Marriage Concerns

[Guest Gupt Guy]

My parents are in the motion of getting me married and are looking for a suitable rishta. I’m struggling to find an amritdhari girl I’m attracted to. Facial hair is really putting me off and as bad as it sounds I find it extremely unattractive on girls. It’s hard and my parents are pressuring me now. I don’t want to forced into a marriage to a girl I don’t find attractive. 
 

 

I mentioned to one girl about bleaching or getting laser treatment but she refused and that rishta went down the pan.

 

I’m stuck at the minute as I can’t see beyond the facial hair. I don’t know what more I can do other than marry a non amritdhari. 

[Guest Really?]

Are you amritdhari? If so I really wonder why you asked an amritdhari girl to remove facial hair for the rishta to go ahead

[Guest Kaur]

21 hours ago, Guest Gupt Guy said:

I mentioned to one girl about bleaching or getting laser treatment but she refused and that rishta went down the pan.

Singhni gave up a rishta, but not her Sikhi Jo bole so nihal Sat Sri Akaal!

[Redoptics 203]

Dont worry it takes years to find your wife, don't rush, but keep your Hope's up

[Guruguruji 49]

Not every amritdhari girl has excessive facial hair. Sometimes it's a good idea to just get to know the person first because you might just click and you might not even notice the hair anymore. 

Looks fade away but if you really feel that you can't look past the hair, it's probably best to marry a non amritdhari or an amritdhari who has the same views as u

[MisterrSingh 3,815]

 

[Singh1989 179]

Don't worry too much about it. In your case I'd recommened love marriage and not arranged. 

I been married to my wife over a year now. Although she took Amrit b4 marriage she revealed to me only two weeks ago that she's a Radha Swami (not that I give a shi)- But will write a blog on that another time. YES 5 Singhs gave n prepared the Amrit, YES 5 baania were done and YES all done in front of SGGS. YES the Dera she visited when young teaches translations from SGGS ONLY. 

Back to point, a love marriage for Amritdhari means dating someone WITHOUT kissing or sleeping with them. THAT happens after Anand Karaj. Means calling them to get to kno em better. A decision should be made in 6 months to a year. After a year's pushing it. 

U need love marriage, not arranged. 

 

[puzzled 2,766]

1 hour ago, Singh1989 said:

she revealed to me only two weeks ago that she's a Radha Swami

thats some scary stuff  

1 hour ago, Singh1989 said:

dating someone WITHOUT kissing or sleeping with them

yh i dnt think people get it, you can still date som1 without having sex or kissing them.  if you date som1 to marry them  and leave the sex/kissing for after marriage  then it is fine imo  

[Guest Jigsaw_Puzzled_Singh]

37 minutes ago, puzzled said:

 

yh i dnt think people get it, you can still date som1 without having sex or kissing them.  if you date som1 to marry them  and leave the sex/kissing for after marriage  then it is fine imo  

Can you ? I mean it'd be pretty lame dating wouldn't it. What would be the point ?  Not finding the opposite sex attractive enough to want to touch her is just one step from being a shirt-lifter in my opinion. 

OP...I really do feel your dilemma. My wife is amritdhari and it is just out of pure luck that she's one of these types that has very little hair. Pure luck. I'm a very honest man and I have to say that I don't know what I would do if she did have facial hair. It's a difficult situation for the girl and the man. Some men can accept it and some can't. Because you can't I really do believe that you must not make the mistake of reluctantly agreeing to marry a girl with said facial hair. Because you know you can't find it attractive it would be a disastrous marriage and extremely unfair to the girl. When it comes to marriage you have to choose the type of person that you find physically attractive. Together, you can work on spiritual attributes later.

[DelhiTurbanator 75]

On 5/14/2020 at 1:58 PM, Guest Gupt Guy said:

My parents are in the motion of getting me married and are looking for a suitable rishta. I’m struggling to find an amritdhari girl I’m attracted to. Facial hair is really putting me off and as bad as it sounds I find it extremely unattractive on girls. It’s hard and my parents are pressuring me now. I don’t want to forced into a marriage to a girl I don’t find attractive. 
 

 

I mentioned to one girl about bleaching or getting laser treatment but she refused and that rishta went down the pan.

 

I’m stuck at the minute as I can’t see beyond the facial hair. I don’t know what more I can do other than marry a non amritdhari. 

You won't get a bride here on this website(sorry if I sound harsh but you need a reality check)

If arranged marriage doesn't work, then go for love marriage. It is possible to date without sex. There are plenty of white/black girls that love singhs and respect turban and beard while at the same time,  you will find sikh women that are self hating pseudo feminists and despise sikhi swaroop.

Just find a woman who loves you and supports your sikhi. I know a few gursikh guys who struggled in arranged marriage rishtas and eventually went for love marriage with hindu women and are very happy in marriage. Their kids are also gursikh.

Lastly, if you're not attracted to facial hair then don't marry amritdhari women. Marry a non-sikh girl instead but please, its a humble request don't humiliate amritdhari women to go for laser treatment or kesh katal.

[puzzled 2,766]

I got a feeling this question is not genuine  lol    seems like som1 just messing around 

[Guest Nihang Singh]

On 5/14/2020 at 9:28 AM, Guest Gupt Guy said:

I mentioned to one girl about bleaching or getting laser treatment but she refused and that rishta went down the pan.

 

You are not going to get far with any girl with an attitude like that, facial hair or not. If you think that's how you can treat a girl and speak to her like that, expect to have little success with any self respecting female, unless of course you are the type that preys on insecure girls, which wouldn't surprise me.

 A scum bag like you does not deserve to marry any girl. How dare you say that to someone trying to follow gursikhi and who on earth are you to pressure any girl in any way about her body. 

[Koi 369]

OP - maybe look for a girl who is not Amritdhari. Your personal preference is your own (no judgement), but asking an Amritdhari girl to laser etc. probably not the smartest move.

With regards to the whole "facial hair" issue. I don't think a lot of girls realise that this can be controlled with diet and healthy lifestyle (I remember Sant Jagjit Singh Ji mentioning the same). Unless there is some kind of genetic disorder, this can usually be fixed with good food and supplements. See doctor if necessary. 

But yeah, non Amritdhari girls are fine (and in some cases recommended), especially for you.

Good luck bro

[puzzled 2,766]

21 hours ago, Guest Jigsaw_Puzzled_Singh said:

Can you ? I mean it'd be pretty lame dating wouldn't it. What would be the point ?  Not finding the opposite sex attractive enough to want to touch her is just one step from being a shirt-lifter in my opinion. 

Well the point would be to marry later on. I would only date som1 to marry her ,  not casual dating. Its a sin to have sex b4 marriage. Obviously being humans with feelings you would get urges to get all touchy feely etc   but you really shouldn't     all that should be for after marriage.  I'v done some silly things in the past with one of my female friends b4 i got into sikhi and i really regret it.  

you can still date without having sex, many religious people do that. I was watching a video on youtube of a christian couple who dated but left the sex till after marriage like it should be. 

[DelhiTurbanator 75]

6 hours ago, puzzled said:

Well the point would be to marry later on. I would only date som1 to marry her ,  not casual dating. Its a sin to have sex b4 marriage. Obviously being humans with feelings you would get urges to get all touchy feely etc   but you really shouldn't     all that should be for after marriage.  I'v done some silly things in the past with one of my female friends b4 i got into sikhi and i really regret it.  

you can still date without having sex, many religious people do that. I was watching a video on youtube of a christian couple who dated but left the sex till after marriage like it should be. 

You should not feel sorry for your past actions. You did those "silly" things when you were just an ordinary punjabi but now you're a sikh , a real sikh and after becoming a sikh, you didn't do anything wrong.

Dating without sex is common in India, I currently live in Maharashtra and here, one of my female marathi classmate said she has been in numerous relationships but she has never kissed anyone, sex is out of the question. And she's not even religious, she's born in a hindu family but considers herself as atheist.

Even non religious people know that pre marital sex is wrong. India is not as sexually liberated as west so that is also a contributing factor. But still, its hard to find a virgin/untouched sardarni especially in metro cities like Delhi and Mumbai. Sikh women are messed up here. Hindu/Muslim women are mostly virgins.