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Sikhs Marrying late - What is the issue


Big_Tera
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21 hours ago, jkvlondon said:

it makes more sense to marry early as your health, energy and strength is at its peak , kids will be born to non-geriatric mums (its the medical term) so Mums  will have shorter labours , quicker recovery and baby less likely to have abnormailities.

I thought it was advice to parents to marry children as soon as they are old enough  by Guru ji this prevents misadventures .

That was my thinking also. So why do people get married so late these days. They did not know the health implications of late pregnancy? 

Ovaries and eggs are all affected by our age. Yet people still wanna enjoy being single.

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marriage talk makes me all anxious lol coz im 27 now and I should of been  married by now! 

Thing is I do get rishtas   within the last couple of months theres 3 rishtas that I can remember but I'm keep on saying no to all

I wanna meet som1 myself rather than arranged marriage   that's the thing!   that's why I'm keep on saying no      but my parents are getting inpatient as well  now.

A few weeks back at the gurdwara I had a girl come upto to me asking me if I'm married and I said  no   and she said shes asking for her cousin who wants to get married      i just said to her that I'm already with someone lol

I told my mum this and she said people are finding it really hard to get married and rishtas etc   so people are now resorting to asking at gurdware etc 

Idnno    I wanna get something sorted my the end of this yr.  I hope god has mercy on me and introduces me to som1 I would really appreciate that lol   jke 

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On 4/18/2020 at 3:23 PM, Jonny101 said:

Ideally marriage should be at the latest 25 years of age for both genders. The later you go the more vikaars start to enter into you and you start to mess around by having many BFs before marriage. If you're going to mess around why not just get married and do it with your own spouse?

 

I have a  distant cousin. After she finished her education she was in her early 20s. My parents asked her father when she will get married. He laughed it off as if something weird was asked and said "oh don't worry she will marry after but first she has to work a few years and make her career". They delayed her marriage even though she was getting rishte but they kept on rejecting it because they wanted her to make her career. By the time she reached 30 she found a Muslim and married him. Her parents felt so embarrassed they didn't invite most of the relatives to the wedding.

 

Another case in my relatives is of a girl who was 24 still studying to become a doctor. Her parents found a Rishta. The boy was also studying to become a doctor. They had them married while they were still studying. Today both of them are doctors. Once they became MDs they had their first child.

 

 

Yep marrying young is key. Not to young though. 25 is a good age to marry. People often regret when they leave it to late. You need to be young and health to look after your kids. 

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25 minutes ago, Big_Tera said:

Yep marrying young is key. Not to young though. 25 is a good age to marry. People often regret when they leave it to late. You need to be young and health to look after your kids. 

What I find with our people is that small children are predominantly looked after by the grandparents. 

Go to the gates during school run and a lot of times it is the grandparents picking up the kids. 

The young parents are usually at work. If they don't have their parents to look after them, the children are taken to private nurseries or some kind of childcare.

This can explain why some people get married and have kids later. Because they have enough money to be able to afford kids, so that one spouse can take more time out or work part-time. 

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3 hours ago, Ranjeet01 said:

What I find with our people is that small children are predominantly looked after by the grandparents. 

Go to the gates during school run and a lot of times it is the grandparents picking up the kids. 

The young parents are usually at work. If they don't have their parents to look after them, the children are taken to private nurseries or some kind of childcare.

This can explain why some people get married and have kids later. Because they have enough money to be able to afford kids, so that one spouse can take more time out or work part-time. 

Good point actually. I think priority should always go with starting a family over a career. But in today's money driven society people place greater importance on work life. 

Maybe this could also explain why Sikhs have less kids these days also. In the olden times the family structure was different. There were plenty of people in the household to look after the kids. Now a days. Kids are to difficult to manage by the parents themselves so they have less. 

In the previous generations.of Punjabis. It was a given that they would have around 6 - 8 kids minimum, with 6 being the norm and average.  

Now a days parents are happy with 2. 

 

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5 hours ago, Big_Tera said:

Good point actually. I think priority should always go with starting a family over a career. But in today's money driven society people place greater importance on work life. 

Maybe this could also explain why Sikhs have less kids these days also. In the olden times the family structure was different. There were plenty of people in the household to look after the kids. Now a days. Kids are to difficult to manage by the parents themselves so they have less. 

In the previous generations.of Punjabis. It was a given that they would have around 6 - 8 kids minimum, with 6 being the norm and average.  

Now a days parents are happy with 2. 

 

In the old days you could afford to live on one income with 5-6 kids.

You cannot do that now, you need 2 incomes.

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I hope I dnt get white hair in my dhari though b4 I get married! Iv seen singhs in their 20s with white hair in their dhari. I dnt mind white in my hair but wouldn't want white in my dhari in my 20s!  I dnt think this is normal.  

People in india get white hair a lot later. I'm not sure why that is.   Both my nana and nani died in their mid 70s and half of their hair was still black. My nanas dhari half of it was a really dark grey. Iv seen this alot in bazurgs in punjab. 

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