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Doli spectacle

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Guest Miss K

How have weddings become a specatcle rather than a nice celebration of anand karaj. Are we lookinig at more and more ways of ridiculing sikhism with our youth. Video of amritadhari male climbing in through the window at the doli - i don't get it. Is this funny

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On 10/15/2019 at 12:57 PM, Guest Miss K said:

How have weddings become a specatcle rather than a nice celebration of anand karaj. Are we lookinig at more and more ways of ridiculing sikhism with our youth. Video of amritadhari male climbing in through the window at the doli - i don't get it. Is this funny

it is besharami di hudd , you have married your wife in Front of Guru ji not eloped so have no need to sneak into your saurighar like a thief , it is also a beashti of his new Mum and Dad as  he is not respecting their ghar di izzat by creating a spectacle of climbing into the bedroom in front of the extended families, friends, neighbours. The girls outside the house are ridiculosly greedy was there no bazurg to tell them to pack it in , or were they standing there indulging this BS laughing like idiots?

The point is to tease the new bro and perhaps laugh and break tensions of impending doli leaving not score paise  and embarass him and his folks .

It is worse in Canada and India , in India you have people who don't even go to the gurdwara but stay at the 'wedding palaces' there were over 200 guests at my bro's wedding but only twenty went to the gurdwara for the actual Anand Karaj that was over 19 years back so I'm guessing that it is only worse now , hiring dancing girls and people toting guns like losers. Mum went for a Canadian do , and she failed to see any love for Guru ji expressed by anyone it was all about self-image and outdoing the other people for bling.

Edited by jkvlondon

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46 minutes ago, jkvlondon said:

it is besharami di hudd , you have married your wife in Front of Guru ji not eloped so have no need to sneak into your saurighar like a thief , it is also a beashti of his new Mum and Dad as  he is not respecting their ghar di izzat by creating a spectacle of climbing into the bedroom in front of the extended families, friends, neighbours. The girls outside the house are ridiculosly greedy was there no bazurg to tell them to pack it in , or were they standing there indulging this BS laughing like idiots?

The point is to tease the new bro and perhaps laugh and break tensions of impending doli leaving not score paise  and embarass him and his folks .

It is worse in Canada and India , in India you have people who don't even go to the gurdwara but stay at the 'wedding palaces' there were over 200 guests at my bro's wedding but only twenty went to the gurdwara for the actual Anand Karaj that was over 19 years back so I'm guessing that it is only worse now , hiring dancing girls and people toting guns like losers. Mum went for a Canadian do , and she failed to see any love for Guru ji expressed by anyone it was all about self-image and outdoing the other people for bling.

It has come to the point where I think people should have registry marriage and then just go matha tek and have ardas.

At least that way they don't make a mockery of the Anand Karaj. 

I am coming to the conclusion that the Anand Karaj should be for Amritdharis only. 

If the gurdwarae start a lose a bit of their income, then good! 

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People objected to this? I suppose on second thoughts it is a little besharam. During Doli time there is often a lot of nonsense, perhaps this one was step too far but I still do not see how this makes a mockery of Anand Kaaraj itself?

On one hand as I said I can see how it may be construed as besharmi. But on the other I would say it's a good thing there isn't such strict formality between soreh - soreh, and kurm - kurm relationship - makes life a lot easier for the girls side who have to often endure bullsh!t from munde wale. Less formal the better I say - and I say this having sisters of my own. Previously I too was all about the sidha saada old school rishta between families.

Although I agree that climbing through an upstairs window maybe wasn't the best expression of less formality lol. Harmless nonetheless. Especially compared to other things we have seen recently and otherwise in the past.

 

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Guest pretentious

u can dress like a king wiv a plume in ur turban but a monkey is still a monkey.

fakes n snakes doin behzti of real sikhs everywhere they go. again.

weak panjabis, shameless panjabis, stupid panjabis

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4 hours ago, jkvlondon said:

it is besharami di hudd , you have married your wife in Front of Guru ji not eloped so have no need to sneak into your saurighar like a thief , it is also a beashti of his new Mum and Dad as  he is not respecting their ghar di izzat by creating a spectacle of climbing into the bedroom in front of the extended families, friends, neighbours. The girls outside the house are ridiculosly greedy was there no bazurg to tell them to pack it in , or were they standing there indulging this BS laughing like idiots?

The point is to tease the new bro and perhaps laugh and break tensions of impending doli leaving not score paise  and embarass him and his folks .

It is worse in Canada and India , in India you have people who don't even go to the gurdwara but stay at the 'wedding palaces' there were over 200 guests at my bro's wedding but only twenty went to the gurdwara for the actual Anand Karaj that was over 19 years back so I'm guessing that it is only worse now , hiring dancing girls and people toting guns like losers. Mum went for a Canadian do , and she failed to see any love for Guru ji expressed by anyone it was all about self-image and outdoing the other people for bling.

yh in india they have dancing girls on stage doing suggestive moves with men throwing money over them    this is mughal mujra culture   the very culture our gurus rebelled against and now we are adopting this very culture!   next punjabi weddings will have hookahs/sheesha 

yh canada is just as bad!  my canadian cousin is getting married nxt yr and iv already told my mum im not gnna go   

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Real men walk through the front door to take their wife     why is he climbing through the window as if the relationship is a cheap fling    if that was my sisters husband i would make him climb back out of the window (dont care if he breaks his legs)and make him walk through the front door, hopefully without loosing my cool.        its a marriage not a hooker and customer. 

 my cousins girlfriend used to sneak in through the backdoor into his room to get layed because they weren't married   

Edited by puzzled

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8 hours ago, MrDoaba said:

People objected to this? I suppose on second thoughts it is a little besharam. During Doli time there is often a lot of nonsense, perhaps this one was step too far but I still do not see how this makes a mockery of Anand Kaaraj itself?

On one hand as I said I can see how it may be construed as besharmi. But on the other I would say it's a good thing there isn't such strict formality between soreh - soreh, and kurm - kurm relationship - makes life a lot easier for the girls side who have to often endure bullsh!t from munde wale. Less formal the better I say - and I say this having sisters of my own. Previously I too was all about the sidha saada old school rishta between families.

Although I agree that climbing through an upstairs window maybe wasn't the best expression of less formality lol. Harmless nonetheless. Especially compared to other things we have seen recently and otherwise in the past.

 

people will ask kurdiwale koi hor  munda nahin labba eh lafunga kiton mileya si ? plus if  there are younger sisters in the house it could create wrong impression in people's mind about how much bad behaviour they as a family will put up with from mundevale just to get their daughters married i.e. put them on the back foot. This is the first time this 'son' is visiting his new parents didn't Guru ji say to respect them as much as possible in fact more than one's own since they are giving you their most treasured child?

There is formality of manners which is actually showing compassion and consideration to others' feelings, we are not meant to spoil another's chances or life through our words and actions that is antigurmat. the guy/girl who tries show up their inlaws is NOT following sikhiya of Guru ji but doing their own manmat to feed their egoes. What is wrong with him standing and negotiating or do as my kid bro did and say 'hold on Mum Dad; I'm coming , look Guys her folks are calling me '... and just shove the few notes he had in his pocket into their hands ...and go in the front door?

would you honestly have been happy if that had happened to your sis , Mum and Dad? If the guy can't show respect to his bride's mother and father in front of their whole family when is he ever going to?

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@jkvlondon point taken. I can imagine that tbh. I've already conceded that in hindsight it was a silly thing to do, and I concede again that if I was there actually witnessing it, it most likely would be a different story.

Tbh I have seen some cringe or super cheesy sh!t at Amritdhari Doli's. Though not like this.

Quote

There is formality of manners which is actually showing compassion and consideration to others' feelings, we are not meant to spoil another's chances or life through our words and actions that is antigurmat. the guy/girl who tries show up their inlaws is NOT following sikhiya of Guru ji but doing their own manmat to feed their egoes. What is wrong with him standing and negotiating or do as my kid bro did and say 'hold on Mum Dad; I'm coming , look Guys her folks are calling me '... and just shove the few notes he had in his pocket into their hands ...and go in the front door?

There will always remain a formality between them. I was referring particularly to the fake@ss things - the munde wale taking advantage of the girls side which still goes on albeit not as it did in the days of old. Even the seemingly strong minded folks back down when it comes to their kurms highly unreasonable behaviour. All I'm saying is that ik duje naal pyaar naal milna chaida, jidha bhen bharavan naal mili da. No side should act like the others aafsar and should have the right to speak out.

Come to think of it, I was once at a wedding where the munde wale actually literally threw the women at the door out the way and barged in - I was there too because I was a little kid. It was not pleasant and dangerous af. Needless to say we demanded maafi and payment later.

Edited by MrDoaba

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Guest Pearl

My goodness! It was only a joke. I doubt they actually had relations - everyone was watching. Why not blame the girl in the first place for opening the window to her husband? 

Let's address the real spectacle of the doli- the fact that the woman is treated like an object owned by men to be transferred from her father to her husband. All the ritual crying when modern technology and transport means she'll see her parents all the time after marriage. Not to mention the superstitious rice throwing. 

What does gurbani say about that? 

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5 hours ago, Guest Pearl said:

Let's address the real spectacle of the doli- the fact that the woman is treated like an object owned by men to be transferred from her father to her husband. All the ritual crying when modern technology and transport means she'll see her parents all the time after marriage. Not to mention the superstitious rice throwing. 

well perhaps you can move out and buy your own place and then when you get married your husband can move into your place in a doli so you dont feel like your being passed from one man to another?   plenty of solutions you know

As for what traditionally happened, Guru Nanak Dev ji and the wedding bharaat went to Batala, Mata Sulakhinis home town. Their anand karaj happened there and according to tradition there was a lot of celebration. some say that "koris/kodis" marriage songs that sisters sing to their brother started from Guru jis anand karaj. In the old days in Punjab when a boy used to get married girls from the village used to sing songs about Guru Nanak Dev Jis marriage,   Guru Nanak Dev ji then took Mata ji from Batala to his home town.   In the old days the boy and bharaat used to go to brides village and thats where the anand karaj used to happen. 

As for my wife crying im gnna tell her not to cry    i think its pathetic and stupid when they do that    nothing worse than someone wailing and weeping in your ear.   no need for that whole star plus drama acting    

 

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On 10/16/2019 at 5:39 PM, jkvlondon said:

It is worse in Canada and India , in India you have people who don't even go to the gurdwara but stay at the 'wedding palaces' there were over 200 guests at my bro's wedding but only twenty went to the gurdwara for the actual Anand Karaj that was over 19 years back so I'm guessing that it is only worse now , hiring dancing girls and people toting guns like losers. 

I witnessed for the first time when I went to a wedding in Punjab last year. There were many people at the Kurmai. There was only immediate family at the Gurdwara. It wouldn’t be unreasonable to say there were 1000 people at the party. For me, the Anand Karaj has always been the important bit. The party less so. But I see even here in the UK, people will turn up to the reception party and not bother to go to the Gurdwara. They come for the opportunity to get drunk. 

On 10/16/2019 at 6:30 PM, Ranjeet01 said:

It has come to the point where I think people should have registry marriage and then just go matha tek and have ardas.

I am coming to the conclusion that the Anand Karaj should be for Amritdharis only. 

I’m leaning towards this more and more too. Especially with the prospect of there being same-sex marriages in the Gurdwara. It’s bad enough that sham marriages happen between gay people of opposite sex. 

On 10/16/2019 at 10:05 PM, puzzled said:

yh in india they have dancing girls on stage doing suggestive moves with men throwing money over them

Again, first time I saw it last year and I could not believe how sexually suggestive the dancing was. It was horrifying. 

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12 hours ago, Wicked Warrior said:

I’m leaning towards this more and more too. Especially with the prospect of there being same-sex marriages in the Gurdwara. It’s bad enough that sham marriages happen between gay people of opposite sex. 

same here   im not amritdhari myself  im just kesdhari  but im starting to think more and more that anand karaj should be limited to amritdharis     the stupidity and shamelessness is getting way out of hand.    its beadbi  

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the true history dheaan which now bewakoof people are encouraging to do in Punjab making it easier for their daughters to be attacked

 

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13 hours ago, Wicked Warrior said:

I witnessed for the first time when I went to a wedding in Punjab last year. There were many people at the Kurmai. There was only immediate family at the Gurdwara. It wouldn’t be unreasonable to say there were 1000 people at the party. For me, the Anand Karaj has always been the important bit. The party less so. But I see even here in the UK, people will turn up to the reception party and not bother to go to the Gurdwara. They come for the opportunity to get drunk. 

I’m leaning towards this more and more too. Especially with the prospect of there being same-sex marriages in the Gurdwara. It’s bad enough that sham marriages happen between gay people of opposite sex. 

Again, first time I saw it last year and I could not believe how sexually suggestive the dancing was. It was horrifying. 

The suggestive dancing has gone on for decades. 

The first time I saw it, my jaw dropped. In Punjab nobody bats an eyelid. 

Compared to Punjab, you will probably see more people in the UK going to Anand Karaj and that I'd probably because of the milni and tea at the Gurdwara whereas the milni and tea in Punjab is at the palace. 

Never underestimate the lure of free food.

 

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