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speaking to girls/guys. Whats your Opinion?


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Guest anonymous

vjkk vjkkf,

I just wanted peoples view on this. Is it ok to talk to another Girl/Guy even if you or the other person are married just as a friendship or because you get along?

 

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These people need attention MisterSingh. Not getting it makes them say crazy things to get it. 

On 7/11/2019 at 12:26 PM, Guest anonymous said:

vjkk vjkkf,

I just wanted peoples view on this. Is it ok to talk to another Girl/Guy even if you or the other person are married just as a friendship or because you get along?

 

Do u think in the Gurus times women were forbidden from speaking to/ be friends with men? Even if they were married. 

 

Do you think the Gurus were seeking to control anyone in any way? The entire premise of sikhi is freedom. 

 

Do what u want, they advised to be free whilst remaining as a good soul. 

 

They never dictated or were tyrants in any way. 

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On 7/11/2019 at 5:26 AM, Guest anonymous said:

vjkk vjkkf,

I just wanted peoples view on this. Is it ok to talk to another Girl/Guy even if you or the other person are married just as a friendship or because you get along?

 

Yes  it's normal to have non-romantic relationships/friendships with the opposite sex, it's called human decency or a platonic relationship, meaning no romance or sex or "friends with benefits" involved, just normal friends, and if you have "urges" then too bad go cut them off for your own health because you're married fella and seek some couple counselling until a divorce happens because of being in a toxic relationship, not for your filthy pathetic urges.

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On 7/11/2019 at 10:26 AM, Guest anonymous said:

vjkk vjkkf,

I just wanted peoples view on this. Is it ok to talk to another Girl/Guy even if you or the other person are married just as a friendship or because you get along?

 

no better to avoid it.  

you should have the social skills to talk to other gender comfortably, and its ok to do so at public events in an appropriate way about appropriate things.

married couple should be seen as one unit, you should only talk to the female in presence of the husband, (vie-versa for female)

should avoid 'friendship' with other sex (if you are heterosexual).  

 

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4 hours ago, Guest guest said:

no better to avoid it.  

you should have the social skills to talk to other gender comfortably, and its ok to do so at public events in an appropriate way about appropriate things.

married couple should be seen as one unit, you should only talk to the female in presence of the husband, (vie-versa for female)

should avoid 'friendship' with other sex (if you are heterosexual).  

 

agreed

question is y does someone need to have a friendship wiv the opposite sex anyway? wats so important to discuss wiv em tht u cnt wiv ur own same sex friends? if u dnt have any then its worth tryin to find gd sangat - theyre hard to find but they do exist. n if uve been hurt in the past rememba not all r the same.

fact is friendships like this can only make the relationship closer over tym n feelings stronger - before u knw it u start feelin some sorta attraction tht can suddenly turn kaamic if ur goin thru a difficult event in lyf or even ur relationship...n even if u dnt feel something tht doesnt mean the otha person doesnt. if they do wat then? do u continue the friendship outta obligation n hope feelings change afta tellin em ur married etc or do u cut em outta ur life altogether n maybe feel guilty afterwards? maybe they will plot against u n make ur lyf hell by any means e.g. stalking, blackmail etc. this is all needless nonsense tht doesnt serve to help any of us in sikhi imo. it seems like a hinderance. so y bother wiv it?

singhs in sant jis tym wud either greet the females wiv a fateh or keep their eyes down. even ones before partition were respected by foreign english trash for not looking at anotha woman on a train. thts how it shud be really. wat else is there to say? spend any tym talkin n folk will start talkin about u, ur intentions n develop sum mistrust. basic human instinct n behaviour. those ppl had honour n dignity unlike the weak, cheap n shameless western trash we see today.

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On 7/13/2019 at 10:42 PM, GuestSingh said:

agreed

question is y does someone need to have a friendship wiv the opposite sex anyway? wats so important to discuss wiv em tht u cnt wiv ur own same sex friends? if u dnt have any then its worth tryin to find gd sangat - theyre hard to find but they do exist. n if uve been hurt in the past rememba not all r the same.

fact is friendships like this can only make the relationship closer over tym n feelings stronger - before u knw it u start feelin some sorta attraction tht can suddenly turn kaamic if ur goin thru a difficult event in lyf or even ur relationship...n even if u dnt feel something tht doesnt mean the otha person doesnt. if they do wat then? do u continue the friendship outta obligation n hope feelings change afta tellin em ur married etc or do u cut em outta ur life altogether n maybe feel guilty afterwards? maybe they will plot against u n make ur lyf hell by any means e.g. stalking, blackmail etc. this is all needless nonsense tht doesnt serve to help any of us in sikhi imo. it seems like a hinderance. so y bother wiv it?

singhs in sant jis tym wud either greet the females wiv a fateh or keep their eyes down. even ones before partition were respected by foreign english trash for not looking at anotha woman on a train. thts how it shud be really. wat else is there to say? spend any tym talkin n folk will start talkin about u, ur intentions n develop sum mistrust. basic human instinct n behaviour. those ppl had honour n dignity unlike the weak, cheap n shameless western trash we see today.

How on Earth are you meant to mingle with society if you can’t talk to the opposite sex regardless of whether they’re married or not? There are no restrictions in SikhI whatsoever about communicating, befriending someone of the opposite sex. 

Who cares what people think, who cares what people are gonna say? Sikhi doesn’t say anything along the lines of what you’ve just said.

You talk about “western trash”, I mean like <banned word filter activated>. Talk about being judgemental yourself. I’m sure this “western trash” you’re on about are probably much greater and respectable human beings than yourself, who has the most backward thinking. This is 2019 now mate. No one gives a crap about what others think. 

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10 hours ago, Guest Western Trash said:

How on Earth are you meant to mingle with society if you can’t talk to the opposite sex regardless of whether they’re married or not? There are no restrictions in SikhI whatsoever about communicating, befriending someone of the opposite sex. 

Who cares what people think, who cares what people are gonna say? Sikhi doesn’t say anything along the lines of what you’ve just said.

You talk about “western trash”, I mean like <banned word filter activated>. Talk about being judgemental yourself. I’m sure this “western trash” you’re on about are probably much greater and respectable human beings than yourself, who has the most backward thinking. This is 2019 now mate. No one gives a crap about what others think. 

You have to realise that sikhs think differently than most on such things,

ALL others apart from your life partner is a sibling, son/daughter or elder to you irrespective of faith, colour or location.

A sikh NEVER does, says or implies anything which would create a loss of honour, prestige of another i.e. Protective of their izzat in society since they are family

Yes you can have friendships but you have to make sure it is clearly understood by the other that the way you think about them is sister/brother etc . Remember a sikh's character is supposed to be above reproach e.g. General Hari Singh Nalwa and his Afghani 'mother'.

I was trained in Computer science in the early nineties and there was only four females including myself on the degree course in a group of over one hundred: Sometimes the situation is such that you have to mix to progress your own development . We are not muslims who fiercely compartmentalise women into boxes but we are not also totally careless about our own respect in society like western culture has become, we do not equate avaaragardi as freedom. Ours is the middle path, live in society but keep our values intact.

 

 

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I agree with the social skills aspect of the discussion. It's essential to be able to engage in conversation with anyone of any background particularly in a professional environment where even the slightest verbal interaction is noted as an indication of ability even if that idea may not be entirely accurate. 

What I don't agree with is unnecessary small talk and feminised banter / gossip which has the potential to spiral into problematic situations. Maintaining a respectful distance without coming across as arrogant or uncooperative is key. 

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