I always found it strange how the kids who were 'pushed' hard to do well at school by parents and relatives from our community were the most 'mental' at uni once they escaped their parents and relatives . Personally I was never pushed , I studied as I liked it .so was quite boring at unis. But the gujjus, Punjabis and paks who would tell me stories of their upbringing were the ones who drank, did drugs , slept around etc... You should really look at the work of Dr Gabor mate ..and his work on childhood trauma and then you'll understand why our community is so messed up
You may want to consider reflecting and seeing if your able to forgive yourself. Carrying guilt is really unhealthy. Obv doesnt mean we just go around doing anything, but often guilt can stop us progressing spirituality. Remember only the Guru is perfect, we are always making mistakes.