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Cousin wants to cut hair


Guest Singhm121
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Guest Singhm121

So my brother doesn’t keep long hair, I do. My brothers reason is. ‘I just wanna live life, I don’t wanna follow being a Sikh even if it’s true I don’t care’.

Now my cousin keeps long hair but he’s been pushed into being a Sikh. He really doesn’t know much. Now recently, My brothers been asking him ‘when he’s gonna cut his hair’ like it’s a definite thing. It seems that my brother is getting around to my cousin now and I’m asking my cousin why would u cut it and he’s staying stuff like ‘it’s too hard to manage’ like what? He’s saying he might cut it before uni or something,

How can I persuade him around? I’m trying to learn myself as much as I can about sikhi but I don’t really know much and my parents personally aren’t that supportive of me, my dad actually wants me to cut my hair he has said many times wants me to ‘sort myself out’ and ‘get a nice haircut’... some people don’t understand...

But I don’t know, what can I say in a small conversation? I don’t know enough really to start giving him a lecture but I know personally that sikhi is undeniably 100% the truth it makes too much sense which is why I attempt to peruse sikhi as much as I can and I will start doing more and more in the future.

But he... he doesn’t know anything... I mean like I can’t just let him step away from out purpose in life like that can I? What should I do?

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The best thing is going to be open conversation and education (I know, cliché). Not only to explain to him why it should be kept, but to understand the root of it. He's managing fine up till now, so what's going to change? A lot of it is going to be asking him to gain a deeper understanding of why he wants to cut it.

Ultimately, it's his bad karam if he cuts, and his good karam if he keeps. Try your best, Guru kirpa??

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Guest jigsaw_puzzled-singh
On 8/16/2020 at 10:17 AM, learningkaur said:

Send him basics of sikhi videos. They are really motivational ! The ones by bhai jagraj singh Ji 

Actually, I would say his videos have driven almost as many people away as they have towards. Depends how well-read and academic the OP's cousin is. If he's the intellectual type the basics of sikhi videos by Jugraj Singh will rub him the wrong way in the sense that he won't be able to overcome the fact that Jugraj very cleverly manipulated social media in a way that meant he never had to answer any difficult questions, i.e. edited in such a way that he always had the last word and his words were the ultimate truth. His videos appeal more the lesser educated masses.

To the OP I say this:  If your cousin's Sikhi depends on force, lectures and emotional threats than what value will it be to him and the panth as a whole. Are we really playing just a numbers game where the object is to get as many as we can into our club, no matter what the quality ?  I've said many times before that Sikhi is not for everybody. Our parcharaks have for too long recruited the wrong type of people into wearing the guise of gursikhs and the kartoothan of these people upsets us all when we see what they get up to - things that reflect badly on us all. Your cousin has to be allowed to do what's right for him for his own mental wellbeing. Perhaps, that route he chooses will be Sikhi but the process of making that choice must be free from manipulation.

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Honestly, if he wants to cut it then he should. You should try your best to inspire him to keep it, inspire him with the meaning of it. It may awaken something in him, but if it doesn't, then it doesn't. It's no big deal. He'll get it maybe next lifetime. There is no rush. We're playing an eternal game of love here. We all level up at our own pace. You can help other players, but ultimately they must play it themselves. This is between him and Guru Ji. No one can be forced to be a Sikh, no one can be forced to fall in love with the Guru so deeply that they decide to change their life and habits. Some of us do fall in love and leave our old self behind. It must be a natural thing that comes from the heart. He will learn on his own time. Go ahead and lead the horse to water, talk about the benefits. Whether or not he drinks is up to him. Don't stress over it. Maharajah has a plan and always has. It's in His hands. Everything that occurs is according to his hukam. Nothing is outside of his hukam. "Hukame antar sabh ko, bahare hukam na koi." Do what you can, encourage him to keep it, but don't stress over that which you can't control.  

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Guest Shah jahan
On 8/22/2020 at 12:30 AM, Fareed said:

Honestly, if he wants to cut it then he should. You should try your best to inspire him to keep it, inspire him with the meaning of it. It may awaken something in him, but if it doesn't, then it doesn't. It's no big deal. He'll get it maybe next lifetime. There is no rush. We're playing an eternal game of love here. We all level up at our own pace. You can help other players, but ultimately they must play it themselves. This is between him and Guru Ji. No one can be forced to be a Sikh, no one can be forced to fall in love with the Guru so deeply that they decide to change their life and habits. Some of us do fall in love and leave our old self behind. It must be a natural thing that comes from the heart. He will learn on his own time. Go ahead and lead the horse to water, talk about the benefits. Whether or not he drinks is up to him. Don't stress over it. Maharajah has a plan and always has. It's in His hands. Everything that occurs is according to his hukam. Nothing is outside of his hukam. "Hukame antar sabh ko, bahare hukam na koi." Do what you can, encourage him to keep it, but don't stress over that which you can't control.  

You are talking plain s*** fo you even know the Sikh history? Why would you tell a Sikh to cut their hair if they want? Sikhi does not allow its followers to cut their hair, FULL STOP. He can cut his hair if he is planning to follow or look like sullehs or hindu pundits with bodhies and dhotties. Don’t bother to associate with Sikhi or Sikhs if he wanna go and cut his hair. Keep it!

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