sexting

[Guest Loved Up]

1 hour ago, Not2Cool2Argue said:

Sikhi is not a rule book. That you can do this or and not that.

We have been given a brain and a conscience, we should be able to figure it out.

The less addicting stuff we do the better. So the less video games, movies, sec, entertainment the better. But some people will become depressed with such a life. So do the minimum you can. 

The more addicting stuff you do, you will be pulled into it and your mind will not be able to focus on naam simran and Gurbani. 

So ask yourself about everything, will this just be a good time or will it interfere with my amrit Vela and nitnem. Do I feel like I just think about this during paath,  then I should decrease it. 

Also about oral and other stuff you asked about. It is not hygienic as you will be exchanging body fluids. Of course with only 1 lifetime partner the danger is less but heres a story: there used to be herpes 1 and herpes 2. Herpes 1 gives u cold sores near ur lips. And herpes 2 was considered genital herpes but now these viruses are indistinguishable probably due to oral.

With bdsm you are feeding Ahankaar and anger. But you can say it is playacting etc. 

So best to avoid. But there are not forbidden. Use your judgement.

As for sexting, your phone can be made public. A kid can accidentally access it etc. 

Maybe indulge in this stuff and get it out of ur system and then refocus ur mind on the important stuff.

Also best to avoid this stuff when trying to conceive. As the environment can affect the personality and type of child one can get. And as sikhs we ofc want the most spiritual and dynamic souls as future sikhs. So it is advised that parents do alot of of good deeds and paath to welcome a good soul.

Thanks man. I appreciate your thoughts. I am sure numerous people that have read your post will feel they have answers to similar questions I had answered.

Could you verify that any of the things I listed are not something me and my wife would have to go pesh for?

Please do not judge - I promise we have not carried out any of these actions hence why I came and asked in this forum first. Yes I admit we exchanged explicit messages but that is when I had to ask if this was wrong in Sikhi. We have not done any of the other things and is sonething that should be discussed with Sikhi and our jivan in mind. If any of these things that I listed are considered a kuret between husband and wife without a doubt me and my wife would not want to commit that. But as you said (and I respect you for being so down to earth, open and a realist) I will be honest I have had these thibgs listed on my mind even when doing paath. So would it be wrong for me and my wife to indulge in such activities and get it "out of our system" and move on. It is the fact there is no Yes or No answer by Maharaj that makes it tempting and almost a option because it is not listed as a kuret by 5 Singhs....

Sorry for sounding like a dirty m'fkr but I rather be open and honest than bulshlt myself and others....

[S1ngh]

I think you have the answers given by other members here. Maybe advice given is something that munn does not want you to hear and hoping to see/hear/read some different type of response in a more liberal sense. Keep good sangat. Stay off from bad words and sangat. Avoid becoming victim of this materialistic world. If you want to get more deeper answer then you and your singhni needs to go more into sikhi practically. 

[ipledgeblue]

maybe also read Charitropakhyan???

[Guest TripleSikhs]

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[Guest Loved up]

17 hours ago, S1ngh said:

I think you have the answers given by other members here. Maybe advice given is something that munn does not want you to hear and hoping to see/hear/read some different type of response in a more liberal sense. Keep good sangat. Stay off from bad words and sangat. Avoid becoming victim of this materialistic world. If you want to get more deeper answer then you and your singhni needs to go more into sikhi practically. 

I will be honest, now that I have thought about it you guys ARE right - although you have not said it specifically I have the impression that obviously all these things listed are not going to better me and my wife as gursikhs. I think the wave of kaam seems to have passed from my body and feel like I can for once think logically. End of the day as Guru Teg Bahadur Ji says that having physical relations with your own wife - even daily is just but not to go to the bed of another even in a dream. So I suppose just being normal and in terms of intercourse is still enough to release the kaamic energy so is there any point of increasing that energy by adding all the things I listed. Surely I should be content from the typical manner of physical relations without ruining my own and wife's jivan. Sorry for typing what I am thinking. Anyway I appreciate you guys that helped a brother/son out I feel I have some form of control over kaam energy. Initially I felt like it was controlling me. 

5 hours ago, ipledgeblue said:

maybe also read Charitropakhyan???

Yes thanks - I will.

So on a closing note I have come to a decision and I hope Waheguru and you all will consider it correct according to Sikhi that no we shall refrain from such activities as listed but yes forgive me I am sorry I am still young in order to manage my kaam urges I will need to have physical relations with my wife on a daily/regular basis otherwise my mind goes off on a bloody kaam thought rampage because my body feels starved... tell me this is fine. As far as I am concerned our 9th Guru said it is fine so surely this can't be considered over-indulging?

Also initially as I admitted me and my wife did exchange explicit messages do we need to go pesh?

Apologies for being a pain in the arrse - still learning things about sikhi and marital life.