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I just give up.


Guruguruji
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On the bases of two posts above instead of trying to save your marriage or thinking of future or praying to god to come and help you out. Put all this energy is understanding anger and controlling it. Anger is child of EGO. Stop expecting praises from everyone around and focus on doings things you like.

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To the Original Poster

Did you leave your husband or did he leave you?  Do you have kids?

If you have kids then you must make contact with him and communicate with each other without the influence of others.  You must compromise and be accountable for your own mistakes - your husband must also display accountability and compromise.

Im sure with some initiative from you both you can make things work, you need to put your family aside and he must put his family aside and concentrate on your marriage and children alone.  That is the only unit you need to keep happy.

All the best

Mann

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On 6/21/2020 at 10:23 PM, GurjantGnostic said:

Perfect is the teacher Bhenji. You're just learning hard lessons. It's okay. 

The kind of death you want is the death of your ego, that's suffering. That's okay be jeevan with life.

You've done ardas, the peace comes from accepting Hukam.

The peace comes from Naam Simran and going about your day, cleaning, eating, walking, but always surrendering yourself to Vaheguru. There is nothing to do, but accept. 

Good post

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14 hours ago, Guruguruji said:

I get angry with my family and we exchange harsh words. I then feel guilty and I promise myself not to fall in the same trap...but I do, I don't know why I get involved in any arguments and ruin the day for everyone. I just feel like I dig a deeper hole for myself. A horrible memory for people to look back to after this phase in life passes.

I feel angry with guru ji, a supreme power who controls everything and can do anything but is just ignoring me. I always tell myself thats it, waheguru ji knows what my ardas is, I need to relax now but then every time I even look at a photo of guru sahib my heart bleeds n begs. 

My husband has dumped me and has forgotten about me as if I never existed, I've ruined relationships with my family by making them sad, I have no sense of me anymore, I don't want to go out and see people, I'm not allowed to move away.

 

Bhenji All I want to say is that why are ninding at Waheguru. I will just leave this Gurbani Quote for you.

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15 hours ago, Guruguruji said:

I get angry with my family and we exchange harsh words. I then feel guilty and I promise myself not to fall in the same trap...but I do, I don't know why I get involved in any arguments and ruin the day for everyone. I just feel like I dig a deeper hole for myself. A horrible memory for people to look back to after this phase in life passes.

I feel angry with guru ji, a supreme power who controls everything and can do anything but is just ignoring me. I always tell myself thats it, waheguru ji knows what my ardas is, I need to relax now but then every time I even look at a photo of guru sahib my heart bleeds n begs. 

My husband has dumped me and has forgotten about me as if I never existed, I've ruined relationships with my family by making them sad, I have no sense of me anymore, I don't want to go out and see people, I'm not allowed to move away.

 

The strong usually prey on the weak in life. This truth will manifest in many areas of your life.

Wanting things to go a certain way does not get you any where. What you lack is strength. This you need to ask for from Guruji. Don't expect things to turn out in your favor. Life doesn't work like that.

This strength is what will help you get through this and many other obstacles you may face in life.

Since we don't know enough about your life bhenji, most people will give generic advice. Try to see what you need to do to win over your in-laws or husband. Some concrete steps you can take. If they have ill-intentions and don't want you, then you need to be courageous enough to get your parents help to resolve this. If they have no intention to ever resolve this, then you know what step you need to take. Move on in life.

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Sat Sri Akal Ji,

I love to listen some inspirational videos when I feel down . Please check Bhai Raghbir Singh Bir audio on YouTube i.e Ardas de Shakti, Bandgi Nama 

Also Bhai Veer Singh audios on YouTube. I am inspired by some real people experiences on bachitternet YouTube channel .

Hope that will work for you .I have just friendly advice for you if your husband is not giving you the respect ,you deserve than please move on.

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Guest Acceptinghiswill

I think when ppl say move on , its easier said than done. 

Marriages forms a relationship you expect to uphold for the whole of ur life and eventually becoming one. 

So when ppl hav problems and seperate it can be devastating. Its sad as one person is dedicated and the other has abandoned her. 

Its really tough and hard to draw a line and start afresh. Its a long process as you process whats going on. 

Gurbani gives us strength and understanding.

Really sad to see ppl split. 

Its really hard to get over this. Family often overlook the emotional side and just want to push the person into another marriage. This can create more issues of become a confusing situation. You need to really find urself and go on a journey of truley understanding that everything comes to an end, so whats really important on ur journey through life?

I pray for your chardikala and may Maharaj bless everyone going these difficult circumstances.

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It's quite unfortunate that some of the bibiya in our quom don't end up with the husband their shardaa deserves, and which leads to them questioning everything they hold to be true.

I'm not a feminist or an appeaser of women, but I don't need to be any of these things to see with my own eyes that in some cases good, decent Sikh females end up with men who are lesser in soul and spiritual stature, which causes the individual spirit of these women to be grinded away just by being in close proximity to these types of exhausting men.

Whatever the great, spiritual overarching reason for these occurrences, it doesn't make life any easier for the women involved. Believe it or not there are some Sikh males who end up experiencing the exact same issues. No, not me! This isn't a cry for help. ?

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