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I completed grade 9 in punjab.  I was there a year and I learned it.  Reading and writing Gurmukhi is actually easy  Its not a hard language. But understanding Gurbani was difficult for

Hello everyone. I am a 36 year old male from Surrey Canada 🇨🇦. Im married and I have two children. Both under 10.  In 2015 to 2018 I was involved with an indo Canadian gang (Punjabi mafia). I ran th

You say you think you are lying by keeping hair. Who do you think you should be if you have hair? And why do you think this?  Would you really ever be satisfied with you who you are to be wo

On 10/16/2020 at 5:52 PM, Singhkhalsa19842020 said:

Hello everyone. I am a 36 year old male from Surrey Canada 🇨🇦. Im married and I have two children. Both under 10. 
In 2015 to 2018 I was involved with an indo Canadian gang (Punjabi mafia). I ran the business side of it for my crew for a couple years with some help from a really close friend, who I no longer speak too. Overtime I also indulged in the same drugs I had stored for dealing. .....

 

You have done a lot of wrong things but you have redeemed yourself by doing the right things. 

You are in a better place because of Sikhi. Look how far you have come because of Sikhi. 

If you do not want to take Amrit then at least keep your kes and dastaar and keep doing the nitnem.

Keep it simple. Your daily paath has a had a lot of benefits that you do not realise.

You will realise what you are missing when you stop doing it.

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7 hours ago, justasking said:

i can i ask u why u guys didnt deal with blacks or bikers?

At the time there was alot of stuff going on with them. We didnt want to jump in the middle of it. Most of those black gangs were not very organized. And the bikers were too loud. I didnt trust them personally.

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3 hours ago, Ranjeet01 said:

You have done a lot of wrong things but you have redeemed yourself by doing the right things. 

You are in a better place because of Sikhi. Look how far you have come because of Sikhi. 

If you do not want to take Amrit then at least keep your kes and dastaar and keep doing the nitnem.

Keep it simple. Your daily paath has a had a lot of benefits that you do not realise.

You will realise what you are missing when you stop doing it.

Thank you for replying. I will try. 

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I would suggest becoming a nihang, this way *DELETED*

Also nihang Singh often just wear the *DELETED*

Nihang Singhs often don't mind their *DELETED*- but encourage them to keep head hair uncut.

I would strongly recommend finding some local nihang Singhs and I am almost sure they will convince you to stay in Sikhi and show you a more liveable and workable Sikhi.

It's fine to listen to nitnem if you don't do it yourself. 

Sikhi is not meant to be stressful, don't hold yourselves to the standards of the amritdharis you initially saw.

In the West, you have basically got Amritdhari groups that have been based upon the most extreme sections of Amritdhari community. If you go to Punjab, or outside like hazur sahib etc you will see much more normal Amritdharis that don't do half the stuff Amritdharis in the West say you need to do.

It is fine if you just listen to your nitnem, don't eat halal meat,  don't have sex outside your marriage,. Don't smoke tobacco and don't cut your hair and don't take intoxicants. 

With kakkars just do your best as you can and don't get too hung up on it. It is fine to have your own interpretation. Many Sikhs eg 3ho don't stress on wearing all 5ks while bathing etc.

Other than the above, three main focus should just be on fixing your inside being more humble and defeating the five evils.

It is better to follow a moderate Sikhi than to cut your hair. Just follow the basic for now.

Ask yourself - what would guru ji say to me right now? Would he say it is better to just do the bear minimum as an Amritdhari and add in on more later or to leave Amrit altogether? You don't have to be a perfect Saint, it's fine that you enjoy a physical relationship with your wife. Don't beat yourself up over it.

You don't have to wear Bana, just wear your normal dastar and 5ks

Do ardaas to guru sahib that he may give you the power and mindset to live in the way he wishes you to, not how your mind tells you to.

And don't even worry about panthic issues and khalistan etc for now

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On 10/17/2020 at 8:48 AM, TuhadaDaas said:

I would suggest becoming a nihang...

Beautiful reply. Thanks for your support. 
Yes I will look into that. I would like to do more research about the Nihangs before I go out to find them. 
I am a bit of an extremist. im either a Punjabi gangster mona, or trying to be that perfect Saint amritdhari lol. I need to find a balance. 
I might keep my hair. I don't know. I feel like it's not really me though. I'm pretending to be something I'm not.  When I took amrit my son started growing his hair too. That was 2 years ago. I didn't force him. I think he feels like I abandoned ship leaving him on it. Maybe in his mind he thinks we took this journey together and now I'm leaving. He's upset with me right now. I'm just tired of living a lie. That's all. I'm born in Canada and 34 years of my life I was just a Canadian mona. These last 2 years I'm somebody else. I look in the mirror everyday and I see a lie. Pretending to be something I'm not. I'm not comfortable with that part yet. Maybe it will take time. Maybe I should cut my hair step back and see how I feel. If I miss being a singh, then I know the answer. I'll grow my hair again but this time take things slow. And when I take amrit this time I will take it with my wife. I believe its better that way. We can follow the path together and support each other. 
Don't get me wrong. Guru Granth Sahib ji Maharaj has been great support for me. 
Sometimes I think I took amrit for all the political reasons with khalistani's. To be apart of a movement. 
The head granthi at the gurdwara even told me to take it easy and not focus too much on the political side of it yet. He told me to focus on Bani. He was right. 
Anyways ill have to think long and hard about this a bit more. 
I'll consider your advice as well. Its good advice. 
Thank you very much for your support. 

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On 10/17/2020 at 8:48 AM, TuhadaDaas said:

I would suggest becoming a nihang, this way *DELETED*

Also nihang Singh often just wear the *DELETED*

Nihang Singhs often don't mind their *DELETED*- but encourage them to keep head hair uncut.

🤦‍♂️ Please keep this advice to yourself.   You are making a mockery of Sikhi by spreading propaganda.  

Sikhi is not a buffet.  You don't understand the root cause for his current state of mind.   Filling his head with more hocus pocus will take him further away.  You love the hocus pocus. I will not get in your way. I can say more but your cheerleader squad is already very angry with me.  I don't want to upset the fragile hormonal angels any further.

@Singhkhalsa19842020 you are making very more excuses for breaking away from Guru Sahib.   Amrit never breaks.  It's pure. You are trying to get pure by breaking ties with impure ways of life.  You are having  a melt down again and this time you don't realize it.  

The first meltdown was when you realized, if I continue as a drug dealer I will end up in jail or dead and you didn't want to see your children going through the trauma of losing their dad.  That was the scariest time of your life.  You saw the benefits of getting out and you did something about it.

You are facing another melt down.  This melt down will surely kill you thou.  The Punj Pyare tell us nitnem is the oxygen keeping you alive.  Once you stop breathing, your dead.  The same is true for nitnem.  Once you stop seeing the spiritual benefits of doing nitnem.  You will die a pain full death. No one knows when we will breathe our last breath.  To take the last breath in vain, which is the  current road you are heading on, is a pointless life.  Your children and spouse will cry over your death, but soon they will forget about you and move on in life.  The beautiful things in life are only temporary and you are completely head over heels for it.  The true beauty in life is reading Gurbani.   The bliss from Gurbani can only be a part of your life once you realize your wife's beauty is dust (meaningless).  Its a harsh reality to accept.  Today the wife is beauty and your are enjoying her physically.  However with age she will lose her beauty and your mind will chase to find a younger woman to fantasize about or complete the act with.  When the mind is focused on Guru Sahib the mind doesn't care what others think. The mind sees the beauty in helping.  Yet you are so lost you can't even wear a bana in public with your wife because you believe people will be judging you.  This melt down is happening and you are choosing to give in.  You are quitting.  

So how can you get the spiritual connection with Guru Sahib again?  Read Gurbani in the language you understand what Guru Sahib is saying.  When reading Gurbani, soon as you realize your mind has drifted into dreamland.  Stop reading and start from the beginning and try again to focus and remember the pauri or shabad.  If you start day dreaming again.  Then kick the mind again and start from the beginning.   Bhagat Kabir ji says we literally have to wrestle with the mind to subdue it and with Guru Sahib kirpa it will bow down to Gurbani.  Which in turn will give you life.  Once you start seeing with Gurbani, you will never go back to the useless way of living as a slave to maya.

You can also save a reward for when you finish all the nitnem at the end of the day.  Soon the reward would not be necessary because the mind will wake up to the reward it receives from doing nitnem.  

I kept this pc as possible,  but if you want a real kick in the head to set you on the straight path again.  Send me a private message.   We all need a kick in the head

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22 minutes ago, TuhadaDaas said:

You say you think you are lying by keeping hair.

Who do you think you should be if you have hair? And why do you think this? 

Would you really ever be satisfied with you who you are to be worthy of being called a gursikh? The fact is we are all supposed to consider ourselves unworthy.

So if you are thinking you don't match up to being a gursikh with the appearance, you are actually being a perfect Sikh because guru sahib wants us to be humble. That person who thinks they are not a gursikh is the most worthy to have the appearance of a Sikh because they are focusing on their demerits and not feeling boastful about the good they do.

That person who thinks they are worthy of Sikhi is the one who is destined to fall.

 

Breaking Amrit now will cause you more turmoil as you are not aware of the spiritual disruptance it will cause inside you. Eating meat did not break your Amrit I can assure you, as it was not halal. 

 

Just be a basic Sikh, I assure you it is fine.  The guru says keep your hair, following the guru can never lead to unhappiness. However, not following the guru, i.e. leaving Amrit will definitely cause you unhappiness. Guru sahib has already told is this in gurbani to save us the misery of trying it out ourselves. Trust what the guru says. Only what the guru says can lead to happiness and everything else leads to misery.

ਆਪਸ ਕਉ ਜੋ ਜਾਣੈ ਨੀਚਾ 
aapas kau jo jaanai neechaa ||
One who sees himself as lowly,
 
 
ਸੋਊ ਗਨੀਐ ਸਭ ਤੇ ਊਚਾ 
souoo ganeeaai sabh te uoochaa ||
shall be accounted as the highest of all.
 
 

Yes that sounds right. I do think I'm not worthy to be a gursikh. But the way you explained it makes sense. Bani is beautiful. It's guidance and support that I need now

Thank you soo much for sharing 

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5 hours ago, Singhkhalsa19842020 said:

At the time there was alot of stuff going on with them. We didnt want to jump in the middle of it. Most of those black gangs were not very organized. And the bikers were too loud. I didnt trust them personally.

ah i see. were those black gangs locals from surrey vancouver or from settle or from toronto? I hear the punjabis involved in this sort of thing in BC r not as organized as they were before alot more trigger happy  and its pretty chaotic now. was ur crew involved in the groups moving to kelowna and east to alberta, winnipeg and toronto areas?

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26 minutes ago, Akalifauj said:

🤦‍♂️ Please keep this advice to yourself.   You are making a mockery of Sikhi by spreading propaganda.  

Sikhi is not a buffet.  You don't understand the root cause for his current state of mind.   Filling his head with more hocus pocus will take him further away.  You love the hocus pocus. I will not get in your way. I can say more but your cheerleader squad is already very angry with me.  I don't want to upset the fragile hormonal angels any further.

@Singhkhalsa19842020 you are making very more excuses for breaking away from Guru Sahib.   Amrit never breaks.  It's pure. You are trying to get pure by breaking ties with impure ways of life.  You are having  a melt down again and this time you don't realize it.  

The first meltdown was when you realized, if I continue as a drug dealer I will end up in jail or dead and you didn't want to see your children going through the trauma of losing their dad.  That was the scariest time of your life.  You saw the benefits of getting out and you did something about it.

You are facing another melt down.  This melt down will surely kill you thou.  The Punj Pyare tell us nitnem is the oxygen keeping you alive.  Once you stop breathing, your dead.  The same is true for nitnem.  Once you stop seeing the spiritual benefits of doing nitnem.  You will die a pain full death. No one knows when we will breathe our last breath.  To take the last breath in vain, which is the  current road you are heading on, is a pointless life.  Your children and spouse will cry over your death, but soon they will forget about you and move on in life.  The beautiful things in life are only temporary and you are completely head over heels for it.  The true beauty in life is reading Gurbani.   The bliss from Gurbani can only be a part of your life once you realize your wife's beauty is dust (meaningless).  Its a harsh reality to accept.  Today the wife is beauty and your are enjoying her physically.  However with age she will lose her beauty and your mind will chase to find a younger woman to fantasize about or complete the act with.  When the mind is focused on Guru Sahib the mind doesn't care what others think. The mind sees the beauty in helping.  Yet you are so lost you can't even wear a bana in public with your wife because you believe people will be judging you.  This melt down is happening and you are choosing to give in.  You are quitting.  

So how can you get the spiritual connection with Guru Sahib again?  Read Gurbani in the language you understand what Guru Sahib is saying.  When reading Gurbani, soon as you realize your mind has drifted into dreamland.  Stop reading and start from the beginning and try again to focus and remember the pauri or shabad.  If you start day dreaming again.  Then kick the mind again and start from the beginning.   Bhagat Kabir ji says we literally have to wrestle with the mind to subdue it and with Guru Sahib kirpa it will bow down to Gurbani.  Which in turn will give you life.  Once you start seeing with Gurbani, you will never go back to the useless way of living as a slave to maya.

You can also save a reward for when you finish all the nitnem at the end of the day.  Soon the reward would not be necessary because the mind will wake up to the reward it receives from doing nitnem.  

I kept this pc as possible,  but if you want a real kick in the head to set you on the straight path again.  Send me a private message.   We all need a kick in the head

Thanks for the support. Thank for messaging. I really appreciate it. Yes maybe I will send you private message and we can dig a little deeper. 

I respect people who can live up to being that perfect gursikh. Im clearly not that yet. I did wear the bana many times when I was out even with my wife. Didn't matter to me. Just pointing out people stare and talk. Your right it shouldn't bother me though. But sometimes I get sick of them. Unfortunately I'm not strong like gursikhs. I'm still very weak and low. I'm trying my best. 

That last bit you wrote about Bhagat kabir ji was beautiful. Thank you for sharing. 

Also please try to be nicer to others in the comment section my brother. I know sometimes we can't all think alike and have many disagreements but let's not just lash out on each other. Unless you guys have a past I don't know about. 

Thanks again we will talk soon. 

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