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Wife graduates from passive-aggressive to full blown aggressive behavior and creates chaos in family


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On 6/19/2019 at 2:40 PM, Ranjeet01 said:

Because sex does play a part in marriage.

If you don't have lust for your wife, how can you expect to not have sex and how do children come about?

Thx for answering. Thats a good answer. BUT gay ppl have been having kids for many years. Even in the west. Gay ppl would get married and have side affairs. A gay person even said it was better in the 60s, u got to have a family and a affairs in the side. 

Im not condoning that. I am just saying it was possible. 

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On 6/19/2019 at 2:52 PM, MisterrSingh said:

There's a certain school of thought that suggests gay men of previous generations (I'm referring to hundreds of years in the past leading up to the tail end of the last century) considered marriage and their contribution to the bearing of children an unassailable duty that was necessary for a functioning and healthy society. Gay husbands provided for their families in all the ways a heterosexual man did. It was only when the social sciences that were pioneered in the middle of the last century deemed it was necessary to emancipate the "oppressed" homosexual do we find ourselves in a situation where gay men are as confused, angry, and depressed with their lot in life more than any other period in history despite the apparent leaps and bounds in attitudes. Much of this strife has originated from transforming marriage from a transactional and pragmatic partnership to one where psychological politicking, delusion and personal feelings trump reason. 

Yes! You get what i mean.

But is that view which is so pragmatic and was prevelent until recently, is it wrong?

Is it againest Gurmat? 

To be honest tho, the argument that what if it was ur sister who was married to the gay person....does sway me a bit...

Also although arranged marriages are considered gurmat. Where one accepts hukam and doesnt complain abt the spouse they ended up with. But its really hard to do. 

And our thinking has changed alot. We have adopted all the western mentality about love, marriage, gay ppl.

But i wonder if the western view is more enlightened. Its easier to go abt having a marriage with love/lust. 

"Sikhism" doesnt really have answers to this stuff. The culture of the time that was prevalent in gurus time. Do we continue following it? 

On 6/19/2019 at 3:21 PM, dallysingh101 said:

I don't think this is true. Many females elope with other men when they feel they aren't getting what they desire in this respect. 

I'm sure we've all seen mismatches with couples where one has a high sex drive and the other doesn't. This usually leads to trouble. At the very least, an angry wife.

Yes but there is no way to make sure that the compatibility is right. And in terms of spirituality, shouldnt we work on controlling our mind/urges...

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43 minutes ago, Not2Cool2Argue said:

Thx for answering. Thats a good answer. BUT gay ppl have been having kids for many years. Even in the west. Gay ppl would get married and have side affairs. A gay person even said it was better in the 60s, u got to have a family and a affairs in the side. 

Im not condoning that. I am just saying it was possible. 

How many of them were actually bisexual as opposed to full on gay though?

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19 minutes ago, Not2Cool2Argue said:

Yes but there is no way to make sure that the compatibility is right.

I know, even in cultures where people are allowed to test the waters beforehand, this can become a problem at a later stage.

 

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And in terms of spirituality, shouldnt we work on controlling our mind/urges...

Some restraint is strongly advised in older Sikh texts. Not outright abstinence but limiting it to a certain amount of times in a week type of thing. I think they had an inkling of how excess can drain a man's testosterone maybe? 

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