an extra 1 hour to get ready everyday. And then put himself in limitations for the whole day. I'll share what 99% of the sikh boys with sabat-surat personality in a fast working environment face. If someone has to put extra hours during the night for his personal growth(which can be extra learning for professional growth or some kind of a hobby that he follows), he still has to make it right at 6 o'lock in the morning if he wants to reach office by 9. This 3 hour gap only includes getting ready and having breakfast. I hardly see a working sabat-surat guy taking time for his basic needs in the morning like gyming and meditating and worshiping and having breakfast after tying a comfortable turban and beard comfortably all together and still reaching office in time. To make this happen, I have been skipping my breakfast everyday right from my childhood when I used to tie my patka and it used to take more than one trials sometimes to tie a comfortable and a neat patka. Then while riding off to the office on a 6 lane highway on my bike, the fear of getting my turban blown off exceeding a speed of 50 comes into play(I am not sure how many people have experienced it). Also, since wearing a helmet is not an option, the tan on the forehead has to be faced because the hankerchief cover only half of the face. 

Reaching the office, I finally deal with the discomfort of the last lard upon my ear which demands to be adjusted every 5 mins when I need to focus on a really sophisticated piece of code with full concentration. and adjusting the larh, I need to go to the washroom every 1 hour to see if I have not accidentally deformed my turban. And sometimes, I get a complimentary headache along. And if you are saying that the turban is not the cause of the ache, I agree with you. but it adds to the pain and if you deny that, I am not sure if you are human. And this brings off the first half of the day with struggle.
I have been an athlete when I was a kid, jumping off, participating in gymnastics and what not. I still am in a nice health due to the habits that I have been able to cultivate as a child. But maintaining all of those is now becoming very tough. Working in office for more than 11 hours everyday that too in an exhausting manner as mentioned in the previous paragraph, and knowing that only reaching home and resting with a free head atleast could comfort you, you cannot have the courage to spend an hour in the office gym wearing the turban, where almost every excercize that you do would come with a fear of not spoiling your turban, and worse, you can't think of doing cardio and let your turban absorb all the sweat so that you are not eligible for social gatherings with the same sweaty and uncomfortable turban which stinks. My fellow mates can afford to go to the gym in the morning when all they have to do is wake up and brush their teeth and leave for the office gym. The workout and take a bath in the gym itself. I can't even think of doing that knowing my chores that include tying my beard with a spray and a hairdryer and also the complete course of tying the turban and that too in proper light and electricity and proper space. We don't find that in the gym. I have missed a lot of days of my excercise only because of the discomfort that I feel with the turban or the days when some strands from my beard would strangely come out and instantly make me loose all my confidence for the rest of the day or some days when my turban would be in an uncomfortable shape... no matter how much urge I feel to work out. It happens. Ever wondered why most sikh guys are out of shape? We are not made for the regular healthcare efforts. We have an additional burden to handle all the time. I know some of you would say that I should try tying a parna or a dumala for workout, but in a corporate setting when I am not sure about the meetings that have to happen and I am not sure about the formal dress code, I cannot tie the same parna everyday. ie. It gives a tradeoff between having a good corporate look or a sporty comfort for gym, I have to choose one. Isn't that clearly a limited way of living? Some of you must be managing it. I too occassionaly tie a mini turban the day I want to have a good workout. Some of you guys would be using the local gym in your colony and would be going there after returning from office and trying a parna or a cap. But in a place where commuting between the office and home takes 1.5 hour, I don't think would fit my schedule.

I was always fascinated by skydiving. As I child I would imagine myself falling in the winds without any limits of what actually would be the scenario. But now, I am having a difficult time to decide the kind of turban I would wear when I would be on a trip with my better half without compromising my personality. And yes, I have a hindu girlfriend who like me the way I am and doesn't ever want me to cut my hair. There fore, I had thought be keeping my wish of skydiving as a wish only. I thought I would never choose to go for such adventure sports and hoped that I would never get an opportunity. But my company is sending me to US with my team for a conference where all of us would also be having a tour and skydiving is in the intenary. I am doomed.

Yes, I know guru maharaj and many other martyrs sacrificed a lot for the community. I should be ashamed of thinking the way I am thinking. 
But you see, when we talk about this with some one they say that they gave their lives for 'hair'  ignoring the fact that all that mattered to them were 'principles' in which keeping hair was just another factor. There's difference between the two statements. I hope you know that. And most of the hype comes from the females who don't face such issues because no matter if a girl has cut her hair or not, keeping it requires the same efforts as a hindu girl would do. And we all know, most of the sikh girls now a days, freely trim their hair and make hype if a sikh boy does the same. 

And If we think philosophically, the martyrs sacrificed their lives once and for all and became eternal, but we guys are doing such sacrifices everyday by limiting our lives and living in discomfort and limits. I don't find it fair enough. 
We all know that turban destroys the hairline. Aren't we modifying the nature's course by the turban's traction instead of scissors?

I won't cut my hair. I don't have the courage to face the taunts of my relatives and the sadness of my parents. Moreover, the damage that has happened to my hair can't be reversed, so theirs no use of cutting it. 

But one thing is for sure that I am unable to respect this concept in our religion. And I would forever find it unfair...

I havent read your post in detail so forgive me if im being rude, its not my intention. Im perhaps not responding to you personally but making an observation generally.

We take about whats natural and the time it takes and inconveniences of managing kakkars, turban , hair and nitnem etc. 

Ppl say oit takes 3 hours to get ready, and hard to do go through the work day. Actually the corporate world is not natural, our work life balance isnt natural. Works long hours as a labourer is also nit natural. Humans are subjected to working so they can pay taxes and fund large corporations and live in the system.  

Life is suppose to be free and humans have created a system in which they disregard their body, their spirit, cut hair on their head for convenience and on the body, eat processed food for quickness, work like a slave for their whole life. Be subjected to the system, drink alcohol to forget, try to be same as the norm to fit in, enjoy random relationships, then repeat all again. The Guru gives us a different path. 

We do hav a choice what path we want to follow.

 What im trying to say is we can make changes in life to suit our lifestyle aswell. Instead of just thinking saroop is a burden.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Internal
On 5/8/2019 at 12:45 PM, Guest HomoSapien said:

Warm greetings to all the readers, only in case the moderator finds the concepts of Sikhism strong enough to answer my thoughts that I am about to share. I am a sabat-surat sikh and I love tying my turban. I know I look good in a turban and I love the community that I am fortunately a part of. I love how we have truly become one of the most vital communities in maintaining peace on the planet......

Be pure internally, that’s what matters. External appearance doesn’t mean much. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, Guest Internal said:

Be pure internally, that’s what matters. External appearance doesn’t mean much. 

As per theory then being nude like a caveman is perfectly fine as well as long as you are pure from within. Then again it depends on your analogy of "Being Pure". 

Anyway, OP - You need to find more about sikh dharam. Just being in the shape of a sikh is not enough and eventually our mind will clash over the simplest things. Gurbani says "Mun jeetay, jag jeet" when we conquer our mind/soul then we win everything. When you are in peace with Gurbani, nothing matters and you get answers of all of your questions.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 5/8/2019 at 8:45 PM, Guest HomoSapien said:

Warm greetings to all the readers, only in case the moderator finds the concepts of Sikhism strong enough to answer my thoughts that I am about to share. I am a sabat-surat sikh and I love tying my turban. I know I look good in a turban and I love the community that I am fortunately a part of. I love how we have truly become one of the most vital communities in maintaining peace on the planet.

I had never been bothered by the history. I respected and was completely in condolence with what happened with our community in the last 3 decades in India after the events that took place in 1984 and I am no one to judge what went wrong and what went right. I never thought that the past of our community would decide the future of where we are taking Sikhism. But apparently, this is not the case. The more I explore the world, the more I come across the extremism that is going on in our people. I have always thought of myself as a normal human being, who belongs to the global community. Where my physical traits are not of much significance relative to my intellect. But this is clearly not the case. I am a sikh. And there are people who want to make us stand different than the global community. I am not sure if that's the right direction for any community to be. may it be Sikhs, the Muslims, the Jews, the Hindus or even the Christians. 

Clearing that out, I thought of myself as a normal human being until now. Someone with no limitations. Someone who can achieve anything by trying hard and putting effort on the cost of hard work and intellect. I have been in to the practice of meditation since 3 years. And this also has helped me understand Gurbani in a deeper way and feel more connected to the supreme consciousness. But there are some issues concerning me since more than 10 months now. I hope you guys can help me out.

I work in a corporate environment, and I have been a very passionate student. I used to work for late hours in my college time and that has helped me make a good position on my professional front relative to my classmates. But due to some boundaries that have been defined in the education system, I wasn't able to get into the career position that I had always worked for. And that needs a lot of time and dedication. And that brings me to the point of this post. 

But before that, do you wonder the comfort level of a bride who is been dressed for the wedding with the heavy Joda and the accessories, plus the make-up and the head cover pinned with the hair (mostly a hairstyle that makes the head look in better shape to be covered with the dupatta of the joda). You guys know that such a dressed bride cannot even lay on bed for a nap if she needs. Her hairstyle would get spoilt. She cannot even cry properly due to the makeup. She cannot even think of washing her face with cold water if she feels hot. She cannot ride a fast speed bike and much more. And if I talk about adventure sports, you'd say I am insane. Right? We all have sympathies with such a girl on her wedding day for the torture that she faces in the name of dressing beautifully. Of course, she looks pretty. And she likes to feel like a queen on her special day. But she'd rather prefer not marrying if she has to carry the same torture everyday.


Now, I hope you can relate the same with a sikh boy. Who has to take an extra 1 hour to get ready everyday. And then put himself in limitations for the whole day. I'll share what 99% of the sikh boys with sabat-surat personality in a fast working environment face. If someone has to put extra hours during the night for his personal growth(which can be extra learning for professional growth or some kind of a hobby that he follows), he still has to make it right at 6 o'lock in the morning if he wants to reach office by 9. This 3 hour gap only includes getting ready and having breakfast. I hardly see a working sabat-surat guy taking time for his basic needs in the morning like gyming and meditating and worshiping and having breakfast after tying a comfortable turban and beard comfortably all together and still reaching office in time. To make this happen, I have been skipping my breakfast everyday right from my childhood when I used to tie my patka and it used to take more than one trials sometimes to tie a comfortable and a neat patka. Then while riding off to the office on a 6 lane highway on my bike, the fear of getting my turban blown off exceeding a speed of 50 comes into play(I am not sure how many people have experienced it). Also, since wearing a helmet is not an option, the tan on the forehead has to be faced because the hankerchief cover only half of the face. 

Reaching the office, I finally deal with the discomfort of the last lard upon my ear which demands to be adjusted every 5 mins when I need to focus on a really sophisticated piece of code with full concentration. and adjusting the larh, I need to go to the washroom every 1 hour to see if I have not accidentally deformed my turban. And sometimes, I get a complimentary headache along. And if you are saying that the turban is not the cause of the ache, I agree with you. but it adds to the pain and if you deny that, I am not sure if you are human. And this brings off the first half of the day with struggle.
I have been an athlete when I was a kid, jumping off, participating in gymnastics and what not. I still am in a nice health due to the habits that I have been able to cultivate as a child. But maintaining all of those is now becoming very tough. Working in office for more than 11 hours everyday that too in an exhausting manner as mentioned in the previous paragraph, and knowing that only reaching home and resting with a free head atleast could comfort you, you cannot have the courage to spend an hour in the office gym wearing the turban, where almost every excercize that you do would come with a fear of not spoiling your turban, and worse, you can't think of doing cardio and let your turban absorb all the sweat so that you are not eligible for social gatherings with the same sweaty and uncomfortable turban which stinks. My fellow mates can afford to go to the gym in the morning when all they have to do is wake up and brush their teeth and leave for the office gym. The workout and take a bath in the gym itself. I can't even think of doing that knowing my chores that include tying my beard with a spray and a hairdryer and also the complete course of tying the turban and that too in proper light and electricity and proper space. We don't find that in the gym. I have missed a lot of days of my excercise only because of the discomfort that I feel with the turban or the days when some strands from my beard would strangely come out and instantly make me loose all my confidence for the rest of the day or some days when my turban would be in an uncomfortable shape... no matter how much urge I feel to work out. It happens. Ever wondered why most sikh guys are out of shape? We are not made for the regular healthcare efforts. We have an additional burden to handle all the time. I know some of you would say that I should try tying a parna or a dumala for workout, but in a corporate setting when I am not sure about the meetings that have to happen and I am not sure about the formal dress code, I cannot tie the same parna everyday. ie. It gives a tradeoff between having a good corporate look or a sporty comfort for gym, I have to choose one. Isn't that clearly a limited way of living? Some of you must be managing it. I too occassionaly tie a mini turban the day I want to have a good workout. Some of you guys would be using the local gym in your colony and would be going there after returning from office and trying a parna or a cap. But in a place where commuting between the office and home takes 1.5 hour, I don't think would fit my schedule.

I was always fascinated by skydiving. As I child I would imagine myself falling in the winds without any limits of what actually would be the scenario. But now, I am having a difficult time to decide the kind of turban I would wear when I would be on a trip with my better half without compromising my personality. And yes, I have a hindu girlfriend who like me the way I am and doesn't ever want me to cut my hair. There fore, I had thought be keeping my wish of skydiving as a wish only. I thought I would never choose to go for such adventure sports and hoped that I would never get an opportunity. But my company is sending me to US with my team for a conference where all of us would also be having a tour and skydiving is in the intenary. I am doomed.

Yes, I know guru maharaj and many other martyrs sacrificed a lot for the community. I should be ashamed of thinking the way I am thinking. 
But you see, when we talk about this with some one they say that they gave their lives for 'hair'  ignoring the fact that all that mattered to them were 'principles' in which keeping hair was just another factor. There's difference between the two statements. I hope you know that. And most of the hype comes from the females who don't face such issues because no matter if a girl has cut her hair or not, keeping it requires the same efforts as a hindu girl would do. And we all know, most of the sikh girls now a days, freely trim their hair and make hype if a sikh boy does the same. 

And If we think philosophically, the martyrs sacrificed their lives once and for all and became eternal, but we guys are doing such sacrifices everyday by limiting our lives and living in discomfort and limits. I don't find it fair enough. 
We all know that turban destroys the hairline. Aren't we modifying the nature's course by the turban's traction instead of scissors?

I won't cut my hair. I don't have the courage to face the taunts of my relatives and the sadness of my parents. Moreover, the damage that has happened to my hair can't be reversed, so theirs no use of cutting it. 

But one thing is for sure that I am unable to respect this concept in our religion. And I would forever find it unfair...

Seems as though a lot of these limitations you have placed upon yourself.  I can honestly say that I have never felt being restricted or or weighed down by being Sabat Surat.  I don’t think there is a single profession in the world where a Sabat Surat Singh has not excelled at.  I think a lot comes down to Singh mindset, whether you actually have the courage to take on the world or you just want to be a part of it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 5/8/2019 at 8:45 PM, Guest HomoSapien said:

Yes, I know guru maharaj and many other martyrs sacrificed a lot for the community. I should be ashamed of thinking the way I am thinking. 
But you see, when we talk about this with some one they say that they gave their lives for 'hair'  ignoring the fact that all that mattered to them were 'principles' in which keeping hair was just another factor. There's difference between the two statements. I hope you know that. And most of the hype comes from the females who don't face such issues because no matter if a girl has cut her hair or not, keeping it requires the same efforts as a hindu girl would do. And we all know, most of the sikh girls now a days, freely trim their hair and make hype if a sikh boy does the same. 

And If we think philosophically, the martyrs sacrificed their lives once and for all and became eternal, but we guys are doing such sacrifices everyday by limiting our lives and living in discomfort and limits. I don't find it fair enough. 
We all know that turban destroys the hairline. Aren't we modifying the nature's course by the turban's traction instead of scissors?

I won't cut my hair. I don't have the courage to face the taunts of my relatives and the sadness of my parents. Moreover, the damage that has happened to my hair can't be reversed, so theirs no use of cutting it. 

But one thing is for sure that I am unable to respect this concept in our religion. And I would forever find it unfair...

Veer ji

You need to see that donning a Dastaar is a meant to be a blessing and not a burden. It doesn't have to be a limitation and for a lot of us it's inspiration to keep on moving forward. Try to change your mindset.

We are not changing nature's course for us by covering our Kesh. This is for many spiritual and physical reasons. Those that do cut their hair are going against Hukam of Akaal Purakh, the hukam was that human beings grow hair. And when someone cuts their hair, guess what, it grows again and until it reaches it natural length. 

And I believe it's not correct to say that all that mattered to the Shaheeds were their principles.  For example Bhai Taru Singh ji (who was scalped alive) had their Kesh washed with Dehi by their mother. Why did she go through all that effort for just principles. Really it was something beyond that which made Bhai Taru Singh want to be Scalped alive instead of cutting their Kesh. It was love for Guru. Knowing that they are the light of God on earth and inner-knowing. They know what is best for us and that's why they make us keep our Kesh. The question Maharaaj asked was never who wants to be apart of the Mighty Mighty Khalsa. It was who is ready to die for their Guru out of love. 

ਜਉ ਤਉ ਪ੍ਰੇਮ ਖੇਲਣ ਕਾ ਚਾਉ 
If you desire to play this game of love with Me,
ਸਿਰੁ ਧਰਿ ਤਲੀ ਗਲੀ ਮੇਰੀ ਆਉ 
then step onto My Path with your head in hand.
ਇਤੁ ਮਾਰਗਿ ਪੈਰੁ ਧਰੀਜੈ 
When you place your feet on this Path,
ਸਿਰੁ ਦੀਜੈ ਕਾਣਿ  ਕੀਜੈ ॥੨੦॥
give Me your head, and do not pay any attention to public opinion. ||20||

Also those "Sikh girls" you talk about aren't Sikh. They probably don't read their paath and don't care about Guru Sahib's message. And Dastaars don't damage your hairline unless you tie one really tight and don't take care of your hair properly (which I am also guilty of). So isn't it natural to have your hair fall out when you comb it or when you cut it? The answer is simple.

See you hair as a blessing. Guru ji Kirpa Karn

VJKK VJKF

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 5/8/2019 at 8:45 PM, Guest HomoSapien said:

Warm greetings to all the readers, only in case the moderator finds the concepts of Sikhism strong enough to answer my thoughts that I am about to share. I am a sabat-surat sikh and I love tying my turban. I know I look good in a turban and I love the community that I am fortunately a part of. I love how we have truly become one of the most vital communities in maintaining peace on the planet.

I had never been bothered by the history. I respected and was completely in condolence with what happened with our community in the last 3 decades in India after the events that took place in 1984 and I am no one to judge what went wrong and what went right. I never thought that the past of our community would decide the future of where we are taking Sikhism. But apparently, this is not the case. The more I explore the world, the more I come across the extremism that is going on in our people. I have always thought of myself as a normal human being, who belongs to the global community. Where my physical traits are not of much significance relative to my intellect. But this is clearly not the case. I am a sikh. And there are people who want to make us stand different than the global community. I am not sure if that's the right direction for any community to be. may it be Sikhs, the Muslims, the Jews, the Hindus or even the Christians. 

Clearing that out, I thought of myself as a normal human being until now. Someone with no limitations. Someone who can achieve anything by trying hard and putting effort on the cost of hard work and intellect. I have been in to the practice of meditation since 3 years. And this also has helped me understand Gurbani in a deeper way and feel more connected to the supreme consciousness. But there are some issues concerning me since more than 10 months now. I hope you guys can help me out.

I work in a corporate environment, and I have been a very passionate student. I used to work for late hours in my college time and that has helped me make a good position on my professional front relative to my classmates. But due to some boundaries that have been defined in the education system, I wasn't able to get into the career position that I had always worked for. And that needs a lot of time and dedication. And that brings me to the point of this post. 

But before that, do you wonder the comfort level of a bride who is been dressed for the wedding with the heavy Joda and the accessories, plus the make-up and the head cover pinned with the hair (mostly a hairstyle that makes the head look in better shape to be covered with the dupatta of the joda). You guys know that such a dressed bride cannot even lay on bed for a nap if she needs. Her hairstyle would get spoilt. She cannot even cry properly due to the makeup. She cannot even think of washing her face with cold water if she feels hot. She cannot ride a fast speed bike and much more. And if I talk about adventure sports, you'd say I am insane. Right? We all have sympathies with such a girl on her wedding day for the torture that she faces in the name of dressing beautifully. Of course, she looks pretty. And she likes to feel like a queen on her special day. But she'd rather prefer not marrying if she has to carry the same torture everyday.


Now, I hope you can relate the same with a sikh boy. Who has to take an extra 1 hour to get ready everyday. And then put himself in limitations for the whole day. I'll share what 99% of the sikh boys with sabat-surat personality in a fast working environment face. If someone has to put extra hours during the night for his personal growth(which can be extra learning for professional growth or some kind of a hobby that he follows), he still has to make it right at 6 o'lock in the morning if he wants to reach office by 9. This 3 hour gap only includes getting ready and having breakfast. I hardly see a working sabat-surat guy taking time for his basic needs in the morning like gyming and meditating and worshiping and having breakfast after tying a comfortable turban and beard comfortably all together and still reaching office in time. To make this happen, I have been skipping my breakfast everyday right from my childhood when I used to tie my patka and it used to take more than one trials sometimes to tie a comfortable and a neat patka. Then while riding off to the office on a 6 lane highway on my bike, the fear of getting my turban blown off exceeding a speed of 50 comes into play(I am not sure how many people have experienced it). Also, since wearing a helmet is not an option, the tan on the forehead has to be faced because the hankerchief cover only half of the face. 

Reaching the office, I finally deal with the discomfort of the last lard upon my ear which demands to be adjusted every 5 mins when I need to focus on a really sophisticated piece of code with full concentration. and adjusting the larh, I need to go to the washroom every 1 hour to see if I have not accidentally deformed my turban. And sometimes, I get a complimentary headache along. And if you are saying that the turban is not the cause of the ache, I agree with you. but it adds to the pain and if you deny that, I am not sure if you are human. And this brings off the first half of the day with struggle.
I have been an athlete when I was a kid, jumping off, participating in gymnastics and what not. I still am in a nice health due to the habits that I have been able to cultivate as a child. But maintaining all of those is now becoming very tough. Working in office for more than 11 hours everyday that too in an exhausting manner as mentioned in the previous paragraph, and knowing that only reaching home and resting with a free head atleast could comfort you, you cannot have the courage to spend an hour in the office gym wearing the turban, where almost every excercize that you do would come with a fear of not spoiling your turban, and worse, you can't think of doing cardio and let your turban absorb all the sweat so that you are not eligible for social gatherings with the same sweaty and uncomfortable turban which stinks. My fellow mates can afford to go to the gym in the morning when all they have to do is wake up and brush their teeth and leave for the office gym. The workout and take a bath in the gym itself. I can't even think of doing that knowing my chores that include tying my beard with a spray and a hairdryer and also the complete course of tying the turban and that too in proper light and electricity and proper space. We don't find that in the gym. I have missed a lot of days of my excercise only because of the discomfort that I feel with the turban or the days when some strands from my beard would strangely come out and instantly make me loose all my confidence for the rest of the day or some days when my turban would be in an uncomfortable shape... no matter how much urge I feel to work out. It happens. Ever wondered why most sikh guys are out of shape? We are not made for the regular healthcare efforts. We have an additional burden to handle all the time. I know some of you would say that I should try tying a parna or a dumala for workout, but in a corporate setting when I am not sure about the meetings that have to happen and I am not sure about the formal dress code, I cannot tie the same parna everyday. ie. It gives a tradeoff between having a good corporate look or a sporty comfort for gym, I have to choose one. Isn't that clearly a limited way of living? Some of you must be managing it. I too occassionaly tie a mini turban the day I want to have a good workout. Some of you guys would be using the local gym in your colony and would be going there after returning from office and trying a parna or a cap. But in a place where commuting between the office and home takes 1.5 hour, I don't think would fit my schedule.

I was always fascinated by skydiving. As I child I would imagine myself falling in the winds without any limits of what actually would be the scenario. But now, I am having a difficult time to decide the kind of turban I would wear when I would be on a trip with my better half without compromising my personality. And yes, I have a hindu girlfriend who like me the way I am and doesn't ever want me to cut my hair. There fore, I had thought be keeping my wish of skydiving as a wish only. I thought I would never choose to go for such adventure sports and hoped that I would never get an opportunity. But my company is sending me to US with my team for a conference where all of us would also be having a tour and skydiving is in the intenary. I am doomed.

Yes, I know guru maharaj and many other martyrs sacrificed a lot for the community. I should be ashamed of thinking the way I am thinking. 
But you see, when we talk about this with some one they say that they gave their lives for 'hair'  ignoring the fact that all that mattered to them were 'principles' in which keeping hair was just another factor. There's difference between the two statements. I hope you know that. And most of the hype comes from the females who don't face such issues because no matter if a girl has cut her hair or not, keeping it requires the same efforts as a hindu girl would do. And we all know, most of the sikh girls now a days, freely trim their hair and make hype if a sikh boy does the same. 

And If we think philosophically, the martyrs sacrificed their lives once and for all and became eternal, but we guys are doing such sacrifices everyday by limiting our lives and living in discomfort and limits. I don't find it fair enough. 
We all know that turban destroys the hairline. Aren't we modifying the nature's course by the turban's traction instead of scissors?

I won't cut my hair. I don't have the courage to face the taunts of my relatives and the sadness of my parents. Moreover, the damage that has happened to my hair can't be reversed, so theirs no use of cutting it. 

But one thing is for sure that I am unable to respect this concept in our religion. And I would forever find it unfair...

Anonymous Ji! 

It appears you're a sophisticated person with high principles n values and u aim for perfection. 

One recommendation, is there a gym near your house? maybe opt for that? It may cost ya but it's something I guess. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 5/8/2020 at 10:52 AM, Guest Priorities said:

I havent read your post in detail so forgive me if im being rude, its not my intention. Im perhaps not responding to you personally but making an observation generally.

We take about whats natural and the time it takes and inconveniences of managing kakkars, turban , hair and nitnem etc. 

Ppl say oit takes 3 hours to get ready, and hard to do go through the work day. Actually the corporate world is not natural, our work life balance isnt natural. Works long hours as a labourer is also nit natural. Humans are subjected to working so they can pay taxes and fund large corporations and live in the system.  

Life is suppose to be free and humans have created a system in which they disregard their body, their spirit, cut hair on their head for convenience and on the body, eat processed food for quickness, work like a slave for their whole life. Be subjected to the system, drink alcohol to forget, try to be same as the norm to fit in, enjoy random relationships, then repeat all again. The Guru gives us a different path. 

We do hav a choice what path we want to follow.

 What im trying to say is we can make changes in life to suit our lifestyle aswell. Instead of just thinking saroop is a burden.

This is the best answer. Well said! 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Guest

I don't have such deep sadness like the asker of the question. But I guess this is very true what this person has posted. I live with 3 more sikh friends of mine so I don't have the issue with having my head covered all the time like the asker. 

But as I think about it, it is a problem. I remember being very irritated in times of my preparation of competitive exams. I wanted to be in to field work. I had trained myself as a teen with boxing and Judo. But as I grew into the practice of sikhi, I let my ambition go away. Although, I am happy with my white collar office job even now, but this post just reminded me of how great the impact of hair is in our lives.

I find the post really insightful, but I guess our community would never find answers because we as a community are too rigid for change. And change is the natures way keeping things fresh. 

Also, I think 100 years down the line, there would be no difference in the impression of other religions and sikhism itself. As our 5K's are also symbols just like the idols in hinduism or the cross in christianity. I think we don't have the right to criticize such practices in other religions when we ourselves give so much importance to symbols. Anyone who looses these symbols is just marked as a non-sikh which is extreme and the 'ego' of those who done the swaroop is making them to put in wierd concepts in the religion which is taking it far away from the actual principles that our gurus laid the foundation upon. Never mind, let's all wish for the uplifting our religion. 

 

Admin Note: Sangat ji, We will be posting location details based on the IP on threads that are goes too much against the basic principles of Sikhi. In past we were just deleting them but now we want to try to see if sangat can give these lost soul some advice. Posts based on VPN use to hide their identity in Gupt forum will be deleted. 

Above user is from: Ludhiana, Punjab

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 5/8/2019 at 12:45 PM, Guest HomoSapien said:

Warm greetings to all the readers, only in case the moderator finds the concepts of Sikhism strong enough to answer my thoughts that I am about to share. I am a sabat-surat sikh and I love tying my turban. I know I look good in a turban and I love the community that I am fortunately a part of. I love how we have truly become one of the most vital communities in maintaining peace on the planet.
 

I won't cut my hair. I don't have the courage to face the taunts of my relatives and the sadness of my parents. Moreover, the damage that has happened to my hair can't be reversed, so theirs no use of cutting it. 

But one thing is for sure that I am unable to respect this concept in our religion. And I would forever find it unfair...

Greetings.

You make good points. But are perhaps missing the bigger picture.

People have been calling sikhs especially amritdharis impractical for a long time. They made fun of simran, mindless repeating like a parrot, until the West starting lauding meditation. 

They made fun of suchamta, the cleaniliness, until well Covid-19 and coronavirus. 

They made fun of the open, flowing beard but now its in style. 

Too many restrictions like not eating out etc. And then the food poisonings and health violations in most restaurant.

All I can say is, be grateful that ur genetic inheritance did not give you a bigger burden. Due to parental pressure and your relatives judgement, you are forced to wear this turban,.just because genetics favored you to be born a panjabi. Genetics could have given you psoriasis, disability etc.

I just feel sorry for future sikhs, like your kids, their parents wont guilt trip them onto this path. So they will be like everyone else. Lost, bored, purposeless. Thinking the only point of life is to be rich and have a corporate job. They will be having early mid life crisis. When they put all their energy and effort towards this job, and get so minimal in return. 

Isnt belonging to a community, knowing ur past, worth the hassle?

You do make some good points that alwe as sikhs will have to address. Driving a motorcycle with a turban IS more dangerous than with a helmet. There is a new type of helmet invented that u put around your neck. And it will acitivate and cover ur head when u hit something. 

So.im sure we can find more solutions. Like what to wear during skydiving. N-95 Respirator masks that work with beards. 

Also remembet there are people worse off. There are sikhs that believe they must wear a chola at all times. How dangerous that must be in a factory environment. Sikhs that believe in only eating food cooked in sarbloh. So in college, along with classes,.they have to cook their food everyday too. Some of these students are in the West. Other sikhs believe you must do nitnem which takes 1 hour daily. Or simran for 2 hours daily. How much aretime and effort are they losing out on comparered to their colleagues?

I had a 30 min drive during clinicals. So would do nitnem while driving cuz shifts that lasted from 5 am to 9 pm dont leave that much time. Plus we were supposed to study as well. I also felt like doing paath, taking a bath in the morning vs evening was wasting my time. But perhaps we are actually doing something right, getting more work life balance.

Also if you work such long shifts and on a computer (as a coder?) Why is corporate dresscode required? In the US, people who work with computers and not clients have a relaxed dresscode. 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...



  • Topics

  • Posts

    • Huh? What kind of rumor is this? There is no doctored version of SGGS Ji. How is such a thing even possible? What? It is law in Punjab that only SGPC can print saroops. Again, where are these rumors coming from?
    • That's what we often think. But I think world is increasingly becoming volatile
    • Really lol? Like India doesn't have their fare share of morons? Till day they burn Ravan, believe 8 legged gods, and kill people over gau raksha. I dont understand why some Sikhs chose one over the other, both nations are trouble. 
    • Pakistans different regions also have their own spoken languages however, sindhi etc. People of those provinces do attach to their regional identity, which has also led to the militant movements there. That's a whole different issue though.  I will admit they are losing Punjabi language. But, the anthem is not in Persian. Urdu as a language is quite hybrid, hence the similarities.  Amritsar came to be a few centuries ago. Western Punjab had most of the early day settlements. If anything, Punjabi was from modern day Pakistan. I'm trying to say dividing their history is ludicrous. Their histories are very much tied in together. Their histories being tied, the border not having existed before the creation of Urdu makes it silly to say Urdu is foreign. It existed there for centuries prior.  Areas such as Sind have their own legendary historical figures as well. Indians having pride in their region isn't quite Indian pride then, especially in you consider the conflicts it has created.  In the end, yes Pakistan does have many issues. But, so does your India. Especially as they modernize, turn to English and Western culture. 
    • That's 2 different things. India does not have one identity because every state has it's own linguistic and cultural identity. But the languages of each state developed in that region and are not foreign. Pakistan punjab on the other hand does not even have a punjabi newspaper! Neither do they speak punjabi in the punjab government! Or in the schools. They paki punjabis speak urdu.  Pakistan's national anthem is persian Indian heroes are all home grown, the rajputs, marathas, ashoka etc. And they all were south Asian not foreigners. Indians celebrating south asians and pakistanis celebrating the achievements of foreigners is 2 different things! Punjabi developed over a 1000 years ago, from what I read it developed in the central punjab region lahore/amritsar. Gurmukhi script was written in punjab. Indians do not have a identity crisis, Pakistanis do,  there is no comparison. Indians are now even changing the names of cities that the mughals changed back to the original indian names.  The culture of india and pakistan even b4 partition was different. Only punjabis from the Gurdaspur region, people of the thar desert and the Sindhis had similarities, the rest of the subcontinent was/is culturally very different and diverse.   
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use