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My Nightmare in a Jazzy B Hell


Guest Jigsaw_Puzzled_Singh
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On 1/14/2020 at 7:30 AM, Guest Jigsaw_Puzzled_Singh said:

In this nightmare, nearly every male in Punjab, from the ages of 11 to 49, had a bouffant / spikey hairstyle of the type that camp gay guys sport in the west. EVERY male. They wore the type of cargo pants that women in the west wear, above the ankles, without socks. When they did wear socks, which was very rare, with their wedding suits, they wore white socks of the type that people in the west wear when going to the gym or playing tennis. In this nightmare, the men in this 'land of warriors' went to beauty parlours once or twice a week to get facials and threading and, on special occassions - like weddings, to get manicures and pedicures. I just wish someone would pinch me and wake me from this nightmare.

Did you see anyone in your family looking like this? 

That must be a trip!

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Guest Brown-Eyes

Here in the UK, amongst football fans we have something called 'Full Kit W****r'

It is ok to buy a replica shirt of the team you support but unless you are a 8 year old boy or girl it's not an ok look to wear the whole kit! I mean full grown adults walking about their daily business with trainers, football socks (go past the knee), shorts, replica shirt.

Goodness me.

Then they are photographed and posted nay humiliated online (face blocked out) and then the "look" is slowly wiped out. Perhaps we should do this called 'The state of Punjab today' -then photos of these twits.

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On 1/14/2020 at 7:30 AM, Guest Jigsaw_Puzzled_Singh said:

So, having just returned from Punjab, let me tell you about a truly frightening nightmare I had while I was out there. It was a strange reoccurring nightmare that kept happening each night. Stranger still, because it seemed so real, especially as I was seeing the same things while seemingly awake during the daytime. Almost as if what I was seeing wasn't something in my sleep but actually real. But, it was so frightening it couldn't possibly have been real. It had to have been a nightmare. The scariest nightmare ever.

In this nightmare, nearly every male in Punjab, from the ages of 11 to 49, had a bouffant / spikey hairstyle of the type that camp gay guys sport in the west. EVERY male. They wore the type of cargo pants that women in the west wear, above the ankles, without socks. When they did wear socks, which was very rare, with their wedding suits, they wore white socks of the type that people in the west wear when going to the gym or playing tennis. In this nightmare, the men in this 'land of warriors' went to beauty parlours once or twice a week to get facials and threading and, on special occassions - like weddings, to get manicures and pedicures. I just wish someone would pinch me and wake me from this nightmare.

Lol those short socks with ankles showing are what usually certain sugar puffs males wear. So not sure why desi people in Indian are doing it. 

In India big hair is in. You will rarely find anyone with. Skin head like her in the west. 

 

 

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Guest Jigsaw_puzzled_singh
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Have you seen the proposal mini-bollywood style videos now being directed and played in the receptions nowadays? What the hell is that? They are filming these hugging and kissing in the public before anand karaj (includes religious couple as well) and then showing it to the world in the reception. Our folks are the worst and first to make the jump and leave our precious traditions rotting in the back. So, this public theme based "surprise" proposal is nothing but a khusreyaa da kam.

Ah yes S1ngh....the Pre-Wedding Shoot. It was very much an integral part of my nightmare. Still can't be sure whether it was all a bad dream or was real. The 4K professional quality of the finished product was so unbelievably good....better than anything Hollywood editors could do in 6 months....I'm beginning to think it couldn't possibly have been real. 

The nightmare...or bad dream....started as soon as I came out of the airport in Delhi. The people I was expecting to come and get me weren't there. In their place was a little boy and a couple of his friends. I say 'little boy' but he must be about 2o something now but the point is I remember him from before as a little boy and I still think he was too young to be driving my family's car. So I get in the car....we're on our way and the conversation goes something like this :

Me: How come so and so didn't come and get me ?

Boy: They were all asleep. They're tired after coming back from the pre-wedding shoot.

Me: Pre-wedding shoot ? What's a pre-wedding shoot ?

Boy : What you mean whats a pre-wedding shoot ?

Me: What you mean what I mean ? Whats a pre-wedding shoot ?

Boy: You never heard of a pre-wedding shoot ?

Me: No I never heard of a pre-wedding shoot. What's a pre-wedding shoot ?

Boy: They don't have pre-wedding shoots in England.

Me: No they don't have pre-wedding shoots in England. Maybe they do...I mean they have pre-wedding photos... but first I need to know what a pre-wedding shoot is ?

Boy: It's part of the wedding. Everyone does it. They were in Himachal Pradesh for more than 24 houtrs shooting it.You can't get past Canadian immigration interview without it.

Me: What the hell are you talking about ? I'm asking you what a pre-wedding shoot is and you're telling me about the interview with Canadian immigration....Plus....I don't think they should have let you drive my dad's car all the way to Delhi. You're just a boy. I'm gonna tell them when we get there. Drive carefully. Don't drive too fast. You're driving too fast. I need to stop at a kariana store to get some toilet paper and then you need to stop at a place with clean toilets. The type with a western toilet. Not one with a hole in the ground. Are you old enough to drive ? Do you have a valid drivers licence and what the hell is a pre-wedding shoot ?

3 days later, at the wedding, they play the pre-wedding shoot at the reception. I finally get to see what the pre-wedding shoot is. The first thing that strikes you is this : How can a people that can't keep roads and toilets clean manage to film and edit such a beautiful product of Hollywood standards in just 3 days ?  How ? In the video....the bride and groom kiss and cuddle and everyone in the palace whoops with delight. In this professional video, that was shot, among other places, in the beautifull lakes of Himachal, the groom drives an old exotic yellow car through the mountains. Everyone is like 'wow'. This truly is a 'wow' moment because in this land where every car comes in either white or white a yellow car is truly a magical thing. It must be a great car. But it's not. I recognise it. It's a Citroen BX. I turn around at the reception to the fella sitting next to me and say:

Me: That car's nothing special. It's a Citroen BX. My dad used to have one.

This is a lie. As far as I know my dad never used to have one. But the point is the Citroen BX was a such a common run of the mill everyday car in the England of my youth that my dad could easily have had one. I don't know why but I found it upsetting that everyone was in awe of a yellow Citroen BX. The whole trip has been a never-ending nightmare.

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On 1/16/2020 at 3:53 PM, Guest Jigsaw_Puzzled_Singh said:

See these images below ?   Well, basically, every man and boy (even 50 year olds) in the villages of doaba has this same hairstyle. EVERY ONE of THEM !!

Ladies cargo pants, no socks with formal shoes. EVERY BLUDDY ONE OF THEM !!

Punjab in the winter cold is like a crazy topsy turvy world where all logic has turned on it's head. The females are all plain and wear these hideously ugly / unattractive woolly hats and the kind of socks you'd expect to see on a granny from the council estate waiting in line to draw her pension at the post office in Doncaster while the men spend their days getting facials and threading at the beauty parlour. 

I kid you not.....the groom, at the wedding I went to, got a manicure because his hands will be on display whilst holding the kirpan at his anand karaj and a pedicure because his feet will be in camera shot. Now, I'm not gonna argue with the pedicure business because, frankly, every person in Punjab has the same grotesquely deformed feet you'd expect to see on a sasquatch in a horror movie but I truly despair at what panzies the males in Punjab have become.

 

Related image

Image result for boys in punjab hairstyle

Image result for boys in punjab hairstyle

Image result for boys in punjab hairstyle

Image result for punjab boys fashion

 

 

You're talking about the doaba region.

What did you expect to see? Someone actually wearing a pagh?

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On 1/22/2020 at 7:23 PM, Not2Cool2Argue said:

I nominate puzzled. Call it fashion police. And everytime u go to india. Take pics of the worst ones. Then do a commentary on it. And give a few tips too. And make sure u keep mentioning that in the west this is camp/gay and laughable.

Hopefully it will get thru. I bet you'd get lots of views

That can be sikhsangat's contribution to the Panth: Stop panjab and youth from being too camp

haha good idea.

 

Also I am going to make this thread viral on whatsapp, it just needs to be done... 

 

I will try my best for it to make it to India

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On 2/2/2020 at 11:29 PM, Guest Jigsaw_puzzled_singh said:

Ah yes S1ngh....the Pre-Wedding Shoot. It was very much an integral part of my nightmare. Still can't be sure whether it was all a bad dream or was real. The 4K professional quality of the finished product was so unbelievably good....better than anything Hollywood editors could do in 6 months....I'm beginning to think it couldn't possibly have been real. 

The nightmare...or bad dream....started as soon as I came out of the airport in Delhi. The people I was expecting to come and get me weren't there. In their place was a little boy and a couple of his friends. I say 'little boy' but he must be about 2o something now but the point is I remember him from before as a little boy and I still think he was too young to be driving my family's car. So I get in the car....we're on our way and the conversation goes something like this :

Me: How come so and so didn't come and get me ?

Boy: They were all asleep. They're tired after coming back from the pre-wedding shoot.

Me: Pre-wedding shoot ? What's a pre-wedding shoot ?

Boy : What you mean whats a pre-wedding shoot ?

Me: What you mean what I mean ? Whats a pre-wedding shoot ?

Boy: You never heard of a pre-wedding shoot ?

Me: No I never heard of a pre-wedding shoot. What's a pre-wedding shoot ?

Boy: They don't have pre-wedding shoots in England.

Me: No they don't have pre-wedding shoots in England. Maybe they do...I mean they have pre-wedding photos... but first I need to know what a pre-wedding shoot is ?

Boy: It's part of the wedding. Everyone does it. They were in Himachal Pradesh for more than 24 houtrs shooting it.You can't get past Canadian immigration interview without it.

Me: What the hell are you talking about ? I'm asking you what a pre-wedding shoot is and you're telling me about the interview with Canadian immigration....Plus....I don't think they should have let you drive my dad's car all the way to Delhi. You're just a boy. I'm gonna tell them when we get there. Drive carefully. Don't drive too fast. You're driving too fast. I need to stop at a kariana store to get some toilet paper and then you need to stop at a place with clean toilets. The type with a western toilet. Not one with a hole in the ground. Are you old enough to drive ? Do you have a valid drivers licence and what the hell is a pre-wedding shoot ?

3 days later, at the wedding, they play the pre-wedding shoot at the reception. I finally get to see what the pre-wedding shoot is. The first thing that strikes you is this : How can a people that can't keep roads and toilets clean manage to film and edit such a beautiful product of Hollywood standards in just 3 days ?  How ? In the video....the bride and groom kiss and cuddle and everyone in the palace whoops with delight. In this professional video, that was shot, among other places, in the beautifull lakes of Himachal, the groom drives an old exotic yellow car through the mountains. Everyone is like 'wow'. This truly is a 'wow' moment because in this land where every car comes in either white or white a yellow car is truly a magical thing. It must be a great car. But it's not. I recognise it. It's a Citroen BX. I turn around at the reception to the fella sitting next to me and say:

Me: That car's nothing special. It's a Citroen BX. My dad used to have one.

This is a lie. As far as I know my dad never used to have one. But the point is the Citroen BX was a such a common run of the mill everyday car in the England of my youth that my dad could easily have had one. I don't know why but I found it upsetting that everyone was in awe of a yellow Citroen BX. The whole trip has been a never-ending nightmare.

To be serious a moment though S1ngh, given what you said about the pre-wedding shoot in your original message : It is actually a very worrying sign. Worrying in that the concept of 'shame' has been so eroded in Punjab society. I genuinely feel for some of the new brides in Punjab who may have come from traditionally moral backgrounds and are then forced to participate in these shenanigans prior to the wedding with a man they've only briefly met before. It must make them feel so unbearably uncomfortable and then, to make matters even worse, they have to sit there at the actual wedding whilst their mother, father, grandparents, chache and thayeh watch them kissing on a big screen. 

I mentioned the word 'forced' just now and that's exactly what it is. There were 2 things I said in my 'nightmare' message above that were not picked up on by anybody here but they're important. In that message, I said the boy said "Everyone does it" and "you need it for the Canadian immigration interview".  

And that's how this whole thing started. It's a vicious circle. Video photographers once told some gullible people that it's a vital part of the Canadian spousal visa application because the Canadian embassy won't believe it's a genuine marriage without it. People believed it and so people did it. And then because people did it everybody else had to do it too. And now, because everyone really does do it....the Canadian embassy people probably would think it's a bit strange if  a couple turn up for their interview at the embassy without it. There's only one winner in all of this and that's the people working in video-photography in Punjab. The losers are us all because we've eroded one of our most valuable possessions : our collective morality.

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