Marriage Concerns

[DelhiTurbanator]

On 11/6/2020 at 2:16 PM, Guest Prabh Simran Singh said:

Hello All,

You are so right Delhi Turbanator.. I am facing a lot of difficulties in finding the right one. I guess finding a pure Sikh girl is a just a myth. I was approached by someone on jeeevansathi and I don't know the reason why women get offended when asked about their past, if they had one. This is marriage we are talking about, not a freaking joke. I have been very formal in my conversation with this particular lady. I guess a hindu girl would be an ideal choice.

Just an honest guy

Prabh Simran.

Thanx for the reply veere!

I can understand your problem. Although am still in college so marriage is out of the question but to be honest, I don't think I will marry a Sikh. I know it's wrong to generalize that all Sikh women are like this but I have come across so many "kaurs" from gursikh families that had sexual relationships with hindus/muslims including in my own family that I can't see myself getting married to a kaur.

On the contrary, my female hindu classmates are so decent and don't date around. Their only fault that they are not born in sikh families is ridiculous, I would choose them as a potential life partner over a sikh woman anytime anyday.

My cousin(non amritdhari but keeps kesh) married a hindu girl and she liked sikhi so much that she adopted sikhi by choice and now regularly does nitnem and stop cutting hair, keeping fasts etc. They also have a son whom they are raising as gursikh.

Never feel disheartened, keep following sikhi and have faith in Waheguruji and most importantly NEVER compromise your beliefs for a woman(especially a spoiled westernized sikh girl) their are plenty of non sikh women who will understand you and your religion and will be good wife and good mother to your kids!

And for haters and pseudo feminists who love to silence voices of sikh men, remember sikh sangat.com is not an islamic website. Everyone has the right to speak their opinions. Am not spreading hate, I just wrote reality and life experiences with sikh families and sikh women at large. 

[GurjantGnostic]

Grass is always greener bros. You've seen your own yard. Whatever you do, do according to Gurbani which means...find a hindu girl who's ready for Amrit I guess. 

[MisterrSingh]

11 hours ago, DelhiTurbanator said:

And for haters and pseudo feminists who love to silence voices of sikh men, remember sikh sangat.com is not an islamic website. Everyone has the right to speak their opinions. Am not spreading hate, I just wrote reality and life experiences with sikh families and sikh women at large. 

Never allow these people to censor and prevent you from speaking from experience. The more they are allowed to dictate the narrative so that it is stripped of all nuance, the more our world will fail to resemble the lived reality of its people. As long as these observations come from a place of level-headed objectivity (as far as it's possible), the more people will be aware of issues that have been suppressed for too long.

[Koi]

Honestly, I've found that in some cases, Hindu girls are way more respecting, open to compromise and serious when it comes to marriage and Sikhi. A good friend of mine (who's like a younger brother to me) who is an Amritdhari Singh is currently in talks with a Hindu Panjabi girl. And from what he's told me about her, she's awesome, and this will probably go ahead. 

Whilst I agree that Anand Karaj should be between two Sikhs, it may help to be a little flexible (if at all possible), and in doing so, bring another person closer to the Guru...

[Guest guest]

good point- how will you marry a non-sikh by anand karaj?

another thing- if you are amritdhari you life should be about a higher ideal than sex.  if you can;t handle that maybe you shouldn't be khalsa sikh.

[indersingh1313]

my view, you have a problem with facial hair, and that's fine, its your choice but what if non-facial hair girl has a problem with your beard, then?

  it goes both way. so wait and continue your search until you both need to find each other attractive. 

note: parents tent to force in our culture. make them understand that there is no point marrying and getting separated if you don't like each other.

 

[MisterrSingh]

12 hours ago, Guest guest said:

good point- how will you marry a non-sikh by anand karaj?

another thing- if you are amritdhari you life should be about a higher ideal than sex.  if you can;t handle that maybe you shouldn't be khalsa sikh.

It's almost as if Gurdwareh have never ever conducted an Anand Karaj between a Sikh and a non-Sikh.

[GurjantGnostic]

12 hours ago, indersingh1313 said:

my view, you have a problem with facial hair, and that's fine, its your choice but what if non-facial hair girl has a problem with your beard, then?

  it goes both way. so wait and continue your search until you both need to find each other attractive. 

note: parents tent to force in our culture. make them understand that there is no point marrying and getting separated if you don't like each other.

 

Were I so fortunate for the Kirpa of Anand Karaj, I'd celebrate every hair on her. Anyone can shave, a Gursikh Singhni is a treasure. 

[indersingh1313]

57 minutes ago, GurjantGnostic said:

Were I so fortunate for the Kirpa of Anand Karaj, I'd celebrate every hair on her. Anyone can shave, a Gursikh Singhni is a treasure. 

I respect your thinking bro

[MisterrSingh]

8 hours ago, Guest guest said:

they don't allow it anymore under SGPC.  i know people who have been turned around for wanting to marry non-sikhs.

or is there a separate rule for males with beards?  double standard?

No, it's all those Sikh females sneaking into Gurdwareh during lockdown to marry white guys and Muslims that seem to be letting the side down. I guess in your reality that's acceptable.