sexting

[ipledgeblue]

On 1/18/2020 at 2:08 AM, Guest loved up said:

As a married amritdhari couple is it wrong to send lustful/explicit messages to each other. We want to keep our flame alight. I just don't know if it's against sikhi...? 

yo mate...

learn to be poetic and write romantic stuff. be a bit more literate if you need to express your feelings through text/instant message...

[S1ngh]

^^ Good answer above.

Singh ji, you are setting an example for your house and you are laying the foundation for your future generations to come. So, if i am in your place, i will be careful with everything in the category of 1. Kaam 2. Krodh 3. Lobh 4. Moh & 5. Hankar. So, being a Sikh and Amritdhari it is our big religious lawful duty to be different than whatever the trend is going on in our society. We need not to be easily sway'd away from our guru's given path.  

We are the chosen one. Remember not everyone out of thousands got up to give head when our Dasam patshah jee asked for the kurbani of giving up everything - materialistic life and enter the lifestyle of khalsa. The life of Pure. Pure from all PANJ CHOR. 

[brotha]

On 1/18/2020 at 2:08 AM, Guest loved up said:

As a married amritdhari couple is it wrong to send lustful/explicit messages to each other. We want to keep our flame alight. I just don't know if it's against sikhi...? 

One should remember that if one is a sikh of the Guru, and moreover Amritdhari, one's goal is to stay away as much as possible from the 5 vikars, and gradually with His bhakti nullify the mind, consequently the vikars.

Our relation with Guru Jee and Waheguru is above any other relations.

Why do not try and substitute kamee impulses with devotional thoughts and focused mind on the Lotus Feet of Waheguru.

Give it a throughly thought bro...

Saas saas simro Gobind.

Try and love Waheguru. And you shall be ferried across the Mahabhavsagar.

What else is then left to be achieved?

Nothing.

[kidsama]

7 hours ago, BhForce said:

There's a world of difference in engaging in sexuality being married vs. not.

It's like saying "haha, I wouldn't expect amritdharis to eat". Well, you wouldn't expect amritdharis to eat food they stole. It's OK to eat food you bought.

well I wouldn't know. Nor am I amritdhari nor am I married. But I would expect that love and lust are two different things even when it comes to physical human relationship. Right? Or maybe both persons in relationship have to be at a high level to differentiate between lust and love and act accordingly.? 

and if we are on this topic,  is it not lust to use a natural mechanism, that is meant for procreation, to get the pleasure, and at the end simply pull out (sorry for being explicit). Is there a difference between making love and fu**ing? 

[Guest daas guest singh]

10 hours ago, kidsama said:

and if we are on this topic,  is it not lust to use a natural mechanism, that is meant for procreation, to get the pleasure, and at the end simply pull out (sorry for being explicit). Is there a difference between making love and fu**ing?

exactly ma point veerji/bhenji

[S1ngh]

On 1/19/2020 at 6:23 PM, kidsama said:

well I wouldn't know. Nor am I amritdhari nor am I married. But I would expect that love and lust are two different things even when it comes to physical human relationship. Right? Or maybe both persons in relationship have to be at a high level to differentiate between lust and love and act accordingly.? 

and if we are on this topic,  is it not lust to use a natural mechanism, that is meant for procreation, to get the pleasure, and at the end simply pull out (sorry for being explicit). Is there a difference between making love and fu**ing? 

The way I see it is that it depends on the spiritual stage of the couple. Remember we are not robots programmed to act in a such manner. There is no program/software put in us to behave only in such particular way.

Giving example based on original topic here. One couple who are amritdhari but their spiritual jeevani is at - let say beginner level.  They believe issues like eating outside or sexting between them is ok. This is because their inner mind (spiritual level) does not make them think that it is wrong ‘yet’. 

Now another couple who are practicing Sikhi at high spiritual level and their mind says to refrain eating outside and not to indulge in any sexting etc etc at all cost. That is their gurmat oriented Khalsa lifestyle.

They both are Sikh couple at different spiritual stage. There is no quick fix to make the young couple think otherwise, unless they advance to the higher spirituality with help of sangat and their own self-discipline. 

Now you will also see another type of folks following rules to refrain from certain things such as above 2 issues.. but the only negative part is that they are doing it without their inner spiritual awakening. Now, it is always good to have rules for newbie to follow but it is a temporary roadmap bridge to get on high ground of spirituality. We have lot of those folks who are stuck at that ‘suppose to be temporary bridge’ and not moving forward. To them rules are rules but to understand behind those rules, they will only understand the real meaning when they have their own spiritual awakening. Until then we will see negative  cases like divorces, them being victims of Panj vikars etc etc.

[Guest Loved Up]

Thank you for all the replies. But I did not mean to cause such a hostile environment. You all may think I am a dirty individual for asking such questions but I would rather ask if I am allowed to do something than making a mistake and feeling guilty.

I think it is rather sad that our panth is such as this that if we ask a question about a sensitive topic we get shot up for it. Is it really wrong to ask for help? 

I would rather have a black or white answer to my life and not remain stuck in the grey. It is like we know the following:

- Being gay, lesbian, bisexual or being transgender is a NO in Sikhi.

Thank you for clearing that up. Now as the future generation/s WE know what is WRONG.

Surely if we power our generations with knowledge there wouldn't be somany mistakes in the first place. It is the fact NO one talks about these things that people decide to make decisions for themselves. It is the fact they KNOW they will be ridiculed for asking. I did not want to be judged I just wanted to know if anything I do will not go against Sikhi. I apologise for this. But a younger generation can only learn from the elder one. Brushing these questions under the carpet will not remove them from the minds of billions - it just an opening for individuals unable to refrain from the wrong or making a positive change in their jivan.

So can anyone answer me in a mature manner consider it a father son conversation please. As a son I am asking the Sangat the following is the following allowed between a Amritdhari husband and wife:

- sexting

- anal

- oral

- BDSM

Whatever you say I will consider it a fatherly advice and do ardas to maharaj that may I follow in an obedient manner. If I don't ask I won't know. I want to know these things too for in the future sometime I am sure I will have children too. Atleast I can advice him accordongly. Knowledge is power to do right or wrong.

 Thanks to all. Apologies for everything.

[Guest Loved Up]

So should I consider this 'no response' a message to me, my generation and future generations that 'Don't rely on your panth when faced with a predicament...'? I don't understand why it is so difficult to discuss a subject/s that is so commonly thought about and may well be carried out by many couples.... I know as a possible future dad I am going to be open with my children and tell them straight look kids this is something you can do and this is something you should not. Why is everyone so scared to talk about sex education? Would you rather your sons and daughters learn through hidden discussions & activities with people outside of our panth. Am sure there are plenty of suleh ready to talk about sex to your adolescent daughter. Why isn't anyone man/woman enough to help? If I knew the answer I wouldn't be asking. Call me what you want - label me but I would like to know the dos and donts in a amritdhari husband wife relationship please. 

[Not2Cool2Argue]

Sikhi is not a rule book. That you can do this or and not that.

We have been given a brain and a conscience, we should be able to figure it out.

The less addicting stuff we do the better. So the less video games, movies, sec, entertainment the better. But some people will become depressed with such a life. So do the minimum you can. 

The more addicting stuff you do, you will be pulled into it and your mind will not be able to focus on naam simran and Gurbani. 

So ask yourself about everything, will this just be a good time or will it interfere with my amrit Vela and nitnem. Do I feel like I just think about this during paath,  then I should decrease it. 

Also about oral and other stuff you asked about. It is not hygienic as you will be exchanging body fluids. Of course with only 1 lifetime partner the danger is less but heres a story: there used to be herpes 1 and herpes 2. Herpes 1 gives u cold sores near ur lips. And herpes 2 was considered genital herpes but now these viruses are indistinguishable probably due to oral.

With bdsm you are feeding Ahankaar and anger. But you can say it is playacting etc. 

So best to avoid. But there are not forbidden. Use your judgement.

As for sexting, your phone can be made public. A kid can accidentally access it etc. 

Maybe indulge in this stuff and get it out of ur system and then refocus ur mind on the important stuff.

Also best to avoid this stuff when trying to conceive. As the environment can affect the personality and type of child one can get. And as sikhs we ofc want the most spiritual and dynamic souls as future sikhs. So it is advised that parents do alot of of good deeds and paath to welcome a good soul.

[BhForce]

15 minutes ago, Not2Cool2Argue said:

The less addicting stuff we do the better. So the less video games, movies, sec, entertainment the better. But some people will become depressed with such a life. So do the minimum you can. 

Good answer.

ਇਹ ਰਸ ਛਾਡੇ ਉਹ ਰਸੁ ਆਵਾ ॥

ਉਹ ਰਸੁ ਪੀਆ ਇਹ ਰਸੁ ਨਹੀ ਭਾਵਾ ॥੩੫॥

Abandoning these tastes, I have found that taste.

Drinking that taste, this worldly taste is no longer pleasing. ||35||

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