how to find a Gursikh match in Australia

[indersingh1313]

wjkk wjkf ji

I would like to request sangat to give me their views about arrange marriage, where you get introduce to a girl and you never met her before in your life,

1.how to trust her so quick

2. if she is Amritdhari then at least I can trust my Guru and do ardaas to take first step

3. but if not Amritdhari and wiling to take Amrit just to get marry, its still not fair.

4. if just in case she had any past then how to ask and get truthful answer

5. how can I assure that if she had a past and she will not carry it into marriage life (because you hear a lot of stories these days)

6. can Sikhs get married and live under common law?

few more things I will add on later

thanks

[ipledgeblue]

1 hour ago, indersingh1313 said:

wjkk wjkf ji

I would like to request sangat to give me their views about arrange marriage, where you get introduce to a girl and you never met her before in your life,

1.how to trust her so quick

2. if she is Amritdhari then at least I can trust my Guru and do ardaas to take first step

3. but if not Amritdhari and wiling to take Amrit just to get marry, its still not fair.

4. if just in case she had any past then how to ask and get truthful answer

5. how can I assure that if she had a past and she will not carry it into marriage life (because you hear a lot of stories these days)

6. can Sikhs get married and live under common law?

few more things I will add on later

thanks

I think one thing that is important is you get as much chance as possible to chat to the girl, and also talk to the vicholay as well.

Make sure you are not pushed into getting engaged, as families in India can be pushy!

[Koi]

10 hours ago, indersingh1313 said:

sure ji and you all are invited in advance for my future wedding. not sure all the sangat (vichola/vicholan) with get the Vichola ring but.

Oh no worries, I'll accept it on everyone's behalf !

[Koi]

9 hours ago, indersingh1313 said:

wjkk wjkf ji

I would like to request sangat to give me their views about arrange marriage, where you get introduce to a girl and you never met her before in your life,

1.how to trust her so quick

2. if she is Amritdhari then at least I can trust my Guru and do ardaas to take first step

3. but if not Amritdhari and wiling to take Amrit just to get marry, its still not fair.

4. if just in case she had any past then how to ask and get truthful answer

5. how can I assure that if she had a past and she will not carry it into marriage life (because you hear a lot of stories these days)

6. can Sikhs get married and live under common law?

few more things I will add on later

thanks

1. No one says you need to trust her quickly. Though I suppose with the arranged marriage, the element of a guarantee is there. But even then, take your time.

2. & 3. In my experience, the fact that they're Amritdhari rarely makes a difference. If the personality doesn't fit, it ain't gonna matter, as you'll be clashing all the time. 

4. & 5. You'll need to be specific about what could bother you and why. And then ask as respectfully and truthfully as possible. When it comes to this, everyone is different, and we've all made mistakes. It's entirely your call...

6. Yes, don't see why not.

[indersingh1313]

23 hours ago, ipledgeblue said:

I think one thing that is important is you get as much chance as possible to chat to the girl, and also talk to the vicholay as well.

Make sure you are not pushed into getting engaged, as families in India can be pushy!

wjkk wjkf ji

thank you for your views. 

[indersingh1313]

15 hours ago, Koi said:

1. No one says you need to trust her quickly. Though I suppose with the arranged marriage, the element of a guarantee is there. But even then, take your time.

2. & 3. In my experience, the fact that they're Amritdhari rarely makes a difference. If the personality doesn't fit, it ain't gonna matter, as you'll be clashing all the time. 

4. & 5. You'll need to be specific about what could bother you and why. And then ask as respectfully and truthfully as possible. When it comes to this, everyone is different, and we've all made mistakes. It's entirely your call...

6. Yes, don't see why not.

wjkk wjkf ji

I appreciate your views.

arranged marriages aren't the same as they were before,

middle person (relative, vichola or friend) only introduce you to someone but will not give you that guarantee thing.

and the real problem is that they want quick results or answers yes or no!

I don't feel down or anything, but this is my priority at the moment and I am keenly working on it with Waheguru's blessings.

 

[Koi]

6 hours ago, indersingh1313 said:

wjkk wjkf ji

I appreciate your views.

arranged marriages aren't the same as they were before,

middle person (relative, vichola or friend) only introduce you to someone but will not give you that guarantee thing.

and the real problem is that they want quick results or answers yes or no!

I don't feel down or anything, but this is my priority at the moment and I am keenly working on it with Waheguru's blessings.

 

Well, looks like we're in the same boat then! Is there a lot of sangat in Australia?

[indersingh1313]

3 hours ago, Koi said:

Well, looks like we're in the same boat then! Is there a lot of sangat in Australia?

Hanji, there's a lot of sangat here but mostly really young ones.

[Koi]

5 hours ago, indersingh1313 said:

Hanji, there's a lot of sangat here but mostly really young ones.

And how old are you (if you don't mind me asking)? If (like myself) you're over 30, it does become increasingly difficult over time...

[indersingh1313]

6 hours ago, Koi said:

And how old are you (if you don't mind me asking)? If (like myself) you're over 30, it does become increasingly difficult over time...

yes I am over 30 now, I only started searching for a life partner from last 9-10 months approx. spoke to few girls regarding this but haven't been lucky yet to find the right one. because there were few issues like moving overseas problem and not having similar beliefs etc. everything takes times I guess. 

I do get a quite few proposals for the arrange marriage but its not very convincing to me. i would like to get to know someone before I share my life with someone. you don't get much chance in arrange marriage, everything is so quick and pushy. 

moreover, this covid thing is around and not sure how long it will last. its just easy if I find someone here. 

and I am sure with Waheguru's Kirpa t will happen soon.

something I have some scenarios or questions I just ask sangat for their views. its really helpful this forum.

wjkk wjkf ji