Jump to content

I am stuck and really need someone to guide me


Guest singh.vanco
 Share

Recommended Posts

Guest Ambivalent
On 9/2/2020 at 1:17 PM, DelhiTurbanator said:

Well said bro. Completely agreed! As we have discussed before, gursikh guys from sheltered families are very gullible and are easily manipulated by fake characterless dastaar wearing sikh women. These type of women know the weakness of amritdhari men and trap them in marriage.

 

If I were this sikh guy in question, I would immediately divorce this girl and make sure her parents know that why I divorced her(so that she doesn't trap another innocent Sikh man).

 

Let these incidents be a lesson to those gursikh men who specifically look for amritdhari dastaar women......I just wanna say guys, get a life! Stop judging a woman based on her appearance. There are non sikh women that do not have sikhi swaroop but they are very decent and don't engage in pre marital sex by choice. I have amazing Hindu/Muslim female classmates who fit this criteria. I would definitely choose them as a life partner over a sikh woman that sleeps around and later confesses her mistakes to gain brownie points that everyone deseves a second chance. The sangat that supports this "second chance" thing have really low moral values. There is saying in india "Sau chuhe maarke billi haj ko chali"(Cat goes on a pilgrimage after eating hundreds of mice). Dear sangat who are still in favour of this bs "everyone deserves second chance" let me remind you that Guru Har rai sahib ji didn't give his second chance when he tried to alter gurbaani. Anti sikh activities have no place in sikhi.

Sorry to alarm you but not all dastar wearing females are bad. There are some very good ones around too but very hard to meet  or strike up any friendships! They play very hard to get because their standards are are way too high and noble.  They don’t look at anyone, I mean men, let alone a gursikh. The reason they are like that is due to the fact they are highly educated and have finally understood the message of Sikhi; and plus the fact their parenting has been very wise and loving.  

They are not some old riff-raff you see all over the world. They are very choosy as to who they lay their eyes on, as they only have them for the Guru and no one else. 
Why are amritarry boys so sheltered or gullible? Have you ever asked yourselves this question? The reason they are so is how their parents brought them up. They were molly-coddled  far too much by their parents for their own good. When they were little boys they were always treated better than their female siblings just because they were boys! Don’t the fools realise how this kind of parenting stunts their boys’ growth? They grow up expecting everything given to them on a plate by their mothers, grandmothers or sisters! Girls always sense this kind of injustice done to them, even though they don’t voice it! But as soon as they reach a certain legal age and experience freedom for the first time in their lives .....well you can imagine what happens next!  And this is what’s happening in the Sikh communities everywhere! 

Once they reach university or start working they start doing things behind their parents backs, always lying to them about their extra curriculum or work related activities such as smoking, drinking, flirting, sleeping around, giving impression to  their peers that they are very westernised and hip! Even though all this is done behind their parents backs! They do all this to compete with boys gursikhs or sehaj Sikhs! They know when boys do all this no one complains or makes fuss! This is the way majority of parents behave, lying to each other and never letting the cat out of the bag ever! And before anyone knows,  it’s too late!  
 

It’s not the fault of dastar wearing women to behave this way. It is the fault of the amritarry boys for leading sheltered lives and becoming gullible right down to their little toes! They need to wake up and tell their parents to stop molly-coddling them at the expense of their sisters or any other females around.  They need to tell them to let them grow and become independent and stand on their feet. The boys need to grow up as boys first and then men! They need to become street smart at a very young age and not hide behind her apron strings each time someone bullies them or looks at them in a bad way! They need to be taught how to be tough without becoming bullies or  aggressive Instead, the mothers molly-coddle them so much without  realizing how it’s stunting the boys growth, his maturation, formation of strong character and masculinity! Don’t the parents understand that their biased upbringing of their boys is making them docile resembling some tooti-fruiti sissies, huh!  They are growing into big babies, gullible and easily mislead into making huge mistakes in their lives! It’s all the fault of parents and boys/men for becoming sissies and not proper grown up smart men! Babies, that’s who they grow up as!
 

First of all, these mothers need to teach their children ‘equality’ regardless of who their children are in terms of their sex or gender!! Then they need to teach them how to speak the truth and to be polite to each other. They need to learn how to respect each other.  All this starts at home if parents have any desire to save their children from hurting each other and outsiders, by lying, cheating and deceiving.

How did OP marry her without knowing the truth about her prior to his marriage? How did this women he married was able to lie and deceive him about her life before they tied the knot? Is lying, deceiving others, brushing everything under the carpet, leading dishonest lives part of the culture? I wonder ..,,

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Shocked at LIARS
1 hour ago, jkvlondon said:

and if the girl is a rape/abuse victim should she tell any number of possible suitors? please think about cases that don't involve wayward character. and not always true, about that ask a doctor.

Look here, cases where they have been raped or abused is exceptionally a serious situation!  Do you think in all honesty, the number of suitors deserve to be lied to,   kept in the dark about this? What right have you got to impose that or any kind of suffering on the innocent suitors? For they will be shocked to find out later on that the person they married had been raped/abused and no one told them!  By lying to them, YOU would’ve DEPRIVED  them of their choice to make the right decision for themselves! Honestly, learn to be honest for God’s sakes! Don’t deprive them of their right to make the  right decision when deciding who they marry or not!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Shocked at LIARS
On 9/2/2020 at 4:44 PM, Guest Gurminder said:

she should have stated prior to marriage!

And when you consumated marriage u should have known some body else has been here.

I totally agree with you. Honesty is THE BEST POLICY and what’s more Sikhi teaches Sikhs not to lie.  Why should anyone have to consummate a relationship without knowing their past? God only knows how many relationships Op’s wife been through! They say, if a person sleeps with someone (one night stands or even marriage) they sleep with all the other partners the person has had in the past prior to sleeping with this person! Get it? No one has the right to inflict suffering on anyone, just think of the  karmic consequences!  I feel sorry for OP, but what is he to do now? He is suffering and she is responsible for his suffering! It all started with one person lying to him about something so important!  How can she be so selfish as not to come out in the open before he married her?! Liars are do immature and foolish, god save us from them!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 hours ago, Ranjeet01 said:

The type of women who like to hang around groups of guys know that they will get attention that they won't get hanging around other women.

There is a pecking order with women based on who is the prettiest and who is the slimmest. 

Have you ever noticed that prettier and slimmer girls tend to have chubbier friends? It is to make themselves look good. 

Attention is the coin of the realm in girl world. 

This isn’t true.

The new generation of girls/women are supportive and empower eachother. Women don’t need to befriend men for attention, their girlfriends are there.

A lot of your views are out of date.


A lot of pretty girls like having pretty friends along side them so they can collectively look pretty. 

Instagram obsessed girls now like to take a good photo and actually don’t want a heavier girl ‘ruining’ it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

43 minutes ago, learningkaur said:

This isn’t true.

The new generation of girls/women are supportive and empower eachother. Women don’t need to befriend men for attention, their girlfriends are there.

A lot of your views are out of date.


A lot of pretty girls like having pretty friends along side them so they can collectively look pretty. 

Instagram obsessed girls now like to take a good photo and actually don’t want a heavier girl ‘ruining’ it.

Not gnna lie but one my closest cousin sister always sticks photos of herself and our other cousin as her WhatsApp photo and one day my mother asked her why she always has a photo up of herself and our other cousin, her response was because she looks better than her!  Both of them are my mothers nieces so I could she my mother wasnt too happy hearing that, but my cousin sister thought it was halirious!  

Having female cousins in their 20s and some female friends, iv seen/heard how horrible and b1tchy girls are towards each other, behind each others backs! 

Its actually horrible, the stuff iv heard. 

I know 2 hindu girls, we used to work together years ago  but I still meet up with them. One is pretty and slim while the other is a big girl. While I used walk with the slim pretty one and the big one used to be in front of us, the slim one used to look at the big ones bum and then look at me and start laughing discreetly!  When talking about her she also used to call her stuff like the hippo etc, and make rude jokes about how the big one would struggle in "bedroom stuff" and to this day she is still her friends with her! 

Iv seen a lot of this in girls!   They are ruthless to each other 

Girls are scary  lol!    ?

 

I actually cant get my head around how girls can be friends, but then be horrible, but then still be friends!

Its phenomenal!   Just mind boggling 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, puzzled said:

Not gnna lie but one my closest cousin sister always sticks photos of herself and our other cousin as her WhatsApp photo and one day my mother asked her why she always has a photo up of herself and our other cousin, her response was because she looks better than her!  Both of them are my mothers nieces so I could she my mother wasnt too happy hearing that, but my cousin sister thought it was halirious!  

Having female cousins in their 20s and some female friends, iv seen/heard how horrible and b1tchy girls are towards each other, behind each others backs! 

Its actually horrible, the stuff iv heard. 

I know 2 hindu girls, we used to work together years ago  but I still meet up with them. One is pretty and slim while the other is a big girl. While I used walk with the slim pretty one and the big one used to be in front of us, the slim one used to look at the big ones bum and then look at me and start laughing discreetly!  When talking about her she also used to call her stuff like the hippo etc, and make rude jokes about how the big one would struggle in "bedroom stuff" and to this day she is still her friends with her! 

Iv seen a lot of this in girls!   They are ruthless to each other 

Girls are scary  lol!    ?

 

I actually cant get my head around how girls can be friends, but then be horrible, but then still be friends!

Its phenomenal!   Just mind boggling 

actually the slim one was UGLY in mind and soul to misuse the other girl for so long , Hope it doesn't destroy the other girl when she realises she's being used .

Link to comment
Share on other sites

10 minutes ago, Kaurr said:

As a female I try to avoid those wannabe pretty girls as much as possible. They're scary people. And being in a fight with one of them is even scarier. 

I can't stand it when someone pretends to be friends with a girl and talks sh1t about them behind their back. It really upsets me. From what I've seen, guys are a lot less complicated.

nah these days even guys are at the same ish , but it is also a factor they will use the others for what they have into the bargain

Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 hours ago, learningkaur said:

This isn’t true.

The new generation of girls/women are supportive and empower eachother. Women don’t need to befriend men for attention, their girlfriends are there.

A lot of your views are out of date.


A lot of pretty girls like having pretty friends along side them so they can collectively look pretty. 

Instagram obsessed girls now like to take a good photo and actually don’t want a heavier girl ‘ruining’ it.

My views are based on observations and facts.

Female nature is female nature and it will remain the same in the past, present or future.

This is not saying that the female is good or bad, it is just accepting a woman for what she is.

These behaviours are hardwired.

Women get attention wherever they can. However, they get better attention in male groups than in groups with other women.

A less attractive girl who does not get a look in with a group of more attractive girls do move in with a male group.

You see this in the video gaming community. Where these girls are hanging out with nerds and geeks. You see this dynamic reflected to a degree in the "Big Bang Theory" sit com. 

If anything Instagram has amplified certain women's behaviour. What is also does is enable a very nice income to be earned by becoming an instagram model.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 hours ago, puzzled said:

Not gnna lie but one my closest cousin sister always sticks photos of herself and our other cousin as her WhatsApp photo and one day my mother asked her why she always has a photo up of herself and our other cousin, her response was because she looks better than her!  Both of them are my mothers nieces so I could she my mother wasnt too happy hearing that, but my cousin sister thought it was halirious!  

Having female cousins in their 20s and some female friends, iv seen/heard how horrible and b1tchy girls are towards each other, behind each others backs! 

Its actually horrible, the stuff iv heard. 

I know 2 hindu girls, we used to work together years ago  but I still meet up with them. One is pretty and slim while the other is a big girl. While I used walk with the slim pretty one and the big one used to be in front of us, the slim one used to look at the big ones bum and then look at me and start laughing discreetly!  When talking about her she also used to call her stuff like the hippo etc, and make rude jokes about how the big one would struggle in "bedroom stuff" and to this day she is still her friends with her! 

Iv seen a lot of this in girls!   They are ruthless to each other 

Girls are scary  lol!    ?

 

I actually cant get my head around how girls can be friends, but then be horrible, but then still be friends!

Its phenomenal!   Just mind boggling 

I am beginning to think there isn't such a thing as female friendship.

Back in my student days, there were 4 girls who had their clique. All very close to each other.

Many years later, I met 2 of them and I asked them about 1 of the other friends in their group and they said they couldn't stand her. It was quite an eye opener.

Then there was another occurence in a  place of work. There were 2 female colleagues who become great friends,  they hung out together, went to lunch together, holiday etc. Best of friends. 

Then one of them got a promotion into another department. It was like they never knew each other, the friendship was completely abandoned.

Us men relate to each other in very different way to women.

Men can insult each other and not mean it and still be friends. 

Women can be very complimentary to each other and not mean it.

Women have the ability to move on from a relationship very quickly like it did not exist. They can discard with great ease. 

Men find it harder to get over a bad relationship. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share


  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt


  • Topics

  • Posts

    • yeh it's true, we shouldn't be lazy and need to learn jhatka shikaar. It doesn't help some of grew up in surrounding areas like Slough and Southall where everyone thought it was super bad for amrit dharis to eat meat, and they were following Sant babas and jathas, and instead the Singhs should have been normalising jhatka just like the recent world war soldiers did. We are trying to rectifiy this and khalsa should learn jhatka.  But I am just writing about bhog for those that are still learning rehit. As I explained, there are all these negative influences in the panth that talk against rehit, but this shouldn't deter us from taking khanda pahul, no matter what level of rehit we are!
    • How is it going to help? The link is of a Sikh hunter. Fine, but what good does that do the lazy Sikh who ate khulla maas in a restaurant? By the way, for the OP, yes, it's against rehit to eat khulla maas.
    • Yeah, Sikhs should do bhog of food they eat. But the point of bhog is to only do bhog of food which is fit to be presented to Maharaj. It's not maryada to do bhog of khulla maas and pretend it's OK to eat. It's not. Come on, bro, you should know better than to bring this Sakhi into it. Is this Sikh in the restaurant accompanied by Guru Gobind Singh ji? Is he fighting a dharam yudh? Or is he merely filling his belly with the nearest restaurant?  Please don't make a mockery of our puratan Singhs' sacrifices by comparing them to lazy Sikhs who eat khulla maas.
    • Seriously?? The Dhadi is trying to be cute. For those who didn't get it, he said: "Some say Maharaj killed bakras (goats). Some say he cut the heads of the Panj Piyaras. The truth is that they weren't goats. It was she-goats (ਬਕਰੀਆਂ). He jhatka'd she-goats. Not he-goats." Wow. This is possibly the stupidest thing I've ever heard in relation to Sikhi.
    • Instead of a 9 inch or larger kirpan, take a smaller kirpan and put it (without gatra) inside your smaller turban and tie the turban tightly. This keeps a kirpan on your person without interfering with the massage or alarming the masseuse. I'm not talking about a trinket but rather an actual small kirpan that fits in a sheath (you'll have to search to find one). As for ahem, "problems", you could get a male masseuse. I don't know where you are, but in most places there are professional masseuses who actually know what they are doing and can really relieve your muscle pains.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use