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speaking to girls/guys. Whats your Opinion?

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On 7/18/2019 at 2:57 AM, MisterrSingh said:

What I don't agree with is unnecessary small talk and feminised banter / gossip which has the potential to spiral into problematic situations. Maintaining a respectful distance without coming across as arrogant or uncooperative is key. 

I would say "small talk" is actually OK. Small talk is just the meaningless, "so, it's pretty cold out these days" or whatever else innocuous topic.

What you really want to avoid is deep conversations with people that you don't want to get into a relationship with. Because having deep conversations leads to relationships.

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On 7/17/2019 at 2:28 PM, Guest Western Trash said:

You talk about “western trash”, I mean like <banned word filter activated>. Talk about being judgemental yourself. I’m sure this “western trash” you’re on about are probably much greater and respectable human beings than yourself, who has the most backward thinking. This is 2019 now mate. No one gives a crap about what others think. 

Sikhs in the UK have around a 2% divorce rate, general society has around a 40% divorce rate. Hooray for "backward thinking"!

Huge numbers of people walking around are bastards (illegitimate children), products of those "friendships" that you praise.

And that's 2019. Mate.

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1 hour ago, BhForce said:

I would say "small talk" is actually OK. Small talk is just the meaningless, "so, it's pretty cold out these days" or whatever else innocuous topic.

What you really want to avoid is deep conversations with people that you don't want to get into a relationship with. Because having deep conversations leads to relationships.

Yeah, small talk was probably the wrong phrase. Gossip / chugliyan that is deemed to be unworthy / nonsensical for anyone with aspirations of cleaning up their karms. Apparently, nindya is frowned upon across the various Eastern mystical paths. It's supposed to be one of the worst things a person can do in that particular sphere of action. It's a sign of a lesser developed soul. 

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On 7/25/2019 at 3:47 AM, Guest Western Trash said:

God nothing to feel guilty about just can’t stand when people think they have the right to judge others because they’re talking to someone of the opposite sex. 

 

This has got got nothing to do with respect of elders, drugs or alcohol etc. There are many decent people out there who have friendships with married people of the opposite sex. They don’t have an issue, I don’t have an issue. Clearly a lot of people on this forum can’t control their feelings and feel the need to indulge in sexual thoughts about the person. 

I’m from a Sikh family just as many of you are on here. Just we’re given the freedom to talk to whoever we want. Not everyone is deranged and has starts to have Kaam related thoughts about their friends. 

Nah not a school kid, a newly married adult thank you very much. And yes we have friends of the opposite sex, yes we talk to them frequently, they come to our houses, we go out together on double dates etc and have been alone with these friends when our partners haven’t been there. Nothings happened and yes do feel comfortable with it as we have our heads screwed on. 

It worries me about a lot of you guys talking about how this leads to Kaam, just shows how stuck in your ways you are and that you can’t be around the opposite sex in case you become sex maniacs 🙄

listen we knw ur kind well enough.

uve had fun, made mistakes n have regrets. ur annoyed tht its bein discussed here cuz it puts u to shame. the truth hurts. u were weak n unable to control ur female urges. u can keep tryin to justify it with western indoctrination n keep tryin to prove ur a strong, modern female who has no dirty past but ur not fooling anyone here.

the fact tht u say its got nothing to do wiv respect of elders only confirms to us tht u neva bothered to listen to urs.

but tell us something. u say ur newly married so does tht mean u befriended ur husband or vice-versa? if so, tht means u both mustve had the same kaam related thoughts u call 'deranged' n 'sex maniacal' about each otha since ur likely to have children in the relationship.

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3 hours ago, GuestSingh said:

listen we knw ur kind well enough.

uve had fun, made mistakes n have regrets. ur annoyed tht its bein discussed here cuz it puts u to shame. the truth hurts. u were weak n unable to control ur female urges. u can keep tryin to justify it with western indoctrination n keep tryin to prove ur a strong, modern female who has no dirty past but ur not fooling anyone here.

the fact tht u say its got nothing to do wiv respect of elders only confirms to us tht u neva bothered to listen to urs.

but tell us something. u say ur newly married so does tht mean u befriended ur husband or vice-versa? if so, tht means u both mustve had the same kaam related thoughts u call 'deranged' n 'sex maniacal' about each otha since ur likely to have children in the relationship.

Their original post was a checklist of clichés and identifiers of the contemporary sheep who've deluded themselves into thinking drinking the Kool-aid was necessary.

1. "I did something that some people disagree with. How dare you notice my behaviour." A classic tell boldly expressed by those who have a past that obviously irks their conscience.

2. "It's [insert the current year]" as if that's an argument. When it's 2119 and marrying animals will be all the rage, people who don't participate in that nonsense will be castigated for not moving with the times.

3. The classic shaming tactic; the icing on the cake. "You must be a deranged, sexually charged maniac for having morals that I discarded a very long time ago. How dare you, bigot!"

😁

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2 hours ago, MisterrSingh said:

Their original post was a checklist of clichés and identifiers of the contemporary sheep who've deluded themselves into thinking drinking the Kool-aid was necessary.

1. "I did something that some people disagree with. How dare you notice my behaviour." A classic tell boldly expressed by those who have a past that obviously irks their conscience.

2. "It's [insert the current year]" as if that's an argument. When it's 2119 and marrying animals will be all the rage, people who don't participate in that nonsense will be castigated for not moving with the times.

3. The classic shaming tactic; the icing on the cake. "You must be a deranged, sexually charged maniac for having morals that I discarded a very long time ago. How dare you, bigot!"

😁

the cherry on top was calling herself n othas like her 'more greater and respectable' than someone whos no sant himself but at least has had the self-respect n courage to preserve the dignity of this body.

but for some reason having honour like this is 'backwards' unless u dnt join in wiv the fun thts takin society not only really n truly backwards but downwards into a spiral leading to hell.

apnia kuria in 2019 mate.

Edited by GuestSingh
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Guest $lag
3 hours ago, GuestSingh said:

apnia kuria in 2019 mate.

It's why so many Amritdhari Singhs are ditching them to marry goriyah and other ethnicity women nowadays

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Guest Guest
On 7/27/2019 at 12:40 AM, Guest $lag said:

It's why so many Amritdhari Singhs are ditching them to marry goriyah and other ethnicity women nowadays

And also why nowadays you see Amritdhari girls having it off with fellow Amritdhari boys or moneh. So common at uni and colleges. 

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Guest guest

Dear "Western Trash"

if you are pure minded, I'm glad.  but please don't assume other people are.  its just about basic common sense.  

you are newly married.  you are just carrying on with what you are used to doing before (in terms of socialising) etc.  if that works for you fine, that's your business.  i hope you marriage stays true.

i would not recommend it for you, because i don't want your mind filled up with it, but if you read about people who had extra marital affairs you would see that it started with "innocent" time with co-worker or 'friend' or opposite gender.

you can see ten years from now if any of your friends marriages have broken up (God forbid) you may understand our advice better.

i doubt anyone is 'judging' you.  this thread is about personal advice on how to behave and not about slandering others who behave differently.

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Guest Sense
On 7/14/2019 at 2:49 AM, Guest guest said:

no better to avoid it.  

you should have the social skills to talk to other gender comfortably, and its ok to do so at public events in an appropriate way about appropriate things.

married couple should be seen as one unit, you should only talk to the female in presence of the husband, (vie-versa for female)

should avoid 'friendship' with other sex (if you are heterosexual).  

 

That makes no sense. A platonic friendshp is fine. Look at Mai Bhago and Guru Gonind Singh Ji. We are not muslim tyrants and we are not sex crazed maniacs.

 

If you can’t treat a member of the opposite sex as a friend, then see them as a brother or sister. After all, we are God kids.

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On 8/3/2019 at 12:36 PM, Guest Sense said:

That makes no sense. A platonic friendshp is fine. Look at Mai Bhago and Guru Gonind Singh Ji. We are not muslim tyrants and we are not sex crazed maniacs.

 

If you can’t treat a member of the opposite sex as a friend, then see them as a brother or sister. After all, we are God kids.

are you comparing yourself and others to Mai Bhago and Guru Gobind Singh?   are you serious?

Also, Guru Gobind Singh was her Guru.  And Mai Bhago was a very brave and courageous woman.

in your second paragraph, what are you defining a friend as?  someone whose phone number you keep, who you spend time with alone, who you talk personal stuff with?  that would be inappropriate.  as would hugging them etc

 

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On 7/11/2019 at 10:26 AM, Guest anonymous said:

vjkk vjkkf,

I just wanted peoples view on this. Is it ok to talk to another Girl/Guy even if you or the other person are married just as a friendship or because you get along?

 

When I was growing up I was told to approach the married ones as aunties and uncles. They can never be treated as your friends, so just think about it.  How old are you?

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Guest Sense

On 8/5/2019 at 1:12 AM, Guest guest said:

are you comparing yourself and others to Mai Bhago and Guru Gobind Singh?   are you serious?

Also, Guru Gobind Singh was her Guru.  And Mai Bhago was a very brave and courageous woman.

in your second paragraph, what are you defining a friend as?  someone whose phone number you keep, who you spend time with alone, who you talk personal stuff with?  that would be inappropriate.  as would hugging them etc

 

Sexism is a huge problem in society today. 

God says humans are Equal. So it doesn't matter if your best friend is a man or woman, married or unmarried. My best friend is a married man who I treat as a brother. I have known him since my youth. And without him I honestly don't know if I would still be alive today. 

 

So it Doesn't matter. Your question is childish. If you don't know how to treat a woman as a sister or a friend and with respect then that's your problem. 

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On 7/26/2019 at 7:25 AM, GuestSingh said:

but tell us something. u say ur newly married so does tht mean u befriended ur husband or vice-versa? if so, tht means u both mustve had the same kaam related thoughts u call 'deranged' n 'sex maniacal' about each otha since ur likely to have children in the relationship.

Well, if they only had kaam feelings towards each other, it would have been one thing.

But we all know that's 99% likely not the case.

What's more likely is that both she and he fooled around (however you want to define that) with 4 or 5 people before "settling" for their current partners. Even if she/he didn't actually have sex with or even make out with other people, they did lust after them. After it didn't work out with previous partners, they settled for their current ones.

In their mind, they have resentment for their partners because they think they could have done better. At some point or another, when the opportunity presents itself, then they'll take advantage of it to cheat. And that's why Westerners have around a 50% divorce rate. That'd be the same rate for Westernized Punjabis.

 

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On 8/1/2019 at 9:55 AM, Guest guest said:

i would not recommend it for you, because i don't want your mind filled up with it, but if you read about people who had extra marital affairs you would see that it started with "innocent" time with co-worker or 'friend' or opposite gender.

Exactly. Social restrictions in our society are there for a reason. That's why we have nearly 1/20th the divorce rate of Westerners.

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