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I want to back off saying no to him without hurting him . Please help!


Guest Anonymous Kaur
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Guest Anonymous Kaur

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh, I need help in saying I don’t want the relationship anymore or to end it but without insulting myself or hurting the other person. 
ok so there was this guy who proposed to me and I said yes because he wore a turban, doesn’t cut hair, is respectful and has a good career. He is from another caste but that didn’t affect me much, i knew it will for my parents with old mentality but I know I’d convince them.  Being in a relationship for about 7 months but known each other for a couple months more because used to chat. We only met like 3 times only. He told me he rejected many girls because thinkings don’t match and thinks our does but Only I know they don’t match based on Sikhi or many other things our thinkings don’t match. I just go along with him agreeing on his thinking to not create fights or anything but deep down I don’t like it. I took Sri Hukamnama Sahib once for him thinking if it is positive it is a yes from Guru Sahib Ji to keep him and if not then no. I got it a little negative ( no Bani is negative but what I mean is Guru Sahib Ji weren’t happy not a Parsanta wala Sri Hukamnama Sahib) so it means it’s a no. Now I don’t know to say this to him or to back off so I don’t waste his time or hurt him. I am stressed about how to tell him. My friend told me to lie that your dad isn’t saying yes (he know my mom knows and his family knows about me just spoke over the phone with them only ). I am worried about insulting myself (he might say crap to me or his family will since it’s been a while together). I am worried about lying too because his family including hum might hate my dad for no reason. Also, he might say fight with dad or explain to him and fight for love. Please help me what should I do? 

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Guest Honesty and truth

Its may be hard to do but if you can be honest about your thought of not being right match and that you don't feel right to pursue the relationship further that would be best approach. 

However you will need to be firm and not give in. Give the guy a break, straight to the point and dont drag him on.

 

Worst thing you can do is go along with it creating emotional issues for all involved. Ive seen ppl go as far as marriage then divorcing. The longer you leave it the more difficult it gets.

Secondly i want to add, if its perfection you seek, that is a myth, every marriage is a challenge. But hopefully you can make more informed decisions going forward.

Good luck

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