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Doli spectacle

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Back in the day many jananis didn't used to dance - my mum and her sister are terrible at dancing and when I was younger I would ask why they didn't dance like other ladies, and instead just stood there, did the mandatory clapping, and swiftly leave. I remember asking my Bibi about this too. According to them the "upper castes" did not engage in this behaviour; it was not permitted and seen as besharmi. However certain castes were permitted, and so dancers were hired I think? Can't remember.

Ironic now though. You see women who are well past the age of wearing brightly coloured suits nach'ing and tapp'ing. Oh vi uchi jaat de.

Weddings were so simple. Close family would go for Anand Kaaraj, everybody went back to the house, fed the baraat, sagan, bas. Hun pura drama hunda ah.

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Guest Prabh108

For the person wondering why the tears: A wedding is life altering particularly in a traditional arranged marriage and for pious religious girls who do not familiarly mix with males it is the fear and uncertainty of the unknown. 
As for dance this is primal art: the dance of Nataraj Shiva. Gurbani says “ nachan kudan man ka chao “ nothin sinful about folk dance but lustful lewd dancing is immoral. Girls performing mens traditional war harvest dance like bhangra is fundamentally abnormal unnatural and offputting - very bizarre besharm behaviour. Gidda is for girls. 
more than bhangra I find Afghan Pashtun traditional war dance more appealing: 

Ive only attended about two weddings in my life. 
 

i can’t believe perverts here at a supposedly Dharmic web forum dare to think of deviants ‘marriage’at Gurdvara. Is nothing sacred anymore? Don’t defile this website of Sangat with discussions of diseased perverts.   
 

Word Wed is linked to Ved which is linked to Wit knowledge. 
 

fire element is significant: from fire of womb we enter world of maya referred to as fire in Anand Sahib a most eugenic Bani - fire represents Brahman reference to God plus intelligence of first varna and woman also is represented by fire. Agni Deva is one of the primal elements: fire also symbolizes physical romantic pleasure within context of lawful marriage as well as digestive fire of the stomach. Fire dispels darkness and provides warmth. The significance of fire to spirituality and civilization can never be underestimated- and there is famous story of Prometheus theft of fire- some say he was gifted fire. 

leaving security of parents home and entering Grihast ashram of life is very emotional- tears r perfectly natural and to be expected- however the extreme boisterousness and alcohol shows lack of class and thanklessness. Especially those who flaunt their wealth and attempt to arouse envy. 
did u know alcohol creates round faces typical of the Dravidian phenotype not to mention fetal alcohol syndrome? 
if a person is serious about experiencing Naam Nesha they would shun liquor unless for genuinely medicinal purposes. 
it is sad to see losers apeing the very worst of the so-called western “culture”

a wedding is supposed to be essentially a religious day with a bit of seriousness too not just insaniac partying

 

 

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Dancing around is a recent thing in Punjabi culture. Back in India even in the 80s dancing was considered a shameless thing to do. In the old days people didn't dance in weddings. The dancing was done my the entertainers the kanjar/kanjris   thats why kanjar is used as a derogatory word in our language because entertainers were basically called kanjars.  I have family wedding albums from the 60s and 70s and no one is dancing or even smiling lol. But yeah in some weddings the boy side used to then have singers on stage. The singer did all the dancing and entertaining not the family or guests, that was the whole point of the entertainer. We have my massis wedding album from the 70s and all the women in my family are veiled and standing at the back, it the men that are doing everything. My massis inlaws had singers Mohammed Sadiq and Ranjit Kaur for entertainment but no woman is in the audience its just men. Women weren't allowed to look at singer. You can actually see videos on youtube of singers like Chamkila from the 80s and all the people in the audience are men. It was considered shameless of women to go to these places.   Punjabi culture until recently was actually a very conservative culture. 

My pua was telling me that whenever her chunni used to slip of her head the elders in the family used to slap the back of her head and tell her to cover her head. My mum told me that she wasn't allowed to leave the house without her head covered. In my Nanke family we had two court yards, the men stayed in one nearer to the front gate where all the animals were tied, while the women and children were in the the court yard at the back with the kitchen and bed rooms. The women didnt go over to the area where the men of the family sat and used to send the kids to give any messages. Men never really slept in the bed rooms but slept outside on the manje.   Bedrooms were for women and kids     thats how strict and conservative it was   genders were very segregated      

this whole dancing stuff is recent. 

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I don't really agree it but in the older days they even used to have punishments, there was obviously no laws in deep rural parts of Punjab so people took laws into their own hands. If you committed sexual sins then you were punished in a way that the community agreed on. My mothers brothers told me how when they were in Punjab a guy who was in a relationship with a girl from the same pind was punished for it! the people in the pind wanted him punished and it was decided that his face was to be painted black and he was sat on a old donkey and taken around in the whole pind!  really bad!   the poor lad ended up committing suicide by jumping into a well on the same day!   society was strict! and life was tough!     the girl on the other hand was married off 

If you go back even older days then people were murdered for adultery   in fact dakkus like Sucha and Jagga even became famous for being hired by families to murder women who committed adultery in their families!    i guess they were just a product of their time. 

point is that Punjabi culture was actually very very strict and conservative      all this dancing and freedom and besharam behavior is a very recent thing   

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Guest Jigsaw_Puzzled_Singh
On 10/24/2019 at 7:57 PM, puzzled said:

I don't really agree it but in the older days they even used to have punishments, there was obviously no laws in deep rural parts of Punjab so people took laws into their own hands. If you committed sexual sins then you were punished in a way that the community agreed on. My mothers brothers told me how when they were in Punjab a guy who was in a relationship with a girl from the same pind was punished for it! the people in the pind wanted him punished and it was decided that his face was to be painted black and he was sat on a old donkey and taken around in the whole pind!  really bad!   the poor lad ended up committing suicide by jumping into a well on the same day!   society was strict! and life was tough!     the girl on the other hand was married off 

If you go back even older days then people were murdered for adultery   in fact dakkus like Sucha and Jagga even became famous for being hired by families to murder women who committed adultery in their families!    i guess they were just a product of their time. 

point is that Punjabi culture was actually very very strict and conservative      all this dancing and freedom and besharam behavior is a very recent thing   

Back from Thailand. Been on a yoga retreat with no internet nor nuffink. Catching up with threads I've missed over the last few months and this one caught my eye.

😀 Puzzled, my brother. I guarantee you things are far more moral now than they used to be. For example, someone in the messages above said women didn't use to dance at weddings. Man....I can tell you I witnessed as a kid ladies sangeets with bolyan and giddha that could only be described as X-rated. The ladies boliyan used to be about extremely explicit stuff. Things are very moral these days compared to how they used to be. That's just one example. Our weddings used to be full of drunks...nowadays nobody gets paraletic drunk at weddings these days....everyone has far more control. Farmers and their sons back in Punjab use to use the chamarian cutting the patte as sex objects, taking them into the kamadh whenever they felt like it. You don't see that anymore. Our holy city Amritsar, for hundreds of years, use to have the largest red light district outside Lahore. You don't see that anymore. Punjabi boys have been teasing Punjabi girls and Punjabi girls have been behaving in a suggestive way since the beginning of time. What's changed is the false pretence is now gone. People have become more honest. For example, back in the day, in the villages, whenever an elder man had consumed alcohol and on his way through the village he passes a youngish bride to the village, he used to stand against the wall - facing the wall in silence until the girl had passed. Naive people used to think this was a sign of excellent morals but the truth is that it was because the man knew he had lustful thoughts, worried that the drink might amplify them, and so stood facing the wall as the only way to combat those thoughts. Alot of our culture in Punjab's villages comes from Persian / Afghan culture and the old man standing facing the wall whenever a pretty girl passes is still an everyday common feature in Afghanistan's villages. And we all know just how moral those guys really are.😉

So, morality, my brother, is a very fluid thing. Things in our community used be far more immoral yesteryear but it's just that there was more dakhava then.....people were more dishonest and so hid behind a false cloak of respectability.

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On 11/12/2019 at 8:23 AM, Guest Jigsaw_Puzzled_Singh said:

Farmers and their sons back in Punjab use to use the chamarian cutting the patte as sex objects, taking them into the kamadh whenever they felt like it

That still happens. My mama actually has a son with a chamar lady, shes a married woman as well,   so she has kids from her husband and a son from my mama!  It's open "secret"    he buys that kid and the kids mother everything they need. In my nanke pind there actually are a few jatt kids born in chamar houses!    My cousin brother is in a relationship with a chamar girl as well, I dont think they will be allowed to marry tho   

Thing is all this stuff used to happen back then, iv heard a lot from my mums brothers! the things they used to get up to in their youth!   But society was very hypocritical  so it was strict but messed up at the same time. They were hypocrites. 

Edited by puzzled

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Guest Jigsaw_Puzzled_Singh
28 minutes ago, puzzled said:

That still happens. My mama actually has a son with a chamar lady, shes a married woman as well,   so she has kids from her husband and a son from my mama!  It's open "secret"    he buys that kid and the kids mother everything they need. In my nanke pind there actually are a few jatt kids born in chamar houses!    My cousin brother is in a relationship with a chamar girl as well, I dont think they will be allowed to marry tho   

Thing is all this stuff used to happen back then, iv heard a lot from my mums brothers! the things they used to get up to in their youth!   But society was very hypocritical  so it was strict but messed up at the same time. They were hypocrites. 

Your mama sounds like a pukka badmarsh degenerate, Puzzled. :)

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On 11/14/2019 at 2:13 PM, Guest Jigsaw_Puzzled_Singh said:

Your mama sounds like a pukka badmarsh degenerate, Puzzled. :)

yh something along those lines lol!  what hes done is disgusting  obviously not read bani and the consequences of adultery. But at least he is acknowledging this kid!  most guys probably wont. he buys the kid clothes, gives him money etc  and buys the lady clothes as well etc      Shes around his house at events!       tbh that woman is just as bad as him!  shes a slapper and a homewrecker.  I once was on the top of the roof and looking down and i saw her walking must and she started waving at me as if she's my mami!        

shes just as much of a badmash and degenerate 

Edited by puzzled

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