Advise me plz

[Guest Manvir kaur]

Satsriakal 

I am of 29, married since 2013 having daughter of 5 years.there were many conflicts or ups and downs in my marriage. I had fights. I regret in front of my husband, convinced him repeatedly to run this marriage and for the sake of it I had to bear oaths or so to get his confidence so that he could trust me and could not give divorce. It doesn't mean that I deceived after having his confidence back. Things didn't get totally normal at all rather I am living in the fear that he may leave me anytime and in any way. Now at present he shows his rigidness and says i would not tolerate you (me) I apologised always whether I was at fault or not. He now abuses, threatens as well just for the sake of getting separate. I totally bow down in front of him but couldn't help showing my anger in all this but not always just 3 times out of ten. Mostly I tolerate says him that I ll tolerate but he doesn't bother now. He is insisted on to have divorce. I have been living in this fear since after getting married that he may not leave me. I always prayed baba ji waheguru ji for this. Told him that my internal feelings won't die for him even after getting separate but he doesn't listen. It was love n intercaste marriage marriage. I do path japji sahib, shabad hzare, ardas. I believe in god but in this situation I get sometimes tired and feels that waheguru is punishing me for something. I convince my husband a lot. I love him a lot but he is very egoistic even though he does nitnem daily but scolds me badly and is only after divorce. Sometimes I fear that he might have another relationship with someone as he dose not share anything with me, tries to hide his chats and everything while doing on phone. Don't know what to do. There are not any second marriage plans in my mind at all i told him this too but of no use. I can't even leave my daughter behind if this happenes. MyParents told me to leave her with my in laws and with husband. I am not financially sound enough to take care of her but feels helpless in this situation. He is not even bothering of taking my daughter from him. I am very upset where should I keep my daughter if it happens? They are well sound to take care of her. But this thought makes me feel culprit. My inner consciousness doesn't suggest me leaving my daughter with his dad. I still keep requesting him not to take divorce but he is rigid. He knows my weak financial position my weak will power n all thus takes advantage of these. I still pray waheguru to bring him back to me and to happy married life but he doesn't understand this. Please suggest me something and advise me what should I do? I am getting double minded and unable to take any decision. 

 

[Sat1]

On 6/11/2020 at 7:54 PM, Guest Manvir kaur said:

Satsriakal 

I am of 29, married since 2013 having daughter of 5 years.there were many conflicts or ups and downs in my marriage. I had fights. I regret in front of my husband, convinced him repeatedly to run this marriage and for the sake of it I had to bear oaths or so to get his confidence so that he could trust me and could not give divorce. It doesn't mean that I deceived after having his confidence back. Things didn't get totally normal at all rather I am living in the fear that he may leave me anytime and in any way. Now at present he shows his rigidness and says i would not tolerate you (me) I apologised always whether I was at fault or not. He now abuses, threatens as well just for the sake of getting separate. I totally bow down in front of him but couldn't help showing my anger in all this but not always just 3 times out of ten. Mostly I tolerate says him that I ll tolerate but he doesn't bother now. He is insisted on to have divorce. I have been living in this fear since after getting married that he may not leave me. I always prayed baba ji waheguru ji for this. Told him that my internal feelings won't die for him even after getting separate but he doesn't listen. It was love n intercaste marriage marriage. I do path japji sahib, shabad hzare, ardas. I believe in god but in this situation I get sometimes tired and feels that waheguru is punishing me for something. I convince my husband a lot. I love him a lot but he is very egoistic even though he does nitnem daily but scolds me badly and is only after divorce. Sometimes I fear that he might have another relationship with someone as he dose not share anything with me, tries to hide his chats and everything while doing on phone. Don't know what to do. There are not any second marriage plans in my mind at all i told him this too but of no use. I can't even leave my daughter behind if this happenes. MyParents told me to leave her with my in laws and with husband. I am not financially sound enough to take care of her but feels helpless in this situation. He is not even bothering of taking my daughter from him. I am very upset where should I keep my daughter if it happens? They are well sound to take care of her. But this thought makes me feel culprit. My inner consciousness doesn't suggest me leaving my daughter with his dad. I still keep requesting him not to take divorce but he is rigid. He knows my weak financial position my weak will power n all thus takes advantage of these. I still pray waheguru to bring him back to me and to happy married life but he doesn't understand this. Please suggest me something and advise me what should I do? I am getting double minded and unable to take any decision. 

 

You need to speak to a therapist. If you are in the UK, there is a free service called the IAPT service, try that. Or google organizations that help women in trouble or deal with domestic disputes. Seek out support, maybe citizens advice bureau.

[GurjantGnostic]

20 minutes ago, Sat1 said:

You need to speak to a therapist. If you are in the UK, there is a free service called the IAPT service, try that. Or google organizations that help women in trouble or deal with domestic disputes. Seek out support, maybe citizens advice bureau.

What's a therapist going to do?

[Guruguruji]

Remember you are an amazing person and if u want to attract ur husband u need to show confidence in yourself and know that you are worth the respect and care u deserve- this does not mean be high in ego -You have to be very careful. 

Remember u do not need to beg or chase him because that will show him that he is higher than u and that u r need. You need to be happy in yourself, pretend to be happy and calm around him. If you notice him do something nice, make sure u show its made u happy- appreciate the little things. Don't react to his rude behavior or show that u are worried by it because when u will do this he will realize that he isn't as powerful as he thought he was. Research law of attraction and how positivity works. Do not talk about divorce if u don't want it.

please please please do sukhmani sahib and an ardas at AMRITVELA. Divorce etc is all because of the influence of kalyug. If you begin your day by sukhmani sahib at amritvela before anyone else wakes up u have allowed positive vibes in ur house, kalyug won't be as powerful. You need to trust the power of gurbani and you must think positive when u do paath. Paath is an energy, whatever thoughts u have whilst doing paath they are energised and made powerful so please be brave be strong be positive.

May waheguru ji bless your family with unity and love.

[GurjantGnostic]

On 6/11/2020 at 11:54 AM, Guest Manvir kaur said:

Satsriakal 

I am of 29, married since 2013 having daughter of 5 years.there were many conflicts or ups and downs in my marriage. I had fights. I regret in front of my husband, convinced him repeatedly to run this marriage and for the sake of it I had to bear oaths or so to get his confidence so that he could trust me and could not give divorce. It doesn't mean that I deceived after having his confidence back. Things didn't get totally normal at all rather I am living in the fear that he may leave me anytime and in any way. Now at present he shows his rigidness and says i would not tolerate you (me) I apologised always whether I was at fault or not. He now abuses, threatens as well just for the sake of getting separate. I totally bow down in front of him but couldn't help showing my anger in all this but not always just 3 times out of ten. Mostly I tolerate says him that I ll tolerate but he doesn't bother now. He is insisted on to have divorce. I have been living in this fear since after getting married that he may not leave me. I always prayed baba ji waheguru ji for this. Told him that my internal feelings won't die for him even after getting separate but he doesn't listen. It was love n intercaste marriage marriage. I do path japji sahib, shabad hzare, ardas. I believe in god but in this situation I get sometimes tired and feels that waheguru is punishing me for something. I convince my husband a lot. I love him a lot but he is very egoistic even though he does nitnem daily but scolds me badly and is only after divorce. Sometimes I fear that he might have another relationship with someone as he dose not share anything with me, tries to hide his chats and everything while doing on phone. Don't know what to do. There are not any second marriage plans in my mind at all i told him this too but of no use. I can't even leave my daughter behind if this happenes. MyParents told me to leave her with my in laws and with husband. I am not financially sound enough to take care of her but feels helpless in this situation. He is not even bothering of taking my daughter from him. I am very upset where should I keep my daughter if it happens? They are well sound to take care of her. But this thought makes me feel culprit. My inner consciousness doesn't suggest me leaving my daughter with his dad. I still keep requesting him not to take divorce but he is rigid. He knows my weak financial position my weak will power n all thus takes advantage of these. I still pray waheguru to bring him back to me and to happy married life but he doesn't understand this. Please suggest me something and advise me what should I do? I am getting double minded and unable to take any decision. 

 

Jaap Naam. 

Accept the perfection of Vaheguru and Hukam. 

Get at least part time work while your daughter is in school. 

Train in a martial art that suits you. 

Stay chardikala bhenji.