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Guest singh.vanco
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4 hours ago, puzzled said:

I agree absolutely. This is going to eat the brother away for the rest of his life. Why did she lie? And if she did what else is she lying about? Was it just the hindu guy?  Why did she lie?

Personally, as a man, being with a woman who has already been with others is just disgusting for me. Its against my belief and values. As a man I cant have that.

Its fine if a person hasn't got a issue with that, but I do. The idea of being intimate with someone who already has been intimate is just off putting for me! Touching someone who has been touched before, sticking my stuff into something which has already had many stuck into it in the past is just disgusting. 

People have their fun, men and women, and then they want to settle with the decent person. 

Just couple of days back a lady who is our family friend, told us how her brother in India had a rishta but he keeps on refusing it. His parents kept pressuring him into it because the females from a "good family" . Their not from a pind but from a shahr, so the boy went around the shahr asking about the girl, and it turned out shes been with every bittu, bunty and sunny in the shahr, including with her own chachas son!  He himself is a really decent guy and he got angry and said that they all mess around first and then want to settle with the decent guy. 

People need to be more smart, a little "field research" wont hurt! 

". His parents kept pressuring him into it because the females from a "good family" .

This part always eludes me.

Just because someone is from a good family does not always mean that person is good.

Also what is meant by "good".

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5 hours ago, Ranjeet01 said:

Also what is meant by "good".

Usually, parents who've kept away from scandal and improper behaviour, or at least have managed to keep news of any outbreaks of impropriety from emerging beyond the four walls of the family home.

They're your average, decent, hard-working family. This good reputation is mistakenly conferred onto the children of such parents as if such behaviour is genetically inherited, lol. It's not.

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1 hour ago, Ranjeet01 said:

". His parents kept pressuring him into it because the females from a "good family" .

This part always eludes me.

Just because someone is from a good family does not always mean that person is good.

Also what is meant by "good".

Like a decent, respectable and traditional family, apparently the kids from these families are also decent lol!

I got made redundant a few months back and randomly someone offered a rishta for me and asked my mother!  which i found very odd and i told my mother you did tell them that i got made redundant, and she was like yeah i told them that but the girl doesn't mind! all she wants and all her family want is a guy from a good family!  I found that just strange and knew something dodgy was going on there lol! Why would anyone want to get married to someone who don't work, i said no straightaway and said somethings not right. My mother on the other hand said oh the girl said she doesn't mind and that i will eventually get a job and that they are a really traditional good family just like us bla bla bla.     

I can see how some worried person who is uncertain about their future and desperately looking for a partner possibly would of said yes! and gone forward with it.

another thing parents get carried away with and deluded by is the person being a vegetarian!  just coz someone is vegetarian apparently they are really good lmao   

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48 minutes ago, puzzled said:

I found that just strange and knew something dodgy was going on there lol! Why would anyone want to get married to someone who don't work, i said no straightaway and said somethings not right.

I think you dodged a bullet mate! 

A high value lady who knows her worth would not be willing to settle. 

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3 hours ago, DoabeyWali said:

It would help if you stopped spreading hate regarding Sikh women. Some Sikh women do choose to remain celibate until marriage. You implying that all Sikh women have a loose character is very insulting. 

Hatred? Did you even read my comment? Kindly tell me when did I say that "All" sikh women are characterless. I clearly said that there are some(infact many but definitely not all) sikh women that trap young gullible amritdhari singhs in marriage after dating around. It's my observation here in Delhi and even in Maharashtra(Mumbai).

Also, just bcoz I praised hindu/muslim women for not engaging in pre marital stuff doesn't mean I hate sikh women. I just shared my personal experiences that my non sikh female colleagues have good character and moral values. My whole point was that women should not be judged based on their religion and appearance. Its a typical punjabi mentality that a saalwar kameez desi sardarni has a good character but western clothes wearing non sikh women are opposite. This mentality needs to change. I have noticed that some sikh men immediately say yes to marriage if the sikh girl is amritdhari or wearing keski without even doing proper research. Did I say anything wrong? Where is hatred? 

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On 8/16/2020 at 12:41 PM, Guest singh.vanco said:

However, after that, I got to know about my wife's previous relationship which ended few years ago as she said the guy was abusive and did not trust her. At that time, she was not baptised and the guy was a hindu. But the fact that she did not talked about this before our marriage has really left an impact on me. Even after she getting baptised, she used to talk <banned word filter activated> with some guys, although she says she was never with anyone physically after that relationship.

If she talked to these guys after taking amrit, then that is extremely wrong. She probably didn't learn from her previous mistakes then.

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