Sikhs Marrying late - What is the issue

[Koi]

9 hours ago, DoabeyWali said:

Really? This still happens? in UK?

This absolutely still happens in the UK. All the people running the Gurdwara lists are Jatt, majority of the people on the list are Jatt and majority want a Jaat or their own caste.

I can't tell you the sheer number of times I would find a a girl who's criteria matches mine right down to the most tiny detail, but it can't be progressed because I'm not a Jatt. You'll even come across some aunties who say that the criteria matches and he is a nice boy, "just a shame he ain't Jatt".

And before you ask, Amritdhari families are just as bad (if not worse) when it comes to caste. I've come across dastaar wearing girls from Gursikh families who still peddle the caste crap. 

And the sad irony is, that none of there people know anything about the caste system. Ask them, what does the word "Jatt" actually mean? Where do jatts come from? Who was the first Jatt? Where is the caste system from? Who made it and why? 

It's unfortunate, but true. I'm almost 33, and this is still the biggest thorn in my side. Guys and girls of this generation: please grow a pair and tell your parents to drop the caste crap. It's time we put this bullsh1t to rest once and for all, it else future generations will never forgive us. Choice is yours...

[DoabeyWali]

10 hours ago, Koi said:

I can't tell you the sheer number of times I would find a a girl who's criteria matches mine right down to the most tiny detail, but it can't be progressed because I'm not a Jatt. You'll even come across some aunties who say that the criteria matches and he is a nice boy, "just a shame he ain't Jatt".

This sort of stuff makes me feel ashamed for being from the jatt community

Sorry man! I hope you find someone soon

[Big_Tera]

On 4/26/2020 at 8:40 AM, Koi said:

This absolutely still happens in the UK. All the people running the Gurdwara lists are Jatt, majority of the people on the list are Jatt and majority want a Jaat or their own caste.

I can't tell you the sheer number of times I would find a a girl who's criteria matches mine right down to the most tiny detail, but it can't be progressed because I'm not a Jatt. You'll even come across some aunties who say that the criteria matches and he is a nice boy, "just a shame he ain't Jatt".

And before you ask, Amritdhari families are just as bad (if not worse) when it comes to caste. I've come across dastaar wearing girls from Gursikh families who still peddle the caste crap. 

And the sad irony is, that none of there people know anything about the caste system. Ask them, what does the word "Jatt" actually mean? Where do jatts come from? Who was the first Jatt? Where is the caste system from? Who made it and why? 

It's unfortunate, but true. I'm almost 33, and this is still the biggest thorn in my side. Guys and girls of this generation: please grow a pair and tell your parents to drop the caste crap. It's time we put this bullsh1t to rest once and for all, it else future generations will never forgive us. Choice is yours...

I'm sure you can find someone of your own caste. Without trying to find a girl of another caste. Seems like your looking for perfection. 

Let me give you a little advice. All women are the same when it comes down to it. Just go for one before it's to late. 

Seems like some just have convenient excuses. To enjoy the single life. 

[Big_Tera]

On 4/25/2020 at 8:36 AM, Koi said:

Bringing back to the original question, you can definitely see on the Gurdwara lists that there are many more over 30s than under, for boys and girls.

Being a guy, one of the biggest problems I've seen is caste. No matter if all the other criteria match, the caste always seems to come in the way. I honestly hope that this is wiped out before the next generation. 

Another thing I've seen is people (especially girls) being scared of commitment. They still want to "find themselves" and find someone on the "same wavelength" as them, whatever that means. It's almost as if they've got their heads in some Disneyland cloud, waiting for their prince charming or something. Real life does not work that way.

Know who you are, what you do and don't want, and what you can and can't compromise on. And draw up a criteria.

And for God's sake talk to your parents! I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've come across girls who have not discussed caste or any marriage related topic with their parents. If two people start getting to know each other and build a relationship, but when the parents find out they have some kind of problem with caste etc. what you gonna do about it? Stand your ground or break the guys heart? So please get all this stuff ironed out before you play the grown up games, otherwise just sit on the side lines like the rest of the kids.

That is the thing. Our lot are still trying to find themselves. 

When Muslims have already found themselves and have about 5 kids. But the time they are 32.. 

It's time our lot made the plunge and tied the knot alot sooner instead of being afraid of marriage.