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Guest Baksho

Kaam caused issue at work place

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Guest Baksho

Hi sangatji

I am around 29 , I have been facing this issue for a long time. I really have been trying to cope up with Kaam, whenever I indulge in masturbation or any adultry it effects my work, like I could be scolded by my supervisor, or maybe something wrong happens at the office like failure .

I work as a customer support, so when I do that,I do get cranky customers, escalated cases, scolding customers and everything goes bad .

I try to do ardass whenever I get indulge and try to avoid it in first place, but sometimes even when I am not indulging, like for example, a scene comes in a movie that might be explicit,  even I m not intended to do kaam like masturbating, it kind of effect my work next day.

I m not sure what do to. I try to keep kaam at Bay as much as I can, and pray to guru sahib.

As a result my job is being affected, I even might get terminated. Not sure what to do apart from doing ardass, can anyone guide.

Regards

Benti karta

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Get married if that is a possibility? your emotions seem all over the place, marriage/relationship will balance it out. Kaam and living a married/grist jeevan is a normal part of life. 

When your young and should be married but are not then i think your emotions/kaam can get all over the place. 

Kaam naturally comes to you so don't kick yourself for it, its natural that's just the way it is.When kaam gets strong you sometimes can fight it while sometimes you cant and you give in, but if it is interfering with your job then it obviously is a bit of a problem, try doing Waheguru naam simran everyday   it will build you spiritually  when your at work just repeat Waheguru in your head.

 

 

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Guest Guest baksho

Thanks for the detailed explanation.

I had a same feeling like to get married. , I have never been in any relationship, never touched a female, with guru sahib grace have never done any bahar kurehat.

The main problem is I have been getting lot of rejection from females while searching for a bride, this has also made my moral down.

I have been struggling with this quite a time, will try to follow simran at most during at work,

But still getting married is also not easy, when you are 29 ,people have really high expectations, and now when I m at the stage of loosing my job, I m scared that I might not even be able to find a bride for myself.

Lot of things going in my life due to kaam, but really difficult to find to solution.

 

Sometimes I really think like I should go the wrong way and finish my desires for once and all, but I can see like even while thinking it has made my life worse , how difficult life would be for me if I do a bajar kurehat.

 

So still going through lot of struggle 

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On 6/16/2020 at 5:50 AM, Guest Baksho said:

Hi sangatji

I am around 29 , I have been facing this issue for a long time. I really have been trying to cope up with Kaam, whenever I indulge in masturbation or any adultry it effects my work, like I could be scolded by my supervisor, or maybe something wrong happens at the office like failure .

I work as a customer support, so when I do that,I do get cranky customers, escalated cases, scolding customers and everything goes bad .

I try to do ardass whenever I get indulge and try to avoid it in first place, but sometimes even when I am not indulging, like for example, a scene comes in a movie that might be explicit,  even I m not intended to do kaam like masturbating, it kind of effect my work next day.

I m not sure what do to. I try to keep kaam at Bay as much as I can, and pray to guru sahib.

As a result my job is being affected, I even might get terminated. Not sure what to do apart from doing ardass, can anyone guide.

Regards

Benti karta

If it seems like direct feedback that's potent and good even if it seems like you endure consequences. That's powerful bro. 

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11 hours ago, Guest Guest baksho said:

Thanks for the detailed explanation.

I had a same feeling like to get married. , I have never been in any relationship, never touched a female, with guru sahib grace have never done any bahar kurehat.

The main problem is I have been getting lot of rejection from females while searching for a bride, this has also made my moral down.

I have been struggling with this quite a time, will try to follow simran at most during at work,

But still getting married is also not easy, when you are 29 ,people have really high expectations, and now when I m at the stage of loosing my job, I m scared that I might not even be able to find a bride for myself.

Lot of things going in my life due to kaam, but really difficult to find to solution.

 

Sometimes I really think like I should go the wrong way and finish my desires for once and all, but I can see like even while thinking it has made my life worse , how difficult life would be for me if I do a bajar kurehat.

 

So still going through lot of struggle 

Stay chardikala bro and strong in your rehit. 

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Guest Young singh

Does anyone know you have a problem with kaam? Or is it a secret?

I had the problem as a young boy, it was bad and affecting my school work. My parents walked into my room and saw me doing it. My dad went so mad he's never got that angry. After he calmed down he helped guide  me away from kaam. It took months to stop but I could never have done it without someone helping me.

Seriously you need to be brave and tell someone. Because right now when you do it there is no one to tell you off it's just your guilty secret destroying your life. Kaam isn't a joke, it can make you seriously ill and it takes you to hell after you die

Be strong bro you can do it.

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21 hours ago, Guest Guest baksho said:

Sometimes I really think like I should go the wrong way and finish my desires for once and all, but I can see like even while thinking it has made my life worse , how difficult life would be for me if I do a bajar kurehat.

If by going the wrong way you mean having s3x then no, don't do that! Its against Gurus hukkam,  you should consider yourself blessed by Guru sahib that in todays day and age you have obeyed and remained loyal to Guru Sahib and not had physical relationships b4 marriage.

If you have s3x once, you're only gnna end up wanting to do it again and then again and then again. 

Don't worry about marriage, you are Punjabi so you will get married one day lol

And don't be disappointed about getting rejected, there are people out there have been looking for the right rishta for 5 years!  rishta and matches take time in todays day and age. Everyone struggles these days.  Just keep looking! and you will find the right one ...

And don't kick yourself for having kaam, its normal and everyone has kaam. You have days where you defeat it and other days where you don't, its normal. You obey Guru Sahibs hukkam while there are plenty of "religious" guys out there dressed all blue and holy yet they commit every sin behind closed doors, they have no fear in god. 

As for naam simran. it is so important that you can say a mans purpose in life is to do naam! naam is above all relations and friends. Without naam one is useless. Bro, do as much naam simran as you can and wherever/whenever you can  and your life will change. Wake up in the morning and say Waheguru,  when showering do simran, getting ready for work do simran  make it part of your daily life and you will get all the happiness. Before going to sleep do Simran.   Without the remembrance of Waheguru we are useless and our life becomes without purpose. 

Don't worry about marriage etc  it will all happen one day    focus on Waheguru as much as you can, the more you remember Waheguru the more it will become a habit.

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I heard a story at the gurdwara about a girl who was wearing a sarbloh kara and sitting at the gurdwara, the granthi came over to her and told her that her sarbloh kara has become really rusty and needs to be scrubbed clean. The girl replied to the granthi that she has so much mehl/dirt in her mind that what is the point of her cleaning her kara when her mind is so impure!   the granthi told her do waheguru simran as much as she can, do it whenever and wherever she can do simran. Girl went away and did as the granthi told her. Few months later granthi saw the same girl again and she told him that all the filth in her mind has gone and she feels so clean and pure and so close to her Guru, she said she was surprised herself how naam has cleaned in her mind. 

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Guest Guest Baksho

Thank you sangat ji, for all your suggestions and ardass to remain in chardikala

I never thought of getting such a detailed explanation from all of you ,I m really blessed to be a part of such a good sangat .

I will try my best to follow all of the suggestions as much as I can , 

Thanks again sangat ji for all your suggestions and blessings.🙏😇

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Guest Young Singh
On 6/19/2020 at 8:31 PM, Guest Guest Baksho said:

Thank you sangat ji, for all your suggestions and ardass to remain in chardikala

I never thought of getting such a detailed explanation from all of you ,I m really blessed to be a part of such a good sangat .

I will try my best to follow all of the suggestions as much as I can , 

Thanks again sangat ji for all your suggestions and blessings.🙏😇

Here’s an idea. You can keep a photo a mahapurkh you respect on ur phone. If you want to do kaam u have to put the photo in front of yourself. That’s the rule u aren’t allowed to break. Force yourself that if you gonna do kaam u will do it while looking into they eyes of sant Jarnail singh ji. You can’t break the rule u gotta keep the photo there. You’ll beat kaam easy bro

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When doing simran you get Kaami thoughts coming, I even get violent thoughts! Lol!   but that is normal, if you think about it you are washing away 1000s of years of mehl/filth away, and you come into this world and only end up filling your mind with more mehl. You don't only wash away sins of this life only but all the sins of your previous life, so it's quite normal for many people to have all sorts of random things come into your head. When these things start appearing just continue doing simran and try and focus on waheguru. 

Some people might interpretate these thoughts as temptation. But the sikh perspective is they are all the filth in you mind you are washing away. 

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3 hours ago, puzzled said:

When doing simran you get Kaami thoughts coming, I even get violent thoughts! Lol!   but that is normal, if you think about it you are washing away 1000s of years of mehl/filth away, and you come into this world and only end up filling your mind with more mehl. You don't only wash away sins of this life only but all the sins of your previous life, so it's quite normal for many people to have all sorts of random things come into your head. When these things start appearing just continue doing simran and try and focus on waheguru. 

Some people might interpretate these thoughts as temptation. But the sikh perspective is they are all the filth in you mind you are washing away. 

I like it.

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Some excellent replies. Can I also contribute a scientific point of view?

If kaam becomes a problem it's because too much energy is flowing into muladhara chakar. Where your energy goes it will manifest. The solution is to stop feeding the fire. 

Gur-shabad is powerful, it naturally takes your energy very high. So do mool mantar at least a few hours each day, listen to kirtan & katha do path & simran.

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Guest Baksho

Seeing so much love and support from sangat

I m really looking forward to taking all the suggestions and applying them by heart in my daily life

The thought of applying Want ji's pic on phone was great 

And deep explanation of muladhara chakra

Can some one suggest some tips in addition to gurbani and mool mantar jaap that can help to keep wasting my energy.

I really thank everyone for showing so much love and sharing your valuable feedback

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7 hours ago, Guest Baksho said:

Can some one suggest some tips in addition to gurbani and mool mantar jaap that can help to keep wasting my energy.

Exercise is good, especially cardio like running 🏃‍♂️

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