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Redoptics

Sayings, for saying sake

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When somebody is going through a bad time people always say 'My thoughts and prays are going to them' or something similar,  then they just change topic and I guarantee they don't prey for said person because usually they don't kniw them.

Just don't understand why people just say things, for the sake of saying, started to get me annoyed lately.

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Politeness.

Most people don't actually care about someone's struggles, and to be honest they aren't obligated to feel the other person's pain. But conventions of cordiality dictate that you don't behave like an unfeeling beast, and then walk away.

Just one of those things. I don't know why anyone would expect a casual acquaintance to devote any more than a passing thought to me. Why are you placing so much emphasis on what's implicitly understood to be polite convention?

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4 hours ago, MisterrSingh said:

Politeness.

Most people don't actually care about someone's struggles, and to be honest they aren't obligated to feel the other person's pain. But conventions of cordiality dictate that you don't behave like an unfeeling beast, and then walk away.

Just one of those things. I don't know why anyone would expect a casual acquaintance to devote any more than a passing thought to me. Why are you placing so much emphasis on what's implicitly understood to be polite convention?

I do not expect anything,  but why say something when you don't mean it, to me thats not being polite,  its just patting yourself on your back.

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1 hour ago, Redoptics said:

I do not expect anything,  but why say something when you don't mean it, to me thats not being polite,  its just patting yourself on your back.

Do you want them to ignore you because them stopping to talk to you, in a perfunctory manner, isn't a heartfelt gesture? Then you'd say, "People are cruel. They pretend I don't exist." Someone passing you by isn't going to launch into a deep, nuanced analysis of your frame of mind. That's not how people work. Your pain is yours; for someone else it's old news. That's life.

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24 minutes ago, MisterrSingh said:

Do you want them to ignore you because them stopping to talk to you, in a perfunctory manner, isn't a heartfelt gesture? Then you'd say, "People are cruel. They pretend I don't exist." Someone passing you by isn't going to launch into a deep, nuanced analysis of your frame of mind. That's not how people work. Your pain is yours; for someone else it's old news. That's life.

Its got nothing to do with me, I was talking in general.

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14 hours ago, Redoptics said:

When somebody is going through a bad time people always say 'My thoughts and prays are going to them' or something similar,  then they just change topic and I guarantee they don't prey for said person because usually they don't kniw them.

Just don't understand why people just say things, for the sake of saying, started to get me annoyed lately.

Next time you hear this, maybe you should question them?

lip service and formalities are ways of the world, I think there are more important things .

did you have a specific point ?

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1 hour ago, Redoptics said:

Its got nothing to do with me, I was talking in general.

I do know what you mean. It's just human nature.

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21 hours ago, Redoptics said:

When somebody is going through a bad time people always say 'My thoughts and prays are going to them' or something similar,  then they just change topic and I guarantee they don't prey for said person because usually they don't kniw them.

Just don't understand why people just say things, for the sake of saying, started to get me annoyed lately.

Its hard being a bystander to someone else'stragedy. 

Theres no right thing to do or say or to help. 

You dont want to pry or bring up sad kemories and make them cry. You also cant crack a joke or talk about the weather, its callous. Being silent is awkward. 

Like at a funeral, what can you say?

So civilized ppl are smart, they came up with ritualistic words that can ease the awkwardness and keep things moving along. I think its great.

If someone is sick. I can say i hope you feel better and you can move away.

If someones relatives died you can say Im so sorry to hear about your grandma.

If you meet someone, Hello Nice to meet you. 

For a mildly autistic or atleast socially impaired person, these phrases r a god send. They let me know the right thing to say and express with my facial expression as well. It really makes socializing easier, i have a blueprint for every occurence. And then i can ask them what i need and go on my way. Without endlessly agonising how do i approach a grieving person, will asking them for a favor now be callous etc

 

 

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