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Fellow Parents advice/guidance No children please


Guest Mrs N
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Guest Don’t worry about me
On 8/11/2020 at 2:49 PM, Guest Mrs N said:

Waheguru ji ka khalsa Wahguru ji ki fateh sangat ji

Please note this topic is not for children or young adults. I am hoping for some guidance/advice from fellow parents.

Our eldest daughter recently got married and thankfully me and my daughters have always had quite a close bond. We tend have regular girl talk and always share any difficulties we may face.

So as I was saying our eldest recently got married - she asked me a question that was quite sensitive - regarding the intimacy between her and her husband. Basically, my daughter asked me whether certain sexual practices between husband and wife were forbidden in Sikhi? I told her fair and square that I honestly did not know. I said all I do know is according to our maryada husband and wife should never be unfaithful outside of marriage and the relationship between husband and wife should be respectful and honest. I explained how we should try to refrain from too much Kaam as it wouldn't be good for our jeevan. A Gursikh couple should try to aim to better each other towards Gurbani and maryada. But my daughter said that they try to read as much Baani as possible and refrain from the 4 kurets but they wanted to explore intimacy as a couple at different levels.  Embarrassed as my daughter felt when I asked her to explain what exact practices did she mean?  She did tell me but I don't feel it would be suitable for me to mention them here (young Sangat)... My daughter explained that she and her husband like to keep things alive intimately to avoid things from becoming repetitive, boring and mundane (much like our generation! haha) but were still worried if they do not want to break their maryada... We had a bit of a chuckle as I did say that our generation regarding marriage and intimacy was very different and now the world is much more modern I can only imagine relationships and couples have evolved too. So benti to fellow mums/parents could you advice me what the answer to this question is? Seeing as children nowadays tend to experiment a lot more intimately in a marriage what is the maryada? Are there any intimate practices Gursikh couples are to refrain from or is all fine between couples?

I do apologise for talking about this subject so openly but I really am stuck as I find it difficult to ask friends or other family members for advice...Thank you all.

Waheguru ji ka Khalsa Waheguru ji ki fateh ji

Don’t worry ? too much about me, I am only a minor! But I know everything about everything in this so called ‘modden’ world of ours. This modden world that we live in is a mad mad world - full of dreck! You as a mother - having girl talks - is not your role to play as a ‘parent’, leave this bit of play-acting out for her contemporaries, lest you risk of being labelled as “Madam’ I am sure you know what that refers to!  Be a responsible parent, guide her into becoming a caring responsible person and not some p*********ic  bit-player! Whatever it is that she and her husband want to explore should be kept under the bed sheets, don’t you know?  it should be discussed between her and her husband and no one else - or between them and their sex therapist!  You really must be very ********* jc *****x to encourage this kind of conversation with your own daughter, but it doesn’t surprise me at all!

It’s expected from pendus who suddenly wake up one morning and find themselves in diaspora!  They sometimes really have to pinch themselves to see if it’s real. They fail to ask themselves, would they  be behaving, thinking or living their lives like this, had they never left their pends? They forget their past life at a drop of a button! What I meant to say was at a ‘drop of a hat’ but I know you guys never wore hats back in the pends where you originate from!  I think, in your case it must be said ‘ a chunni’. I can’t imagine you lot ever having a yen for Sikhi! 
 

Having close bond with your children doesn’t mean having open discussions about their sex lives after they are married. How vulgar and unsophisticated is that? Did you ever think how her husband would be so embarrassed if he  found out that you are well informed and up to date with everything he does with your daughter in bed as a husband and wife? How embarrassing is that for a son in law when he comes over for Sunday dinner and you asking them both - how did you get on with your latest sex position/level of practice/experimenting/exploration in bed? How far did you both go? You people are honestly the worst kind of people god ever created by mistake, a blunder! You are pure DECADENCE! The decline, the DOWNFALL of Guru Khalsa Panth! Dross of the Earth. 

Next you people be asking if it’s okay to give a copy of The Kama Sutra to their children in their dowries. Next she will be asking you if it’s okay with the Sikh mariyadah to practice a foursome, a group, a whole street or even the whole community (orgies), gender neutral, cross dressers, drags, transgenders,  bisexuals or even asexual or homosexual as a married couple! Please sew that button back on that fell off!

Sex is only to be practiced for procreations purposes for a Sikh jeevan. It is not to be used to satisfy one’s lusty desires! If it is used for the second reason, then it’s not only kaam  but also a paap. Since when did the institution of Sikh marriage become a porn industry? Marriage is for procreation purposes only, to help bring souls into a human birth for their spiritual evolution, for their development. It seems to me that your daughter is still lurking around at a very dross level of her spiritual evolution. She and millions like her are the degenerates of the Sikh panth. Perverse sexual behaviour has nothing to do with ‘modden’ times,  it has always been there since time immemorial. But when a soul is born in a Sikh household as a Sikh, this is their only chance to wash their dross away   to progress further. But you won’t know this, would you?

She is suppose to keep her marriage alive by keeping the Sikhi mariyada alive of naam simran, reciting banies, leading moral life - always speaking truth, not gossiping, back stabbing, refraining from eerkha, showing compassion to those less fortunate, not deceiving others, helping those that need help, forgiving and forgetting, humility, and many more! 

If you define sexual experimentation/exploration/‘modden’ as ‘evolved’, then all I can say to you is that you are as bad as your daughter in terms of your mental age/evolution. So childish and immature. You need to grow up and be more mature than her, simply because she is your daughter and you her mother and not the other way around!  

How can a parent dirty talk with her daughter is beyond me. 

 

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Guest jigsaw_puzzled-singh
2 hours ago, Guest Don’t worry about me said:

Don’t worry ? too much about me, I am only a minor! But I know everything about everything in this so called ‘modden’ world of ours. This modden world that we live in is a mad mad world - full of dreck! You as a mother - having girl talks - is not your role to play as a ‘parent’, leave this bit of play-acting out for her contemporaries, lest you risk of being labelled as “Madam’ I am sure you know what that refers to!  Be a responsible parent, guide her into becoming a caring responsible person and not some p*********ic  bit-player! Whatever it is that she and her husband want to explore should be kept under the bed sheets, don’t you know?  it should be discussed between her and her husband and no one else - or between them and their sex therapist!  You really must be very ********* jc *****x to encourage this kind of conversation with your own daughter, but it doesn’t surprise me at all!

It’s expected from pendus who suddenly wake up one morning and find themselves in diaspora!  They sometimes really have to pinch themselves to see if it’s real. They fail to ask themselves, would they  be behaving, thinking or living their lives like this, had they never left their pends? They forget their past life at a drop of a button! What I meant to say was at a ‘drop of a hat’ but I know you guys never wore hats back in the pends where you originate from!  I think, in your case it must be said ‘ a chunni’. I can’t imagine you lot ever having a yen for Sikhi! 
 

Having close bond with your children doesn’t mean having open discussions about their sex lives after they are married. How vulgar and unsophisticated is that? Did you ever think how her husband would be so embarrassed if he  found out that you are well informed and up to date with everything he does with your daughter in bed as a husband and wife? How embarrassing is that for a son in law when he comes over for Sunday dinner and you asking them both - how did you get on with your latest sex position/level of practice/experimenting/exploration in bed? How far did you both go? You people are honestly the worst kind of people god ever created by mistake, a blunder! You are pure DECADENCE! The decline, the DOWNFALL of Guru Khalsa Panth! Dross of the Earth. 

Next you people be asking if it’s okay to give a copy of The Kama Sutra to their children in their dowries. Next she will be asking you if it’s okay with the Sikh mariyadah to practice a foursome, a group, a whole street or even the whole community (orgies), gender neutral, cross dressers, drags, transgenders,  bisexuals or even asexual or homosexual as a married couple! Please sew that button back on that fell off!

Sex is only to be practiced for procreations purposes for a Sikh jeevan. It is not to be used to satisfy one’s lusty desires! If it is used for the second reason, then it’s not only kaam  but also a paap. Since when did the institution of Sikh marriage become a porn industry? Marriage is for procreation purposes only, to help bring souls into a human birth for their spiritual evolution, for their development. It seems to me that your daughter is still lurking around at a very dross level of her spiritual evolution. She and millions like her are the degenerates of the Sikh panth. Perverse sexual behaviour has nothing to do with ‘modden’ times,  it has always been there since time immemorial. But when a soul is born in a Sikh household as a Sikh, this is their only chance to wash their dross away   to progress further. But you won’t know this, would you?

She is suppose to keep her marriage alive by keeping the Sikhi mariyada alive of naam simran, reciting banies, leading moral life - always speaking truth, not gossiping, back stabbing, refraining from eerkha, showing compassion to those less fortunate, not deceiving others, helping those that need help, forgiving and forgetting, humility, and many more! 

If you define sexual experimentation/exploration/‘modden’ as ‘evolved’, then all I can say to you is that you are as bad as your daughter in terms of your mental age/evolution. So childish and immature. You need to grow up and be more mature than her, simply because she is your daughter and you her mother and not the other way around!  

How can a parent dirty talk with her daughter is beyond me. 

 

Bravo. Well played original poster. Well played. Now ^ that is why you started this thread in the first place..........because you wanted to have an imaginary conversation with yourself in which you could get to say that ^. Kudos to the way you've been playing games with the constant advice threads. Very impressive. Me thinks however that the game is now soon coming to an end. Perhaps not though, I mean there's 2 or 3 regulars on the advice threads on this forum to whom you could literally state in big bold capital letters that you've just made up a problem and they'd still go ahead and offer advice. ?

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On 9/1/2020 at 8:24 PM, MisterrSingh said:

I'll be frank because there's no point in sugar coating it. Your obtuseness is infuriating.

Your son-in-law most likely wishes to recreate, with your daughter, various pornographic scenes he's witnessed and jacked-off to over the years. Reading between the lines, it will be a demeaning and uncomfortable experience for your daughter, but not wishing to upset her husband she will go ahead with his requests. 

Your son-in-law is a clown. He's a victim of the Jewish pornographers who've preyed upon humanity with this degeneracy that is partly responsible for the problems facing the world.

The couple are Gursikh? Frig me. Bare kaljug. He needs his head stamped on, then ask him if he wants to cosplay as Ben Dover. 

Honestly, you and your wild imagination! Why would a decent husband have any designs to recreate anything so despicable and disgusting as that with his newly wed wife? Surely he must have some regard for her, seeing that he is only just married her? You just have to blame the mother who is such an a**h*** for discussing this with her daughter. No decent mother would ever do this, by this I mean any mother but  P****b* I think the mother is the instigator in all this. She has probably discovered an easiest way to make a quick buck!! It must have been her idea to start with. She probably couldn’t find anyone else to help her so she decided to involve the daughter, the daughter felt bad so asked her what’s allowed in the Sikh maryada. They already have a male counterpart, a gullible Gursikh guy who must have led a very sheltered life -  her son in law! Her son in law might be a very decent guy for all you know, so don’t be too quick to judge him. He has fallen prey to their schemes and manipulative actions and is a victim of their cunning plan to get him roped in. It must be the OP and her daughter’s idea to make a quick killing, without any doubt.They are not Sikhs, but sick!  If he is not a decent, gullible gursikh from a sheltered family background then he must be one of those sickoes that hang around with other people’s mothers - and there are plenty of those on this forum!  They openly admit hanging around with someone’s mother!! They have no shame whatsoever, they break-up families and cause upheavals for their offsprings. They do this because they can’t find anyone of their own age group to date or marry due to some mental or physical deformity! Not marriage material, I guess. They’re  probably very unsightly to even glance at or stare at! They most probably suffer from bad breath or B.O!  Otherwise, why would they hang around with older women, old enough to be their mothers!!

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On 8/11/2020 at 2:49 PM, Guest Mrs N said:

Waheguru ji ka khalsa Wahguru ji ki fateh sangat ji

Please note this topic is not for children or young adults. I am hoping for some guidance/advice from fellow parents.

Our eldest daughter recently got married and thankfully me and my daughters have always had quite a close bond. We tend have regular girl talk and always share any difficulties we may face.

So as I was saying our eldest recently got married - she asked me a question that was quite sensitive - regarding the intimacy between her and her husband. Basically, my daughter asked me whether certain sexual practices between husband and wife were forbidden in Sikhi? I told her fair and square that I honestly did not know. I said all I do know is according to our maryada husband and wife should never be unfaithful outside of marriage and the relationship between husband and wife should be respectful and honest. I explained how we should try to refrain from too much Kaam as it wouldn't be good for our jeevan. A Gursikh couple should try to aim to better each other towards Gurbani and maryada. But my daughter said that they try to read as much Baani as possible and refrain from the 4 kurets but they wanted to explore intimacy as a couple at different levels.  Embarrassed as my daughter felt when I asked her to explain what exact practices did she mean?  She did tell me but I don't feel it would be suitable for me to mention them here (young Sangat)... My daughter explained that she and her husband like to keep things alive intimately to avoid things from becoming repetitive, boring and mundane (much like our generation! haha) but were still worried if they do not want to break their maryada... We had a bit of a chuckle as I did say that our generation regarding marriage and intimacy was very different and now the world is much more modern I can only imagine relationships and couples have evolved too. So benti to fellow mums/parents could you advice me what the answer to this question is? Seeing as children nowadays tend to experiment a lot more intimately in a marriage what is the maryada? Are there any intimate practices Gursikh couples are to refrain from or is all fine between couples?

I do apologise for talking about this subject so openly but I really am stuck as I find it difficult to ask friends or other family members for advice...Thank you all.

Waheguru ji ka Khalsa Waheguru ji ki fateh ji

This is why it’s important to marry someone you Love deeply. Because with that Love, the lust isn’t important and is overridden. Lust is an illusion. Love is the reality. There is no sex, only making Love. 

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Guest So UNTRUE
12 hours ago, Sat1 said:

This is why it’s important to marry someone you Love deeply. Because with that Love, the lust isn’t important and is overridden. Lust is an illusion. Love is the reality. There is no sex, only making Love. 

As if you would know about love! You are the most shocking poster on this thread for mention love! 

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3 hours ago, jkvlondon said:

none of our oldies married because of love and yet they managed to develop it , raise families etc  to much emphasis is placed on 'love' when people do not understand what that actually is , they think it is something they've read or seen in books and films , it is not lust or the kind of mental idiocy that smacks of codependency. Love is the unconditional acceptance of the other person, nothing more or less, and that is closer to the ideal that Guru Sahiban placed in front of us rather than the romantic fantasies bandied about

Na .....NOT TRUE. The women had to suffer tremendously at the hands of the wicked mother in law and company! She had to suffer tremendous abuse not only from any unmarried younger sisters the so called ‘husband’ has/had but also from any younger bros! Even if the husband fished out regular beatings on her due to his alcohol problems, cheating with other women or simply because she was not the right cow he married, her parents will never take her back or sort the evil in-laws out or make it a olive case due to family honor!! THESE MARRIAGES WERE/ARE ALL LOVELESS! They are nothing but a business where the product to be sold is a woman, a daughter.  Honestly, you have to stop LYING.

 

You talk about “unconditional love” as though you are an expert on this! Perhaps you have written some thesis or even little pamphlet on it of which we are not aware of! Would like to inform us how we can obtain your works of great insight into this so called “unconditional love” that you seem to know so much about? 
 

There is NOTHING “UNCONDITIONAL” in punjabi, hindu punjabi, Sikh punjabi or any Sikh marriages at all, for it is leached through with “CONDITIONS”” right from the very start when the marriage brokers or middlemen/women are in the process of trapping a suitor/suitoress whatever the case may be!  
 

I have yet to meet a brown, Sikh, punjabi, hindu,  Christian, Buddhist or Jain couple of any age group or generation that can put their hands on their hearts and profess their love or warmth of affection for each other, no matter how long they have been married, whether arranged or otherwise!

Too many narrow minded politics!

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Guest Jigsaw_Puzzled_Singh
On 9/9/2020 at 10:08 AM, jkvlondon said:

none of our oldies married because of love and yet they managed to develop it , raise families etc  to much emphasis is placed on 'love' when people do not understand what that actually is , they think it is something they've read or seen in books and films , it is not lust or the kind of mental idiocy that smacks of codependency. Love is the unconditional acceptance of the other person, nothing more or less, and that is closer to the ideal that Guru Sahiban placed in front of us rather than the romantic fantasies bandied about

^ That sounds nice but is in fact just something that would look good on paper, i.e. 'the books and films' that you mentioned. In reality, 'love' is just a 4 letter word that is over-used. If you take me and the missus for example - and all couples are the same - I don't 'love' her. I'm simply attached to her because I've grown fond of having her around. Just like my arm. I don't 'love' my arm but I like having it with me in situations and would be lost without it. I like my arm. 

Now...that's ^ 85% of it. There's also another 15% and that is something called 'majboori'. A good moral upright person needs to have discipline. He or she needs to live a disciplined life. The majboori of sticking with your spouse and raising children together is vital to that good discipline. 

And there you have it: Good discipline and growing slightly fond of someone is what a real good marriage is actually about. You're bandying the word 'love' around without having a proper understanding of it.

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